Chapter Eight: Tell Me What You See

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After his little 'outburst,' Ed seemed to be in rather high spirits. The only actual ongoing issue he had was with the radio. Since it was already getting well into December, the radio that Al like to listen to quite often, was only playing Christmas songs. As a result it was kept off most of the time, under the threat of Ed "seeing how long it took to hit the floor below from the top of the stairwell." And he would do it, too, so Al left it off.

Instead they spent a lot of time in the living room, where there was more room for Al to play with his cars (he could drive them up and down the hall as well) and Ed could sit at the coffee table. He would usually color or do a puzzle, or else work on the math problems that Maria had given him.

There was always at least one of the three adults at home, and usually two. Maes was often gone during the day since he had to work, and Maria often went out in the evenings to "have coffee with a friend." Glacia was almost always there, which was a perfect arrangement for Al. He loved to spend time with her, and it was obvious that she enjoyed his frequent company.

On the afternoon of December 20th, Glacia was at home alone with them.

Al was lying on his stomach playing with the red car he was seemingly obsessed with, and Ed was on his knees on the couch, looking out the window behind it with his chin resting on the sill.

"Hey guys," she said from the living room doorway. "Do you want to help me make cookies?"

"Okay!" said Al at once. He climbed to his feet and hurried over excitedly. Ed turned his head slightly to look at her, and then slowly followed them into the kitchen, where he sat down at the table to watch.

"Do you want to help, Ed?" she asked.

"No," he replied. Glacia was unfazed by his negativity, having half-expected him to refuse the offer anyways.

"Alright," she said. All of the ingredients had already been set out on the counter. "You can be my helper, okay Al?" she asked.

"Okay!" he replied. She pulled the stool up to the counter for him on her left, and they set to work. Al handed her things, and measured some of them out into the bowl while she mixed the dough in a bowl.

"Alrighty, it's looking good. Could you hand me the chocolate chips?" she asked ten minutes later. She was surprised to see the bag was held out to her from her right side. Her eyes travelled along the arm and fell upon the face of Edward with a gentle smile. He looked away from her gaze uncomfortably.

"Thankyou, Ed," she said, taking the bag and opening it. She set it down on the counter in front of him and handed him a one-cup measuring cup. "We need one scoop of those."

Ed didn't say anything, even though Al was grinning at him. He took the cup, scooped it full, and then poured them into the big bowl that Glacia held toward him.

"There we go," she said, mixing them into the dough. She carried the bowl over to the table and set out a couple of cookie sheets. Then, taking a spoon, she showed them how to drop the balls of dough into the sheets. Once they had the general idea, she stepped back and let the boys set to work. She watched them for a minute, and then turned to the counter to tidy up the mess.

She smiled while listening to their quiet chatter with her back turned.

"I think that one's too big, Al."

"It is not."

"Whatever."

"Hey, that one's bigger than mine was!"

"It is not."

"Is too."

"They're the same size, Al."

"..."

"I bet mine will taste better, brother."

"Al, they're from the same dough!"

"..."

"Mine will still taste better."

Glacia just chuckled to herself. When they had finished filling the two trays, she put them in the oven. "Do you guys want to eat what's left of the dough?" she offered.

"It's okay to eat it like this?" Al asked.

"A little bit won't hurt," she replied. The two boys exchanged grins before digging into the remainder of the cookie dough.

"You're making more, right?" asked Al. Glacia nodded. "Can we help with those ones, too?"

"Well I hoped you'd want to," she replied with a smile. "Shortbread cookies are much more fun. You get to use the cookie-cutter, after all."

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When Maes opened the front door he was greeted by the delicious smell of freshly-baked cookies, and the sound of laughter from the kitchen. He hung up his coat and made his way quickly to the doorway. At the table, Ed and Al were busy decorating some shortbread cookies with icing. Glacia was watching them. She glanced up at Maes and walked over to his arms, giving him a welcome-home kiss.

"I'm guessing you guys had an easy day?"

"I would hardly call it easy. Making Christmas cookies is hard work, you know," Glacia teased. He just grinned back. His eyes suddenly caught the chocolate-chip ones on the counter.

