Heh heh, originally, I was going to have Nana's parka catch on fire somehow, and call the chapter Red Burning Hood, but it didn't fit in, and I just called it Red Riding Hood.
MH: Someday, Crazy will get what he deserves!
Whatever! He's the comic relief! He has to stay in! Anyways, this chapter will be full of more of what you love, and I really am going to have some spoofs in this one! So far, last chapter was by far the longest chapter in this story. We'll see if this one gets to be about as long or longer.
Ok, now that that's said, I think it's time to give everybody an appropriate, THANK YOU:D!
Let's go!
Oh yeah, before I forget, 'The Taming of the Shrew' will most likely be a few chapters long, just for convenience. I'd stick it all in one chapter, but that'd slow up updating, and make it hard to read. SO…I'm not gonna do that.
See ya at the end of the chapter!
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"Heh heh…HA HA HA!!!" Master Hand laughed. "You call that tissue box perfect?"
"Why? What's wrong with it?" Crazy asked worriedly.
"What's wrong with it!?!?" Master Hand laughed hysterically. "It doesn't have any controls!"
"Oh, darn it! I knew something was missing!" Crazy wailed.
"Now, sit tight while I beat the crap out of you!" Master hand said.
SMASH!
POW!
BAM!
"MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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The scene was hovering above a tiny house, in what suspiciously looked like the same forest as before.
It was in a small open clearing, and it had a tiny, sad little garden, and also a cow.
Inside, you could hear Zelda, with a somewhat aged voice, talking to young Link.
"…Now go an' take the cow to town an' sell it. We have no money, and we're desperately in need of money an' food." Zelda said sadly.
"We have those tough crackers!" Y. Link said. "Why can't we just eat those?"
"What, those sheet iron crackers?" Zelda gagged. "My teeth are getting fragile! Heck no! If YOU'RE content to eat them, then, help yourself!"
"Never mind."
"Now, go an' sell the poor cow, like a good boy." Zelda said. "I'm sure it'll be happier somewhere else where it'll actually get FED."
Y. Link sighed, then came into sight as he exited the house. He was wearing his usual clothing, nothing different about him.
He walked over to the cow, and none to harshly grabbed its collar and started pulling it along. Before they got to the bottom of the hill, the cow stopped walking, and it stood there lazily.
"Oh, come on!" Y. Link said exasperatedly. He walked behind it, and started pushing it, but the cow wouldn't budge.
Suddenly, the cow got the urge to sit down.
Needless to say, Y. Link was stuck there for a while.
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"Ha…ha…ha…" Master Hand panted.
Crazy hand lay motionless on the ground, lying inside half of the plastic dome on the ground, while everything else left of the machine was everywhere. Paper shreds, plastic shards, you name it.
"That…should teach you a lesson for now." Master hand said.
"I'm too ignorant to learn! Ha ha ha!" Crazy laughed. He got right back up, just as energetic as before!
"How can you do that?" Master hand asked weakly.
"You are messin' with the Crazy! Feel the burn, baby!" Crazy said.
"God, have mercy on me!" Master hand pleaded.
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Y. Link finally got into town, towing behind him a cow with a badly slashed up butt.
Things got drastic, and Y. Link used his Kokiri sword to get free. It worked pretty well, too.
Now, the slightly squashed young hero walked into town with the beef in tow. He went from one salesperson to the next, and each time they rejected the raw beef.
So, Y. Link left town with the sad beef in tow, when he happened upon a slippery looking individual in a trench cloak.
"I can't believe I'm doing this." Felious whispered.
"It fits you." Y. Link assured him.
"Hss!" He hissed at him rather angrily, but still only so Y Link could hear.
"So, whatcha got there, kid?" He asked Y. Link.
"Huh? Me?" Y. Link asked.
"Yeah, you, kid. Who else is out here, ya dolt?"
"Hey!" Y. Link said.
"Tell ya what, green." Felious said. "I'll buy your cow."
"How much you willing to pay?" Y. Link asked. "I need a lot for it, and everybody refuses."
