Hey, this is the second chapter of "The hole in my life"

I rewrite this thousand of times and finally picked out this version for posting.

Have fun with it, PattyPotter91

Chapter Two: Thinking about the past

"So tell me, what's wrong?" Ephram looked at his sister, confused.

"Why should there be anything wrong, Delia?"

"Come on, I know you. You are acting weird." "I'm….just…not fine. Okay?" "I think I know the reason."

"I don't think so…Probably you… " He was interrupted by Delia.

"It's because of your baby, right?" Ephram took a deep breath.

"You are quite right. I think about him. But…is this a thing dad didn't have to know?" She shook her head.

"No, not that. Ephram I think you should meet Madison. Tell her how you feel."

Is Delia crazy? Why should I do that?

"I don't have any feelings for Madison, I still love Amy. So why should I meet up with my ex?

My god, brothers can be so dumb sometimes.

"Because she is the mother of your baby and maybe she feels the way you feel right."

Maybe his sister was right. He hadn't given much thought about Madison just about his son. Perhaps he wouldn't be this far away from the baby when he was talking to her.

"Probably you're right, Dee." "You know I will not drag you into something but at least it is a try to fix the memories of the past."

Ephram smiled lightly. "You know, right now I'm feeling like I am the teenager of the to of us. I guess your right. I will think about your idea. But what if she doesn't want to talk to me?"

"Are you crazy, Ephram? This is Madison we are talking about. 2 years ago you two were madly in love and talked every second."

"Yeah but things changed. We haven't talked since last year."

"Ephram what is your problem?"

Yeah, what's my problem? He looked at his sister and tried to

explain his fear. "I don't know, Delia. I guess I'm just afraid of Madison's reaction."

"Yeah, but shouldn't it be her asking you for forgiveness?"

"Yes, that's correct. But that was like what? Almost a year ago. I think she has forgotten all about me."

"Oh come on Ephram. You can not be seriously about this. I bed she is missing you badly." He stood up from the bed he had been sitting on for 10 minutes now.

"I can't just leave town, knock at Madison's house smile at her and say "Hey , you remember me? I'm Ephram Brown. When I was a 16 year old high school boy I dated you oh and besides I'm the father of the child you put up for adoption a year ago. I just came here to apologize because this morning when I brushed my teeth I had this idea in my head of meeting you." Delia it isn't working this way, it's a lot more difficult."

"You actually think she will have forgotten you? The boy who fathered her child? Oh my god Ephram, on which planet do you live? Mars?" Ephram watched his sister's face with a confused look.

"What do you want to say? Okay probably she remembers me but I don't know if she will be grateful or thankful about my visit."

"Well you can't find out if you don't risk something and try."

Ephram nodded. His sister was right about that. "I know you're right. But the thing is…. I risked so much lately. If it was Madison or Amy, every time I got hurt in the process. I put so much effort in those relationships that I didn't have the energy, power to overcome the loss…All in all it was a long, long way for nothing. Nothing which is still alive, still active. You know what I mean?"

Delia nodded quickly. She reached out for her brother's hand and intertwined his fingers with hers. "I understand you. But maybe it wasn't for nothing. Well, Amy doesn't want you anymore that is shity but Madison… what if you fall in love with her again?"

Ephram smiled lightly and shook his head. Not in a million years!

"No, I highly doubt this…Nevertheless a bit of luck would actually feel good."

"See, I'm not that stubborn, Ephram. I know you very well. Oh, ahm, I go over to Nina's. Wanna come with me?"

"Ahm no, I feel a little ill and tired so I will stay in bed for the rest of the day. So… have fun there."

"Thank. And thanks for listing."

"I have to thank you for that. Thanks for hearing me out. It helped to talk about it, Dee." Delia grinned and ran downstairs.

A few minutes later Ephram let his body plop down on his bed. He closed his eyes and remembered events of the past.

Flashback: Ephram, you are going to be late!" "Yeah mom thanks. Is it my fault when dad hides my wallet behind his oversized package of files?"

Julia went to her son and grinned. Then she hugged him tightly.

"Oh Ephram, I didn't know you love mom that deeply."

He smacked his sister's arm lightly. "Shut up Delia. Or I will tell mom that you wore her blouse last week."

"I...I just wanted to try out these clothes and I decided they aren't comfy…" Julia Brown nodded quickly. "You're right little one… The only reason why I wear them is because I look like a smart lady in them." Delia, Ephram and their mother laughed helplessly till they couldn't breathe anymore.

End of Flashback

Ephram's face was covered with tears in less than 50 seconds. His mom! He still missed her so badly and was so sad about her sudden death but why did he think about her right now? He didn't want to remember bad things but he could not help it.

Flashback: "Amy, I love you. Why can't you see that?" She looked at him, confused. "Ephram…I…can't…! "What can you not do, Amy?" "Being with you is none of my aims, Ephram!"

He started to swallow hard and grabbed her arm. "A…Amy…I need you, please" She backed away and shook her head. "No! Your dad helped Colin to wake up and I care for my boyfriend, my real boyfriend!" "Oh that is the reason why you kissed me at Thanksgiving? Because you already have a boyfriend." Amy breathed heavily. "I didn't want to kiss you, I just was so alone and you were there and …" "And helped you to feel better? I'm just a friend you kiss sometimes and play with like you want! Is that your feeling about me?" "No, Ephram.I don't want to hurt you but you will never replace Colin! Never!" She had tears in her eyes and sobbed. "Why are you crying, Amy? I'm the one who should cry right now. And I don't know how I could be that stupid."

"About what?" "That I actually thought you wanted to have my friend ship. But why should you care about some loser with purple hair, a freak who reads mangas and wears strange clothes?

With these words he left her…

End of Flashback

Ephram looked at his pillow and thought. Amy hadn't spoken many words to him since he had told her that he still loved her. Their relationship was like an iceberg which melted every second a little more. It started with strong friendship then it became less important to talk with each other. When they finally admitted how deeply they loved each other their love was endless and strong but now?

Now he was the only one who had some romantic feelings left.

It couldn't end like this or could it?

Sorry about the Amy thoughts. Oh and the quotes of his flashbacks weren't in the show, I made them up.