Doubt Chapter 8: From the Heart, a gravitation fanfic

CHAPTER 8

From the Heart

From the look like a wet dream come true, Shuichi." Suzumiya Tasuki pronounced, a grin sweeping across his face as he rubbed the back of his neck.

His green eyes glowed with amusement as he beheld Shuichi's outfit for the evening's concert, the launch of Bad Luck's tour. He didn't take his eyes off of the pink haired vocalist as he nudged the slim brunette next to him. "What do you think, Sachiko?"

Hinamori Sachiko tilted her head over to one side, taking her time as she scrutinised her subject. "I am not inclined to agree with Suzumiya-san's choice of words, but I agree with the implication," She tucked her left hand under her right elbow, right index finger and thumb curled gently around her chin as she contemplated the sight before her.

Shuichi stood clad in the Wardrobe department's idea of an ensemble, with low slung leather trousers cropped at the knee and titanium-detailed lightweight combat boots. The top was mostly see-through, a flimsy material that displayed portions of his muscled front and all of his back. It displayed a large glittering, sequined and beaded purple dragonfly diagonally across his chest, one of its wings extending past the fabric at his shoulder. The top clung seductively to him like a second skin, skimming the top of a studded black belt from which hung slim silver chains hooked to loops at the back of his trousers. He wore a wide leather belted bracelet on his left wrist, to match the collar about his neck. His bright pink hair was carefully moulded to rise upward and behind him, treated with glittery pink hairspray for good measure.

Shuichi watched the girl look him over further, noting how adorable she looked with her brown eyes so open and expressive. He liked what he saw in them as she perused his attire, and grinned.

"Thanks, guys!" Shuichi grabbed his lukewarm drink, a temperature best for his vocal chords, before handing his guests each a bottle of cold iced tea from the under-dresser mini fridge. He gestured for them to take a seat on his dressing room couch.

As his two guests crossed the room, Shuichi snuck a glance at his friend and found Tasuki's eyes openly admiring his assistant. His eyes slid over her long straight hair that danced at Sachiko's merest movement, the large eyes that were the same rich brown as her hair, the slim, androgenous figure so perfectly displayed...

Shuichi inwardly giggled as he watched the man's eyes burn, watching. Oh, yes, Tasuki had it bad.

Suzumiya Tasuki, an American-Japanese, had bright green eyes and red-dyed black hair. His lanky and corded frame stood six feet tall and when his chunk-shaggy hair was gelled straight up as it usually was, he looked even taller. His good looks were accentuated by his relaxed air and easy smile.

He worked as a part-time medical technician and assistant to Shuichi's specialist doctor, Akagi Mitsui. The two had met at the hospital through Akagi-sensei but one day developed their own friendship outside of the medical scene when they had gotten to talking in the hospital cafeteria.

Tasuki had moved in from America only a year previous and was, in Shuichi's opinion, bright, open and honest. Not knowing much about Bad Luck or its tumultuous history, he didn't treat the vocalist with the same fan-boy regard that most people did. He hadn't even recognised Shuichi when they first met at the hospital, although he had mentioned he noticed how his new friend shared the same name and looks as a certain lead singer…

Shuichi had laughed at that, refreshed by the honest puzzlement. They cleared the air and, to Shuichi's intense appreciation, nothing changed between them, he was never treated differently than before. Tasuki was very natural, and Shuichi found he'd made a genuinely good, if fast, friend.

Their developing friendship had brought the two closer creatively, as well. Working part time at the hospital was just a job to Tasuki, whose true passion lay in music and, skilled as a dancer, he fancied himself a budding choreographer. While Shuichi knew nothing about Tasuki's choreographic abilities, he thought Tasuki was dynamite on the dance floor.

Their talks about music and dance introduced Shuichi to a new perspective, and he found himself brimming with plenty of new ideas to bring into the work place. Yet, all the dancer had ever asked for in return was his easy going friendship… maybe a few advance copy singles and back stage passes but then he would have supplied those anyway.

It was, Shuichi thought, taking another sip of water, a good friendship for both of them. He needed someone he could be honest with. Tasuki and Sachiko were also the only two people aside from K, Tohma and the rest of Nittle Grasper, who knew about the singer's health problem.

Gods, he missed Hiro. But the simple fact was he'd only worry if he knew what Shuichi was dealing with right now. He'd worry and coddle, and right now that was the last thing Shuichi needed. Right now, he needed to work; he needed to sing.

