Regular Reviews:
Marauding Critic: I'm glad you like the story. Yeah, when I write, I show a lot of my feelings that I wouldn't normally tell anyone about. Lol, I'm glad you think I'm writing 'one hell of a great story'.
Eliza: Wow. Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it! I'm glad that everything's going as expected for the characters. Thanks!
Ruth: Nope, I don't have the story planned at all. The thoughts just form in my head at the spur of the moment. I don't really like having things planned. Lol. I'm a bit more spontaneous than that. If you don't really like Harry hurting himself, then you won't like this chapter much. It's gonna have lots of Harry angst and things that follow. You're right, that kind of thing does happen. I've dealt with it all my life from the people close to me, so I know what it's like. I have have my own perspective from personal times alone in my room, but I don't want to get into that. As for Snape. I have a few things in mind about how he'll find out about Harry, but I can't pick one. He'll find out soon enough, though.
MiakaChan5: Um, o..k. Well, since I'm a very weird person, I'll take that as a compliment.
AJ-Wolf-AJ: Lol. Yeah, Snape's mom is a thing that just popped into my head one day, and I put it down. I wasn't sure how everyone would deal with it, but I didn't get any flames, so I guess they liked it okay. And of course, there will be more of Voldemort screwing things up. He always does.
Awen: Wow! Are you really gonna add me to your favorite stories? That would be great! Thank you so much! Snape will realize how bad Harry's dreams are soon enough.
Rubberduckie713: Yeah, I love Harry cutting. Most of the time, anyway. And I don't know where I would be if Harry weren't tortured. Lol. Hmmm. So, do you want Harry to win or lose the trial? You don't have to vote, of course. I probably missed it, so here's a belated Happy Birthday: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Rubberduckie! Happy birthday to yoooouuuuuuu!!!!!!!! Lol.
Animealam: I'm glad you like my story. I don't know. For some reason I love Harry cut stories. If you don't like it that much though, then you won't like this chapter all to well. Has lost of Harry cutting stuffs. I'm glad I got the right reaction of Snape down. I wasn't sure how likely it would be to people. And about sending Harry back to the Dursleys extending the story, I didn't actually plan on ending this story anytime soon. At all. Lol. I never really even thought about ending it. I guess that's what happens when you don't plan your story out. I don't know, I sort of thought of this story going on forever. Lol. That's impossible, though. Harry has to older someday, and...well, die. Lol, Voldie and the Death Eaters really does sound like a band. There is an actual band called Harry and the Potters, though. I've heard some of their songs at a web site. They were so corny. Lol. I forgot what the web site was, though. I might have Harry get an asthma attack at the trial. Nice suggestion!
Padawan JanAQ: Yeah, Harry should be resting, but him being Harry Potter changes that fact. Poor Harry. :::Dramatic sigh::: Lol. Yeah, I might have Snape start tutoring Harry. That would be cool.
Dragon Lady: Yeah, I have to have the angst. I think almost every chapter has angst in it. Snape being drunk. I know it was a long shot, but I just had in mind a typical person finding out news that would completely distraught them. Yeah, I'm not gonna have Snape hit Harry at all in this story. That would just completely ruin their upcoming trust.
Ters: There'll be more action soon. Lol. Snape's gonna be a bit more evil in this chapter. Well, kinda a lot more evil. Heh, heh.
Werewolf6225: Lol. Now don't destroy the computer! The computer is your friend...well, most of the time anyway. Lol. I think this is the first or second write-more-story-or-else threat I've got. Heh.
Roseaxis: Lol. I think all people every now and then like Harry torture. I, for one, absolutely love Harry torture. Lol.
Riley: Wow, talk about a long review. Lol. I always love them , though. Of course, this chapter is going to be a tad bit darker than the ones before. By the way,a bout you asking how long my story will be for, I really don't know. I never even thought about ending it before people started to bring it up. I love writing this story. When I do end it, it will be a long time from now. I mean, you see how I made the first...maybe not even a week, last here. If Harry wins or loses the trial doesn't make this story longer or shorter. Either way just makes more adventures. Lol. It's safe to say, though, that this story won't be ending for quite a while. Even if I lose all of my reviewers and they all flame me, I'd still continue. I'd be pretty pissed off if that happened, but I'd still continue nonetheless. Lol. Btw, the end of your reviews don't get annoying. At least you reviewed. I love getting reviews.
