Chapter Nine. Sifting Through Pictures We Never Had. This is Riku's Story.
"Whatcha' thinking' bout?" Sora asked, his head leaning on his knees and his shining face smiling at Riku sideways. The sun was more than halfway set now, and they had been sitting on the roof, not saying a word. Just sitting and watching and listening and breathing and living. Together. Sometimes conversations aren't necessary. All you have to do is live together to know you're not alone.
"The sun is red. Like fire." It wasn't Riku's fault, how could he not think about Axel? They had just broken up today, anyway. Or had they even broken up at all? Nothing was official…Did he want it to be? Out of the corner of his eye he saw Sora turn his face up to the sky and inhale deeply.
"What?" Riku asked, watching Sora's silhouette outlined in reds and oranges, his hair blowing gently and softly in the breeze.
"This is nice, don't you think?" Sora asked, looking over at Riku and once again smiling. His eyes were sparkling and beautiful. Riku studied his features for the thousandth time. He was so captivated by this boy, there were no words for it.
"Yeah, this is nice. I like it." His dipped his fingers softly into the mess of soft, luscious brown hair, tickling the boy's scalp. "I like you."
Sora shivered as he felt the words whispered against his lips. He dipped his head, confirming the kiss. It was slow and gentle at first, then Riku moaned quietly, leaning over the smaller boy, his hands on his hips. They pressed harder into each other, breath speeding up. Finally Sora pulled away, much to Riku's disappointment.
"What do you want, Riku?"
"What are you talking about, Sora? I want you. I want to kiss you and hold you and stare at you and be with you. I want to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of my life. I want to see you happy. When you're sad, I want to be the one to cheer you up. If it's age you're worried about, that's okay with me. We'll wait until you're older. If you don't want a physical relationship at first, that's fine too. I'll wait for you forever if it means that I eventually get to be with you in the end."
Although Riku had been expecting a much more cheerful reaction, Sora's eyes glazed over with what seemed like sadness. Suddenly Riku felt cold.
"Riku that's not what I want. I like you, a lot. I would love to do all those things with you."
"Then why not?!" Riku exclaimed, confusion and panic seeping through his veins.
"Because I'm not like that! I am not going to be your sex toy. I am not going to end up like Axel!" Riku's heart fell to the floor as Sora's eyes glistened with tears, the boy shooting up to leave.
Go after him.
He stayed still.
What are you doing?! Go after him!
The palm of his hand came in strong contact with Sora's wrist, causing the younger boy to gasp and show his tear-stained face to the pale man behind him. He noticed the green of Riku's eyes were filled with a powerful emotion, one that made his stomach collapse inside itself. Riku's lips parted slightly in the tiniest of smiles as he reached his fingers up to tickle the brunette's cheek, his body pressing closer to the boy's. Sora could feel Riku's warm breath against his lips. He flinched as Riku shuddered forward.
Their lips touched gently, lovingly, pressing together with a beautiful hesitation that seemed to last naught but a millisecond. Riku's fingers ran through Sora's soft, thick hair. He moaned slightly as Sora's arms wound tightly around his neck. There were no words to describe the feelings Riku felt in that moment. It was so beautiful, so powerful, so overcoming he began to feel light-headed. His heart seemed to stop beating, becoming nothing but a heavy mass in his chest. He thought he tasted the thick metallic heat of blood in the back of his throat, but realized it was the suppressing of lust.
The area between his groin and his stomach, hovering in his lower abdomen, felt as if it would explode at any moment. He knew he was trembling, but it was so wonderful, so magical, so amazing. When they finally pulled apart, Sora smiled at him in reassurance, tears building for the second time in the corner of his clouded blue eyes. Riku chuckled softly, barely even hearing his voice.
"You cry too much." If it hadn't have been for the vibrations he felt in the back of his throat he would have had no idea that he had said anything at all. Sora laid his head against Riku's chest, allowing the tears to dampen the cloth there.
"Do you promise to always love me and only me?" He asked in a small voice.