"Ooh!" he said, sidestepping closer to the counter sneakily. Glacia just rolled her eyes at him.

"Only one, Maes," she said with mock-sternness. "You'll spoil your dinner." His face fell, but he took one cookie anyways. The boys both snickered. When they returned to their decorating, Maes was glad to see that even Edward seemed to be enjoying himself.

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The following day they all went to choose a Christmas tree. "You're leaving it a little late, aren't you?" asked Edward as they climbed out of the car at 10:00 in the morning. Maes just grinned at him.

"Nah... we've got plenty of time," he said calmly. Ed lifted one eyebrow skeptically, but remained silent. He folded his arms across his chest and followed them as they walked down a row of wrapped-up fallen trees.

"They all look exactly the same, all tied up like that," he said at last. "What's the big deal about picking one?"

"Ah," said Maes, winking back at him. "But that's where years of experience comes in handy." Ed rolled his eyes and pulled his toque lower over his ears. It wasn't snowing, but it was still cold.

"What about this one?" suggested Glacia a few minutes later. They all looked at the dark green pine tree she was referring to.

"I don't know," replied Maes. "I kind of like this one." Ed looked at the tree Maes was pointing to - it was a dark green pine tree as well. They looked exactly the same. Ed looked away and sighed in exasperation. This confirmed it; adults could be so stupid.

It took them 20 minutes to finally pick out a tree - one that Maria found - and as they loaded it onto the roof of the car and strapped it down, it began to snow. Ed looked up, letting the icy white flakes fall on his face. He stared up at the whiteness until Al called him away to the car again.

When they got back to the house, Ed and Al stayed outside to play in the snow while the adults set up the tree. As soon as they were alone, Al ran out into the yard, spun a quick circle and then stood still, trying to catch snowflakes on his tongue. Ed stared off into the distant snow-covered fields, barely visible through all of the swirling white powder in the air.

He could see shapes in the snow if he stared in one place long enough, he discovered. The falling snow would swirl together and become people and places he had known once, a long time ago. Or was it really that long ago? Only four years or so... if even that. But somehow it seemed like a lifetime had passed since they'd been thrown into this chaotic and painful world.

He could see it though, almost as if it was really there. A little house on a green hill... a tall wooden windmill... they were playing by a river, with a beautiful woman watching them lovingly from the picnic blanket under a tree. Heck, he could even remember the designs on that blanket - it was one he'd known forever.

"Mom..." Ed whispered, caught up in his revere.

"Brother?" Al's voice made the snow fall apart - back into the shapeless falling sheets it had been before. Ed blinked and looked at his little brother. Al's face was concerned, but Ed smiled at him. It seemed to be reassurance enough. "I'm cold, brother," Al said. "Let's go inside, okay?" With a nod, Ed followed him in.

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"Well this is a problem," muttered Maes as he walked down the toy isle with Glacia. They'd left the boys with Maria so that they would be able to do a bit of Christmas shopping. "Al's easy to shop for," continued Maes. "He likes everything."

Glacia smiled in amusement at his frustration. "I'm sure we'll find some things for Ed as well," she said.

Maes groaned. "He likes puzzles and drawing," he said with exasperation. "Nothing he doesn't already have at the house. What are we supposed to get a kid that doesn't like toys."

Glacia sighed and shook her head. "Maes... there are plenty of things we don't have that would interest him. You just have to know where to look." She continued down the isle, and Maes followed helplessly behind her.

"I guess we could always just get him some toys anyway," he said thoughtfully. "You never know... maybe they'll grow on him after a while."

"True enough," replied Glacia, and Maes - who had been joking - looked at her in surprise. "Well, after all, it took a while for you to grow on me before I would date you, if I recall..."

Maes grinned. "But you love me now, right?" he asked, sidling up for a quick kiss. Glacia smiled.

"Without a doubt," she replied. "Now lets get started already."

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Ed Al and Maria all sat at the kitchen table. Ed and Al each had notebooks and pencils, and while Ed worked quietly on his own math problems, Maria was helping Al learn his times tables. Although Al had had a bit more difficulty with them, Ed learned much faster. His ability to look at something once and remember it astonished Maria at first, but Al hadn't been surprised at all. Hadn't he told them that Ed didn't forget things?

