Possession - Chapter 14

The sound of the jar shattering against the tile floors resonated inside of me and at once I felt something being ripped from me. The sudden loss of Hao's spirit left me dizzy and breathless and made my eyes tear up.

I looked up dazedly to where Hao's spirit was hovering a moment before as if expecting him to still be there only see there was no one there now. I then gazed down at my hands and the shards on the floor. It took me a moment to realize what I was looking at but then my knees gave out and I dropped to them miraculously missing the sharpest pieces.

By now the nurse had brought others and they were beginning to bang viciously on the door but I ignored that. I wasn't even aware I had begun to cry until I felt moisture on my clenched fists.

Mother, Father, forgive me I wailed inside my head while bawling like a baby.

I had no idea how long I stayed like that, but I remained that way until Yoh finally broke through my awareness.

"Lyserg? Are you there?" he asked tentatively and I could tell from his tone that he and the other people in the room had already made several attempts to talk to me.

"Yoh?" I croaked. My throat felt like I'd tried to cough up nails while I was crying.

My friend looked at me with a sad expression. "Why didn't you wait for us? Why didn't you let us say goodbye?" he asked which made me take better notice of the room's occupants. None of the guys were there. Instead it was Yoh, his parents, grandparents and Anna.

Regardless of what Hao had put all of them through they still saw him as a family member and it broke my heart to see them grieving for him again.

Clearing my throat and hastily wiping my nose -which had been running down my face- with the back of my hand I shook my head at Yoh. "You don't understand Yoh." I whispered harshly to him and opened my clenched fists at him.

Lying in my right hand was a piece of the binding sutra that would trap Hao's spirit. In my left hand was the whole banishment charm with the exception of a small corner.

"I- I couldn't do it!" I stuttered and started sobbing again. Unfortunately in that state I couldn't explain to them how I couldn't stop my hands from trying to snatch the jar back as it began to fall. Instead I just kept muttering "I tried but I couldn't" brokenly over and over. Eventually Yoh's mother replaced him and she grabbed me in a hug. I don't know what surprised me more, that she travelled this far away from her temple, that she whispered 'thank you' in my ear or that she was hugging me. Either way it snapped me out of the bulk of my stupor enough for me to stand up.

"I should go." Said gazing blearily around the room.

"Are you sure?" Yoh asked. "Are you sure you don't have anything you want to say to him?"

I looked at Yoh like he had taken complete leave of his senses. It was then I realized he knew. He knew what it had taken me almost killing Hao to figure out.

I cared for him. Hell, in my own stupid way I was probably even falling for him. The guy was a twisted, abusive, egomaniac jerk and I for some unbelievable reason had feelings for him. Well, I've always had feelings for him but these new ones had nothing to do with hate or the need for revenge.

I couldn't even begin to comprehend how sick and pathetic I was. Hell, people would have to remake the scale to measure how sick and pathetic I really was.

I gave the comatose patient in the bed one last look. He certainly didn't look any better now that his soul was returned. "No, he's your family. I'm sure you know how best to deal with him." I mumbled and fled the room before I could say or do anything else.

Why the hell was here?

I let that question circle my brain for the billionth time while butterflies the size of buffalos jittered around in my stomach. I stood there looking up at The Funbari Inn so nervous that I was visibly shaking.

Ever since I left Hao's hospital room eight months ago I've been continuously on the move. Running from what exactly I don't know. Probably this moment right here.

Over the past few months I had been steadily travelling east wards. I travelled most of Europe moving to Africa then India avoiding anyone having anything close to shaman powers. When I passed through China the Tao's were scattered liberally across my path. I had no idea there were so many Taos. It took most of my skill and ingenuity to avoid them. If it weren't for all of them wearing their hair in that ridiculous point (don't tell Ren I said that okay?) I would have had a great deal of trouble spotting them.

