Hmm, only one request so far. I'll honor it!

Ok, hopefully, I'll be able to please most of you this time around…because I feel like I'm failing to keep up the ante. Please, trust me, and give this a little bit of time. It won't nearly be a big as my first story, but it'll definitely be uber crazy.

I'm not focusing much on battles in this story, but there'll still be a few! They won't be super cool or anything, but I think I can guarantee lots of absurdity.

Ok, let's go!

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Marth got his job, all right.

But he was already having doubts about it.

"Here's your change, Ma'am." Marth said politely. He pressed a button on the cash register, and the drawer opened up. He put the money inside the drawer, and then pulled out a small amount of change and handed it to the little old lady.

"Thank you." She said. She hobbled out of the store slowly, holding her bag of groceries. She disappeared outside, and soon after, there was a screeching of burning rubber, and a hot rod convertible tore out of the parking lot.

"Crazy grandmas." Marth sighed in exasperation.

He looked about the store for the millionth time. It was just a common corner grocery store, out in the middle of almost nowhere, Smash City.

Yes, it was an actual location. The Nowhere side of Smash City. Crazy, random stuff happened there all the time, and everything ceased to make sense.

Therefore, Marth wasn't surprised when the ground started shaking.

"Oh, great." Marth moaned. "Another chicken stampede."

He slumped his shoulders, and stood glowering at his register, but then a sweet, perfume kind of scent reached his nose.

"Oh-Oh NO!!!" Marth screamed. He threw his work apron on the ground, and ran for his life.

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Wario happily rode his motorbike, humming a little tune to himself while speeding maniacally. Behind him were six police motorcycles.

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RING!

RING!

RING!

"Oh, $$!" Snake muttered. He rolled over in his bed, and grabbed his phone.

"Yeah? I'm cranky right now, and I'm about to shoot." Snake warned.

"Hey, Snake!"

"Otacon? That you?" Snake grumbled, asking the person on the other side.

"Yeah! I finally learned how to use a phone!"

"You've always been a technology geek. I'm surprised you didn't call me by that special mission thing."

"Anyways, I've got to get to the point." Otacon said. "The police have a job for you."

"Yeah? What is it?" Snake asked, his interest piqued.

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Bowser and Ganondorf were walking along the sidewalk in upper Smash city, a part of the city where almost every road was sloped. It was really high, and at the highest part of the city, you could see the city, and the ocean for miles.

Smash Mansion, and the city were located on an island, created by Master Hand. It was a very tropical sort of island, with a very comfy climate, where a denizen of almost any land could feel comfortable.

Usually, the city was almost completely crime free, but every once in a while, there would be an incident or two, which would be dealt with by the Smashers and Police alike.

Either you had a lot of guts, or you were supremely stupid, to commit a crime on Smash Island.

"I still can't get over Master Hand setting up this stupid play!" Bowser growled.

"Oh, come on. How much can it hurt?" Ganon asked. A random Mime ran up, and stole his coffee. "MY COFFEE!" Ganon screamed. He ran after the mime, who tripped and rolled downhill.

"…Ok." Bowser said.

He continued walking uphill, when, there was a roar of a really loud motor.

"Bugger!" Bowser yelped. He threw himself down on the pavement, just as Wario and his bike flew over the crest of the hill, followed by eight policemen.

"So much for following the law. This is going to ruin us all." Bowser said to himself as he looked towards the quickly retreating figures.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Wha ha ha! NOBODY can catch me! Even the law!" Wario proclaimed as he zoomed down road after road, always staying a step ahead of the police.

"This is your final warning!" The chief cop called out over a megaphone. "Stop now, or we will open fire!"

"Then, this is the first shot! WHA HA HA HA!!!" Wario laughed. He farted super hard, and left behind a massive, slightly luminous yellow cloud of gas. The Policemen ploughed right through it, and crashed all over the road, coughing violently. Some even vomited.

"Ha HA Ha ha!!!!!" Wario laughed triumphantly.