"A lotta money for this sad piece of beef?" Felious snorted. "This poor cow ain't worth much, but I'll take it off your hands." He drew a small pouch from his pocket, and placed it in Y. Link's hands. He opened it up, and looked inside.
"Hey! These're only beans!" Y. Link exclaimed. He looked up, but his cow and the man were already gone.
"…Momma's gonna kill me." Y. Link whispered.
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"I'm gonna kill you!" Zelda screeched.
She throttled the poor young lad, who knew this was going to happen the moment he obtained the beans.
"Beans!?!?!? BEANS!?!?!? Of all the things, BEANS!!!!!!!!!!!" Zelda ranted. She stomped over to the cupboard, and threw it open. In plain sight were towers of cans…of beans.
"Doesn't it look like we have enough beans!?!?!?" Zelda screamed. "Even worse, the beans you got are USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Y. Link, or jack in this story, cringed as the wave of high pitched sound blasted into him like a cannonball.
"LOOK AT THEM!!!!!!!!!" She screamed even louder as she thrust the beans into his face. He crossed his eyes, to focus on the beans that threatened to go up his nostrils. They were originally a bright red, but now they were tinged green, and were furry. Y. Link's nose protested, but he could do nothing as Zelda threatened to clog his sinuses.
"Useless, ya can't eat them, and even if they were ok, I STILL wouldn't be caught dead eating them! This, is trash."
With a smooth movement, she flung the window open, and tossed the beans out of the window. She slammed the window closed, then walked into the kitchen.
Y. Link pondered what she could be doing, when she walked out with a formidable broom in her hands.
"Now, to get on with what I promised you." She said simply.
Y. Link didn't even wait to find out what she meant: He knew it wasn't good.
He bolted out the door as the broom flew after him, then turned sharply left. The broom hurtled out the door, and stuck in the ground, quivering like a lethal javelin that missed its target. Y. Link continued running, and was about halfway behind the house, when Zelda exited the house, armed to the teeth with an assortment of lethal kitchenware.
Oblivious to his surroundings, Y. Link didn't notice a gigantic beanstalk in his panic. He plowed right into it, and fell back on his rear while rubbing his head ruefully.
"…Huh? Where did this come from?" He wondered out loud. He quickly made up his mind what he was going to do next, when Zelda roared in anger, not unlike an unhappy lioness who lost her prey.
Y. Link hid on the other side of the plant, and scurried up the long trunk while his evil mom searched for him below.
All he was focused on now, was the clouds at the top of the beanstalk.
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"I-Impossible…" Master Hand stuttered feebly. He fluttered to the ground, like a butterfly that lost the spirit to fly.
"YOU…Can't defeat me!!!!" Crazy laughed manically.
"N-no…Can't…Let you…win…" Master hand whispered weakly.
"I have earned the right to the throne of superness!" Crazy cried. "I shall create my OWN world, where I reign, and people play by my rules!"
"Madness!" Master hand wailed.
"Now, to go and ruin a play!" Crazy laughed gleefully. "Oh, yeah, don't get any ideas, Master Hand. I'm just gonna play around with a few computer created characters!"
"You think it's just a video game!?!?!?" Master hand yelled.
"Sure! Why not?" Crazy asked.
"…"
"What?"
"AFTER the plays, not during them!" Master hand yelled. He seemed to find his energy again, and the two hands spiraled around each other.
"C'mon!" Crazy whined.
"No!"
"Then….WE DUEL!" Crazy screamed.
"…Just kill me now…please." Master hand whispered fervently.
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Ness was wandering the hallways of the mansion, just looking around.
He wasn't the least bit interested in the plays, and he had free reign of the mansion, so he was just taking a walk for the heck of it. He felt the need to refocus his mind, anyways.
He was walking down the hallway, when he passed an old door with an old, tarnished, unreadable name plague on it.
Ya know, I've never been in there before. Master hand won't mind. Ness thought.
He carefully walked up to it, then pushed the creaky door open. The door squeaked slowly as he pushed it open, and he laid his eyes on the dark room ahead.
