AHHHH

I'm sorry. I'm a bad updater. And the worst part is, I'm leaving for a month and wont be able to update. Don't hate me kthx.

Chapter 5

"Sakura! He's bad news!" Sakura's friends desperately tried to bring her to her senses. She got angry. She felt like her friends wouldn't back her with her decisions. Just because he had a reputation for being bad doesn't mean he can't be good to her. She shook her head trying to shut out their words. She'd be happy, with or without them.

"Fine Sakura, We're leaving. We don't want to see you get hurt." Her friends walked away from her that day. She didn't understand why they couldn't just support her. James was a wonderful guy. Sure he might have liked to do drugs once and awhile and get drunk when he partied...and he got violent sometimes. But he still loved her. He told her those words every day. She could live without her friends if she just had him and her loving brother and father.

Later that day James came to her and comforted her as she cried about the loss of her friends. He was a sweet guy when he wanted to be, but was James as good as she thought? She told him what they said and he got quiet and looked enraged. He just kept telling her to forget them and that he loved her. Always and forever.

"Sakura...honey. He hurt you. I can't let you be hurt by him." Sakura had walked home through the rain. She was drenched and didn't want to talk about it. James had punched her in the eye. They got into a fight about his drinking problem and drug use. He was her boyfriend of a year now and this wasn't the first time he had hit her and it wasn't the first time she tried to straighten out his act for the better good. She just shrugged it off again. He'd apologize and things would be good again.

He didn't apologize that day though. He decided to sleep around on her with a few women and then when he came back Sakura forgave him and things went back to normalcy. She didn't care how badly that hurt her, because again he'd just say that their love was all that mattered and that they should put the past aside when you're in love...besides what's not to trust when he promised he'd never ever do it again?

"That Fuck off did what!" Sakura's brother yelled gruffly. No matter how much he picked on her, she could tell him anything. It was in their second year and he again was caught sleeping around. She didn't think he'd ever do it again. But she found him and a girl she known through out the school as 'the slut' in bed together.

She wouldn't let that bother her though, no matter how much her dad and brother hated him at that current moment, she still 'loved' him. Because he was all she had left, she needed him.

Sakura sat in her bath tub shaking from the days occurrences. James was drunk. He took advantage of her. And he-after promising he wouldn't force her into doing it until she was ready, had taken her virginity without even thinking! She wasn't ready, she didn't want to lose it. She was hurt and he knew it.

When her family found out they flipped out. They had finally had enough, they wouldn't take this any further. They began to pack their things disregarding Sakura's wishes. She protested saying it was okay, even though she knew it wasn't. It was something precious, something not to be fucked with.

They were moving that day. She was in a state of depression as she broke up with James the day before. She was to have a new life, start over on a new slate.

When she got home, she threw open the door to her house. Things weren't right. She felt like everything was wrong. Things were supposed to be good, so why today of all days did everything feel like it was going to be torn away from her?

As she walked into the living room things began to move in slow motion, everything seemed to go by so slowly. All three of her guys were in the room. James crouched over her brother who was tied up on the floor wincing in pain as James swung a bat directly down upon his legs. The snapping sound of his legs echoed along the wall. He cried out in horrible agony.

Sakura must have unknowingly made a sound because their eyes were now all on her. Her father who first saw this eyes widened and he began whispering to her. "Run, Sakura, run" Was what she heard until the bat was swung into her father's right temple. The sickening impact was enough to make him moan in pain and Sakura was rooted to the floor. Unable to do anything.

"How is that Sakura! Huh?" James yelled with a malicious laugh. He jabbed the bat into her brother's stomach. "How about they suffer for all the pain they caused you!"

"Wait what? They never caused me pain. If anything, everyone tried to SAVE me from You" Sakura was finally able to get her voice back. She was in shock. This couldn't have been happening. It was fake. It had to have been. Tears fell from her eyes as she realized he was drunk and probably high.

"Oh?" James whispered coldly, his once gray eyes now were dark almost black-ish in color. His face held a wicked smile, which scared her to no extent. "Then they can suffer...just to suffer"

Where was the strong-willed Sakura when she needed her? Where was anyone when she needed them? That's right...they were getting ready to be killed right in front of her eyes. How could she forget?