Heather Snape: I'm sorry about the cutting thing. I just had to add that because it's better than me cutting myself. Oddly enough, when Harry does it, it sorta helps me release pent up feelings, so I don't actually have to do it in real life. Do you get what I mean? I hope so.
Reviews for people who want Harry to lose the trial:
Queenie: I'm glad you loved the chapter. I think that Harry losing the trial will definitely have more suspense. Lol. I already have some things in mind if Harry loses. I also have some stuff in mind if Harry wins. Lol.
UR Name: Lol. Who doesn't love Harry torture? Don't worry, cuz there's lots of that in here already, and more to come. Especially if Harry loses the trial. Heh, heh.
Lilyangel20: Hi, I'm glad you like my story! I'm also very flattered that you think I'm an incredible writer. :::Blush::: I'm happy that you added me to your favorites list! I'll be sure to e-mail you if I want to talk. Thanks for wishing me a Happy Birthday.
She-Elf4: Heh. I love Harry cutting. Just wait until Snape finds out. He'll go ballistic. *Hint, hint* Lol. Even if Harry wins the trial, this is still gonna be a relatively long story as I stated to someone else. I gotta have the right amount of Harry torture to leave me satisfied. Lol.
Sword Wielder - Firebreath: Lol. Well, that's putting it bluntly that you want Harry to lose. Weather he loses or wins, I'm still gonna have tons of Harry torture. Thanks for the compliment, also!
Ur name: Lol. If the votes add up, I'll try. But, ahem, didn't you already vote? Lol.
Tati1: Lol. Yup, my life really is like that, and it's getting worse. But, why am I laughing, you ask? Because of the irony of it! Lol. Actually, I'm in a good mood right now. Despite the fact that my aunt died a few days ago, I'm in a good mood. Lol. Weird, huh? I'm sorry your life is tough, though. Hope I can make you feel better! But this chapter will most likely depress people. I'll respond to anyone's reviews if it's more than 2 words, and if I don't lose them. Lol.
Me: Lol. I'll try...if this side wins, anyway.
Zhan Black: Ack, don't be sorry about my grandpa. I'm over it now. I can only hope that my mom gets better, also. She's not, though. Grr. I'm glad that you like my story!
Tenya Star: I'm glad you like my story!
This person sent me an e-mail saying that she wanted Harry to lose the trial. She said that she couldn't review cuz something was wrong with her computer, so don't flame me saying that I'm making up people to vote. Lol: Horsehuminum: E-mail: Lose the trial
Reviews for people who want Harry to win the trial:
Athenakitty: Dumbledore will mention it in time, and Harry will also tell Snape later. Either in this chapter or the next.
Wynjara: Lol. I gotta agree with you that Fudge is a moron. Maybe he'll screw with the trial, and maybe not. It just depends on my mood. Lol. And I think we all gotta act like 5 year olds sometimes. Even at name calling. Lol. I can assure you that either way, Snape will do something very *creative* to the Dursleys. Mua ha ha ha. Lol.
Ckat44: I'm sorry you didn't like Snape getting drunk. I just tried to think of what the average person would do if information like that was discovered. Especially with the life that Snape had. With the cutting, Snape will find out. Most likely in this chapter. But that's not before Harry does some more damage to himself. You'll see what I'm talking about soon. Heh heh.
Lady Lily3: I'm glad you liked the chapter. So far, there's a tie about the win/lose trial thing. Hopefully we'll receive some tie breakers!
Angiewolf: I don't know if Harry's gonna go to Hogwarts in my story. He probably will, but it won't be for a while. Yeah, I'm sorry about the words and jumpiness. I know I move things a bit too fast, but it's just me being anxious for things to happen. I'll try to sow things down a bit. I'm not sure how that will happen, cuz if the chapter is too boring for more, I'll either make it really short, or I couldn't even write it at all. I'd lose my concentration. I'll try, though.
Mikee: Hmmmm. I'm not saying no to your offer, I'd just have to see what everyone votes for and stuff. I really like what you said. It's a brilliant idea that I might actually try. But if I don't try your idea, don't be offended, cuz i really do like this idea.
Madame Moony: Hmmm. Well, if Harry does go back to the Dursleys, then they're definitely going to abuse him. Well, maybe not Petunia.
Awen: Lol. Snape kidnap Harry. That's an original idea. I'm not laughing at you, though, cuz it's really not a bad idea. Nah, I don't think that Harry would become the next Voldemort, but he does live in misery. Lol.