He needed ... not to think about the people he was hurting with his silence, the people who were better off not knowing… at least until after the tour. He'd tell them all about it soon, of course. They'd have to know before the surgery, and the truth would have to come from him.

Eventually.

"I'm glad you made it so early," Shuichi turned his gaze on Sachiko as she sat, eyes twinkling, "And happier that Tasuki convinced you to come."

Sachiko gave a small smile as she replied, "Well, you two nagged me enough," and sipped her drink, eyes downcast, a suspicious pale blush making its way across her high cheekbones. She was still unaccustomed to treating her superior as the friend he asked to be regarded as, but she was adjusting. She was quickly taking to Shuichi's warm treatment and honest personality.

Tasuki grinned down at her, commenting, "And you are looking ravishing this evening, as well, if I may say so?" With respectful admiration, he eyed her slim-fitting daisy print off-shoulder cream dress.

"Why, thank you, kind sir," She exaggeratedly returned.

Shuichi grinned, watching the dancer's eyes flare. Sachiko missed the expression, having rolled her eyes away to flash Shuichi an amused smile. He focused on the besotted boy beside her, "I hope my concert isn't going to keep you up too late, I know you have work tomorrow."

With effort, Tasuki pulled his eyes away from the beauty beside him, and shook his head in negation, "Don't worry, I told Akagi-sensei that I would be here with you tonight and that I'll be in late tomorrow." He gestured to the singer, "She's expecting us to be in at about the same time, which she mentioned would be fine since you are her only patient tomorrow."

He propped his right ankle over his left knee, lounged back and slung his arms over the back of the couch, his hand drifting only a centimetre or two above Sachiko's bare shoulder. He resisted the urge to 'accidentally' graze his fingertips over her skin, and instead glanced at the many flower arrangements and bouquets lined up along the shelves to one side of the dressing room.

He quirked a brow at Shuichi, "Say, Shu, are any of those from someone that counts?"

Shuichi smiled a little, a partly sad yet calm smile.

Tasuki liked teasing him like this, not knowing how painful the topic of romance was but Shuichi forgave him since he didn't understand the full story. He was thankful to have these two new friends with him at this point in his life, but was glad that that neither of them could read him as well as they thought.

"Hiro and I traded the usual," He said, pointing out a potted plant which sat on his dresser table in a place of honour, lavender petunias blooming forth.

At Sachiko's questioning look, Shuichi explained, "We started it back in high school when the girls put a little too much pressure on Hiro, and he needed an anonymous admirer." Shuichi grinned at the memory, real warmth in his expression. "He reciprocated later in the day, nipped his first pot of petunias from his mom's garden and it's been a tradition of ours ever since." He held up a hand, "Well, at least the flower pots are but he doesn't steal them from his mom anymore… I think."

Sachiko smiled, commenting, "You certainly have a very close relationship with Nakano-san."

Tasuki shook his head, brushing aside talk of the guitarist, "That isn't who I was referring to, Shuichi, and you know it…"

Eiri had frowned, "Excuse me?"

Miho-san's smile did not waver though the blonde made no move to accept the beautifully assembled flower arrangement offered. Left with little else, he set it down at the writer's feet before the doorway and gestured to it as he straightened back up. "This is for you, Yuki-sama," He bowed before turning to leave with a cheery wave. "Happy Valentine's Day!"

Eiri glowered down at the striking bouquet before him that was so high it came up past his knees. Three dozen roses in a pink basket simply adorned with sprigs of Baby's Breath and curly white ribbons –an eerily familiar flower arrangement. He knew who this was from and it bothered him, confused him.

This was not making any sense at all.

But he bent, picked it up and brought it into his apartment. He set it down on the hall table beside the door and stood back to frown at it some more.

Shuichi sending him flowers was not a thought he wanted to ponder too deeply.

He scowled as he considered the delivery man, Miho-san. The man took care of all Shuichi's flower needs, making deliveries clear across the city at every special occasion for his favourite customer. Perhaps this was an automatic delivery? Maybe Shuichi had a standing order for this bouquet to be delivered every Valentine's Day…?

Eiri sighed and turned back down the hall toward his bedroom to attend to his clothing for the night, considering the flowers a little further. His lover had had the flowers delivered to this residence every Valentine's Day for the past two years, but never when Eiri was around, never before Shuichi could present it himself. It was also usually escorted by chocolates, crème caramel and one very delectable…

Argh. Not good to remember things like that. The blonde shook his head.

And now he was shaking it again at the memory.

