-1I'm trying really hard to be fair to Peyton and to Luke, but its hard, because they bother me to no end when they're together, and both characters become unlikable for me when they're a couple. But I'm trying hard to keep my bias out of it, and to write a fair and balanced story. Hope that you enjoy this chapter, Carrie
Peyton and Jake had pulled apart a few minutes ago, and were now standing silent a good distance between them. Peyton didn't know how to react or how to feel as she looked at Jake. He was everything she remembered, and then some. "Were you going to tell me?" She broke the silence first, unable to stand it anymore. "Were you going to tell me that you were back that she's sick?"
He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans awkwardly. He wanted to tear his gaze away from her. He didn't want to see the hurt, anger, and despair on her face. But he couldn't look away. Because he'd missed being able to look at her, he'd missed her. "It wasn't a secret." He said quietly. He had known when he'd made the choice to come back that there was very little chance that this could stay quiet more than a couple days.
"Yes, but were you going to tell me?" She asked her voice raising, as she pointed at herself. "Were you going to call me or come to me and tell me that you were back and that Jenny was sick?" How could he go the café and see Karen and confide in Brooke and not tell her first.
"No." It was spoken barely above a whisper, and he finally did tear his eyes away from her tearstained face.
"You didn't think that I'd want to know that Jenny was sick; sick enough for you to bring her back to Tree Hill?" She asked him filled with hurt and incredulity. How could he doubt her love for Jenny.
"This isn't about you Peyton. Its about Jenny. I didn't come here and say 'ok, I'll tell Karen, Brooke, Haley and Nate, but not tell Peyton or Luke.' It wasn't like that. I didn't plan on seeking anyone out and telling them, because I'm not here to socialize with all my old friends, I'm here so that Jenny can get treatment for cancer." He saw her visibly flinch at the word cancer. It wasn't his plan to deliberately not tell Peyton. If he had seen her at The Café that afternoon he would have told her, he would have told her whenever he'd run into her. "And you know, how would I know what you feel for Jenny anymore."
"You know that I love Jenny with all my heart." She whispered stricken. He knew how much she loved Jenny, how could he think otherwise. How could Jenny, beautiful sweet Jenny have something so horrible as cancer. Hadn't Jenny been through enough drama in her brief time on earth. She'd watched, seen briefly in the end how cancer had ravaged and finally taken Ellie from her, she didn't know if she had it in her to watch it attack Jenny too.
He shook his head tiredly. "How am I supposed to know that? By all the emails and phone calls asking how she is, checking in on her. By all the cards and drawings you've sent her? You haven't made one attempt to see how Jenny was since you left Savannah"
"You weren't real great at keeping in touch the first two times you left either, Jake." She shot back at him angrily.
"I was busy trying to protect my daughter from her crazy irresponsible mother. And I didn't want to make things harder on either of us, since I didn't know if I would ever get back here to see you again." Each time a clean break had seemed like the best and least cruel choice for both of them.
"And you didn't think calling and emailing you would be awkward for me after I left you for Lucas? Awkward for you? Awkward for Lucas, for me to stay in touch with you?" Her voice was quiet now, the anger that had caused her yelling dissipating as her thoughts returned to the little girl who was undoubtedly sleeping somewhere in this house.
He wanted to tell her that he didn't give a damn about what made Lucas feel awkward or uncomfortable. "It probably would have been." He acknowledged. "You don't think its hard for me to be back here knowing that I'm going to see you with someone else. Someone I considered a friend. Its hard as hell, and it hurts more than It thought it would. But my pain, my discomfort doesn't matter when it comes to Jenny. I never would have denied you access to Jenny because it was uncomfortable for me, because I knew she was to you, and how important you were to her."
She crossed her arms over her chest protectively. She shook her head. "What do the doctors say?" She wanted, needed more information about Jenny's condition.
"They caught it fairly early." He had noticed sings that something was off with Jenny. She'd been tired and sleeping more than usual, she bruised too easily. He'd been worried, and taken her to the doctor when he realized whatever was going on with his baby girl wasn't going away. "But she's got a long road ahead of her, and its not going to be easy."
"Jake" She questioned her voice shaking. Was there something he wasn't telling her? She watched with growing panic as his shoulders started to heave, and tears shone in his eyes. "Jake?" She called his name again, and moved closer to him, close enough to reach out and touch him.
"How am I supposed to do this, Peyton?" He whispered through his tears. It was the first time that he had cried since the night he'd gotten Jenny's initial diagnosis. He'd been trying so hard to keep it all together, keep the doubts and fear at bay, and just be strong for Jenny. "How am I suppose to watch her suffer so badly, and hurt so much, and not be able to do anything to make it better?"
"She knows that you love her, Jake. You have always been an amazing father. I knew that about you before I even really knew you." She further closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around him again, letting him sob against her shoulder as she gently stroked his hair.
