Combustion
Wow… I'm still amazed at the number of reviews each of these chapters gets. In case you're not aware (though you should be if you read these notes) I'm in Australia, so that explains why my chapters appear at odd times. It's also great cos when I post my chapters at around midnight our time, it's actually like 16 hours earlier in the US (bout 8am on the same day), meaning that by the time I wake up in the morning for work at 8am it's 4pm the previous day for you guys (or most of you) and I've got heaps of reviews piled up to read. What a great way to start the morning.
If I drank coffee I'd be able to give it up and get my boost from the reviews :)
Couple of thanks again to the usual suspects
DANIA, I got your short little review saying you'd review later but you'll just have to review both chapters now lol ;) if worthy of course!
MORGAN, as always a pleasure talking to you. As I said when I messaged you I hadn't realised you actually wrote 3 of the stories in this fandom that I really love. If you guys haven't read them do so now:) And update soon! Don't make me stop writing to force you ;) lol
DEMARCOS. Another good one :) thank you. And how white bread am I, that I didn't recognise an Eminem song (seriously I haven't heard a thing of his since Without Me… I guess I got over the hype of listening to the 'forbidden music'!) Thank you for the comment about my style of writing. It was always one of my biggest talents and also a flaw :) It's great cos I can be really descriptive which enables me to take something as simple as say, someone falling off a bike, and turn it into a couple of paragraphs of imagery, but it also annoys a lot of people who find it too flowery :) like my 11th grade English teacher who used to hate having to wade through my reports and creative writing assignments!
I also wanted to thank the following people: Empress Satori, Rikunights (no need to apologise for not writing a huge review :) it's not a requirement), Forbidden Secrets (for letting me know that one of the sad stories I referenced in the last chapter was her fic 'Sometimes'! Sorry!) Angle1 (I just have to ask – are you really pointy? Or was Angel just already taken as an ID:)
Ok, I'm glad people didn't find the previous chapter too boring. I tried to put some action and drama into it to spice up the plot exposition that had to occur and I'm glad everyone thought it worked out! Thanks guys, you're all fantastic!
Chapter 7 (Lucky 7's! Everone wins!)
Ratchet's laser scalpel sliced cleanly through the ruined panels which were still attached to his frame, with their usual surgical precision, while behind them his replicator array began crafting their replacements. It was a familiar procedure, one repeated a thousand times after a thousand battles, now for the first time used to repair damage that was self inflicted. It was the unfamiliar silence that made the whole situation so unusual though, only the sound of the recycling beam that reduced his wreckage to component parts was audible in the dusty, abandoned warehouse they were occupying.
It had been an uncomfortable moment for everyone, that first instant when Bumblebee had seen the red and blue cab of Optimus entering the car park with the yellow emergency vehicle following behind. The third vehicle was that of the Witwicky's, the two pale faces within filling him with well deserved, though unrepentant guilt that shamed him to silence. There had been no conversation from any of the new arrivals either, Prime and Sam's parents entering the section labelled 'Day Parking' and not looked back at him again. The two older humans had headed straight into the building, carefully dodging the wreckage that still littered the main entry, passing by a group of security officers who were in the process of roping off the damaged section. Three floors up, the source of their concern was apparent, as the huge Caduceus symbol, previous affixed firmly to the building's side, now dangled loosely from its supports.
His scanners were gone until Ratchet replaced them, but he had not needed their sensors to inform him that both of his older team mates were taking in the ruined façade of the building, no doubt already calculating the speed and angle of his impact, as well as the likelihood this could be explained away to both the local authorities, and the ever watchful eye of a grateful yet suspicious government. The disappointment could almost be felt like a palpable wave rolling off Prime towards him.
He wanted to try and explain, needed both of them, but most importantly Optimus, to understand why he had acted the way he had. His message had told them of course, but his report now seemed insufficient, as though, looking back at it now, his actions were nonsensical and out of proportion to the danger. He knew Prime had never bonded, though as old as he was, he no doubt was aware of everything about it, and Ratchet had been alone for as long as he'd known him. They had been fighting the war for so long now that it seemed everyone had forgotten how to live a life that wasn't about the battle. So he knew for a fact that no one had ever bound themselves to one who wasn't as they were; someone of a different species entirely, and organic on top of that. There had been no precedent, nothing to trigger a warning in his processors. He hadn't known it would hurt his human, hadn't known this action would be necessary.
