Combustion

Well I was so hyped up after I wrote chapter 2 that I just had to keep going. So many ideas that demanded to be written.

I just love this pairing so much now :)

Thanks so much again to the people who reviewed chapter 2. I'm glad people like the way I took it.

Chapter 3

The trees at the edge of the clearing had not moved in almost two hours now, but Sam continued to stare at them with an intensity that didn't suit the uninteresting nature of his subject. He thought he could almost tell how many trees of each species there were after so long watching them, and if it wasn't for the almost "Blair Witch" like aspect of the whole place he might have charged in just for the sake of doing something. The muscles in his legs ached now, protesting the non-stop back and forth motion of his pacing over the rough gravel and earth, but he had nowhere to sit, and if he sat he'd only have more energy to devote to thinking. An activity which was definitely not something he wanted to do at the moment.

"Sam?" The voice seemed to come from nowhere, causing him to start like a rabbit. It was a sign of how distracted and out of it he really was that he had somehow managed to entirely miss Mikaela arriving at the overlook. He hadn't heard her car engine, the door opening and closing, or her footsteps across the gravel and grass, and the headlights that shone into his face only now began to register. His eyes, along with the rest of his senses, had been totally focussed on the far end of the plateau. The last place he'd seen Bumblebee as he left to track down Optimus Prime.

Now that he'd had time to think on it, he didn't know why the other bot hadn't simply called his commander and asked him to come to them, but B hadn't been very talkative since they'd left the racetrack behind. Of course he hadn't been either, not knowing what to say to something he didn't really understand. So he had quietly nodded as his car explained where he was going, then transformed into his robot form and headed off into the wilderness. He'd thought he'd be fine, he was only a few miles from town and he had his cell, he was hardly abandoned in nowhere's land. Yet it had only been ten agonizing minutes later that he'd felt the loneliness set in, an unpleasant sensation reminding him that since Bumblebee had come into his life he hadn't actually ever been alone. His companion and protector had always been parked outside, or waiting in the driveway, he'd always just been there when he was needed. The feel of B's hand gently cradling him after his fall from Optimus's shoulder still brought a smile to his face. It wasn't a dedication and commitment that one found easily amongst other people.

People were busy, people were biological, people were fickle. They had lives to lead, people to see, friends to visit, work to do, families to be there for… a world of their own to inhabit. With B it was different. With B it felt like Sam was his world. He'd shivered at that realisation, starting to pace as the tears trailed salty tracks down his cheeks, arms wrapping around himself to ward off a chill that had nothing to do with the weather.

He'd continued that routine for over an hour, twenty steps this way, turn, twenty steps that way, turn… While around him the sun had crept closer and closer to the horizon. It hadn't been until he'd seen the streetlights flicker on in the valley below him that he had realised exactly how low the sun had gone. His watch agreed with the red sky above, and he desperately strained to hear a sign of anything that might have been two large alien robots returning through the woods. Nothing but silence and the occasional bird call reached his ears however, so, with mounting anxiety, he had eventually caved in, and with shaking fingers dialled Mikaela's number on his cell.

It was evidence of how much of a friend she was, or perhaps how much they had been through recently, that she hadn't asked a single question about 'why' when she'd answered the phone. She'd stayed on the line only long enough to make sure that he wasn't in any immediate danger, and then to ask where he was and tell him she'd be there in fifteen minutes. He'd thanked her with a sense of relief that seemed incongruous with the fact that he knew they were fated to break up, and then promptly gone back to his pacing, reduced now to more of a pathetic shuffle. Around him the setting was beautiful. The clearing at the top of the overlook was bathed in an orange/gold light, as the blazing ball of the sun continued its descent behind the horizon. A light breeze stirred the treetops, bringing not quite a chill yet, but taking the comfortable edge off the warmth of the day. All of it was lost on Sam however, and to his unfocussed thoughts it didn't seem at all like fifteen minutes later when Mikaela's soft voice pulled his attention away from the foliage.

She was looking stunning in the golden light, a long brown jacket hugging her from neck to knee over a short denim skirt and low cut top. It was the sort of vision that a couple of months ago would have had him drooling, but now the sight only reminded him of what he should be worrying over; girls and school. Instead he was half panicking about his missing robot companion, who he hadn't realised until now was such a large part of his life.

Something about his stance must have told her that he was on edge, and she held her arms open, allowing him to step in and wrap him in a hug. The pressure of her arms enfolding him and her breasts resting against his chest caused as little reaction as the sight of her in those fantastic clothes. He tried, really tried, to coax some sort of response from himself, willing his face to blush or his pulse to quicken, but instead her warmth only made him uncomfortable. It was another of the nails into his already pretty much sealed coffin, and he sighed against her neck, one tear leaving a spot on the brown faux fur collar.