After that experience, I gave Horo's home a wide berth. Neither Ren nor Horo were home of course which is lucky, because I would never have been able to dodge someone of their strength as easily as I did the others. I already knew the pair was in Australia according to the last sports broadcast I saw about them. I also saw that there was some recent speculation on the nature of their relationship and if it was all business.

I couldn't help but smile about that. Go Horo. I knew you could do it. I wonder if they are lovers yet or if they're still in the early dating and experimentation phase?

Thinking about them got me to thinking about my own lover and my smile immediately left. How could he still have so much pull on me? I haven't seen or heard from him in months, yet I still thought about him constantly.

There were times when I would lie in bed and I'd want him so much my whole body ached with my need. Other times I'd be curled in a ball as if I was trying to hide from the shame of wanting him.

So that brings me to here. The last place on earth I wanted to be. Well except for the Asakura temple because I was sure that Hao was there under the care and watch of his family.

Giving myself a shake, No, I'm just going to stop in and say hello. Ask how Hao… ask how everyone is doing then leave. Good. Calm. Cool. Controlled. Deep breath, smile. Remember my life is good, I'm happy.

"You're never going to get to see anyone if you stand out here all day." Ryu said from behind me.

"Gah!" I screamed nearly jumping out of my skin. "Ryu! Don't sneak up on me like that!"

Ryu raised an eyebrow at me "Are you sure? The way I hear it you are quite fond of sneaking."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked casually, knowing he probably meant my unwillingness to talk to the Tao clan or the Ainu tribe. Instead of answering his expression took on a fanatical gleam.

"Oh! Where are my manners?" he shrieked. "I must introduce you to someone special!" he reached behind him and yanked some poor person to him.

"Lyserg! I want you to meet my girlfriend. Tao Mei Lan." He announced. But the way he said girlfriend was like someone introducing a God. Poor Ryu, he was going to scare the girl off with that kind of scary adoration and clinginess.

Wait, did he say Tao?

Looking closer I saw a rather striking young woman with her hair pinned in classic Tao fashion. Odder still was that she didn't seem adverse to the intensity of Ryu's affection. If anything she seemed to be as cold and emotionally obtuse as Ren and the rest of the Taos. It probably took all of Ryu's intensity just for her to see that the man was interested.

Now I felt like an intruder on their private time.

"Is Yoh in?" I asked nodding in the direction of the house.

Ryu grimaced at me not happy that I didn't want to stand there and listen to spout the praises of his girlfriend all day long. "Yes. He should be in the kitchen right about now since it is his turn to cook dinner." I muttered my thanks and offered a small bow to Mei Lan before jogging towards the house.

At the door, I tried knocking, but no one answered. Then I remembered the kitchen was at the back of the house and if Yoh had his headphones on there was no way he would hear me so I boldly let myself in and made my way to the kitchen.

Sure enough, Yoh was there trying to convince the rice cooker to not explode on him. "No! Stop you stupid machine! What is with these things that they don't work?" he yelled to it and himself while rice just continued to spew forth from it like a fountain.

I laughed at the sight some things never change. After all this time he still hadn't learned how to cook? Anna was going to kill him.

My laugh alerted him to my presence and he just turned around and stared at me in shock forgetting that the rice cooker behind him was redecorating the kitchen.

After a few moments of his staring I started to feel a bit uncomfortable. "I'm sorry I barged in. I did try to knock and the door was open. I hope you don't mind." He babbled nervously. Something was wrong here but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Lyserg?" he whispered harshly. My whole world tilted on axis at that one word. There was only one person who said my name with that inflection.

"Hao?" I asked incredulously.

Looking closer I could see the differences now. This person was still too thin and to pale to be Yoh. Although he'd grown out his hair so it was the same length as his brother there was still and overall appearance of not being quite as healthy as him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I was just hoping to see Yoh." I explained. Trying to control the flutter of emotions I was feeling and hoping he couldn't see how much his presence was affecting me.