It played slowly in her head, slower then normal. After this James would pull out the knife, he had conveniently stored in the hem of his jeans. He'd warn her not to move or he'd kill her in a way unimaginable. He'd come up to her tracing the knife's edge along her neck before forcing her to sit while he tied her to a chair and gagged her-to keep from screaming too loud. He faced the chair towards all the 'action' as he'd call it. She blinked back tears and closed her eyes, praying and hoping that he'd come to his senses and stop this idiocy. But he didn't, God wouldn't be so kind to her. She remembered the sickening stab and twisting of the knife going through their bodies. She watched him intentionally miss death blows, intending to make them suffer. He stabbed them both once...twice...too many to count on hand. They bled out while he laughed at their pain and he'd mumble things about how they brought this upon themselves.

Before their deaths she came to her senses by her father, who told her, to never make the same mistake and to stay strong. The only thing that kept her through the aftermath.

He'd come after her next, inching slowly to her in a painful way. But before he could slash at her the sirens of a police car would come to save the day. She would be spared...if that is what you'd call spared. Being left alone, in an unkind world.

The following events would go as a blur to her. She watched as they put James in jail on 2 accounts of murder...but because he was drunk and underage it played part to his 'insanity' plea. She would move away for the time being, trying and failing to be happy. Her life, what she once was, was shattered never to return. She was an empty shell harboring ill feeling towards anyone who had happiness in their life.

But...

Never had this occurred in her continuous nightmares. A ray of light blinded her from the blackness of her dreams. She saw someone radiating. A figure. Not a horrific terrifying silhouette but one that calmed her. She couldn't make out the face but if calming her down was its job, it was doing a great job.

Sakura jolted awake from her all-too-familiar dream. These happened ever so often, but she knew why it occurred today.

"5 years ago..."Sakura mumbled to herself a small smile adorned her face. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and swung her legs over the edge of her bed. She looked to her night stand and glanced at the alarm clock which read 4:30am. It was way too early for this. To the side of her alarm clock she picked up a picture frame and stared down at it, a small laugh erupting from her lips.

It was Sakura and her dad and brother posing for the camera at the local amusement park. Right before the picture was taken, she launched herself at her brother's cotton candy and took a huge bite from it without him noticing. She remembered how her brother threw a funnel cake at her and her dad got mad because that was a waste of 6 dollars. But to calm him down they snatched it from the floor exclaiming "5 second rule!".

Sakura reminisced the days when they were happy. She had spent a year depressed from the loss of them, but was pulled back to reality, when she met Tomoyo, who told her that they wouldn't want her to be depressed, and that they'd want her happy and living life. She had Tomoyo to thank for everything. She was happy now, she had gotten over the loss and was living just fine.

Sakura got out of her bed and walked into the living room to see Tomoyo watching a movie. Sakura concluded it to be a horror movie from the masked fellow running around with a gun and the creepy music filtering through the speakers. She tiptoed behind the couch Tomoyo was watching it from clutching a pillow so only her eyes could see over the top.

Right at the point in which the killer jumped out to the young ditzy blonde girl Sakura shot her hands out to grab Tomoyo's shoulders causing her to screech loudly and jump 6 feet to Sakura's amusement.Sakura laughed as Tomoyo glared and threw her pillow.

"Sakura! So not cool!" Tomoyo said with a whine. Tomoyo paused the movie, so she wouldn't miss anything as she talked to Sakura, her glare still evident on her face.

"Why are you watching a horror anyway?" Sakura asked through a laugh. "I thought you were the chick flick digger...and I remember you so clearly saying 'I will NEVER watch a horror movie ever again!'after watching that one movie with me" Sakura said raising her voice to match Tomoyo's.

"I am! But Eriol didn't think I could do it!" Tomoyo laughed, a blush spreading along her cheeks.

"How cute" Sakura said with a cheeky smile. "When's the marriage? Am I invited?" Sakura concluded the only way Tomoyo would freely watch a horror isby being convinced by someone she loved.

"Shush, Sakura! You'll get my hopes up." Tomoyo blushed further, but covered it with a pillow.