"This is hard!" whined Al, letting his head fall with a dramatic 'clunk' to the table.

"You learned a lot of it," said Maria. "Should we be finished for today?" Al nodded vigorously. Ed stopped writing and looked up. With a yawn he set down his pencil and closed his coil notebook. "What do you want to do now?" asked Maria, piling all of the books together.

"Let's go outside!" said Al right away. She caught Ed's face light up a bit at the suggestion, but he didn't comment.

"Better bundle up," replied Maria. "It's still snowing out."

"Okay!" Al and Ed raced each other to the door and she followed them, amused by their mock argument over who had won. They took a few minutes to get dressed for the weather, but before long the two boys headed out into the snow.

"Stay in the yard, you two!" Maria called after them. Then she went to watch from the kitchen window while she finished cleaning up after their study-session.

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Out in the snow Al set straight to work building a snow fort, and although Ed helped at first, he eventually found himself just sitting in the snow, watching it fall around him. He liked to watch the shapes and illusions he made. So he didn't know how to play with toys or invent stories or games, but he could still imagine well enough to change the flurry of snow into shapes from his past. The happy part of it. Al watched his brother gazing off into space for a few seconds, but with a shrug he returned to building the fort. It was only brother being brother, after all.

Maria watched from the window. With the distant look in his eyes as he looked out across the snowy fields, Ed looked like he was watching something. But Maria could see that there was nothing out there - no people or objects that could have caught his attention - just the snow. Yet still he stared.

"What do you see out there?" she asked out loud. He always had that look. Even in the house when he sat staring out the window. He liked to watch the snow fall, she'd decided quite a while ago, but why? "There's nothing there, Edward. So what are you looking at?"

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Ed turned to Al when his younger brother came and flumped down in the snow next to him. He glanced back over his shoulder at the half-finished fort. "Nice," he commented, and Al just grinned at the compliment. "Hey... brother?" he asked tentatively.

"Hm?" Ed asked, distracted but still listening.

"Can I ask you something?"

"What?" Ed asked again, a little more harshly. Al cringed at Ed's impatience. His brother hated it when people used roundabout ways to say something.

"Brother... why do you like Maria. I mean... like when you were angry and she made you calm down... why did you..."

"She smells like mom," Ed replied quietly. "I can't help it, I guess. Maybe they have the same perfume or something. But she smells just like mom, and..." he trailed off, turning away from Al. There was a pained expression on his face. He hated voicing things like that out loud - and Al was the only one he would ever say it to.

Al smiled though. "Oh," he replied. "Well I'm glad," he said, climbing back to his feet. Ed watched him return to his fort, still piling snow and making walls.

"Well I wish she didn't," Ed muttered quietly, knowing that Al couldn't hear him. For a moment he considered brooding over it, but he opted instead to let those thoughts slip away. It was snowing, after all, and that meant that he could see them. Ed turned back to the empty fields, swirling with snow. His eyes danced as he watched them... mom, and him and his brother... And a little house on a green hill, with pretty flowers growing along the front. He smiled at what he saw, but it was a secret he would never tell... not even Al.

It was a source of calm serenity in the chaos of their lives. And Ed grasped onto it, letting himself be carried away. If only for a little while.

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END

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Authors Note:

First of all, major apology everybody. I know that took me an extremely long time to post, and I am very VERY sorry... I hope you guys can forgive me and keep reading not that I'm back and active. I know... I've been back in Canada for a month already and I didn't get around to posting. You know, the saddest part is that I had most of this chapter already done before I even left Japan... Laziness much?

So anyway, I'm sorry if this chapter wasn't very good. It was really hard to finish it, I think because I left it so long and then came back to it to write the ending, so it was a little bit weird for me too. Hopefully you liked it... let me know what you thought. Comments are appreciated. Only two more chapters left of this fic... please R&R! I'm the kind of person who needs a little motivation, hehe.

Thankyou all for your patience!

Mistress of Darkness