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SCENE I. Padua. A room in BAPTISTA'S house.
In a room inside Dr. Mario's house, Peach was tied to a chair, tightly, and Samus prowled around her in circles like a tiger about to strike.
"Good
sister, wrong me not, nor wrong yourself,
To make a bondmaid and a
slave of me;
That I disdain: but for these other gawds,
Unbind
my hands, I'll pull them off myself,
Yea, all my raiment, to my
petticoat;
Or what you will command me will I do,
So well I
know my duty to my elders." Peach pleaded.
"Of all
thy suitors, here I charge thee, tell
Whom thou lovest best: see
thou dissemble not." Samus demanded, finally stopping to look
her in the face.
"Believe me, sister, of all the men
alive
I never yet beheld that special face
Which I could fancy
more than any other." Peach said.
"Minion, thou liest. Is't not Hortensio?" Samus cried.
"If you
affect him, sister, here I swear
I'll plead for you myself, but
you shall have
him." Peach sobbed as she struggled against
her bonds.
"O then, belike, you fancy riches more:
You
will have Gremio to keep you fair." Samus sniffed disdainfully,
and rose up to her full height.
"Is it for him you do
envy me so?
Nay then you jest, and now I well perceive
You have
but jested with me all this while:
I prithee, sister Kate, untie
my hands." Peach pleaded, looking up at her unsympathetic
sister.
"If that be jest, then all the rest was so." Samus said waspishly.
She brought her hand back, then slapped Peach across the side of her face with her palm. Peach let loose her tears, and hung her head, while Samus hovered above her triumphantly.
There was a knock at the door, and Dr. Mario swept in. He was surprised at what he had just heard.
"Why,
how now, dame! whence grows this insolence?
Bianca, stand aside.
Poor girl! she weeps." He said, as he cut Peach loose from the
chair.
"Go ply thy needle; meddle not with her.
For shame,
thou helding of a devilish spirit,
Why dost thou wrong her that
did ne'er wrong thee?
When did she cross thee with a bitter
word?"
"Her silence flouts me, and I'll be revenged." Samus declared.
She ran at Peach, who screamed in fright and hid behind Dr. Mario
"What, in my sight? Bianca, get thee in." Dr. Mario ordered.
Peach fled the room, at speeds her dressing normally wouldn't allow.
"What,
will you not suffer me? Nay, now I see
She is your treasure, she
must have a husband;
I must dance bare-foot on her wedding day
And
for your love to her lead apes in hell.
Talk not to me: I will go
sit and weep
Till I can find occasion of revenge." Samus
promised.
She bolted from the room before Dr. Mario could protest. He sighed despairingly.
"Was ever gentleman thus
grieved as I?
But who comes here?" He asked.
There was more knocking on the door, and Wario and Mario came in dressed as teachers, followed by Ganon, Waluigi, and Luigi and Felious, who carried Mario's stuff, including a lute and some teaching books.
"Good morrow, neighbour Baptista." Waluigi said, tipping his hat.
"Good morrow, neighbour
Gremio.
God save you, gentlemen!" Dr. Mario cried.
"And
you, good sir! Pray, have you not a daughter
Call'd Katharina,
fair and virtuous?" Ganon asked.
"I have a daughter, sir, called Katharina." Dr. Mario affirmed.
"You are too blunt: go to it orderly." Waluigi said to Ganon.
"You
wrong me, Signior Gremio: give me leave.
I am a gentleman of
Verona, sir,
That, hearing of her beauty and her wit,
Her
affability and bashful modesty,
Her wondrous qualities and mild
behavior,
Am bold to show myself a forward guest
Within your
house, to make mine eye the witness
Of that report which I so oft
have heard.
And, for an entrance to my entertainment,
I do
present you with a man of mine," Ganon stepped aside, allowing
Wario to come into view.
"Cunning in music and the
mathematics,
To instruct her fully in those sciences,
Whereof I
know she is not ignorant:
Accept of him, or else you do me
wrong:
His name is Licio, born in Mantua."
"You're
welcome, sir; and he, for your good sake.
But for my daughter
Katharina, this I know,
She is not for your turn, the more my
grief." Dr. Mario sighed.