He had not said it though. He had sat there silently as Ratchet told him another tow truck would be arriving shortly to take him away, that he was to go without resisting. He hadn't said a word to them, because he was sure that even as he'd said it, they would have known it was a lie. He was in love with Sam, they were meant to be together, every computational analysis he ran told him the same thing, his spark sang at the very knowledge of it. And Sam had finally been ready to acknowledge it too. Even had they both known the binding would send the young boy to the hospital, he would have still wanted to do it anyway. Seven months was short enough, even more so to his systems than to a human, without waiting until the very end.
And so now he sat there, half humanoid form, half car, as Ratchet's repair systems went to work on him. He had been unable to complete the transformation when the tow truck had first dropped him at the dilapidated building, forced to wait in this humiliating position as his millions of parts were checked and double checked before being repaired or replaced. The ritual wasn't as soothing as it usually was. Instead, each new system activation, created in him a need to get back to the hospital and relieve their leader, to take back the duty that was now rightfully his.
"He has always looked at you as one of these organic parents views their offspring." The cybertronian words echoed up and down the expansive space, breaking the silent tension between them, dust shaking loose at the vibration of the air. Bumblebee managed to swivel his head to look at the large bot standing above him, no expression on Ratchet's face or in his actions, just the continuing repair efforts.
"He is not disappointed in you. It is more that he is saddened." The laser hit something as it travelled across the wreckage that had previously been his trunk, releasing something caught there with a snap, and allowing him to complete his change to his normal form, minus the majority of one leg and numerous other pieces. Ratchet emitted a small chuckle, yet another legacy of their lengthening time on Earth, before the fabrication unit began crafting the parts required to repair his missing limb.
"It seems I need to start keeping some of your legs in reserve." Bumblebee looked away again in embarrassment, knowing the older bot hadn't been maligning his efforts in battle, only attempting to, as the human expression went, 'lighten the mood'.
"Why have I saddened him?" His voice snapped and faded in and out, the frantic flight through the city loosening his already unreliable vocal modulator.
"Because the Bumblebee he has come to know will shortly be gone, as surely as if he had fallen in battle where I could not repair him." The fabricator finished with one of the components for his new leg and one of Ratchet's hands carefully held it in place as the laser began to work on it.
"I'm not going anywhere." A second piece emerged, ready for attachment just as the laser secured the first.
"Perhaps. But you are no longer an Autobot." Bumblebee jerked as though he'd been struck, his missing leg twitching as well, knocking the component out of the other yellow bot's hand where it hit the ground with a loud clang and rolled several feet away. Ratchet sighed as he turned to pick it up, Bumblebee sitting up straighter and meeting his eyes.
"Not an Autobot? Prime plans to remove me from the team?" There was a pause as Ratchet examined the part he had just dropped, before judging it still worthy for fitting.
"There is no plan here Bumblebee, he is offered no choice. The allspark is destroyed now; the war is entering a new phase. The stalemate that has existed for thousands of years between Optimus and Megatron is over. This will become a vicious war; battles the likes of which have not been seen since cybertron was destroyed are no doubt already occurring across the galaxy." Something was different about the older autobot as he spoke of the war and the upcoming struggle, something that, even though the concept of age was not relevant to them, reminded Bumblebee of a very world weary and aged man. One who had seen and done and experienced so much that little could impact on him anymore. One who spent so much time repairing and replacing damaged parts that he could no longer even understand his own motivation for carrying on. It was a side he had not really seen before, and made him question how truly immune even they were to time's steady flow.
"There is nothing left to win now, the allspark is no longer the prize to be plotted and schemed over. Now is the time to strike out, kill or be killed, until only one side will be left standing.", The last piece of his leg slid gently into place as the laser made a final pass, Ratchet's hands as steady and reliable today as they were a thousand years ago, as they would be the day he went offline. Hands that were already moving on to his armour plating, preparing to secure it as good as new, the fabricator already turning out the yellow tinted panels.
"You have now become an unreliable element within Optimus system Bumblebee. That is why he must remove you from the team. Not because he wishes it. He can't afford to keep you on when each mission could determine the fate of our entire civilisation." The words hurt him as the streetlamp and collision with the human hospital had not, his head turning away to hide the burn that lit up his eyes.
"He does not trust me." The shoulder plate Ratchet was working on slipped into place a little more firmly than was necessary, jolting him like a small slap on the wrist.