"How could I ever love anyone else? I was captivated by you the second I looked into your eyes." As the words left Riku's mouth, he knew he had never said anything more true. Sora took this moment to stare up at Riku with those eyes.
"Tell me I'm beautiful Riku."
"You have never been anything but, Sora. My eyes could never see you as anything else."
This was all he needed. With Sora, he knew he could breathe, and perhaps for the first time, he never wanted to stop.
The click of the key inserted into apartment locks caught Riku's attention. As Axel opened the door, it caught on the inside chain lock. Old fashioned locks for old fashioned buildings.
"Open the door, Riku."
Riku walked into the room dressed in a tight black wife beater and hugely baggy plaid pajama pants, a toothbrush idly buzzing in his mouth.
"M' Swry eh can' tulk rih nw ehm bruffing meh teef." Riku mumbled, foamy white toothpaste drippling down his chin. The scene was actually quite erotic. Axel took a deep breath.
"You don't have to talk to open the door, dumbass."
This time Riku ignored him completely, walking away and back further into the house. The door to the bathroom was shut loudly behind Riku.
"Hey! Where am I going to sleep?! What about my stuff?!"
Riku entered his room and shut the door behind him.
Where is he going to sleep?
No, we won't think about that.
He finished washing up, then walked slowly to his--their--bed. It still smelled like Axel. Like cigarettes, like burnt ashes, like sex, like cheap cologne. He held his breath and closed his eyes, filling his mind with thoughts only of Sora.
Opening his door the next morning, he saw the most pathetic of sights. Axel was spread out uncomfortably next to the apartment door, snoring loudly, a bit of drool sliding down his cheek from the corner of his mouth. Axel knelt next to him, shaking him awake.
"Hey. Get up."
"Nnnh. Is it morning? Eh? Nnnn biscuits. Mommy set the toilet on fire. Where are we going to sit to take a shit?"
Riku rolled his eyes, shaking Axel much harder until he shot up, his eyes wide and his hair a fluffy, tangled mess.
"Ughhh my head hurts!!" Axel moaned, clutching his forehead.
"It's because you slept against the wall all night." Riku sighed, standing up. Axel glared menacingly up at him.
"And who's fault is that? Maybe it's the door's fault for locking itself. Oh, that's right. It's yours!" Axel wiped his mouth before standing up groggily, pressing a hand against the wall to steady himself.
"Why didn't you stay at your lover's house?" Riku couldn't keep the bitterness from escaping his lips. Axel rolled his eyes.
"Riku come off it. Why don't we go inside and get me some Advil. Then I can get my stuff and leave your life forever and you won't ever have to deal with me again."
"Axel you know that's not what I want. You're still my best friend. We've dealt with worse than this." Axel smiled at him, even through his shock. They walked into the apartment, Axel lowering himself gingerly at the kitchen table while Riku poured him some coffee and gathered up some Advil. Once Axel had downed the red capsules, Riku spoke.
"You really like Roxas, don't you?"
"I could ask the same to you about Sora." Axel said, guzzling down the rest of the coffee before lighting up a cigarette and playing with his lighter. Riku watched as the flame jumped up and down with each click of the lighter, Axel's fingers dancing around it fearlessly.
"This is funny, isn't it? What these boys have done to us. All of a sudden they come into our lives and we're all lovestruck. It's like something out of a crappy chick flick. So cliché." Riku said between chuckles.
"Yeah well. As long as you don't hate me anymore. So we cool?"
"Yeah, we're cool. How could I hate you? Preposterous." Axel looked at the silver haired man strangely.
"That boy's really brought the best out of you. You've changed since he arrived."
"I guess I have." Riku stared at the table with empty eyes, not noticing that Axel had stood and walked over to the cupboard and pulled out the cow-print mug.
"Here." he handed the mug over to Riku with a nod. Riku smiled wickedly before smashing it against the table with a loud crash and watching as it exploded into large fragments. Axel crushed each chunk beneath his feet before engulfing them in flames. They both laughed from the bottom of their chests. It was a roaring laughter, one they hadn't experienced in years.
Make me beautiful…
…with your eyes
Owari.