"It's ok Sam. Whatever's happened we can sort it out." Her soothing voice was beside his ear, one of her hands rubbing in a calming motion up and down his back. It didn't work like it was supposed to, the motion felt like a pale imitation of real sensation after what he and Bumblebee had experienced earlier. It only left him more awkward and alone. He stepped away from her, breaking the circle of her hug and letting her arms drop to her sides. She was looking at him intently, obviously trying to figure out what she could do to help him through whatever was happening. His eyes couldn't quite meet hers as he went to speak, but his mouth paused half open, stumbling over exactly how to phrase what he needed to say.

"Kaela, you know we're, well, great friends…" He stopped, realising exactly how much he sounded like a character in a bad teenager chick flick. He didn't want this to be a scene, he wanted to let her know that she meant a lot to him, and always would. They'd fought an intergalactic war together, and with his reputation as a bit of a loser at school, she was probably the best friend he'd ever had. He had no idea how he could possibly tell her what was happening when he wasn't even sure himself. His eyes flicked again to the tree line, how would one even carry on a relationship with a machine? Let alone one that was thirty feet tall. Did Autobots even feel emotions like humans?

"Something happened with Bumblebee." It had not been him that said it, the admission coming from Mikaela instead. He desperately searched her words for any sign of scorn or disgust, fearing she would abandon their friendship for what had happened. Her voice had been perfectly level however, without anger, and, he just noticed, not a question. His cheeks flushed with colour and he stared determinedly at her boots, embarrassment flooding through him that somehow it must have been obvious to everyone else.

"You knew?" Her breath gusted across his downturned face as she let out a sigh.

"I knew. Not at the start, maybe, but after B was caught, and when he was injured, I started to wonder." He looked quickly at her face, seeing only sympathy there, and then off to the side where the tree's still mocked him with their silence.

"Was it really that obvious?" He dreaded the answer, somehow wanting to believe that he had not been secretly pining over his car for months.

"Not obvious, no, but definitely there." She gently touched his arm, turning him around and guiding him towards the tailgate of her truck where they could sit down. She snuggled up beside him, slipping an arm around his waist.

"You always wanted to spend time with him, even over me, despite the fact that we were meant to be dating. I was a little pissed to start off with, but it all started coming together for me after that." She laughed a little, the sound surprisingly light hearted for what, to him, was a life shattering moment.

"Especially when Bumblebee started behaving the same way towards you." He looked at her then in surprise, her face barely a hairs breadth away, seeing the amusement she was clearly feeling dancing in her eyes.

"He did?" She really laughed then, rolling her eyes at him and tilting her head to the side.

"Of course he did. God it was like being a third wheel everytime I was with you guys. You don't remember the way he always wanted it to just be the two of you? The activities he suddenly wanted to do when we'd already made plans?" It seemed obvious when someone outside pointed them out to you, but on their own each little incident had been unremarkable. So what if Bumblebee had arranged a trip the weekend he was supposed to take Mikaela camping? That had been an accident. And the drive in movie B had wanted to take him to see? Well that had been a one night only event, a premiere; it had nothing to do with he and Mikaela going out for dinner. He'd fallen asleep during the movie anyway, what was there to read into that? Although…

"Was it the drive in?" She nodded, and he felt the blush rise again as he remembered that night. They'd been there to see some new Sandra Bullock film. B had somehow convinced him to go, in spite of the fact that a) he'd had plans with Mikaela, and b) it was a chick flick with Sandra Bullock in it. They'd had a great time for the first half of the movie, laughing at the acting, pointing out the plot holes, and cringing at the romantic trash that flew from the hero's mouth. By about three quarters of the way through he'd been getting increasingly tired, not helped by the way B gradually reclined the seat and adjusted the AC to just the temperature he liked to sleep at. He hadn't lasted to see whether the two leads had made it work together or not, curling up on the warm seat and eventually drifting off.

When he'd gradually stirred the next morning the radio had been set to something soothing and classical, the AC working to fight the morning sun shining on the glass. He'd been so warm and comfortable that he'd just about gone back to sleep, when a sharp knocking on the windscreen had brought him irrevocably to consciousness. Mikaela had been standing outside, Sam's house behind her, staring at him, pointing to her watch and attempting to open the door. It had stayed firmly unmoved by her attempts. At some point during the night he had obviously shifted, and he was draped across the centre console, head resting on his arm as a pillow, the arm itself curled around B's gear shift. His legs were stretched out in the footwell, the pedals and steering wheel lifted up and away from where he might accidentally have hit himself against them.

How had he not seen this whole thing coming? Because nothing Bumblebee had ever done had been beyond what a friend might do in the same situation, ok, admittedly a very possessive friend, but it didn't seem like that big a deal.

