"So remember, we're just going to look at this house to prove to Sasori that Itachi and Deidara are not right, they never have been and they aren't right this time either." Zetsu said to Hidan as they waited on a cab to take them to one of the million dollar homes that Itachi and Deidara had picked out.
"Seriously, yes. We do not need a house this big or fancy or whatever." Hidan restated.
"Yes just like the time those two wanted to get cashmere cloaks for the winter months and Sasori freaked out and said that was the stupidest waste of money he'd ever heard of. And of course there was the time they wanted to have a car wash as a fundraiser for the leader and they wanted to do it right in front of our headquarters! Oh, and don't even get me started on the time those two thought that it would be a wonderful idea for us to host a fashion show for charity!" Zetsu ranted.
"Dude seriously, those ideas completely suck." Hidan said. The cab came to pick Zetsu and Hidan up and off to the million dollar home they went. The house was located outside of the center of town, 25 minutes away from the apartment. The good news, it was located on it's own property, no neighbors, that meant Akatsuki could be as noisy as they wanted without having neighbors complain. The cab driver didn't say anything as he approached a very long driveway that was gated.
"Zetsu, this place has a gate." Hidan said.
"I think we're supposed to buzz up to the realtor. Hey um….driver, push that button on the box and tell them we're here to see the house. The driver did as he was instructed and the gates were soon opened. The driver took them up the long drive.
"Alright guys, I'll be back in an hour to get you."
"Thanks." Zetsu answered as he and Hidan got out of the cab. Zetsu's eyes nearly popped out of his head.
"Hidan….Hidan….check this out." Zetsu said.
"Check what out….holy shit…..ooh my god….this is some serious shit right here….." Neither of them moved they just stared at the huge house before them, the giant fountain in front of the house, the wrap around driveway, the grand entrance, the perfectly manicured yard….everything.
"Uhhh, we should go find the realtor, you know to get this over with and tell Sasori how much it sucks ass." Zetsu said.
"Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, let's go." And so they took off toward the entrance of the grand house. Hidan rang the doorbell.
"Hi! You must be the guys interested in the house!" This realtor was a guy.
"Yes, we'd like to check it out if you don't mind showing it." Zetsu said. Hidan was staring, mouth agape at the inside of this gorgeous house. Marble , granite and hardwood everywhere. Mirrors, luxurious lighting, and the sensual white woodwork intrigued Hidan.
"Oh I'm Zetsu, this is my….Hidan! Hidan close your mouth!" Zetsu scolded.
"Oh, oh, seriously, sorry, I'm…..I'm Hidan. We're friends we're not gay together or anything."
"Okay, it's cool. Well, let me tell you a little bit about the house and show you around. First, as you can see the entire lower level of this house is open, the living room is to your right which connects to the kitchen and dining area. The entire back of the house is glass because of the pool and the view. There is a spacious utility room and bathroom on this floor which I'll show you. There is also a separate pantry on this floor. Upstairs, there is one master bedroom, which I'll tell you right now will blow you away and there are six other rooms that can be bedrooms, guest rooms, office space, whatever your intentions may be. Um, I should tell you a little about the owners….they are going through a divorce and they hate each other right now so this house is sold as is…….guys….that means this house comes fully furnished. The only things the owners will be taking with them are the cars outside in the 5 car garage and any personal items in the house. This property is actually owned by the state right now." The realtor explained. Hidan hadn't blinked since he walked in to the house. Zetsu was doing an excellent job in keeping his composure.
45 minutes later…..
"Alright, well we appreciate the tour, it's truly a gorgeous house. Can we be in touch with you? We don't have much input in the final decisions."
"Dude, that was smooth." Hidan told Zetsu.
"Sure! You two have my number just give me a call anytime, if I'm not available leave me a message." Zetsu and Hidan didn't say a single word to one another as they walked out onto the wrap around driveway to wait for their cab.
"So…..we were right Zetsu…..that house….you know sucked total ass." Hidan said.
"Well, yeah of course it did…..I mean…..god did you see those dumb ass coordinated kitchen counter tops with the matching cabinetry….god!" Zetsu said unconvincingly.
"Seriously, and that infinity edge pool with the bar and grill and spacious tile patio and the fire pit? God what the hell!? Fuck that." Hidan said. They were both silent again.
"HIDAN….I LOVED THE HOUSE…..OH MY GOD HIDAN….THE HOUSE WAS SO FREAKING AMAZING!" Zetsu said with delight.
"I KNOW ! I KNOW! I KNOW! MAN! THE ENTERTAINMENT AREA WITH THE PLASMA TV! GOD ZETSU….
"WE NEED THAT HOUSE!!!!!!" Zetsu and Hidan screamed at the same time throwing their arms around one another.
" Whoa…that's the first time we've hugged…..ever."
"Seriously, sorry about that…just……got a little excited." Well, Zetsu and Hidan would have some bad news for Sasori.
"Oh my god….that's….that's….that's like the best speech I've ever heard, yeah. It was so well thought out….and…about the part where…..where I'm good in bed…and….and….and….and the part about….Dana, yeah." Deidara was in tears and fanning himself off.
"I know man, it was pretty moving. I got kind of choked up too." Itachi said. He, Deidara and Dana were sitting at one of the VIP tables oceanfront at the Sports Illustrated gala. Marisol had just made her speech she had rehearsed before they left. And now it was time for dinner to be served. Of course, Marisol was one of the few models who was actually interested in eating. Because after she made her speech, models had first dibs on the buffet line and out of 37 models….there were four in line. Marisol turned around and motioned for Dana, Deidara and Itachi to join her.
"Dana honey, you go ahead and join her we'll be right there after your brother quits crying." Itachi said. It looked like there was plenty of food so there was no hurry.
"Okay…I need to talk to you stop crying!" itachi said after Dana left.
"I'm sorry it's just…this is such an emotional time, yeah." Deidara whined.
"I know, I know now listen…I don't know if I can propose to Dana."
"What? You're backing out on Dana, yeah?" Deidara asked drying his eyes.
"No, no, no, no, god no, it's not that it's just….." itachi paused. He was getting all choked up. "It's just that…..this is Marisol's moment and I don't want Dana's spotlight taking that from her." Itachi had teared up now.
"You….you…you are such a nice person, yeah. You know, like Orochimaru calls you a bitch and stuff, yeah. And your brother is always all…..revenge, revenge, I'm going to kill Itachi, yeah! But….your heart really isn't an empty black hole, yeah." The tears continued until both of them finally gained enough composure and when Dana and Marisol were far enough ahead in the line that they could go up to the buffet.
"You know Itachi, Marisol is not going to care, she would love to see Dana get engaged on this trip, yeah." Deidara said now that his eyes were dry. "You know that Marisol isn't one of those jealous type of girls, yeah."
"I know she's not…but….it's just that….god…this is HER time to have every bit on attention on her."
"Well, when were you going to do it, yeah?" Deidara asked.
"I don't know, before we left. Oh come here, here's what I wanted to do." Itachi leaned over and whispered something into Deidara's ear. Naturally, Deidara started crying again.
"Oh my god….I would have never thought of that, yeah…see….people always say pretty people can't be smart, yeah. But….you're…you're like….so clever to think of that, yeah. Do it Itachi, please do that, yeah."
"You're sure about this?" Itachi asked handing Deidara a buffet plate.
"Yes I'm sure, yeah." Deidara answered.