Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran.
Chapter 4:
Karou golden eyes go wide, as the forbidden touch of his brother's lips sends a bolt of electricity threw his entire body. Almost against his will, his eye's slide shut, and his mouth part's slightly allowing the other entrance. His heart pounding against his rip cage is just a painful reminder that he is falling, falling into a abyss of twisted desires. Trying in failing desperation to ignore the narasstic thought, the seemingly impossible notion that maybe just maybe this could be something more. More then what? Brotherly love. This thought pierces his heart almost cruelly. He tries to deny it, to push it away, but to his abosoulte horror, the realization that he actually craves those deliciously 'evil' lips, craves them in the worst way, pulls him right back to it.
Then he feel's hands, his brother's hands. Tormenting him, with the lightest touches and he wants more. He wants it all. To throw caution to the wind, and embrace this to the fullest extent. He wants, he wants... to be lost, lost inside Hikaru. As this last thought flashes quite vividly though his mind. His eyes snap open and stare into two identical orbs. Reality hits, like a cruel desert viper, it wraps its death grip upon Karou's soul. And he knows he has to stop, stop this before he loses all control. Before Hikaru takes them to a place they can never escape, to the fiery pits of hell itself. Oh, but he so wants to stay, to lose himself, to melt into damnation in Hikaru's arms, in the arms of sin.
But it's too much, this overwhelming desire, this notion of such sweet sin, and they are sliding, sliding so close to the point of no return. He can feel the tension in Hikaru's hands, how they shake as they caress the smooth material of his blazer. How they linger just beyond the substance of the buttons, and he knows that if one of them doesn't stop, Hikaru's earlier outburst will be meaningless. And he doesn't care, he just doesn't, even when he hears his friends shocked voices, their actual words just too faraway to have meaning.
But he is coherent enough to know what he is doing is wrong, oh so wrong. Then why does it feel so right? Why does it feel like this is where he belongs, and maybe that's why he is still entwined in his twin. Lips breaking apart and falling back together as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and maybe it was. But it couldn't be, could it? Was this really alright? And as Hiakru's hands slide dangerously close to the waistband of his pants, one of the other's gives a sharp cry off...is it disgust? Should he feel disgusted with himself, with Hikaru? Now Hikaru's left thumb is hooked just beneath that waistband, and Karou finds himself breathless, helpless to stop him. Please I want to stop, just let me stop him, oh but it's lie. He doesn't really want to stop, and now Hikaru is pushing him down, down and since when had they ended up on the floor? With the elder straddling the younger, peppering kisses on his exposed chest? Since when had it gotten this far, and just how far, just how far will it go? Fear sizes him and it is the only thing he needs. It's as if it is the only anchor left of his fading sanity. Like a drowning man lost at sea, he grabs onto that anchor pulling himself further away from this temptation and closer and closer to the real world. Oh, but it hurts, it feels like...like his soul is tearing. But what other choice does he have? It's not like he can endure this temptation, anymore then this hard cruel notion of separation.
So with a strength he never knew he possessed he pushes Hikaru off of him and runs from the room and into the loneliness of the hallway. His only sanctuary, the much needed cruel walls blocking him from his twin, the final safety of separation. Then why do these notions still remain? Why does this one hated thought still cling to him. In shame, Karou sinks down to the floor, just beside the Host club door, unable to distance himself further from Hikaru, and folding his head into his arms starts to cry. Yet even that won't drown out the pain, the ugly whispers of truth that his heart refuses to let his mind forget. The notion that Yes what he felt was more, more then he should. Oh, so much more, and he knew without a doubt he could never go back to before, never. For once in his life Karou felt utterly and entirely alone.