"He trusts you as he trusts any of us. But he cannot rely on you. There is a difference." Bumblebee crossed his arms in anger, yet another human gesture he had absorbed into his database. Had they always so completely transformed themselves for each species or race they encountered?
"Why can he no longer rely on me? He knows I would always willingly be there to watch his back, as I would for all of you." The beam from the recycling unit turned its attention to a large piece of rusted machinery nearby as it ran out of the parts already stripped off him to breakdown, reforming the corroded iron and steel into the nearly impenetrable skin he required.
"Once, yes you would have. But you spark bound yourself to the boy." Bumblebee bristled at Ratchet's description of his human as 'the boy' but stayed silent under the bot's ministrations.
"The bond does not allow for second priorities, or for questions of loyalty. Your allegiance is now to it, and through it, to him, a human. And sometime in the future you will be faced with a decision, a decision that is not really a decision at all, as your choice was already made when you accepted the joining. You will do what is necessary to protect your bound, just as you did it today. Optimus cannot have a warrior on the battlefield who might abandon his post or mission if his bond mate calls. There are no spark bound serving in the ranks of either side. It is a random equation that probability assessments cannot factor in, a faulty component in a critical system." The last plate thumped into place with a sweep of the laser, his repair complete. The medic stepped back, extending a hand to help the younger one up, his repair assemblies folding away into his body.
"And like any malfunctioning part it must be discarded." Bumblebee wanted to argue with him, to demand that he take it back, that he would never in a million years wish to disappoint the Autobots. But just as he'd known it would be a lie to say he wouldn't have done exactly as he had earlier, he knew it would be a lie to say he could be any different now. His programming no longer allowed for a decision that would negatively affect his human, the ability to write that code erased forever from his system. He would have given the allspark itself to Megatron if he had threatened Sam with harm.
He had changed.
Ratchet seemed to sense as he ran the probabilities through his processor, nodding when their optics met.
"You see then why you cannot stay as an active member of the team." He wasn't asking and Bumblebee didn't need to respond. He understood.
"Perhaps when Sam has shutdown you will rejoin us. We will always need good soldiers, and you will have a lot of grief to expel. I know what losing a spark mate can do." And there it was; the tiny flicker of sympathy and understanding that had been there since he had chosen Sam after the final battle, since before even he had known what was going on between them, that tiny flicker every time Ratchet had seen the two of them together.
"When?" The simplicity of the word was overshadowed by the breadth and depth of what it was asking.
"Long ago Bumblebee, long before the war, even before we became an empire and set out for other worlds." And the opportunity to ask was there.
"Will I recover?" It had gnawed at him since Optimus talk, since he had been forced to realise just how soon this binding would end. He didn't need to specify what from for the other bot, Sam's death, whether sooner or later, was a factor that went without saying. There was no response for a long time, as the two of them stood there. The sunlight was creeping lower in the sky, casting its light more from the side than above, the holes in the rusted roof throwing small shafts of light across them, particles of dust dancing in the air. Ratchet wasn't looking at him anymore, face centred in one of the glowing beams, optics focused on the burning orb that brought life to this world. His voice was substantially softer, at least for him, when he finally spoke.
"Perhaps, in one way or another, you will recover. It will take a long time, possibly millennia, and you will never be what you were. There will still never be a moment where you don't think of them, don't run some memory past your processor, some smell, some sound, some scan, and you will do almost anything to stop the pain that comes with it. Some have become soldiers, throwing themselves where the fighting is thickest, every second they spend fighting for survival, one where they cannot calculate for anything but the moment." The shaft of sunlight that bathed the larger Autobot disappeared, blocked either by a cloud or some obstruction of the building, but Bumblebee barely noticed anything but the medic.
"I've seen others who cannot handle the reality and who become little more than statues, their processors and databanks rerunning their time together over and over until they eventually shutdown, usually unwilling or unable to pull themselves from the memories." He shuddered as he said that and Bumblebee was tempted to do the same, mind filled with images of himself trapped forever in a loop, reliving the time he had with Sam over and over until his body no longer knew how to move or do anything but remember.