It's that one boarded up room! Ness exclaimed mentally. He stepped into the room and closed the door, which made it dark once again. The windows on the opposite wall were boarded up, on the inside and the outside, and a crack of light shone through one of the rotted boards.
Ness tread upon the dusty floor lightly: It looked like he was the first to dare to walk in here for a long time. Only, he thought that before he looked at the ground. There were dusty boot prints on the floor, among the old wooden furniture scattered about in what used to be an attractive arrangement. He walked across the soft carpet, sending up tiny clouds of dust with each step.
He followed the footsteps to an old desk, which had a few drawers. One of the drawers was less dusty than the others, so he tried opening it up.
He felt the cold metal ring attached to the drawer, then pulled. It didn't budge. Ness sighed exasperatedly, then looked inside the drawer with his mind, and found the little lock that was between him, and what he felt to be important.
The lock snapped like a twig, then the young psychic pulled the drawer open. All that was inside was an old, tattered black diary.
"Huh?" Ness said. He carefully grasped the book, and sat down on a nearby chair to start reading it.
He had a hard time reading the writing, it was so fine, and curved. It was pretty writing, to be certain.
He was so absorbed in his reading, he didn't notice the black figure melting out of the darkness behind his back.
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"Heh…heh…heh…heh…" Y. Link panted. He scrambled up the beanstalk, which seemed to extend into infinity.
He was thinking about just dropping off, ending his misery, when he popped through the clouds.
He let go to fall to his premature death, when he fell on the clouds with a thump. He opened his eyes, and looked around.
"Dang, I went to heaven fast!" He exclaimed. In the distance, there was a huge stone castle, which looked inviting.
He ran towards it for all he was worth, and in about a minute, he stood before the giant gates, out of breath. He was wondering how he was going to get in, when the drawbridge fell on top of him.
"Fe…Fi…Fo…HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bowser roared. "I smell the scent of…BEANS!?!?!"
Y. Link was flattened below the door, and was spared the choice of answering.
"…Grrr….I hate beans." Bowser said. "I thought I heard some kid running. Oh well." He walked his giant body back into the huge castle, and made the drawbridge go up. Y. link clung to the gate as it slowly went up, then climbed to the top of it and watched as Giant Bowser walked out of sight. He swung his legs over the other side, and crawled down as carefully as he could. When he was down far enough, he dropped to the floor.
He took a quick look around, and nearly jumped out of his skin when the floor rumbled beneath his feet. He danced on his toes in his fright, while he looked about for a hiding place. He saw a clothes chute, and dived down it just as Bowser reappeared.
"Ok, I'm SURE I smelt something other than beans that time!" Bowser growled.
Down in the chute, Y. Link shot down it for a bit, then fell through an open space. He landed in a soft pile of clothes, but it was pitch black, and he couldn't see a thing.
Until there was a golden flash of light.
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Crazy Hand and Master Hand flew around each other at super speed, while taking swings, slaps, pokes, anything, at each other while passing by.
They spun around each other for a moment, without attacking, and then they both curled into fists and hurtled at each other. They collided in a giant explosion, and amidst the smoke and flames, the grappled with each other.
They bashed around the auditorium, smashing into walls, breaking chairs, and every once in a while, the lights on the ceiling.
The two finally pinned each other to the ground, in the middle of the room, and they thrashed about wildly, damaging the floor even more.
"Give up!" Crazy demanded.
"Never!" Master Hand declared.
They tussled for a bit more, then Crazy flicked Master hand off. Master Hand flew through the air, and came to a rest on a pile of destroyed chairs, unmoving.
"Ha ha! I am VICTORIOUS!" Crazy screamed insanely, while the background caught aflame.
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Ness sat still in his chair, speed reading through the book, when he suddenly sensed the being behind him.
A split second later, he was on the floor, and gigantic spikes erupted from all over the chair, while turning pitch black. Ness had avoided the spikes, and only just in time!