He shifted in his very comfortable seat in the front left VIP wing of the Zepp Tokyo hall for Bad Luck's tour launch concert.

'BAD LUCK: Twelve Kisses tour' spelled the banners sealed with a rosebud caricature, the tour logo. This night's performance would be the first of the band's dozen concerts, each themed in romance. The raffle prizes and other promotional contests had everything to do with drawing the public eye to the musical trio as romantic figures.

There had been a highly-publicised NG dress-up photo shoot, depicting each band member dressed to a theme. They had posed as bad boys, biker hogs, geeky nerds, and, of course, sexy hunks… among other things.

Eiri, certain that it was his current greatest source of embarrassment, had a purchased a copy of the photo collection book.

The novelist glanced over at his sister and her husband as they posed for the photographers cordoned off to one side of the venue, before lifting his eyes to the stage off to his left. Shuichi would be standing right there very soon…

There was little to spend his attention on while he waited but watch the arriving guests, and he wished he had brought his laptop. He did not want to think about what was to come tonight, the shock of seeing Shuichi again and in concert, no less. There was no choice but to listen to the noise that filled the arena, of the crowds talking and squealing, excited for the show to begin. The venue was packed to capacity and the acoustics made the chatter resound about the place.

It was giving him a headache.

He massaged his right temple, left hand in his lap of elegantly crossed legs. There was a flash of light and his mind registered that his picture had been taken, thankful that at least his hand had been in the way. Damn long-range lens and flash. He slipped on a mask of indifference and schooled his features to display an air of polite boredom.

Tohma and Mika passed wordlessly by as they came to receive a troop of guests who had just arrived. The couple traded nods with Eiri as they passed, Mika smiling gently at him, obviously pleased he had made his appearance.

Eiri tuned their English conversation out until he heard i his /i name.

"Yes, his given name is a little tricky to pronounce," Tohma was saying. He tilted his head as he listened to his guest before he and his wife laughed lightly with genuine mirth, "No, I don't think it's a good idea to say it as 'shoe-itchy'… Perhaps you might prefer to address him by surname as Mattieu does?" Tohma smiled, nodding, "Yes, I had realised the dance remixes were garnering some attention… Thank you, I am pleased that you would consider having the group visit America…"

Eiri's jaw clenched as he turned to look at the group crowded about the NG president and his wife. His gaze paused on a tall blonde in a pristine cream coloured silk suit.

The man had slightly long pale blonde hair, of a similar length and cut to Eiri's own, and pale blue eyes. The man's carriage was rather elegant as was his dress sense, right down to the blue ruffled dress shirt. His slender features would have looked rather gangly but he was well built and moved with a grace that would not be missed. Already he could hear the chatter behind him from the public section.

"Who is that tall blonde? Is that tall blonde over there Yuki Eiri? … No, no, no, see that one seated ahead of us, i that's /i Yuki Eiri there… Oh, doesn't that tall blonde over there look just beautiful?"

"It is a shame you missed the album launch, but I can arrange for Shindou-san to meet you at the tour party later," Tohma was saying, snapping Eiri out of his daze. His irritation increased two fold: someone would be meeting with his Shuichi.

He groaned inwardly and sighed, remembering that Shuichi was no longer 'his'.

The event hall lights blinked, signalling the intention to begin the concert. Groups broke apart and went to find their seats, and in the public area behind Eiri, the loud chatter died down into a low excited thrum. As the semi-darkness finally descended, Tohma slid into the seat beside Eiri, Mika to her husband's other side.

"Tall, blonde and smokes," Tohma murmured, following Eiri's gaze. "Shindou-san, at the album launch party, glared at him in much the same way you are doing now."

The writer turned his icy gaze on the man next to him, who chuckled in an off handed manner.

"Do not worry, Eiri-san," Tohma settled himself into his seat and turned his gaze toward the stage as the crowd welcomed the MC, raising his voice to be heard above the din, "If it reassures you at all, Shindou-san was quite nice to him."

Eiri was intensely annoyed for a moment before suddenly realizing he would prefer that Shuichi were nice to his look-alike, than give him the cold shoulder just over the similarity. It gave him an absurd, small sense of hope.

He fixed his eyes on the MC who welcomed the night's opening act, some group named Jubilee, and ignored the last few people coming to take their seats in the VIP box. He started as he realised the MC had just mentioned that Shindou Shuichi of Bad Luck had written the new group's newest hit, 'Tomorrow' with which the group would open the night.