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"I can't believe I'm doing this…" Snake said. He pressed a button on the wall, opening the garage door. He hopped on a camouflaged motorbike, and he quickly started it up and revved the engine a few times. He shot out at high speed, and tore off down the country road towards the city.

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Marth ran for all he was worth, but somehow, it wasn't quite enough.

Behind him, there was an enormous mob of fangirls, and Marth was having trouble keeping ahead of them because of his hyperventilation attacks.

He ran uphill, with the fangirls behind him swamping the roads, and blocking off every type of traffic, EVEN air traffic!

I…am…going…to…die! Marth thought slowly, because his brain was slowly running out of oxygen.

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"Ok, Otacon, Target in sight." Snake spoke into his headset.

He was riding on his motorbike, and some ways in front of him was a yellow motorcycle, with a fat guy on it.

"Hey, Snake? You brought your gas mask, right?" Otacon asked apprehensively.

"Yeah, now why, again?"

"The target's recently used nerve gas against the police chasing after him, and they're en route to the hospital. It's very potent gas, too!"

"Ok, ok." Snake said. He put his gas mask on, and he looked like a fly. "Now what?"

"Get 'im!"

"I like that!" Snake smiled evilly inside his mask. He pumped the gas pedal a few times to make his motorcycle roar, then he floored it, and shot after the yellow cycle.

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"WHA HA HA HA HA HA HA…Huh?" Wario laughed madly, then stopped. He looked over his shoulder, and saw a masked man riding a camo motorcycle.

"Cool…I have MERCENARIES Chasing after me! I rule!" Wario laughed. "Time to treat them to some exotic smells!"

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"Snake! Watch out! There's a massive buildup of Methane near you!" Otacon yelled from the headset.

"Got it. Taking evasive action." Snake replied.

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Marth was running down an alley, heading back towards one of the main roads.

He shot across the road, just as a yellow motorcycle roared past, and expelled a massive fart. The fangirls ploughed into the cloud, and stopped dead in their tracks, coughing and screaming in agony.

Marth looked back, and the cloud loomed over him dangerously.

"…AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Marth screamed. Now he was running not from fangirls, but a murderous cloud of gas!

He ran downhill in a feeble attempt to escape…

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Snake watched as Wario expelled the fart, and it stopped a mob.

Snake pressed a button on the board between the handles, and the cycle flew over the cloud of gas, and landed safely on the other side.

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"Ok, then, if that's not gonna work, then I'll take him round the loo!" Wario plotted evilly.

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Wario revved his engine, and shot ahead.

"Not gonna leave me behind that easily, prey." Snake growled. He floored his gas pedal as well, and pursued Wario. Wario drove right towards oncoming traffic, weaving in and out of the cars. Snake did a wheelie, and hit the front bumper of a car. He shot up the hood and the windshield, skipped across the top, and landed on another car before bouncing off that one. He skipped across car after car, and landed on pavement, nearly behind Wario.

Then, Wario turned slightly, and stopped completely. Snake shot past him, and u-turned as quickly as he could. Wario did the kiss-my-butt taunt, and shot off down another alley. Snake chased after him. They shot down the alley, neither gaining of losing each other. They shot out the other end, right across a sidewalk, and into the road with traffic coming in on both sides. Wario expertly dodged the cars while causing tons of crashes, and when he reached the other side, he knocked over a few pedestrians.

Snake waited for the crashes to stop, and then he weaved his way through the wreckage before shooting off down the sidewalk after the rogue. Wario left behind another cloud of gas, and Snake turned right into the path of a car. He popped another wheelie, and the force of the collision sent Snake somersaulting into the air, screaming. He landed on the front wheel, with the back wheel sticking in the air, and his body parallel to the pavement. He was balanced, but he shot down the road with absolutely no control.