"What the fudge!?!?" Ness yelped in fright. He watched as the chair turned black, and the spikes grow. The buttons on the chair split in half, revealing red orbs of light, which were eyes.
"It's one of those…Things!" Ness screamed.
The chair hopped at him, and attempted to jump on top of him, but he threw it against the wall with telekinesis. He chair's spikes got stuck in the wall, hanging it up like a picture.
Ness shot a bolt of lightning at it from his fingers, and it instantly burst into flames. He froze the wall around it with PK Freeze to prevent the fire from spreading, and watched as it slowly burned away.
Suddenly, the demon exploded, and showered the room in a thin film of black ooze. Ness screamed in agony as it sprayed his body, and he fell on his back, writhing, as the ooze seeped into his body.
His breathing grew faster, and he slowly went numb as a deathly chill spread throughout his body, making him incapable of movement.
His thoughts started to become foggy, and his eyelids grew heavy. His mind was spinning around the cryptic words in the book, when his head rolled to the side as his eyes closed.
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When Y. Link opened his eyes after the flash, he could see a glowing silhouette.
Looking upon it, he noticed it was mouse shaped. He climbed out of the basket, and through the piles of junk around him. Upon closer inspection, it was a golden Pichu!
"Pichu!" Pichu squealed, making more golden light.
"Wow…" Y. Link said.
The two looked at each other, when Pichu grunted. There was a clang, and another glow appeared, a Golden egg!?!?
"…I didn't know you could lay eggs!" Y. Link whispered.
"Pichu…" Pichu muttered nervously while fiddling with her tail.
"Wow, a golden Pichu!" Y. Link said, as his lines called for. "I better take this back to mom! We'll be rich!"
He picked Pichu up, who had certainly gained a bunch of weight, since she was made of living gold. He was about to walk out of the room, when the ground started shaking again. He scampered behind a tower of junk, and Bowser reappeared once again.
"I KNOW you're in here, ya varmint! As much as I dislike Bean-eaters, I'm hungry, and could care less!" Bowser roared.
"Bugger…" Y. Link muttered. "How am I gonna escape now?"
"I'm going to sit here ALL night, watching this room if I have to!" Bowser said.
"Huh…" Y. Link said. He looked about desperately, and then spotted an odd instrument. An idea popped into his head, and he walked over to it quietly and started playing it. It sounded beautiful and angelic, and before long, he could hear Bowser snoring.
"That was toooooo easy!" Y. Link said. He grabbed the instrument, and hefted Pichu under one arm, and snuck past Bowser on the stairs. When he was up the staircase all the way, Pichu laid another egg, which bounced down the stairs.
"NOO!!"" Y. Link screamed.
The egg bounced right off Bowser's head, but by a miracle, he stayed asleep.
"Whew…" Y. Link sighed. No sooner than he sighed, the egg exploded with a bang like a cannon. Bowser screamed in surprise, but the yell was quickly turned to a roar of fury.
Y. Link fled for his life, to the gate. He threw Pichu at the release button, and caught her. The release button caused the gate to open, and he dashed out, with Bowser on his heels.
"Git back here, ya brat!" Bowser yelled. "I just wanna share dinner with you! Come back!"
"I think you mean you want to EAT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Y. Link screamed. He ran into the beanstalk, and fell through the clouds around it. Bowser jumped on the stalk, and hastily climbed down after him.
Y. Link finally caught hold of one of the many leaves, and hopped down them like a giant staircase, while Bowser followed after him.
When he got to the bottom, he looked about for an axe, then he remembered his sword!
He pulled it out, then realized he possessed the most pitiful weapon in existence. He hacked away at the plant, not even putting a scratch in it, when Bowser lost his grip and hurtled towards the ground like a doomsday meteor!
He landed on top of Y. Link with an earth shattering boom, and the scene was quiet for a looooooooong time…
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Crazy Hand tittered madly while spinning about the room in what he thought was an epic victory dance.
He floated back over to the computer when he was finished, but before he knew it, he was thwarted again.
"Super Fist of Mastery: Master Shield!" Master Hand cried.