The crowds cheered, giving a rather more than usual warm reception to the opening band. The opening acoustic guitar was not to Eiri's liking, but the style of the break into pop beat sounded very familiar.

And I want to believe you, when you tell me that it'll be okay
Yeah, I try to believe you, but I don't…

When you say that it's going to be
It always turns out to be a different way
I try to believe you
Not today, today, today, today, today...

I don't know how I feel
Tomorrow, tomorrow
I don't know what to say
Tomorrow, tomorrow… Is a different day

It's always been up to you, It's turning around, It's up to me
I'm going to do what I have to do
Just don't…

Give me a little time, Leave me alone a little while
Maybe it's not too late
Not today, today, today, today, today...

I don't know how I feel
Tomorrow, tomorrow
I don't know what to say
Tomorrow, tomorrow… Is a different day

And I know I'm not ready, Maybe tomorrow?

And I want to believe you, when you tell me that it'll be ok,
Yeah, I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...

But tomorrow it may change… (2)

Eiri reeled at what he knew where Shuichi's heartfelt words. As a song writer, Shuichi had never failed to write his truest feelings and over the time since their break up, the words were all the more honest. He was suddenly struck with the idea that he would very likely go nuts trying to interpret this night… The crowd cheered their approval as the pretty little girl of a lead singer grinned at them all. She waved and gestured for everyone to calm down.

"We are 'Jubilee' and didn't you animals like our opening song, huh?!"

The audience responded excitedly.

The girl plucked at the bass guitar slung on her slight shoulder, "This next song is one of my favourites, never mind the angst of it, it's called 'Unwanted'…" The crowds drowned out her words with their enthusiasm. She waited for the noise levels to come back down, she and the band prolonging the song intro.

Eiri was rather certain he had heard this song before…

"Do you know who wrote this song?" She asked them, smiling happily.

Eiri's brows rose as the crowd began to chant the name of Bad Luck's lead singer. i That /i he had not known. The cries rose into deafening screams as the man in question unexpectedly stepped out from side stage, a guitar slung over his shoulder. His hands gripped the armrests of his seat as he leaned forward, eyes drinking in the sight of the handsome young man upon the stage. His breathe caught as he carefully watched his personal walking dream, who plugged in his instrument.

i Guitar/i He knew Shuichi played the keyboard and piano, but since when did he play the guitar and could he even play it well?

The band's energy changed, and the drummer brought his hands down harshly over his instruments. Eiri was shocked when Shuichi slammed his hand down harshly yet skilfully across the strings, and drew out the opening melody of the song.

All that I did was walk over Start off by shaking your hands, that's how it went
I had a smile on my face and I sat up straight
Oh… yeah, yeah…

I wanted to know you, I wanted to show you

Eiri started when Shuichi stepped forward to a second microphone and sang the chorus with the Jubilee lead singer. Shuichi's eyes closed, and his hands kept at his strumming while his voice melded smoothly with hers.

You don't know me; don't ignore me
You don't want me there, you just shut me out
You don't know me, don't ignore me,
If you had your way, you'd just shut me up
And make me go away…

No, I just don't understand why you won't talk to me
It hurts that I'm so unwanted for nothing
Don't talk words against me

I wanted to know you, I wanted to show you

You don't know me; don't ignore me
You don't want me there, you just shut me out
You don't know me, don't ignore me,
If you had your way, you'd just shut me up
And make me go away…

Make me go away…

I tried to belong, it didn't seem wrong; my head aches
Its been so long, I'll write this song if that's what it takes

You don't know me; don't ignore me
You don't want me there, you just shut me out
You don't know me, don't ignore me,
If you had your way, you'd just shut me up
And make me go away…

You make me go away… (3)

The band and Shuichi were a powerful combination, the resonance of their energy echoing over and over again throughout the arena. Shuichi's compelling gaze was magnified by the gigantic screens mounted above the stage and throughout the venue. He had the entire audience bound, making music not just with his voice and the guitar, but with his entire being as though music and sound exploded from each pore. One could sense the intent from every nuance in his tense body, his voice's possession of each note and word conveying the feelings behind the music.

Eiri tore his gaze away from the beautiful sight on stage and turned to find Tohma carefully studying him. He could not hide the moisture in his eyes, nor the wrench of his heart reflected in them. He shook his head, not quite certain of very much at the moment, and leaned to rest his forehead in his left hand propped up by the elbow on the armrest.

