Buffy knelt, legs akimbo, and shoulders squared as she faced her enemy. This was her fighting stance - she was ready to pounce, kick it's ass, show it who's boss. The monster met its predator with a white, sparkling jaw, and Buffy gripped her weapon in horror - a long, white stick with a brustle on the end - as she prepared to fight.
Any minute now.
"Buffy? Have you finished cleaning the bathroom yet?"
Buffy frowned at Willow's call. "No," she grumbled. "The thing is looking at me funny."
The bathroom door was pushed open by Dawn, who stuck her head in and burst out laughing. "Buffy!" she cried. "You haven't even touched the toilet yet!"
Buffy threw the toilet brush aside and huffed. "This was always Mom's territory," she said. "No wonder she only did it once a month. Its horrible! I'd take Slaying anyday opposed to this."
"Yeah, well Dr Davies said you can't stress yourself out too much, or take part in any exercise for a few days," ordered Dawn, sternly. "I think Slaying counts as stress and exercise, don't you?"
"I don't see why I can't do that stuff," moaned Buffy. "I mean, its only a few scratches on my face. They'll clear up."
"You forget she doesn't know about your super-fast special healing," replied Dawn. "And its not just the scratches. You know she almost passed out when she checked out those bruises and cuts all over your body."
"I can't believe you made me go to the doctor," her sister complained. "I mean, it was just a few cuts from a burst jar."
"That needed anti-septic," added Dawn. "Spike told me."
The name of the vampire jolted Buffy back to life, and she stood up sharply from where she had been kneeling on the tiles. "You do the bathroom," she demanded rudely of her sister. "I give up." She passed Dawn hurriedly, and ran downstairs to the front door, grabbing her wool blend coat from the stand as she went.
"And where do you think you're going?" came a challenging voice behind her. She turned around sheepishly to see Willow stood before her, arms crossed and a sceptical look on her face.
"Out for a walk?" Buffy attempted, but Willow shook her head.
"A likely story," she replied, and she took Buffy's coat from her, easily, and pointing to the sofa. "Sit," she ordered. "We need to apply your ointment. And Anya's in the kitchen, baking you cookies." She lowered her voice. "I don't know what's got into her recently. You know, all save-the-world-y, and now with the cooking?"
Buffy snorted, and Willow glared. She threw herself onto the cushions, and exhaled heavily again.
"I don't like it," she wailed. "Being treated like the patient. I mean, ointment." Willow pressed the tube, gently, and applied a layer to Buffy's purple scars.
"They're healing up," she said. "I think they'll be gone by next week." Her expression turned sour. "No fair," she continued. "'Coz you can bet your bottom dollar that if I had wounds like this, they'd take a hell of a lot longer to heal up."
"Yeah, well, all in all I don't recommend the Slayer package," replied Buffy, as Willow finished helping her with her ointment. "Special powers are fine, but I don't like the vampire sexual harrassment that comes free."
Willow's jaw dropped. "Angel?" she asked. "But I thought he went back to L.A!"
Buffy shook her head. "No, it wasn't Angel. He left the day before yesterday." Anya came bustling in, with a plate full of hot, steaming - and slightly burnt - cookies, accompanied by a satisfied smile.
"Spike?" Willow tried again, taking a cookie from the plate. Anya took a seat besides Buffy, still in her apron. "He kissed you?"
"Tried to," corrected Buffy. "I escaped before anything happened."
"Poor Buffy," Willow replied, as Dawn came traipsing down the stairs.
"Hey," she said. "What are we talking about down here?"
"My non-existant love life," Buffy answered gloomily.
Dawn pouted uneasily. Buffy's love life was never exactly the smoothest of all topics. "But what about Mystery Man?" she asked. "Whatever happened to him?"
"It turned out to be Angel all along," Buffy responded, and Anya and Dawn both cried out "No!" simultaenously, Anya with a look of confusion, and Dawn a look of disbelief.
Both Willow and Buffy turned to stare at Anya, who looked as if she was ready to burst. The Summers sisters and Willow backed away a few inches, cautiously.
"What's up with you?" questioned Dawn. "You look as if there's been some kind of explosion in your mouth."
"Its not Angel!" Anya cried, and she clapsed a hand over her mouth in shock. Buffy's eyes widened.
"What are you on about?" she asked Anya. "He told me. He met me at the Bronze. William is the Irish form of Liam - his human name!"
Anya shook her head determinedly, still with her kunckles in her mouth, attempting to block any speech. Willow reached fowards, and took - with much effort - Anya's hand from her mouth. "She told me," she whispered. "The demon - Coquetta. When I was threatening her with vengeance spells. She asked me if I wanted anything, she was trying to tempt me to release her. She offered me an Orb of Thessulah-"
"Ooh! They make great paper weights!" exclaimed Dawn, who had been too young to understand what Willow had really used one for. Buffy and Willow shushed her, and she sank back, with a sulky expression on her face.
"-and then she tried to tell me secrets of all the... things she'd worked with," Anya continued. "She mentioned The Immortal - a really evil yucky guy - and then she mentioned Spike."
"Spike?" Buffy pulled a face. "What does Spike have to do with anything?"
"Sssh!"
"Sorry..."
"Well it turns out that Spike has a computer," said Anya. "Coquetta was quick to point out it was really broken and battered - Spike probably pulled it out of a dumpster like some kind of tramp, and how can you even get electricity in a crypt? How could he get a TV working in there, that's what I want to know-"
"Anya!"
"Sorry, off topic." Anya looked bashful. "Anyway, the demon told me and Xander that she went raiding it - I don't when she did it, but she obviously found the time, because she pulled up some really juicy stuff. She found an online dating account, emails to Buffy, and IM history!"
"Spike is William?" gasped Buffy, Willow, and Dawn at the same time.
"William the Bloody, no less," concluded Anya, looking pleased. "He probably convinced Angel to pose as William that night, Buff."
"Why would Angel do it?" asked Willow. "I mean, doesn't he hate Spike?"
"They might have made a deal," said Anya, thoughtfully. "She said that Spike had tried to throw Coquetta out. Maybe that was his end of the bargain. God, its hard being wisdomous!"
"Wise," corrected Willow, with a grin, but her contribution was drowned by Buffy's proclaimation.
"I have to go and find Spike!"
All heads turned in Buffy's direction. "After he tried to kiss you?" Willow reminded her.
"Spike tried to kiss Buffy?" Everybody ignored Dawn.
"I owe him an apology," admitted Buffy. "And he owes me one hell of an explanation!"
"Then go," urged Anya. "Go!"
Buffy snatched her wool blend coat from Willow's grasp, and threw open the front door. "No slaying!" Willow yelled after her, and Buffy grinned as she ran into the cold night, hurriedly thinking of a million things to say to Spike when she eventually reached him.
A/N No flames, please!