"Yoh?" he asked irritably. "When will you get it through your head he isn't interested in you? It just so happens that he and Anna have begun planning their wedding."

"They are? Oh. Good" I said hollowly. The sudden offensive tone and his assumption that I still wanted Yoh caught me a bit off guard and I couldn't respond appropriately. "I guess Anna got the hang of smiling." I muttered.

"What are you talking about?"

"Didn't come here for that, I just came to make sure he was doing okay." That you were doing okay I said in my head forgetting that Hao could probably hear it.

"So you are not here for Yoh."

"No."

"And you are happy that he is marrying Anna."

"Yes. Well if he is happy then yes. I told Anna Yoh would like her more if she smiled."

"Then why are you really here?"

"I told you I wanted to make sure he was doing okay."

"You mean with me around." he added darkly.

"No! I thought you would be with the rest of your family."

That caused him a bit of pause before he continued. "I was with them for a while. At least until I could control my power enough to get around."

Now I was really confused. What did he mean controlling his power? Hao had enough power to create fifty elite shamans with extra to spare. "What do you mean?" I asked.

He gave me an annoyed look. "I mean it seems you got your wish after all. Asakura Hao is dead."

"WHAT?" he chuckled grimly at my stupid expression.

"It means that my spirit transfer was not a smooth one. You managed to tear the charm in such a way that most of my power was lost. I barely have a third of what I had before and most of that I need to use to keep my body moving."

"Keep your body moving?" I sounded like a mentally impaired parrot.

"What did you think a coma patient that's been immobile for years could just jump up and run around? You saw my body it was almost atrophied I didn't even have the muscle tone to sit up. The only reason I'm able to stand here is because my power is aiding my muscles."

"So you're not… you can't…" I didn't know what I was trying to say. Was he trying to tell me he had virtually no power?

He snorted at me "Spirit of Fire!" he called and I was shocked he would even try to summon his destructive spirit until I saw what answered his call.

It was a small red spirit orb about the size of a golf ball that made whooshing and crackling noises like one would hear next to campfire.

By this point I was speechless. I had already known that Yoh and the others had found, trapped and stripped the Spirit of Fire of all the spiritual energy it had stolen from other spirits over the years but even then it should still have been a formidable spirit. With Morphine I knew better than anyone else that little didn't mean weak, but even to my eyes this just looked like a very ordinary, even weak elemental spirit. Without Hao's strength bolstering its own the little fire spirit reverted back to its most basic form.

"Do you see now?" he asked snidely. "I am just as pathetically weak as everyone else. Now tell me again why you were here."

"I told you already…"

"Yes, to see Yoh. But I don't think that's quite true. Is it? You came here to check up on me." He asked, his tone dripping with smug superiority.

"How could I do that? I didn't even know you were here." I answered defensively.

"I suppose I could believe that, except" he paused in his mocking to move closer to me "you're blushing." He finished while raising his palm to cup my cheek.

Damn it I was tempted to lean into the touch and close my eyes. It's almost amazing that a loser like me managed to come up with a retort at all. "Hao you were in my body for years, I was the one who failed to kill you, I think that places some responsibility of your well being to me. There is nothing wrong with me making sure you haven't taken up your old habits again." I said; relieved my voice didn't betray the turmoil I felt with him so near and touching me.

Hao gave a husky chuckle "Liar." he said moving his body closer. In defense I tried to back away from him only to step into the mushy rice mess all over the floor. My foot slipped on the mess and I clutched at the nearest solid surface which happened to be Hao.

He must have been using his power to stay up because when I grabbed at him with both hands and continued to fall nose first into his chest he remained as immovable as a statue. "You just can't keep your hands off me can you?" he asked, clearly amused at the way I was clinging to him for dear life.

Failing to find the situation as funny as he did I got to my feet quickly and tried to let go of him but as soon as I did he gripped my arms and stopped me from moving further. By now I didn't care if my nervousness showed I was terrified of what I felt he was going to next even though I wanted him to.