"I see you do not mean to
part with her,
Or else you like not of my company." Ganon
frowned.
"Mistake me not; I speak but as I find.
Whence
are you, sir? what may I call your name?" Dr. Mario
asked.
"Petruchio is my name; Antonio's son,
A man
well known throughout all Italy."
"I know him well: you are welcome for his sake."
"Saving your tale,
Petruchio, I pray,
Let us, that are poor petitioners, speak
too:
Baccare! you are marvellous forward." Waluigi said.
"O, pardon me, Signior Gremio; I would fain be doing." Ganon apologized.
"I doubt it not, sir; but you will curse
your
wooing. Neighbour, this is a gift very grateful, I am
sure
of it. To express the like kindness, myself,
that have been more
kindly beholding to you than
any, freely give unto you this young
scholar," Waluigi said, allowing Mario to present
himself.
"that hath been long studying at Rheims; as
cunning
in Greek, Latin, and other languages, as the other
in
music and mathematics: his name is Cambio; pray,
accept his
service."
"A thousand thanks, Signior
Gremio.
Welcome, good Cambio." Dr. Mario said. He then turned
to Luigi.
"But, gentle sir, methinks you walk like a
stranger:
may I be so bold to know the cause of your
coming?"
"Pardon me, sir, the boldness is mine
own,
That, being a stranger in this city here,
Do make myself a
suitor to your daughter,
Unto Bianca, fair and virtuous.
Nor is
your firm resolve unknown to me,
In the preferment of the eldest
sister.
This liberty is all that I request,
That, upon
knowledge of my parentage,
I may have welcome 'mongst the rest
that woo
And free access and favour as the rest:
And, toward
the education of your daughters,
I here bestow a simple
instrument,
And this small packet of Greek and Latin books:
If
you accept them, then their worth is great." Luigi
said.
"Lucentio is your name; of whence, I pray?"
"Of Pisa, sir; son to Vincentio."
"A mighty man of Pisa;
by report
I know him well: you are very welcome, sir,
Take you
the lute, and you the set of books;
You shall go see your pupils
presently.
Holla, within!"
A servant entered the room.
"Sirrah, lead these gentlemen
To my daughters;
and tell them both,
These are their tutors: bid them use them
well."
The servant left the room, after which followed Mario, Wario, and Felious.
"We will go walk a little in
the orchard,
And then to dinner. You are passing welcome,
And
so I pray you all to think yourselves."
"Signior
Baptista, my business asketh haste,
And every day I cannot come to
woo.
You knew my father well, and in him me,
Left solely heir
to all his lands and goods,
Which I have better'd rather than
decreased:
Then tell me, if I get your daughter's love,
What
dowry shall I have with her to wife?" Ganon asked.
"After
my death the one half of my lands,
And in possession twenty
thousand crowns." Dr. Mario said.
"And, for that
dowry, I'll assure her of
Her widowhood, be it that she survive
me,
In all my lands and leases whatsoever:
Let specialties be
therefore drawn between us,
That covenants may be kept on either
hand."
"Ay, when the special thing is well
obtain'd,
That is, her love; for that is all in all."
"Why,
that is nothing: for I tell you, father,
I am as peremptory as she
proud-minded;
And where two raging fires meet together
They do
consume the thing that feeds their fury:
Though little fire grows
great with little wind,
Yet extreme gusts will blow out fire and
all:
So I to her and so she yields to me;
For I am rough and
woo not like a babe."
"Well mayst thou woo, and
happy be thy speed!
But be thou arm'd for some unhappy
words."
"Ay, to the proof; as mountains are for
winds,
That shake not, though they blow perpetually."
Just then, Wario walked back into the room, deathly pale, with a broken lute wrapped around his head.
"How now, my friend! why dost thou look so pale?" Dr. Mario inquired.
"For fear, I promise you, if I look pale." Wario moaned.
"What, will my daughter prove a good musician?" Dr. Mario asked hopefully.
"I think she'll sooner prove a soldier
Iron
may hold with her, but never lutes."
"Why, then thou canst not break her to the lute?
"Why, no; for she hath
broke the lute to me.