Snake threw his head back and the rear tire hit pavement again, then he floored the pedal once again, shooting after Wario. Wario drove into an empty lane, and let gravity carry him and his heavy bike down the slopes faster and faster, until Snake easily saw a gap forming. Snake drove right down the slope after him, steadily putting pressure on the pedal. The gap slowly stopped growing, then, it quickly got smaller and smaller, bringing the two close.

Snake rammed Wario, sending him flying into a subway tunnel. Snake cursed to himself, and shot after him while turning on his headlight.

Wario shot through crowds of people as they dived aside, and he shot right through a ticket booth into the empty subway tunnel. Snake stopped for a second, and looked at his watch, and the subway schedule, then chased after Wario in a frenzy.

There was a good chance they'd end up in the graveyard for this one.

He pumped the pedal again, shooting across railroad tiers. His teeth chattered violently as he bumped over the planks, and hoped he wouldn't have to get braces.

He spotted Wario's tail light. Snake balanced the motorbike's wheels on the rail closest to him, then, he shot down it at top speed, quickly gaining on Wario.

"Wario, you are Under Arrest!" Snake yelled.

"You'll be six feet under if ya mess with the Great Wario!" Wario retorted.

"Yeah? Tell that to Master Hand!" Snake countered.

"Wha? Snake?" Wario asked in disbelief.

"YEAH!" Snake yelled. "Let's get outta here. Master Hand might get you out of trouble! For a price…"

"Trouble? I AM Trouble! WHA HA HA HA!!!" Wario laughed maniacally.

"We'll both be dead if we don't get out of here now!" Snake yelled.

"Why!?!?!"

"There's why!" Snake yelled, pointing over his shoulder.

They both looked back, to see a big, white glaring light.

"…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" The screamed in unison.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!! the train blared.

The two smashers picked up speed, going faster and faster, until they reached another station. They drove to the right, just in time to avoid getting hit by the train. They shot out of the station, up the stairs leading outside, then they flew over a bunch of pedestrians, over a road, and right into another road. He dodged more cars, and shot up another sidewalk.

They were going at it for about five seconds, when Wario said,

"Ha ha! SUCKER! See ya!" Wario shot ahead, leaving Snake behind again.

"Get back here!" Snake roared.

"WHA HA HA!!! Nobody can catch me, Wario!" Wario declared.

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"Ohh, what a day." Bowser moaned. It was really sunny, and Bowser was cooking inside his shell. He sipped a lemonade he had in his hand, when, a screech of an engine reached his ears.

"Huh?" Bowser asked nothing in particular. He turned around, and suddenly, Wario shot over the crest of the hill, right towards him!

With no time to react, Bowser threw himself on the pavement, and tucked into his shell.

"Wah ha Wah ha Wha wha whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" Wario screamed. His front tire slammed into Bowser's shell and blew, then it bounced off and sent Wario and his bike flipping into the air, where it landed on the front tire, and slowly leaned forwards until Wario landed on his head, with his bike on top of him.

Snake, gas mask and all, appeared at the top of the hill, and drove towards Wario.

"…Wario, you are under arrest." Snake said, slapping handcuffs on his wrists.

"Go suck some daisy roots." Wario retorted. He struggled against Snake, but already, the police were appearing, and surrounding the area with their cars.

"Ow, my shell!" Bowser moaned.

"Well done, Bowser!" The police chief said, clapping him on his back, which caused Bowser to wince. "Sorry about that. You helped to catch a great danger to the public, and you will be rewarded!"

"Uh, wow! I don't know what to say! What do I get?" Bowser asked.

"..." The chief didn't say anything, but he handed Bowser a plastic police badge. It was a toy.

"Oh well, better than nothing." Bowser sighed. "Maybe my kid'll like it!"

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He he he…what'd ya think of it? Did I do good?

Wanna see more? I could use a few ideas, and I easily get those just by getting requests! Plenty of characters to see, peeps! Of course, I do have a plot, just not quite yet. Chapter after next will be the auditions!

Ok, well, see ya next time! I had fun, and I hope you did too!

With that said, Adieu, and Review!

-Shining Riku-