There was a huge explosion that blew Crazy back, and a dome of blue lightning formed around the computer, blocking Crazy from the computer by a veil of blue energy.
He whirled on Master Hand, who was getting back up. Around his body was a similar aura, only it fit close about his body in a mantle of lightning.
"Now…we're getting serious." Master Hand stated calmly.
"I LOOOOOOOVE it this way!" Crazy cheered.
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"…Ugh…" Ness moaned. He opened his eyes, and sat up.
He looked about the room, expecting to see black goop everywhere, but everything was the same way as before, even the chair. The only difference, was that he was lying on the floor, with the book beside him.
Those stained by the blood of darkness rolled through Ness' mind as he looked about the room. …are destined to fight against the darkest of darkness. Only their inner light stands between them and utter destruction. It is a curse, and yet, a blessing, for those to find, and to discover.
"What does it mean?" Ness wondered. He picked the book up, and looked at its cover, which was as blank as his mind was at the moment. He turned it over, and still nothing.
Since there was nothing left to do in the room, Ness walked out with the book in his hand, and went back to his room to ponder what he had found.
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Later, Y. Link, Zelda, and Bowser were sitting around a table in the castle, eating dinner happily. They were enjoying Golden Pichu Egg soup, which made ya feel like a million bucks after eating it.
Zelda and Y. Link agreed to live at the castle, and at last, Bowser was no longer lonely. Pichu danced about the table while humming to a song that the magic instrument played, and the three lived happily ever after, with the mouse as a pet.
THE END
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"Super Fist of Mastery: Master Punch!"
"Super Fist of the Crazy: Crazy spin!"
Master Hand curled into a fist, and flashed with a light of omnipotence, while Crazy held his finger out.
Master Hand hurtled at Crazy so fast, he created a sonic boom, and smashed into Crazy's finger, which bent backwards disgustingly. Crazy took massive damage, but the deed had been done: Master Hand touched his finger.
He spun about the room, a whirl of white. He was unstoppable, spinning at Crazy's mercy, which he didn't have any at the moment.
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese…………………..stoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop!!!!" Master hand yelled.
"NOO! BWA HA HA HA!!!" Crazy laughed evilly.
"Super Fist of Mastery: Master Clockwork!" Master Hand cried. A gigantic clockwork made of light appeared, and as it ran, it started to slow down. Everything stopped moving, and Master Hand stopped spinning. He flew at Crazy Hand, who was immobilized by the frozen time.
He charged up a huge amount of energy, then he shot it at Crazy. It froze in front of him in the form of a ball of light.
"Super Fist of Mastery: Time Rend!" Master Hand cried. Time instantly started again, and Crazy was caught in a horrifyingly huge explosion. He screamed in a high pitched voice, and when the smoke cleared, he lay on the floor spazzing, like he always does when he's KO'd.
"Gosh…I haven't had to fight that hard in five thousand years!" Master hand exclaimed. "At least he's sleeping now."
Indeed, Crazy was on the floor, muttering something about fishes, when Master hand floated over to the computer and deactivated the barrier.
He looked at the screen, and saw the "The End", which was good enough for him. He hit the reset button, and started up the next tale, Hansel and Gretel.
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I had lots of fun writing this chapter! Hopefully, you all enjoyed it immensely!
I'm short on words today, but I think it's safe to say my slow updating period is over, for the most part.
This story is slowly coming to a close, everybody! Next one will start, in MAYBE up to two weeks, but, keep in mind I ain't promising this!
Now…Thank you all for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it, and I ask for your continued support!
With that said, Adieu, and Review!
-Shining Riku-
(I didn't come up with everything in this chapter, ya know. I don't know much about the show I'm about to mention…dang, I can't remember exactly how it goes, but it's something like Bobo Bo Bobobo.
Anyways, they have powers that depend of stuff they value. Um…Just read Game-Tycoon's story, SSBB: The Adventures of Six, I think it's called. He has a really good series going, and I suggest ya check it out!
Now, over and out!)