I did but tell her she mistook her
frets,
And bow'd her hand to teach her fingering;
When, with a
most impatient devilish spirit,
'Frets, call you these?' quoth
she; 'I'll fume
with them:'
And, with that word, she struck me
on the head,
And through the instrument my pate made way;
And
there I stood amazed for a while,
As on a pillory, looking through
the lute;
While she did call me rascal fiddler
And twangling
Jack; with twenty such vile terms,
As had she studied to misuse me
so."
"Now, by the world, it is a lusty wench;
I
love her ten times more than e'er I did:
O, how I long to have
some chat with her!" Ganon exclaimed.
"Well, go with
me and be not so discomfited:
Proceed in practise with my younger
daughter;
She's apt to learn and thankful for good turns.
Signior
Petruchio, will you go with us,
Or shall I send my daughter Kate
to you?" Dr. Mario asked.
"I pray you do." Ganon said.
Everybody left the room but Ganon, who paced lightly about the room, talking.
"I will attend her
here,
And woo her with some spirit when she comes.
Say that she
rail; why then I'll tell her plain
She sings as sweetly as a
nightingale:
Say that she frown, I'll say she looks as clear
As
morning roses newly wash'd with dew:
Say she be mute and will not
speak a word;
Then I'll commend her volubility,
And say she
uttereth piercing eloquence:
If she do bid me pack, I'll give her
thanks,
As though she bid me stay by her a week:
If she deny to
wed, I'll crave the day
When I shall ask the banns and when be
married.
But here she comes; and now, Petruchio, speak."
Samus walked in while he was talking. She looked pleased with herself.
"Good morrow, Kate; for that's your name, I hear."
"Well have you heard, but something hard of
hearing:
They call me Katharina that do talk of me." Samus
smiled cruelly.
"You lie, in faith; for you are call'd
plain Kate,
And bonny Kate and sometimes Kate the curst;
But
Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom
Kate of Kate Hall, my
super-dainty Kate,
For dainties are all Kates, and therefore,
Kate,
Take this of me, Kate of my consolation;
Hearing thy
mildness praised in every town,
Thy virtues spoke of, and thy
beauty sounded,
Yet not so deeply as to thee belongs,
Myself am
moved to woo thee for my wife."
"Moved! in good
time: let him that moved you hither
Remove you hence: I knew you
at the first
You were a moveable."
"Why, what's a moveable?"
"A join'd-stool."
"Thou hast hit it: come, sit on me."
"Asses are made to bear, and so are you."
"Women are made to bear, and so are you."
"No such jade as you, if me you mean.
PETRUCHIO
Alas! good Kate, I will not burden
thee;
For, knowing thee to be but young and light--"
"Too
light for such a swain as you to catch;
And yet as heavy as my
weight should be."
"Should be! should--buzz!"
"Well ta'en, and like a buzzard."
"O slow-wing'd turtle! shall a buzzard take thee?"
"Ay, for a turtle, as he takes a buzzard."
"Come, come, you wasp; i' faith, you are too angry."
"If I be waspish, best beware my sting."
"My remedy is then, to pluck it out."
"Ay, if the fool could find it where it lies,"
"Who knows
not where a wasp does
wear his sting? In his tail."
"In his tongue."
"Whose tongue?"
"Yours, if you talk of tails: and so farewell."
"What, with
my tongue in your tail? nay, come again,
Good Kate; I am a
gentleman."
"That I'll try." Samus said.
She walked right up to him, and popped him across the face with a mighty slap.
"I swear I'll cuff you, if you strike again." Ganon growled.
"So may you lose your arms:
If you
strike me, you are no gentleman;
And if no gentleman, why then no
arms." Samus smirked.
"A herald, Kate? O, put me in thy books!"
"What is your crest? a coxcomb?"
"A combless cock, so Kate will be my hen."
"No cock of mine; you crow too like a craven."
"Nay, come, Kate, come; you must not look so sour."
"It is my fashion, when I see a crab."
"Why, here's no crab; and therefore look not sour."
"There is, there is."
"Then show it me."
"Had I a glass, I would."
"What, you mean my face?"
"Well aim'd of such a young one."
"Now, by Saint George, I am too young for you."
"Yet you are wither'd."
"'Tis with cares."
"I care not."
"Nay, hear you, Kate: in sooth you scape not so."