"Don't shush me, you already have a dress designed! I saw it..It's pretty" Sakura said with a reassuring smile. "He really likes you, I can tell...now play the movie" Sakura said sitting and getting comfortable on the other couch. Tomoyo played the movie and watched it a little calmer since someone else was in the room with her.

"So any new run-in's with Syaoran?" Tomoyo asked as they sipped coffee in the kitchen. Tomoyo was always the first to know if she ran into him again.

"Yesterday, Syaoran and Josh were together at the hospital." She replied remembering that incident. "Syaoran was angry and ignored me and Josh touched me again..." Sakura said and began telling her the story of that day.

"Ohh. Love-triangle!" Tomoyo said with a snicker as Sakura gave her a dry look once she finished the story.

"Shut up! I don't like any of them!" Sakura said with a look of defiance. She crossed her arms over her chest. She didn't like them, honestly she couldn't. It brought too much pain and she needed to protect herself from it.

"Oh really?" Tomoyo pushed further.

"Yes! I have no interest in them at all." Sakura said with a 'hmpf'. She put her cup in the sink after downing another cup. It was only 8:00, still too early for her to be awake on a day off. She pulled herself up onto the counter top and zoned out moments later.

"Did you hear what happened to Syaoran on the news last night? It was pretty bad." Tomoyo said after a small silence, shaking her head sadly. She was lying yes, but she had to prove her point somehow. Tomoyo looked at Sakura's reaction. Her eyes never lied and they flashed a dangerous color.

"...What! What happened, Tomoyo?" Sakura said abruptly worry spreading over her face. She jumped off the counter and walked quickly into the living room searching for the remote control.

"Where's the damn thing!" She breathed out angrily.

"Wow, I can see the hate just radiating off of you Sakura dear." Tomoyo said with a small giggle. Tomoyo stood at the connecting hallway leaning against the wall with her side, her arms crossed and her head resting on it casually. Sakura turned around slowly in a 'I'll kill you' kind of way, Tomoyo could almost see a twitch under her left eye. She laughed nervously.

"See, You do like him!" Tomoyo tried to point out quickly, but Sakura shook her head.

"No, I don't! I just find him extremely attractive." Sakura tried to reason with her, but she knew she'd lose. But she didn't like him, she couldn't like him. He was just, as she mentioned before, extremely sexy.

"If you don't like him why do you want to keep running into him? And why are you so worried about his health?" Tomoyo asked ruefully. "And why did you get disgusted and weird feeling when Josh kissed you...or touched you?"

"I don't like Josh." Sakura said with a stern look clearly avoiding the first questions. She did want to keep running into him, but that didn't change the fact that she didn't like him. "I don't like him."

"Just keep telling yourself then, it's okay to like someone though. They aren't all like James.." Tomoyo said remembering the day it was, and why Sakura was living in denial. She wouldn't want to get hurt again or in her father's words "make the same mistake."

Sakura stopped to think over those words. She wouldn't make the same mistake, she didn't want to relive that. All guys might not be like James, but Syaoran didn't like her. "Even if I did ... Syaoran would not go for a middle class no one like me."

"You won't know until you ask. He might very well like you a lot. Sometimes you have to just let go and try." Tomoyo said encouragingly. She was glad that Sakura liked someone whether she admitted it or not. She needed someone to bring her up, and Syaoran could do that. And from their encounters there were feelings behind their actions.

"Maybe." Sakura said more to herself then anyone. "I'm going to go get ready for today."

"Are you going to their graves today, Sakura?" Tomoyo called after her. Sakura turned and nodded her head. "Want me to go with you?"

"No, no. It's all right. I'll be fine by myself." Sakura said with a smile and turned into the hall way.She would be just fine. She took what had happened and turned it into something good. She wouldn't live in yesterday but live for the future. That's all she could do. She wouldn't treat this day as a horrible one, but she'd be happy, for them if not for herself.

"Maybe you should get Syaoran to go?" Tomoyo said just loud enough for Sakura to barely hear. And laughed when she heard Sakura groan in annoyance.