Tohma took his other hand and squeezed it reassuringly, but how was Eiri supposed to stand the next two hours watching the man he loved speak of his emotions for the novelist sitting so stricken nearby? The writer could not help but be struck by the heart and soul, the intense emotions, behind each word.

It echoed down into his being and he was overcome with the heartache of it all, the salty wetness sliding silently down his pale cheeks.

By the time Ryuichi made his guest appearance for their closing song to sing Shining Collection, he was certain nothing could help him.

He was emotionally battered black and blue, seeing and hearing Shuichi sing the songs of the new album. It had been different listening to the music alone off a CD, he hadn't had to see the expression on Shuichi's face as he sang them. He hadn't had to feel the words as sung from the man who felt them.

He didn't think he could take much more of this, and it was now time for Shining Collection.

Never mind that it was he, Eiri, who had written this song, written it for Shuichi. Never mind that it had always calmed him in the past, hearing the pink haired vocalist singing it. No, it was a further slap to his face to hear it without Shuichi's voice caressing each word. The passion the singer had had in the past for this song was no longer there, and without that passion, the words were as good as meaningless. The music vibrated richly, the heart in the song alive but while Shuichi belted it out with feeling, he did so without love.

Eiri felt as though he had just walked out of a therapy session. As the song progressed, the steadily increasing ache in his chest suddenly peaked. He clutched at it, drawing concerned glances from his sister and from Tohma. There was a choking lump in his throat that he could not swallow down.

As the performance ended, and everyone trooped off stage, Eiri felt his body unclench but a little. He had been sitting defensively, legs and arms crossed, tension strong in his posture. The assault was finally over.

That is, until the audience demanded an encore. He sighed, steeling himself to bear one last song, whatever it would be.

He had not expected Shuichi to return by himself, guitar again slung over his shoulder and chest, bearing a red rose. He watched the singer approach the microphone and, waving to the cheering audience, held the flower up for all to see. The monstrosity of a screen mounted above the stage showed an angled close-up view of the singer, who looked clearly mischievous.

"To all of you watching at home, who have tickets to the tour," Shuichi was grinning madly, "I have a surprise for you that I am sure you will love." He looked quite pleased with himself indeed, as he gestured with the flower in his hand.

Eiri watched behind hooded eyes.

"Before each concert, at the opening press conference, we will announce a raffle winner," Shuichi cleared his obviously tired throat carefully. "Every ticket purchase is a chance to win, so you don't have to do anything. The winner will be selected randomly and that lucky person will be called up here on stage…"

He got no further as the noise level drowned out his words. There was noise of disappointment for a lack of a winner that evening and even simple blind excitement at the mere idea of being on stage with the band. Shuichi had to wait for them to calm.

"The winner will be called up on stage where the band members will each present a rose, and sing our closing song for him or her."

Eiri did not like that idea at all.

Upon the stage, the performer waved a hand to gesture generally behind himself at the rest of the stage. "There will also be a goodie bag which will including a copy of our new album, i Semblance of Self /i , which we will autograph here on stage for that lucky someone." Shuichi maintained his smile, keeping everyone on tenterhooks. "Unfortunately, Tokyo will have to stew and wait until our closing concert for its winner." The audience groaned in unison, the underlying tension and excitement still evident. "So for tonight…"

That got the crowd's attention.

"For tonight, I would like to invite someone special to me on stage."

Eiri froze.

"This person has been wonderful to me. Has helped me stay sane and remember my roots in spite all of the madness," he smiled a little sadly. "And most of all, made me face the world when I felt like giving up."

Shuichi, holding out the rose, turned to face the VIP section.

Their eyes met.

Eiri watched Shuichi stiffen in shock along with him, in unison.

That expression in the singer's eyes cleared away any ideas that it might have been he, Eiri, who would be invited on stage. It was obvious that the younger man had had no idea that he was here. They stared at each other in stunned silence, and Eiri quite forgot where he was as he drowned in that lavender gaze.

It took the spotlight sweeping over and stopping somewhere to Eiri's right, and a free-running camera man cutting between their line of sight to bring Shuichi out of his stare. The audience noise rose to a deafening volume, jolting them both further and finally completely out of their shared trance.

Eiri saw, behind Shuichi, the giant screen showing Mika's embarrassed face, Tohma just barely in the frame. The free-running camera man had come up close and personal to capture her reaction. This was all pre-planned, so the crew had homed in on their target, not realising he was there. He was thankful for that and turned to watch as Tohma escorted his wife to the foot of the stage side staircase and hand her up to Hiroshi, cameras flashing madly. The guitarist had materialised from off stage and, his own guitar in sling, brought her to Shuichi's side at centre stage.