"I chafe you, if I tarry: let me go."
"No,
not a whit: I find you passing gentle.
'Twas told me you were
rough and coy and sullen,
And now I find report a very liar;
For
thou are pleasant, gamesome, passing courteous,
But slow in
speech, yet sweet as spring-time flowers:
Thou canst not frown,
thou canst not look askance,
Nor bite the lip, as angry wenches
will,
Nor hast thou pleasure to be cross in talk,
But thou with
mildness entertain'st thy wooers,
With gentle conference, soft and
affable.
Why does the world report that Kate doth limp?
O
slanderous world! Kate like the hazel-twig
Is straight and slender
and as brown in hue
As hazel nuts and sweeter than the kernels.
O,
let me see thee walk: thou dost not halt."
"Go, fool, and whom thou keep'st command."
"Did ever Dian
so become a grove
As Kate this chamber with her princely gait?
O,
be thou Dian, and let her be Kate;
And then let Kate be chaste and
Dian sportful!"
"Where did you study all this goodly speech?"
"It is extempore, from my mother-wit."
"A witty mother! witless else her son."
"Am I not wise?"
"Yes; keep you warm."
"Marry,
so I mean, sweet Katharina, in thy bed:
And therefore, setting all
this chat aside,
Thus in plain terms: your father hath
consented
That you shall be my wife; your dowry 'greed on;
And,
Will you, nill you, I will marry you.
Now, Kate, I am a husband
for your turn;
For, by this light, whereby I see thy beauty,
Thy
beauty, that doth make me like thee well,
Thou must be married to
no man but me;
For I am he am born to tame you Kate,
And bring
you from a wild Kate to a Kate
Conformable as other household
Kates.
Here comes your father: never make denial;
I must and
will have Katharina to my wife."
There was yet more knocking, and Dr. Mario re-entered the room, with Waluigi and Luigi following.
"Now, Signior Petruchio, how speed you with my daughter?" Dr. Mario asked.
"How but well, sir? how
but well?
It were impossible I should speed amiss." Ganon
said.
"Why, how now, daughter Katharina! in your dumps?"
"Call you me daughter? now, I promise
you
You have show'd a tender fatherly regard,
To wish me wed to
one half lunatic;
A mad-cup ruffian and a swearing Jack,
That
thinks with oaths to face the matter out." Samus
snarled.
"Father, 'tis thus: yourself and all the
world,
That talk'd of her, have talk'd amiss of her:
If she be
curst, it is for policy,
For she's not froward, but modest as the
dove;
She is not hot, but temperate as the morn;
For patience
she will prove a second Grissel,
And Roman Lucrece for her
chastity:
And to conclude, we have 'greed so well together,
That
upon Sunday is the wedding-day." Ganon said.
"I'll see thee hang'd on Sunday first." Samus vowed.
"Hark,
Petruchio; she says she'll see thee
hang'd first." Waluigi
said.
"Is this your speeding? nay, then, good night our part!" Luigi cried.
"Be patient, gentlemen; I choose
her for myself:
If she and I be pleased, what's that to you?
'Tis
bargain'd 'twixt us twain, being alone,
That she shall still be
curst in company.
I tell you, 'tis incredible to believe
How
much she loves me: O, the kindest Kate!
She hung about my neck;
and kiss on kiss
She vied so fast, protesting oath on oath,
That
in a twink she won me to her love.
O, you are novices! 'tis a
world to see,
How tame, when men and women are alone,
A meacock
wretch can make the curstest shrew.
Give me thy hand, Kate: I will
unto Venice,
To buy apparel 'gainst the wedding-day.
Provide
the feast, father, and bid the guests;
I will be sure my Katharina
shall be fine." Ganon said.
"I know not what to say:
but give me your hands;
God send you joy, Petruchio! 'tis a
match." Dr. Mario claimed.
"Amen, say we: we will be witnesses." Luigi and Waluigi said.
"Father, and
wife, and gentlemen, adieu;
I will to Venice; Sunday comes
apace:
We will have rings and things and fine array;
And kiss
me, Kate, we will be married o'Sunday." Ganon said, before
taking his leave.
Samus scowled fiercely, before stomping from the room in a terrible fury.