Sakura pulled her jacket closer to her with one hand as a quick gust of wind brought goose bumps along her bare legs. She decided to dress casually, but nice and so she settled on a light-blue spring dress with a light jacket over it, which she would have regretted but she found the chilling air nice today.

She looked up to see the sky gray and dull. It was just one of those days that you wish it would be sunny just because it was the kind of weather to affect your emotions. She sighed slowly her air coming out like a puff of smoke in front of her.

When she came into view of the grave yard, she took a deep calming breath. The cemetery wasn't eerie, but it scared her to think that so many people were dead around her. It was a beautiful place, the grass was a vibrant green and beautiful bouquets of flowers were scattered around. She knew this place like the back of her hand, she'd been here enough times to know all the names on the tombs that lay out a path towards the two she was venturing to.

When she got there, she saw the milky marble tomb stones with beautiful writing etching out their names. It was then that her eyes filled with tears. Allowing them to fall carelessly down her face, she sat between the two stones, her legs tucked underneath her to keep her dress from flying up. She didn't want to cry, but she missed them a lot.

"Hi Dad...Touya.." She mumbled barely a whisper, she felt numb to everything around her, she felt as if nothing mattered at that current moment. She always felt that when she came there, she felt as if none of the world's corruption and shallow materialistic views mattered. She had plenty of time to think there, to remember the past, to think about the future.

She began thinking about her life at the moment. Her work was good, she'd been able to help so many people. Tomoyo found a new love which made her happy because if her friend is happy so is she. And then that brought her to her own love life. Her thoughts drifted to Syaoran who didn't surprise her. She felt such a natural attraction to him. But she had yet to go on a single date with him...wasn't that wrong? She went on a date with Jon, but he didn't fill in that gap within her, nor did Josh who was with her for a day at her own home. He even aided her injury. No, neither of them had such an effect on her. He was like a breath of fresh air, only...she wouldn't be admitting that anytime soon. He made her do spontaneous things, like that kiss she inflicted on him without a question.

'He kissed me back too...' a blush spread to her cheeks as she reached up to cover them up, knowing that no one would see her anyway. People tended to mind their own business while visiting a cemetery.

She didn't know him long and that is probably why she was intimidated. She was afraid. Afraid to do something stupid, and afraid she'd actually like the guy...if she didn't already.

She ran her hands lightly over her father's tombstone and smiled softly. "I don't know if I'm breaking one of your last promises, Dad. I don't know if it's a mistake, and I'm not sure if I want it to be one...I don't know, everything's been... weird."

She didn't know how long she had been there sitting, but she honestly didn't care. She didn't care that her leg was slowly going numb from the weight above them, and she didn't care that the ground had been slightly moist due to the weather, and she didn't care that the wind had stopped and rays of sunlight could be seen through the clouds.

"Hey." A voice startled Sakura. Sakura turned around and peered up at into gentle amber eyes. She couldn't help but let a smile slip onto her face.

"Hi.."

Syaoran took a seat in front of her and just watched her, "Tomoyo told me I could find you here."

Sakura nodded and let the silence overtake them with open arms. 'Does that mean you wanted to find me?'Sakura quickly smothered those thoughts. She stared at him and her eyes flickered over his attire. He seemed a bit more dressy then normal... Her gaze went up to his face, his well-defined jaw line and his warm skin color. His pretty lips and his beautiful hair...oh his hair. Which she found out was as silky as she first imagined. She examined every part of his face finding no flaws, no nothing. His eyes which was one of her favorite things about him happened to be so inviting today. But she didn't mind drowning in them. She couldn't believe someone so seemingly perfect could actually be alive, and in front of her no less.

Syaoran watched her as she looked him over. No look of disgust crossed her face, she was even smiling the perfect smile of hers. He smiled to himself as he looked over her. She had no make-up on but still looked more beautiful then anyone he could picture, not that he'd picture anyone else at that moment. Tomoyo had called him and told him that he could find Sakura here. He had no idea why she'd be here of all places, unless something bad had happened. Seeming to read his thoughts Sakura finally answered.

"My dad and brother." She said softly her eyes glancing to both sides of her. She smiled weakly and felt that same pain she had when she first arrived...but was glad someone was there with her. She was glad he was with her.

