First of all:
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, and I swear they don't own me. They don't ! I tell you!
Credit: thank you so much kohano haru , profile. w w w . f a n f i c t i o n . n e t /- k o h a n o h a r u
Kohano Haru helped me in reediting and somewhat re-writing the fist part of this fic. All the credit goes completely to kohano haru for the second part…. So visit her profile and read her stories!
Konaho haru , you are awesome! A pot full of my favorite cookies just for you (take note that I am a real selfish person when it comes to my cookies!)
Love does not exist...
Why….why? why does she do this to me ? Does she know that she does this to me?
I look at her from where I sit. I observe her with narrow eyes.
'Why?'
I feel hypnotized as I watch the sway of her hips… the shifting of her waist… the whisk of her arms. Her every move indicates a graceful dance, and its all too tempting.
'Her movements all ways seem too inviting'
I want her. I desire her…. and I hate my self for doing so, but she is like a drug, intoxicating every breath I take. I hate that feeling. Now I look away disgusted with my self, and hating her more and more. It's all her fault. She makes me weak. She makes me want her.
'It's all lust…'
Yeah, I don't love her, never have, and never will. Love is just a word … there is no reality to it. All that exist is hate, hate is all I feel, hate is what I do, and hate is all I give. Somebody should feel for the girl. She and her foolish fantasies.
"What a joke"- I whisper in a low snarl
"Did you say something Sasuke-kun?"
That voice … why must I always fall for the spells that emerge out of those lips?
"Sasuke-kun?"
I finally turn my gaze to her and glared.
"You're annoying…"- I say
"Ano… gomen Sasuke-kun…"
I wait for her to leave as she always does. Always taking my harsh words to heart. Can't she see I'm only trying to help her? To awaken her out of her make believe world where weak and foolish things such as hope and love exist? However, she doesn't even make the slightest movement. This disturbs me so…there's only so much time that I can contain my self when she comes near me. Does she know the risk she is taking by standing so close to me?
"Sasuke-kun?... I was wondering…"
Here we go again. She and her silly attempts to get my attention. Irritated with the tightness in my shorts she gets my attention.
"What do you want?"
I snap, not really wanting her around (in the state I was in I might do something I would later regret).She winces at the tone of my voice, and lowers her gaze to the floor. Utter disappointment shown in her eyes.
"…Why are you always so cold to me?..."
This question catches me a little bit off guard. But I remain quiet and calm. What kind of response does she expect me to give her? I, for my part, think it's quite simple.
'Because I hate you'
Yeah if I say that…. that should satisfy her enough.
"Why is it that you hate me so?"
That one completely caught me off guard, somewhat shocked that she would also ask that. Is there no satisfying this woman?
"Kusu"
I lowly curse at the current throbbing in my loins, and I wince at the pain.
'Kami-sama'
There is only so much that I can take from this.
"Is it because of your brother that you hate so much? Is it because of Itachi?"
"What?" I more or less whisper.
I look at her in disbelieve, And the tightness in my shorts disappears
'How does she no about him?'
More hatred starts to arise at the mentioning of my brother. Damn that bastard for still being alive. He slaughtered all my family for his selfish satisfaction.
'I hate him with so much passion that I became the person I am today. I hate him to the point that my hatred overflows with the lustful desire to kill him!'
Now it hits me…
'….it is because of him that I hate so much…'
It's because of him that my life has been a living hell up to this point. Killing my family wasn't enough. He had to make me just like him. He had to toy with me and transform me into the very thing I hate. He made me hate Sakura.
"…yes…it's because of him…"
I find my self saying. Memories from the past start to awaken in my head, and they replay repeatedly. Now I realize how broken I've been all my life. My eyes become hot with moisture as I look to see her face and find that she is surprised that I've responded in such a way to her dark curiosity of my hatred. Her expression soon changes to concern and she holds out her hands to wipe away my tears.
"Onegai Sasuke-kun, don't be sad. Don't cry… "
Sad? Strange ….. I am sad ….
'How long has it been?'
How long has it been since I felt this? Sadness... to think that this emotion also exist… to think that other emotions apart from hatred also exist within me. I'm broken, I'm sad, and I'm alone…
"…I'm here for you…"
"!"
"I've told you before Sasuke-kun … I love you"
'…Sakura…'
Can this be true? Can she truly love me?
"There is no such thing as love..."
"Yes there is Sasuke!"