"Is there something wrong with me? With this?" His voice was cowed and his shoulders hunched a little, as he'd used to whenever he was anticipating a blow from one of the bullies at school. Since the whole Mikaela and being involved with the "terrorist" activities had happened he hadn't had to worry about it as much, but old habits were hard to break out of. Instead of the blow however, her hand gently cupped his chin and tilted it upwards so she could see his face.

"Not at all Sam. You don't need to explain your feelings. Not to me and not to anyone." She ran her hand down his cheek and smiled at him, resting her head on his shoulder and looking out at the last crescent of the disappearing sun.

"Emotions are something that are beyond our control. You can no more make yourself love someone than you can make yourself stop breathing. It's a part of who you are." Their legs were dangling in the air beneath them, and Mikaela gave him a gentle squeeze. He squirmed a little, suddenly feeling awkward around her, as he had when they'd first met.

"But do I?" He looked at her in desperation, both hoping for and dreading the answer. He couldn't see clearly enough to tell anymore. The boundaries between friendship and love were as close as those between love and hate, all three forming a link that seemed a little too fluid for his liking at the moment. How easy would it be to just start hating Bumblebee for what had almost happened, whatever that was, or to just give in and live with the consequences.

She looked at him in confusion.

"Do you what? Love him?" He cringed and blushed at the same time, his lips grimacing slightly as he again looked away from her. He was really starting to hate that word. It conjured up images of roses and chocolates, of nights curled up with a movie before heading to the bedroom, and of waking up together, wrapped in each others arms under the comforter. He couldn't have any of that with B, couldn't even really be with him at all. It was a sobering and depressing thought.

"Yeah. Do I…?" It was barely a whisper, yet filled with the weight of the world to his own ears.

"Only you can answer that Sam. I know you'd like me to just tell you yes or no, but I can't." Slowly, he nodded, understanding what she was saying, but not liking it anymore because of that. This wasn't like a crush on someone that would either turn into something more or fizzle away, this was serious, and definitely life changing. Saying that your feelings couldn't be wrong was one thing, but this was completely different…

"Something happened Kaela. On the track today. Between us." His voice was still a husky murmur, choked somewhat by his attempt to swallow down his tears at the same time. He watched their legs swinging back and forth in the air, a foot clear of the ground. The sight made him feel like a little kid again, unable to touch the floor from the dining room chair, needing someone else to help with the problem.

"It was… alien… nothing like anything I've ever heard of before. I can't possibly explain it, but…" He paused, shivering and wrapping his arms around himself, his voice getting even quieter, "it scared me." The sun was gone from the sky now, the final glow fading at an increasing rate, suiting his mood perfectly.

"It was like, being able to experience someone so completely that you feel you know everything there is to know. Yet every moment that passes still brings something new." He shivered again, Mikaela drawing him closer to her for warmth.

"But at the same time it was like I was fading away, you know? As though Sam Witwicky was disappearing and being replaced with something else." He sniffled like a child.

"I thought I was dying, but, I didn't want it to stop." He wiped a tear away, looking down at her head on his shoulder from the corner of his eye.

"You can't imagine what it feels like to know that what's happening to you will kill you, and yet feel happy about it at the same time." This time it was her that shivered at his words, a disturbed expression on her face.

"I don't know if Bumblebee meant for it to happen, or even if he knew what it was anymore than I did, but, I do know sometimes you have to understand there's a difference between what you want, and what you can't have. I think," He took a breath to steady himself, "I love B, Kaela, more strongly than anything I've ever felt for anyone ever before, but…" He didn't know how to put it into words after that. Didn't know how to tell her that what he felt was so overwhelming that life beside it seemed inconsequencial, and that more and more he realised he would die a million times over to feel what they had together again. Speech, one of the evolutionary pinnacles of mankind, suddenly seemed like such a pathetically insufficient method of communication.

"I'm scared." And he was. A terror so chilling and deep, that it seemed it might have gone so far in that it would never come out. It made the fleeting fear of parents, school, even megatron pale by comparison. He was scared of B, but more than that he was terrified of himself, knowing that there would come a point when it was all too much, and Sam Witwicky would give in.

The last of the sunlight vanished from the sky then, leaving only star filled eternity above them. The glow of the taillights painted the ground and the trees in a red glow and Mikaela wrapped both her arms around him. He didn't know whether she truly understood what he was trying to say, or even if he understood himself, but it seemed that Bumblebee was going to be a while, and that meant his answers would be a while also.

"We'll fix it Sam. I promise." He nodded against her hair, eyes going back to search out the spot his partner had disappeared. Night had thrown everything into a different perspective however, and though he looked and looked, the location wouldn't come to him.

Sitting there under the billions of stars, on the cold metal tailgate and feeling the slight chill of the wind against his skin, he couldn't imagine ever being more alone.

Fin

Ok, I know most people were keen to get to Optimus and maybe some explanations (assuming Optimus has any to give ;)

But I wanted a little me time for Sam.