"Oh..What happened?" Syaoran asked just as quietly, he felt horrible seeing a pained look etch across her face, yet she held strong.

"They were...murdered." She replied her eyes filling slowly with tears. His voice held care and that reassured her. She didn't feel as if she could trust him enough with the rest of the story...not yet. But he didn't push further, which she was thankful for.

"I'm so sorry Sakura." He said, laying his right hand on hers lightly, in a comforting manner. She shivered slightly but shook her head.

"It's okay, it's in the past." She said strongly, she couldn't cry in front of him, she wouldn't. He'd think she was weak. She didn't want that. But she was losing the battle and a tear slipped past, sliding down her cheek.

Syaoran tugged at her arm quickly causing her to lunge forward from her position sitting. She landed against his chest softly after being slowed by his hands wrapping around her waist. He hugged her tightly engulfing her in a comfort she hadn't felt in a long time. He let her know it was okay. He whispered consoling words to her as she cried softly into his chest.

Syaoran took in the smell of her hair, the smell of lavender. It was intoxicating. He also took in the way she would cry softly and silently as to not show others how she felt but the way she gripped tightly at his shirt let him know how badly she had been hurt. It felt so right just holding her, being there for her. He wanted to do everything he could to stop her pain. She deserved only the best in life.. Is that you?

Sakura didn't know how long they stayed like that but he was warm and nice feeling and she didn't want to move. She barely knew him but he made her feel okay. That had to be something...right? She enjoyed his touch. 'Damn him.'

Sakura laughed softly and Syaoran pulled away to look at her. She had stopped crying. She wiped at her cheeks and smiled at him. "You're something, Syaoran."

"What?" Syaoran muttered, a small blush covering his cheeks. Where had that come from?

"You barely know me, and yet here you are comforting me and doing a damn good job of it." She laughed again and Syaoran followed suit. She concluded in this time that he wasn't like anyone else. Not to her at least. He was unique and different.

They sat there in another silence for a few minutes just admiring each other for different reasons. But this time Syaoran broke the silence.

"Follow me." He said standing up to his feet and holding out his hand for her. She took it in her own and allowed him to pull her to her feet. He didn't release her hand but just continued leading her in a different direction. He walked over through the cemetery looking carefully at the names on the tombstones. After a while he finally stopped.

Sakura stopped and looked at the tombstone they were in front of with a confused look. The first name seemed unfamiliar to her, only the last name. Li.. She figured he was probably someone really important, but she didn't take the time to notice.

"My father." He said in a cold tone, but looked at her and smiled. He released her hand and she looked at him quickly a look of sadness crossed her face. She said before they barely knew each other, so he figured he'd let her into his life a bit.

"My dad was murdered when I was 16."

"Oh I'm sorry," Sakura said her eyes widening slowly. She knew how it felt. She didn't think he deserved it, she wished it didn't happen to him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him in a comforting way. She needed to return the favor.He shared something important with her and she was thankful, even though it was sad to her. He chuckled softly and she released him, a shy blush covered her face and she looked at him curious as to why he laughed.

"We weren't all that close. He was never around. When he died, I was left to take over the company. So once I turned 18, I did." He said resentment in his voice.

Sakura bit at the corner of her bottom lip. She felt bad, that was such a big burden to handle at 18...and he didn't even seem to want to do it.

"Why did you take over? ...You really don't seem the type to be tied down to such a large corporation...You seem more of the free spirited type." Sakura said cautiously. She didn't want to hit a nerve and make him upset, but she was also curious.

"I had to...If I didn't, it would have been shut down and so many people would have lost their jobs. It's not fair to them. But who says I'm not still free spirited? I still do whatever the hell I want. Hence these accidents," Syaoran smiled, his playful voice returning and his face brightened. He lifted his right arm and then used it to point to his now healed forehead.

Sakura watched him with a small smile. He was sweet, no matter how cocky he could be, he still cared for those around him. "How is your arm by the way?"

"Still hurts, maybe you should kiss it better?" He suggested with his signature smirk.

"Ugh, shut up." She rolled her eyes and mumbled something incoherent but sounded similar to 'stupid cocky bastard.' She turned around and began walking to the exit of the cemetery smiling to herself. She hated the way she actually wanted to kiss him.