"Was ever match clapp'd up so suddenly?" Waluigi asked.
"Faith, gentlemen, now
I play a merchant's part,
And venture madly on a desperate mart."
Dr. Mario said.
"'Twas a commodity lay fretting by
you:
'Twill bring you gain, or perish on the seas." Luigi
said.
"The gain I seek is, quiet in the match."
"No
doubt but he hath got a quiet catch.
But now, Baptists, to your
younger daughter:
Now is the day we long have looked for:
I am
your neighbour, and was suitor first." Waluigi said.
"And
I am one that love Bianca more
Than words can witness, or your
thoughts can guess." Luigi said.
"Youngling, thou canst not love so dear as I."
"Graybeard, thy love doth freeze."
"But thine doth fry.
Skipper, stand
back: 'tis age that nourisheth."
"But youth in ladies' eyes that flourisheth."
"Content you,
gentlemen: I will compound this strife:
'Tis deeds must win the
prize; and he of both
That can assure my daughter greatest
dower
Shall have my Bianca's love.
Say, Signior Gremio, What
can you assure her?" Dr. Mario asked.
"First, as you
know, my house within the city
Is richly furnished with plate and
gold;
Basins and ewers to lave her dainty hands;
My hangings
all of Tyrian tapestry;
In ivory coffers I have stuff'd my
crowns;
In cypress chests my arras counterpoints,
Costly
apparel, tents, and canopies,
Fine linen, Turkey cushions boss'd
with pearl,
Valance of Venice gold in needlework,
Pewter and
brass and all things that belong
To house or housekeeping: then,
at my farm
I have a hundred milch-kine to the pail,
Sixscore
fat oxen standing in my stalls,
And all things answerable to this
portion.
Myself am struck in years, I must confess;
And if I
die to-morrow, this is hers,
If whilst I live she will be only
mine." Waluigi said.
"That 'only' came well in. Sir,
list to me:
I am my father's heir and only son:
If I may have
your daughter to my wife,
I'll leave her houses three or four as
good,
Within rich Pisa walls, as any one
Old Signior Gremio has
in Padua;
Besides two thousand ducats by the year
Of fruitful
land, all which shall be her jointure.
What, have I pinch'd you,
Signior Gremio?" Luigi asked.
"Two thousand ducats
by the year of land!
My land amounts not to so much in all:
That
she shall have; besides an argosy
That now is lying in Marseilles'
road.
What, have I choked you with an argosy?"
"Gremio,
'tis known my father hath no less
Than three great argosies;
besides two galliases,
And twelve tight galleys: these I will
assure her,
And twice as much, whate'er thou offer'st
next."
"Nay, I have offer'd all, I have no more;
And
she can have no more than all I have:
If you like me, she shall
have me and mine."
"Why, then the maid is mine from
all the world,
By your firm promise: Gremio is out-vied."
"I
must confess your offer is the best;
And, let your father make her
the assurance,
She is your own; else, you must pardon me,
if
you should die before him, where's her dower?" Dr. Mario
asked.
"That's but a cavil: he is old, I young." Luigi said.
"And may not young men die, as well as old?" Waluigi asked.
"Well, gentlemen,
I am thus resolved:
on Sunday next you know
My daughter Katharina is to be
married:
Now, on the Sunday following, shall Bianca
Be bride to
you, if you this assurance;
If not, Signior Gremio:
And so, I
take my leave, and thank you both." Dr. Mario said.
"Adieu, good neighbour." Waluigi said.
Dr. Mario nodded to both the men, then left the room, leaving them behind.
"Now I
fear thee not:
Sirrah young gamester, your father were a fool
To
give thee all, and in his waning age
Set foot under thy table:
tut, a toy!
An old Italian fox is not so kind, my boy."
Waluigi left the room without another word.
"A vengeance on your
crafty wither'd hide!
Yet I have faced it with a card of ten.
'Tis
in my head to do my master good:
I see no reason but supposed
Lucentio
Must get a father, call'd 'supposed Vincentio;'
And
that's a wonder: fathers commonly
Do get their children; but in
this case of wooing,
A child shall get a sire, if I fail not of my
cunning." Luigi
declared.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