The two performers fussed a little over their guest, settling her into a stool between them. They plugged in their matching acoustic guitars, and turned back to the microphones.

"Everyone, this is Seguchi Mika," Shuichi's smile was restored when the crowd cheered loudly at the introduction.

Mika smiled at the warm reception. They knew who she was.

Nodding to each other, watching the other carefully, the two best friends strummed in harmony. Shuichi's voice came out clear and powerful without the blaring beats and synthesisers to pollute it, dancing over the words to Anti-Nostalgic:

Toumei ga yozora somete hitori aruku itsumo no kaerimichi

Kuchizusamu konna kimochi nemuru kimi ni todoketai na... oh hmmm...

(Transparency dyes the night sky and I walk alone on this home ward bound road

I sing to myself, wishing to send these feelings to you as you sleep, oh hmmm...)

Hiro leaned in to sing with Shuichi, his low and rough voice providing the perfect contrast.

Nani ka ni obieteru jibun ga chotto iya ni naru tsugeru omoi torinokoshita hibi ni...

doko ka ni wasureteru kokoro ga chotto itakunaru, toki wo tsunagu hoshi no yoru ni kimi wo sagashiteru

(I'm tangled up in something now

I'm getting a little sick of myself, bound by these feelings I still carry from my past...

My neglected heart is starting to hurt a little, and I keep searching for you beneath the starlight of that night)

Toozakaru kumo ni nosete boku no kimochi tachidomaru kaerimichi

Kimi wa mou yume no tsuzuki todoku hazu mo nai koto da to wakatteiru

(I pause on this path I walk and place my feelings upon the receding clouds

You are already a part of my continuing dreams though I know that these (feelings) can't possibly reach you now)

Hiro and Shuichi's eyes met as they sang, the heat in their gazes mirroring the other. Their shared passion for music brought out their love for each other, that special bond that the two friends shared.

Watching this, Eiri felt like all the breath had been forced out of him. A supportive hand closed on his once more, Tohma, he supposed. It was not enough.

Namida ga koboreteru egao ga chotto hoshikunaru kimi no soba ni ireru dake de boku wa...

Dare ka ga toikakeru rikutsu ga motto hoshikunaru kieru kage ni mabushisugita hibi wo utsushiteru

(The tears keep falling… Just by being able to be close to you, I'm starting to want to smile, just a little...

Someone asks questions, and I'm starting to want this (relationship) to make more sense,

Of how you cast those too-brilliant days into a fading shadow)

Nani ka ni obieteru jibun ga chotto iya ni naru tsugeru omoi torinokoshita hibi ni...

Doko ka ni wasureteru kokoro ga chotto itakunaru toki wo tsunagu hoshi no yoru ni kimi wo sagashiteru… (3)

(I'm tangled up in something now

I'm getting a little sick of myself, bound by these feelings I still carry from my past...

My neglected heart is starting to hurt a little, and I keep searching for you beneath the starlight of that night…)

The noise of the crowd drowned out the closing chords, all eyes trained on the venue screens. Shuichi opened eyes he had closed for the heart felt closing lyrics of the song, a smile spreading its way across his happy face. He spoke again once the cheering had died down a bit, "As some of you may know, Hiro is my best friend."

Who didn't know?

"He has been the closest thing to family I have had since we moved out here to Tokyo to pursue our music career with NG… and he is my very best friend in the world." He looked lovingly over at his auburn haired friend, who returned the soft smile. The cameras captured every moment of the exchange, posting it all on the screens.

The crowd voiced their appreciation.

Shuichi turned back to the microphone. "And here sits Mika-san who has been just amazing to me, whose help and friendship I greatly appreciate, who has seen me through so much these last two and a half years. Thank you to you both for… everything." He smiled at the two beside him with an expression so honestly thankful and loving that Eiri looked away.

The audience loved it and made their love known. They were drawn into that little space between the trio upon the stage, the emotion real and enthralling, broadcast for each person to see by the efficient camera men.

But while these ticket buyers could not tear their eyes away from the sight before them, for Eiri it was too painful to see. That adoring expression was much too achingly familiar and he remembered how it felt to be its recipient.

Ignoring how his hands shook, he got up and left.

(1) "Tomorrow" by Avril Lavigne

(2) "Unwanted" by Avril Lavigne

(3) "Anti-Nostalgic" as performed by Kotani Kinya

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