Pulling me closer he murmured "Lyserg." against my mouth before he kissed me deeply.

At first I couldn't move. I tried to tell myself that I didn't want what Hao was giving and then it hit me. This was my first real kiss with Hao making me loose all reservations. I looped both arms around him and dove head first into the kiss.

You know, it's true that dream kisses are different. In the dream they were clean and perfect and completely free of awkwardness. Real kisses were definitely wetter. After all, only in a dream can you have someone thrusting their tongue in your mouth repeatedly and not feel like you have to wipe your face afterwards. I also noticed the feel of his stubble the smell of his body and breath, the taste of his mouth. None of which were in my dream before.

I suppose on a clinical level that sounds pretty disgusting, but it was totally enthralled by it.

Hao groaned into my mouth and changed his hold so one hand was behind my neck and the other was at my waist pulling me completely flush with him. Our little impromptu make out session was getting hotter by the second and if it continued for much longer, I would be on my back in a pile of soggy rice.

Fortunately and much to my embarrassment a very loud cough distracted us enough for me to pull away. I turned around and was horrified so see not only Yoh and Anna, but all of my friends down to and including Jun, Pirika and Tamao watching.

Just what I always wanted, to make a complete ass of myself in front of everyone I knew. Didn't I do that enough during the tournament? Thankfully most of them managed not to roll around on the floor with hysterics although it was clear some were trying hard to keep their faces straight.

"So," Yoh began cheerfully "does this mean you're staying?"

Just as I was starting to say "Maybe." Hao spoke over me saying "Yes." This earned him a glare from me. What was he thinking? Here I was just trying to come to terms with trying to have a relationship with him and he was already taking control? I was a hair's breadth from changing my mind and calling the whole thing off when Anna stopped me.

"Well that's a relief. If I had to listen to him moping one more day about you I would have had to ship him back to his parents."

My eyebrows shot up to my hair and my mouth hung open like a fish out of water. "What?" I asked, and then I looked back at Hao who was… oh my god! Was he blushing? Can he blush?

"Anna." He growled but she didn't look the least bit afraid.

"Wait! Whoa! What? What is happening here?" my gaze was moving through the faces around me like a pinball. Finally I focused on Hao. "You missed me?"

"He's been looking for you from the moment he awoke from his coma. The only reason he's here is because he knew you would show up sooner or later. And now he's ruined my kitchen." Anna huffed looking terribly inconvenienced.

Hao didn't say anymore. Just turned around and began cleaning the rice off of the floor. I was going to help him but the others swarmed me and by the time I could break away to help he was long gone. After some searching I found him on the balcony looking up at the stars.

I was going to say something deep and meaningful, but what came out of me was "You missed me?"

"You said it yourself. We were joined for years, we had a bond." He answered not looking at me.

Che, now who was the liar? Feeling a bit more confident I strode over to him, held his face in my palms and planted a brief but solid on his mouth.

"Asakura Hao, tell me the truth! How do you feel about me?"

Looking at me with and expression that looked as vulnerable as the time when we were talking over his comatose body I felt something pull painfully in my chest.

"I meant what I said before. I want us to be together."

"Why? Why me?"

He laughed bitterly "You don't know how many times I've asked myself that. The truth is I've never had a lover who wasn't attracted to me because of my power. If anything you were repelled by it but you still wanted me. You wanted me for me yet you continually punished yourself for it. Your desire for me was so pure; somehow it just drew me in. I couldn't resist it."

He took my hands in his and was rubbing the backs with his thumbs. "Be with me Lyserg. Be with me and I will keep my promise to give up my shaman only world." He vowed.

"I'm going to hold you to that promise, but for the record I was going to stay with you anyway."

Owari

Whew! I can't believe I finally got this one done! For those of you wonderful readers (and you know who you are) who have been reviewing and waiting so patiently for these chapters, I hope they didn't disappoint. Thank you for staying by me until the end. Love to you all!