Jessyka: Lol. Calm down. If the majority of the people want Harry to win the trial, then he'll win. Lol.
Here's another e-mail vote: Hematite9: I vote that Harry should win the trial and go live with Snape. Anyway, let me know when you are going to have the next chapter out so that I will know when to look for it. Thanks!
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A/N: Well I got a lot of reviews this time. Lol. Just in case people were wondering, there's a tie, currently, between the people who want Harry to win the trial and the people who want Harry to lose the trial. If anyone counts and comes back wrong, here's the reason why: Someone voted twice. Lol. Anyway. Sorry this took so long to get posted. I didn't have any ideas at first, and then Fanfiction.net e-mailed me and told me that I was temporarily banned for putting up an author's note. That really pissed me off cuz I think it's a new rule, and who's gonna read the rules twice? I think I read it somewhere, I just didn't really comprehend it. My mistake. It still makes me mad, though.
Sorry if this has any spelling mistakes. I'm at my grandma's house, and my uncle's keyboard is kinda messed up. Whenever I push a certain letter, it doesn't type. Plus the keyboard is in the wrong place then what I'm used to. Lol. Grr. Bad news everyone. Well, sorta bad news. My aunt died a few days ago. I dind't know her or anything, but it still came as a shock.
Um...this chapter is gonna be kinda dark. More Harry cutting in this chapter. Snape's gonna be more evil in this chapter, so beware. Lol. Well, here ya go, chapter 16.
Chapter 16: My Suffering, My Bleeding
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Harry ran into his room, and quietly shut his door. He didn't want to upset Snape any further. He plopped down on his bed, and laid down on his back. He began staring at the ceiling. Harry hated having a dysfunctional family. Why couldn't his parents be alive? If not that, then why couldn't the Dursleys love him like he was part of the family? That's all he really wanted. To be loved. Sure, he had Ron and Hermione, but that wasn't the same. He wanted a mum and a dad, but instead, he had no one.
He had once thought, a few days ago, that Snape could maybe provide that; no matter how stupid and hopeless it sounded. Harry just wanted someone. Snape had at least showed comfort and a little bit of concern for him. Harry sighed. He would never have anyone. He would continue on to make peoples lives miserable.
Harry fell asleep with these thoughts in mind. His nightmares were horrible that night. They were almost lifelike. He kept having dreams of Snape coming into his room, sometimes drunk and sometimes sober, and hitting him. All night long Harry had these nightmares, until they etched themselves into his brain.
Harry awoke with a start when he heard his door squeak open. He shot up, backed up against the wall, and threw his hands up in front of his face protectively. He saw a head peep in the door. "Jus' making sure." Snape said, his voice still a little slurred. "I-I'm fine." Harry said, his back still pressed against the wall. Snape left, and shut the door. Harry listened quietly for his footsteps the die down, and then lowered his defenses.
Harry knew that he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep, so he quietly got out of his bed and sat cross-legged on the floor. He reached into his back pocket, and got his blade out. He fingered it slightly, running one finger along the sharp edge. Blood began to seep onto the blade as he did so. He pulled his finger back slightly. He hadn't realized that the blade was that sharp.
He smiled as he slid the blade across his wrist. As he did so, a few stray drops of blood fell from his pale wrist and onto the floor unknowingly. As more blood began to creep slowly down his arm Harry conjured up a towel, though he did so without his wand. He gently wrapped the towel around his arm.
Blood began to seep through the towel, and Harry wondered if he had cut too deep this time. Harry applied more pressure to try and stop the bleeding. He didn't want Snape to see him like this when he woke up. He would probably yell at him, just like his uncle always did. Harry shook his head, ridding those thoughts. He didn't want to think about his uncle right now. As a matter of fact, he didn't want to think about anything that had happened there. He didn't want to think about Voldemort, Death Eaters, Hogwarts, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore, or Snape. He just wanted his mind to be blank for once. But that never came to the Boy Who Lived. He always had something on his mind. Something terrible.
Then, Harry was blessed with a wonderful thought. One person that could always make things better, or at least try. Sirius, his godfather. A small smile came to his face. He missed Sirius so much, but he hadn't been able to right to him. Sirius was away on an important mission. Harry's smile vanished completely. What would Sirius think of him now? After what the Dursleys did to him. Would he look upon Harry with disgust? Or maybe even hatred?