"Aww, don't be like that," Syaoran pouted following her out. He could so easily get on her nerves, and he loved it. The way she got mad and would take the bait, just made him want to do things he wouldn't mention. He slapped himself mentally. 'I'm in a fucking cemetery...I really need to stop thinking...but at least she's not sad anymore...'

"Be like what?" Sakura had walked through the iron gates and turned around to look at him, annoyance clearly shown on her face. She wasn't annoyed with him, more at herself. She was supposed to hate guys like him, she was supposed to want nothing to do with them. But for Syaoran she wanted nothing more then to kiss the egotistic guy. 'He's just sooo...hot...bastard.'

"You're mad." He stated with a bored look. Before she could ask anything, he continued. "You're mad that your 'doctor' skills didn't work." He pointed at his arm, his eyes sparkling innocently but his mouth held a smug look.

"You have got to be kidding me." Sakura growled out, her face went red in anger. She wanted to wipe that smug look right off his face, and so she did. She walked up to him so she was inches from his body and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him closer to her, so his lips were less then a centimeter away. She smiled seductively and winked, watching in amusement as his facial expression quickly straightened up. She fought with herself to ignore the ache to kiss him and pushed him away before he could react to the actions.

"Fine, my arm is perfectly fine..." Syaoran said with a disappointed sigh and inwardly groaned. 'Little tease...'

Sakura laughed, at least she knew how to get under his skin. If only it didn't get under her skin to.

Sakura and Syaoran began walking down the street. "I'm heading in the complete opposite direction of my house..." Sakura mumbled offhandedly. She didn't care, but thought she'd break the ice since she was the one who caused such an awkward silence. He laughed at her and she glared.

"Stalker." Syaoran said under his breath and she punched him lightly in the arm. "What? I know you're following me home, who wouldn't?"

"You're unbelievable Syaoran." She said anger returning to her voice. This guy wouldn't quit. But why was she walking in the wrong direction? Without a care in the world.

"Unbelievably handsome?" He asked batting his eyelashes. She would always take the bait. He laughed softly when she threw her hands up in the air and turned around to walk in the other direction. "Fine, just this once, I'll stalk you home."

"I want ice cream." Syaoran stated from the side of Sakura. They hadn't been walking long and Syaoran had seen an ice cream parlor across the street from him. She turned her head to look at him and he looked at her with a childish smile.

"Oh but you might gain weight and ruin that lovely figure of yours!" Sakura imitated a prissy snob who worried TOO MUCH on their weight, when they were already twigs. She even paired it with a hand flourish. She didn't wait for his answer and crossed the street to the ice cream place. Now that he mentioned it, ice cream sounded very good to the empty stomach.

"See if I buy you an ice cream cone." Syaoran said like a child as he walked in a few seconds after her.

"Who drove you home Sakura?" Tomoyo asked as soon as Sakura walked in the door. Sakura raised her eye brow to Tomoyo's wink. Sakura felt like she was being interrogated. And she just got home!

"You already know who did. You sonofa-"

"Hi Sakura" Eriol said with a smile after coming out of the kitchen with a cup of water. Sakura glared at Tomoyo for a second and then smiled up at Eriol.

"Hi Eriol, didn't see you in there. How are you?" Sakura asked as she sat at the couch across from the two.

"I'm good, I couldn't help but see you get out of Syaoran's car, are you two a pair?" Eriol inquired, and smiled inwardly to her slight blush.

"No, we aren-"

"But she wishes they were." Tomoyo chimed in happily, ignoring Sakura's growl. "Tsk tsk, Sakura, girls' aren't meant to make those noises."

I'm ending it there for 2 reasons. 1. because I'm lazy. And 2. because I can't think of a good ending.

Again, I'm leaving for a month to go to DC, and I'm not sure if I'll have Internet access so I'm sorry but I wont be able to update for awhile.

You should review and make me feel special. Keep in mind, the more reviews I get the more willing to write I'll be. Recently I've been in a "I don't want to write" mood. So reviews would be good and influencing. -heart heart-

--AP133