BAN:// I'm not going to say anything. I have 4 chapters already written I'll post another one in a few days. I'm sorry is the most I can say, and er enjoy and comment, because commenting does make me write!!

Chapter 17- Justification

John walked out in to the hall rubbing his face tiredly, he was getting too old for this. He looked around wearily and then at his watch, going on 43 hours of no sleep, he was getting good at this.

"John!" Father Jim called to him carrying a blessedly large cup of steaming hot coffee. "Dean in there?" He asked handing the cup to his old friend, John nodded silently. Missouri came up behind though she was sporting a fragrant herbal tea that made John scrunch his nose up from the stench. A glare from the psychic made him avert his attention to other things.

"So…?" John asked cautiously trying to get one of them to talk about what had happened with Dean. He had saw the marks on his eldest son's wrists, it wasn't pretty that was all he could say about it. Missouri shook her head slowly taking a sip of her putrid smelling tea before she began.

"It was horrific John." Missouri began swirling her tea almost seeing the scenes play out in front of her in the steaming liquid. "It's been going on, at least 4 months now. I can't tell you a specific date when it started. I just know that it was ugly. Some job they were on, it a hospital I think, Sam shot Dean, he was possessed or something was going to posses him. When Dean snapped out of it he wasn't entirely happy." John looked anywhere but at his friends, his gaze un-focusing painting the pictures in his head. "Dean started getting drunk because of what had happened, he couldn't believe that Sam had actually shot him, and from what I can gather the demon just took over. At first I suppose when Dean was drunk, and then it gained more power and eventually took him over completely." Missouri summed it up in a quick nice neat packaged nutshell.

Taking a large gulp from his drink John slowly worked up the courage to ask what he could barely think. "Why…" He paused swallowing hard thinking of Mary momentarily on the ceiling staring at Sam. "Why…" Her brown eyes in pain, Sam's eyes in pain. "Why did he try…?" Fucking hell, this was hard for him to say. "Why did he try to…" He paused one final time before looking at Missouri straight on. "why did he try and kill himself?" There he said it. The heart he tried to forget he had gave a painful throb as tears threatened to fall.

Jim let out a breath he was holding, he knew how hard that was for his old friend. John was never good with words, but to say something as that… of suicide… was hard for anyone. He let his heart go out to his friend, willing him to stay strong.

"That I don't know. I know only when he did it. Dean taunted him, forced him to do it. The demon was going to gain something from it. I don't know what, but what ever reason, the demons purpose was to torture Sam enough, to get him to kill himself." John with pent up anger threw his Styrofoam cup against the wall coffee spilling over the walls and onto the floor. Before it finished falling John had spun and was pounding his fist into the opposite wall as hard as he could. The tears fell down his cheeks angrily he wiped them away.

"Why!" He yelled in anger. "Why my boys? They've been through enough. God damnit I swear to god when I find it I'll kill it. I'll bring it back to life, and I'll kill it." John yelled his hand bleeding from the continuous beating of the wall.

Jim and Missouri watched helplessly as they watched the oldest Winchester breaking down. There was much that the hard man could handle, he could be a downright bastard. But truthfully when his sons came into harms way, there was only so much he could take. What few remembered sometimes, was that he was in fact the boys Father. He still had parental instincts, and feelings, he tried to hide them yes, but when Mary died he got hers too it would seem at times. At this moment, he was feeling it for the both of them.

John fell back against the wall, sliding down and collapsing on the floor. There was too much to take in. It was unimaginable that Dean would do this, he knew of course that it hadn't really been Dean, the over protective Dean that they had all known and loved. What little he had heard from now Missouri and what Sam had mumbled off an on he could put together a foggy image of the pain… the torture and agony of what Sam had gone through.