Harry gave a small sob as that thought crossed his mind. The only person that had ever loved him like a parent would and visa versa would probably hate him. Harry angrily wiped his tears away, realizing how weak he was. He hated being weak, yet here he was, crying over someone. How pathetic he was.
Harry unwrapped his arm, throwing the bloody towel under the bed waiting to dispose of it later. Harry sighed. He'd have to go to the bathroom and wash the blood off of his arm. He got up, and strode over to his bathroom. He flipped on the light, and turned on the water in the sink. He flinched as the water touched his deeply cut flesh. The cold water made it burn. Harry quickly scrubbed his arm, and then dried it with a towel.
As Harry walked out from the bathroom, he glanced at the clock. It was already 7:30 AM. There wasn't any sunlight in Harry's room, though, as he had charmed the window to always make it look like night. He had become quite skill full with his new power. He could do anything without a wand that most wizards could only do with a wand.
Harry headed over to his wardrobe, selecting one of Dudley's more longer sleeved shirts and a pair of pants. He quickly changed, leaving his pajamas strewn across the floor. He gently opened his door, not wanting to make any noise. He didn't want to make Snape mad.
He trekked down the stairs, feeling quite a bit of pain from the 'visit' with he Dursleys. He must of hurt himself even more last night while lifting Snape. He got to the bottom of the stairs and went into the living room. Not seeing Snape anywhere, he headed for the kitchen. When he didn't see Snape in there either, he began to wonder what had happened to him. Snape was always up before him.
Harry slapped a hand to his forehead, realizing his stupidity. Of course Snape wasn't up yet. He would most likely have a hangover. A very bad hangover at that. Harry shivered, wondering how Snape would react to Harry. What if he hits me?, Harry thought to himself. Although Snape said that he would never hit a child, he still couldn't shake that feeling off.
Harry didn't know if he should make breakfast or not. His aunt always made him make breakfast, but when his uncle had a hangover he would always slap Harry because the smell of the food would make him sick, or so his uncle said. His uncle would always slap Harry again because he said that the sight of him made him sick also.
He decided not to make breakfast. He wasn't all to hungry, anyway. In fact, the thought of food right now made him feel a bit nauseous. His stomach felt close to painful. Harry just got him a glass of water, and sat at the table. He took a few sips of the water and then just stared into it, thinking.
Harry was so lost in thought that when he heard a sharp, "Potter!", he jumped so much that he knocked his glass of water over. The glass fell onto the ceramic tile, and broke into a thousand little pieces. Harry, in a panic, quickly crouched onto the ground and began to pick up the pieces of glass. Harry was shaking so much now. He was scared that Snape was going to yell at him...or worse.
"Potter, are you always this clumsy? Hurry and pick it up!", Snape snapped, making Harry even more shakier. "I'm sorry sir! I didn't mean to!", Harry called out, still picking the pieces up. A few very small pieces of glass dug into his skin. Harry didn't notice, though. He just wanted to get the job done. Harry gathered the glass in his hand and walked over to the trash can, dropping the glass in.
Harry felt a sting in his hand so he turned it over to look at it. He saw blood lightly covering his palm. Nothing to worry about, Harry thought. He could always get the glass out later. Harry snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a chair scrape across the floor. Snape was sitting at the table with his head in his hands. Harry just continued to stand where he was, afraid to make a move.
"S-sir, are you alright?", Harry asked with a slightly shaky voice. "Yes Potter. I feel like running 3 miles non-stop. Just peachy.", Snape answered sarcastically. "Oh", Harry answered softly. "Yes, oh.", Snape said sourly. Harry sat down at the table, and began to think of something. He was concentrating really hard on a certain object.
All of a sudden, a purple-ish pill popped up in front of Snape. "Showing off Potter?", Snape asked coldly. Harry's anger spiked up. "No sir, but I thought it might make you feel better. It used to help my uncle when he had a raging headache and he felt sick. That and beating the hell out of me. Would you like a go at it? You know you want to. You just want to give me a good kick. Break a few bones, y'know? I mean, that's what my uncle used to do. It could be a new thing for you.", Harry snapped.
Harry crossed his arms glaring coldly at Snape. A plate flew out of the cabinet and zoomed across the room. It would've hit Snape in the head if he hadn't ducked. Instead, it hit the refrigerator door and crashed. Like the cup, the plate broke and went all over the place. Harry's breathing was ragged and he was having a hard time controlling the rest of his anger. He didn't know why he felt so angry.