Love has never been real to me. Love has always been a lie. Never has a loved one stayed by my side. Never has someone told me they loved me and then continued to love me. She says this now but what of the future. She will leave just as everyone else did.
"You lie…"
Hoping for her to prove me wrong, I look in to her eyes, trying to find the answer deep with in them. With so much desire to want to know what love is, I allow her to close the space between us
"I will show you what love is…"
Her soft lips tenderly press against mine, and then I feel a warmth over take my body, my hand unconsciously wraps around her waist bringing her close to my body ,and I lean to her, deepening the kiss wanting to obtain more of that warmth.
'Is this love?'
Is this her love I feel? That soothing warmth?
'Can I love like that? Does she also feel this warmth?'
I feel as she pulls away, but the warm feeling remains.
"Did you feel that Sasuke-kun? The warmth of love?"
I nod my head and I look in to her eyes once again, but this time to find the answer of an unspoken question.
'But, Sakura… do you feel this warmth?'
I can't find the answer. Am I capable of making her feel this way? Am I capable of making anyone feel this way? No. I can't be. There is just too much wrong with this. She's doing it to me again. She is clouding my judgment.
"You're weak." I tell her. She is my weakness. She blinds me to the truth: love is a lie. It does not exist. She does not love me and I do not love her. We are not and will never be in love.
I grab hold of her arms, forcefully but not painfully and pull her off of me. I turn and walk away leaving her broken again. This time I hope she stays that way. Maybe now she will see the truth and realize that none of this is real. It can't be. It's just too good.
-o-o-oO0): - :(0Oo-o-o-
I walk to our normal training spot. As usual I am the first one there. I am much early then usual though. It's because of her. Everything always seems to have something to do with her. I couldn't get any sleep last night because of her. All I felt last night was pain because of her.
'I always feel pain though. That is not because of her. That is his crime not hers.'
I lean against the railing of the bridge. I frown and my brow furrows. Why am I always thinking of her?
"Sasuke-kun, are you alright?"
I hear her voice. I hurt her and break her everyday. Yesterday I was the coldest I have ever been and yet she still shows up here and manages to concern herself with my well being. Does she have no interest in her own well being? No self interest? Impossible! It's an act. Her love is a lie. None of this is real.
"You know Sasuke-kun, I'm always going to be here."
I could hear the determination that statement held. She seemed so sure that she would always be around. Did she really expect me to believe that?
"I will always be here because you will always protect me."
She sounded sure of this as well. Didn't she realize that I would choose my revenge over her? Couldn't she understand that?
'Would I really choose revenge over her?'
"Sasuke I will always be here for you. If you ever have to choose between me and your revenge, choose your revenge, because even when I die I will be by your side. I will watch over you from the heavens and give you everything you want and need."
Is this love? She has given herself to me. Her life is dedicated to my happiness. I think that if love were real this would be it. Alas, it is not real. It is too good to be real.
I felt a tingle in my hand. It was that warmth again. She was interlacing our fingers. Now she laid her head on my shoulder. Did she ever give up? I would only hurt her more. Didn't she realize that?
"Sasuke-kun, no matter what you say or do I love you. And I know you love me too. I know you love me too because yesterday when we kissed I felt it. I felt warm. It was your love that warmed me just as it is doing now." She sighed contentedly.
I could make her feel that way. If I made her feel that way I had to love her too. I just had too. It was the only explanation I could think of. Maybe she will be with me forever. As long as I protect her she would stay by my side. I could always feel this warmth.
'I understand now'
I grabbed her arms again. I could see the disappointment in her eyes. I vowed to never make her feel that way again. I slowly pulled her closely to me. I leaned my forehead against hers and said three words that I knew could make her happy.
"I love you."
Her eyes brightened as she threw her arms around my neck. I wrapped my arms around her waist. A slight shade of red could be seen on her soft pale cheeks. She started to play with the hairs on the back of my neck and I couldn't control myself any more. I leaned down and gently placed my lips on hers. I licked her bottom lip asking for entrance which of course I was granted. She let my tongue explore her mouth. I pushed my body hard against hers and her back smashed against the railing. This caused her to moan and that pushed me over the edge. I let me hands travel across her body as I started kissing her neck. I would nip at her skin every now and then and she would groan or say my name. My hands were sliding under her shirt when I heard a poof.
I immediately let her go and we compose ourselves.
"I guess it's a bad time to start training." Kakashi said rubbing the back of his neck.
4get!: I am so grateful kohano haru. Thank to you this turned out better than the original!