"I'm supposed to be able to protect her. I'm supposed to be able to fix things for her. I can't fix this, I can't protect her from this. I feel like I'm failing my little girl."
"Don't say that." She whispered fiercely. "You've never failed Jenny, and you never will. We both know that you would take this from her if you could." She pulled back form him and placed her hands on either side of his face and waited for his eyes to meet hers. "Its not your fault that she's sick Jake."
He pulled away and fought to regain some semblance of control. He roughly wiped the tears on his cheeks away. "In my head I know that. But in my heart…She's my baby and she's sick and in pain."
"I know. I'd change this if I could." She looked at him her own cheeks damp with tears. "I wish that I could change this, and I know that I can't. But I can be here with you, and with Jenny. And we can get her through this." She pleaded with him to let her back into their lives; to let her be there for them. "Please let me be here for Jenny, and for you."
He couldn't say no to her, couldn't take her away from Jenny, when Jenny needed her most. He just shook his head in agreement. "Ok." He whispered.
"Hey Wife." Nathan said grinning as he and Luke entered the apartment after practice. They were preparing hard for the opening of the college basketball season. It was a fresh start for both of them basketball wise. Nathan as a player and Luke as a coach. "Brooke." He acknowledged. "The little man asleep?"
Haley walked over and greeted him with a quick kiss, and a smile of her own. "Yup, just changed him and put him back down. How was practice?"
"Brutal." He dropped his bag in the corner, and pulled Haley close to him, before going to peek in on his sleeping son. "How was the girls night?" He asked as he returned.
"Speaking of girl's night, where's Peyton?" Luke asked looking around the apartment confused. Peyton had told him that she planned to spend the night watching movies with Brooke and Haley. They'd planned to meet up here after practice and go back to her place, but she clearly wasn't here.
"Ummm…" Haley and Brooke exchanged looks.
"Well you know, not here." Brooke answered, as she whispered to Haley to come up with something better or tell him the truth.
"Clearly." Luke told her, watching the two girls suspiciously.
"You tell him." Haley whispered back, ignoring the looks they were getting from both Luke and Nate.
"Oh no." Brooke exclaimed forgetting to whisper. "He's your best friend since like forever, you tell him Peyton went to see Jake."
"I don't have too." Haley said shaking her head. That was not the way to diffuse the situation.
"Shit." Brooke muttered under breath realizing too late what she'd said. "Shit. That didn't come out right."
"So Peyton didn't go to Savannah?" Luke asked confused, something was definitely going on, he just wasn't sure what.
"I never said she went to Savannah, I said she went to see Jake."
"Brooke." Haley shot her a warning look. "Stop talking." She pleaded, she could see this situation getting out of hand rather rapidly.
"One of you really needs to explain to me what's going on." Luke demanded, directing his attention mainly on Haley."
"Well you see." Haley started and gave a nervous laugh. "She didn't exactly to Jake's because of Jake, she went because of Jenny."
"That's the best you could do?" Brooke asked her raising an eyebrow. "I could have explained it better than that."
"Hales, Jake and Jenny are sort of a packaged deal." Nathan reminded her.
"You're not helping either." She shot her husband a dirty look too.
"I have to go." Luke told them, he wanted answers, and it was pretty clear he wasn't going to get them.
"No." Haley lunged and grabbed his arm. "You haven't even seen your nephew yet." She literally drug him into the baby's room.
"Haley." He hissed in a whisper aware that James was sleeping. He glanced over at his sleeping nephew and smiled briefly.
"Do not go over there." She whispered back anxiously. "It will not help anything." She warned him pleadingly.
"I want to know what's going on." Peyton was his girlfriend, he had a right to know what was going on.
She sighed and closed her eyes briefly, searching for the words she needed to make him see reason. "Trust that Peyton will tell you everything you want to know when she sees you. She's probably waiting for you at her place now."
Luke searched her face for a hint. "You know what's going on, don't you?" He accused hurt. She was his best friend, why would she keep something that affected him and his relationship with Peyton to herself.
She shook her head. "I don't know the whole story." She assured him. "Just remember Luke, Peyton left Jake for you. She chose you and she loves you, and you guys are good right now, solid." She hoped that if she could remind him that he'd keep his head, and not go all dark and broody. "Just go to her house and wait for her."
"You said she was already there."
"She probably already is." Haley said exasperated, hoping that he didn't go confront Jake. Hoping that if he did, he didn't find Peyton still there.
"Fine." He said defeated. "Fine." He repeated when she didn't look convinced. He softened and pulled her into a hug. "Sorry I was a jerk, Hales. Kiss my nephew for me, ok?" He kissed her cheek, and left her standing there.
She closed her eyes and sighed when she heard the door closed. She had a bad feeling that before everything was said and done, somebody was going to hurt, it was practically unavoidable.