Harry closed his eyes and began to count to ten. He hated it when he feelings got out of control. Everything went haywire. He slowly opened his eyes, and looked at Snape. He was staring at Harry wide-eyed. "I-I'm sorry professor. I didn't mean to-to do all of this.", Harry rushed through his words so that Snape probably couldn't understand him.
Snape's eyes immediately went stone cold, and Harry swore that the temperature dropped. "Potter, if I ever hear you say those words to me again you will regret it for the rest of your pathetic little life!", Snape said in a dangerously low voice. Harry almost laughed. Snape said he wasn't going to hit him, but he would still make Harry regret saying anything like that for the ret of his life. What was it that he would do if he wasn't going to beat him? Lock him in his room until death?
"Yes sir.", Harry said, head bowed. Harry didn't notice Snape swallow the purple looking pill, and he also missed the look of surprise on his face when the effects took place. "Potter did you eat yet?", Snape said, remembering to bring the pill up in a later conversation. "Not hungry.", Harry muttered.
Harry hadn't forgotten about the ever-growing pain in his stomach. The pain was much more worse than before. Harry's nails dug into the wooden table that he was currently sitting at. Splinters of wood cut into his nails, but Harry was in too much pain to care. As a sudden sharp pain cut into his stomach, he gave an inaudible hiss of pain.
Harry clutched his stomach, where he felt dampness touch his skin. Blood. How had the wound reopened? Harry was in no state to think at that time. He began to take deep breaths, trying to not be seen nor heard by Snape. That didn't quite work, though. "Potter are you okay?", Snape asked. Harry gave a short laugh, and more blood gushed out. "Yes professor. I feel like running 3 miles non-stop. Just peachy.", Harry said, remembering what Snape had said to him.
Snape imediatley got up from his chair when he saw all the color drain from Harry's face. He saw Harry holding onto his stomach, right where he got shot. Snape's eyes went wide when he saw the blood coming from the cracks between Harry's fingers.
Harry gave one last look at Snape, before he passed out completely. Snape bent down and swooped him up, realizing with a shock that Harry weighed close to nothing now. He knew that he didn't weigh that much before, but now he weighed even less. Much less than before. Snape half wondered how this kid had survived. The other half was more intent on rescuing him.
He quickly brought Harry over to the couch, having no time to run him up the stairs. Blood had already stained half of Harry's shirt, and Snape needed to do something fast. He pulled Harry's shirt off, and used his wand to try and stop the bleeding. It only made it stop bleeding a little bit, but it was a start. Snape conjured up a potion with his wand and slowly tipped it into Harry's mouth. He knew he wasn't supposed to give Harry anymore potions, but he knew the side affects of this one and they weren't all too bad.
The blood that was currently coming out of Harry's stomach came to a sudden hault. Snape sighed in relief. He wondered what had made the wound reopen, just like Harry had previously wondered. Snape then caught sight of something on Harry's arm. His sleeve had rolled up a little bit, and Snape had just caught sight of a cut. Snape crept closer, rolling the sleeve up more. He gasped when he saw all of the marks on Harry's wrist. He stared at them for a minute, before lowering his gaze. "Not you too, Harry.", Snape whispered sadly.
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3 hours had passed, and Hary still hadn't woken up. He was in a fitful sleep, a light sheen of sweat lining his face. He kept tossing and turning, and all Snape could do was sit next to him and will him to wake up. Harry gave a yell before sitting straight up.
As Harry sat up, he bumped into Snape. Harry gave one look at him before wrapping his frail arms around his neck. Harry began to cry into the nape of Snape's neck. He gave loud heart wrenching cries, as one would do if they saw their loved ones being brutally murdered.
Snape was shocked for a minute before he too wrapped his arms around Harry. He was crying so hard that you couldn't even tell what he was saying; but Snape did hear him say, "I don't want you to die." "Harry, I'm not going to die.", Snape said, his long burried heart breaking in two. "Please don't leave me.", Harry whispered. ____________________________________________________________________________
A/N: Well I hope you all liked it. Like I said before, I probably have some spelling mistakes in here from the stupid keyboard. Please don't flame me if you don't like this chapter! If you do flame me, I'll chunk them out the window. Anyways. Lol. Um. I'm sorry it's not very long. I'm also sorry that the author's response is so long. I had a lot of reviews. Lol. Well, I gotta go now. I'ts 4:30 AM, and I've been typing all night. If my mom catches me up, I'm sure to be banned from the computer for quite a while. Hope you all liked the chapter!