"And then there are those who cannot face any prospect of the universe without their bonded. Who fly into a frenzy of self destruction that makes your flight to the hospital this afternoon, look like a paint chip by comparison. Searching for anything and everything that will cause it to end, the heart of a star, the live end of a proton cannon. There is little one will not consider, when the pain of living is beyond anything you could possibly inflict on yourself." The large hand raised and closed over his shoulder as Optimus had done just last night, but this time the gesture carried more than just sympathy, it carried an understanding. An understanding that could only come from one who knew exactly what was going to happen to him.
"We began life as simple machines Bumblebee, our programming seeks permanence, a constancy in everything we do. Our systems rely on us being the same one second as we will be the next. Without that we cannot function. It is a great strength, and also a great weakness. Humans are the opposite. They seek change, upheaval, progress. They have built for themselves what was given to us by the allspark. Regardless of how this war amongst ourselves is resolved, the future already no longer belongs to us. As the last of us is lost to the cold grip of eternity, it will be the organic species like humans who we will bequeath our legacy to." There was a quiet acceptance about the older bot. As though he had questioned all of this many times already in the past and was merely repeating it for a new audience. It was an acknowledgement of one who has foreseen the death of his entire race, and rather than struggle against it, has committed himself instead to ensuring the legacy they left, was worthy of being remembered.
"And what of Sam? What is his future?" There was little hope within him that Ratchet would be able to assist him. He had seen the results of the scan at the hospital, heard Optimus admit as much last night, but he wouldn't allow himself to stop desperately searching. When the other's optics swivelled toward him and the hand released his shoulder he slumped, feeling his joints go slack and loose, processor frantically trying to deny what he knew was coming.
"I'm sorry Bumblebee. There is little that can be done. Spark energy is simply too powerful for a biological species to contain. He has the energy needed to sustain Megatron within him, he cannot survive it. Perhaps if we could create another spark we may have been able to remove the force from him, but that possibility is dead. Along with the allspark and our race." His own spark shrieked at the confirmation of his worst fear, searching every bit of data at his disposal for even a brief glimmer of a probability that led to survival. He swore he would do anything, ruled nothing out of his computations, giving the processors free reign to come up with any assessment they could produce.
But he could not calculate one.
He spun away from his companion, fist burying itself in the reinforced concrete of the building's foundation, throwing even more dust and debris into the structure interior. Ratchet crouched beside him, carefully pulling his arm free from the floor and running his repair laser over the damaged joints. Normally he would have had some chastisement for someone foolish enough to break their fist on cement, but he said nothing about it.
"Don't think about it Bumblebee. Don't think about what is coming. Don't think about how it will happen or when. Don't think about what life will be like after it. Don't think about anything but what you can do with the time you have left. That is the memory that will define you, even as everything else around you fades." The repair beam finished its work and Ratchet placed his hand upon the younger one's head, almost like a human benediction, and then he was transforming, the emergency vehicle accelerating out of the cavernous doors and into the sunlight, leaving him alone and broken on the floor.
He knew he should go back to the hospital car park, return to watching over his bonded. In fact his spark insisted on it, wanting to claim every last second together they had, even if that second had to be while Sam was unconscious and unreachable, several hundred feet away. But he paused and rewound his computations as a small percentile appeared for one of the probability assessments still running. Something Ratchet had said. Something that triggered a hope, which triggered a theory, which triggered a calculation, which resulted in success. Admittedly the number was frighteningly low, a chance no sane commander would accept, but as had just been pointed out, there was nothing he would not do to secure the safety of his bonded.
And as he reviewed the scenario, recalculating a few details to try and adjust the odds of it reaching fruition, he understood exactly why Optimus would remove him from the team. He comprehended now, everything that Ratchet had just said to him about his loyalties and where they would now lie. The truth was bitter, but also liberating, the ability to give his processors free reign, with the knowledge that there was no right and wrong in the world, only what had to be done to protect their link. The knowledge that doing that made it right.
Everything he had sworn he would never do, every truth he had thought to be self evident, disappeared at the appearance of that tiny chance that offered him salvation for his bonded.
There was no hesitation as he activated his communications systems, waiting precious moments before feeling the connection.
"What is the meaning of this!?" Bumblebee didn't respond to the question, not interested in anything the other had to say that didn't concern his human.
"Shut off your vocal processor for a nano-second and listen Starscream. I have a deal that I think can help both of us."
Fin
Ok, ok. How many of you saw it coming… Be honest now :) I'd like to think I'm a bit original. But then I'm sure the makers of the movie Apollo 13 thought they were being original too – COME ON PEOPLE! We know it got back. It's history:)