Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling.
For reference, this chapter takes place in March of 1999. This is based on JKR's timeline, which places Harry's birth in 1980, which puts the end of seventh year and the start of this story in June of 1998.
Chapter Thirteen: Where Did it All Go Wrong?
Over the next few weeks, Neville and Ginny focused their attention solely on James. This served a two-fold purpose – the baby was generally happy and Neville and Ginny never had to discuss their up-and-down relationship. James started sleeping through the night, and when he was ten weeks old Ginny decided to move him to the nursery.
Since James had been born, his bassinet had been in their room, first at the Burrow and now here. Ginny and Neville had no time to themselves, really, which meant the barrier which Ginny had created with her stuffed cat was still there. If anything, it had grown even more pronounced with a baby in the room.
Neville wasn't quite sure what to expect now that James was going to be in his own room. Ginny no longer cried over pictures of Harry when she thought he wasn't looking, but she was so focused on the baby Neville wasn't sure she was really healed. He had tried and failed to talk to her about it, and he only hoped that Hermione was getting through to her during their many conversations.
Ginny made a big show of introducing James to his crib. "You're going to have to be a big boy, you know, all the way across the hall in this big room, all by yourself. But I know you can handle it," she said loudly. Neville got the impression she was trying to convince herself more so than the baby.
After putting James to bed, they returned to the lounge, sitting at opposite ends of the room. Ginny was reading from her Charms text, and Neville was finishing some reports for work. He must have dozed off at some point, because the next thing he knew Ginny was gone. Glancing at his watch, he noticed that it was getting late and headed upstairs.
Ginny wasn't in the bedroom or the bath, and despite the fact that James hadn't cried once Neville figured that's where Ginny was. Upon investigation, he found her right where he had expected, watching James sleep. He snaked his arms around Ginny's waist, and she sighed.
"I feel so bad, leaving him here all alone," she whispered.
"He's right across the hall, Ginny. It's not like he could stay with us forever," Neville said. "Besides, he looks peaceful." Feeling bolder than usual, Neville kissed Ginny gently just below her ear. She stiffened, then extricated herself from his embrace and left the room.
Neville waited a few minutes before returning to his and Ginny's room. Ginny was already asleep, or at least pretending to sleep, and Kitty had been returned to the middle of the bed. Frustrated, he decided to take a shower before trying to sleep.
Ginny made waffles the next morning, since it was a Saturday and Neville didn't have to work. She didn't meet Neville's eyes as she passed the butter, but he didn't say anything – much as he wanted to.
The meal was interrupted by a flash of green flame as Arthur's head appeared in the fire. "Dad!" Ginny exclaimed. "What's wrong?"
Arthur's face looked grave. "Death Eaters attacked Hermione last night. She's okay," he continued immediately. "She had an alarm ward at her flat they didn't manage to disable, so the Aurors were alerted right away. She's at St. Mungo's with minor spell damage and a concussion. Molly asked me to contact you in case you wanted to see her."
"Yes, of course," Ginny said, her face drained of color. She looked at James, then Neville.
"You go ahead," Neville replied. "I"ll bundle up James and we'll meet you there." Ginny left quickly, almost forgetting her cloak and leaving her breakfast mostly uneaten.
Neville Flooed into St. Mungo's nearly a half hour later; James had resisted wearing his winter coat and hat. Ginny was waiting for them in the lobby of the Spell Damage ward, Molly and Arthur standing nearby. She immediately reached for James, then frowned.
"He, uh, needs to be changed. The Floo didn't agree with him," Neville said. He thought he caught the shadow of a smile on Arthur's face at this announcement, but he couldn't be sure.
"I'll take him. They won't let us in to see her yet, anyway," Ginny replied. She took James and the baby bag and started looking around for the nearest loo.
"We were just heading up to the tearoom – did you two want anything?" Molly asked.
"No, thanks," Neville said, and Ginny shook her head. Molly and Arthur left then, and Ginny quickly headed in the direction of the loo, leaving Neville by himself in the corridor. A middle-aged woman in green Healer robes approached him.
"You look familiar," she said, looking at him carefully.
"Well, I work downstairs in Herbal Research," Neville said. "My name is Neville –"
"That's Ginny Weasley, isn't it? The girl you were talking to?" the woman broke in, a curious look on her face.
"Um, yes. Ginny Longbottom, now," Neville said automatically.
"So you're Mr. Longbottom, I take it? My daughter Katarina was in Ginny's year at Hogwarts, and she has been wondering why Ginny didn't come back this year. The rumors one hears…that was her baby, wasn't it? That explains it, I suppose," the woman said, her nose upturned as though she had just smelled something particularly foul.
Neville recalled the name Katarina as belonging to one of the Ravenclaw girls who liked to pester Luna. He tried to block out the nosy woman's rude words but found his efforts unsuccessful.
"I knew your parents at Hogwarts, of course, Frank and Alice. I can't imagine how ashamed they would be to know what you did to that girl. If such a thing had happened to Katarina, I would have killed the boy myself," the woman continued, seemingly uncaring that her opinions were neither appropriate nor welcome. "I suppose it's a good thing your parents will never know what a mess you've made of your life."
"I have a good job, you know," Neville said, feeling defensive. "Ginny and I are doing just fine, and anyway, this really isn't any of your business."
"I'm only trying to clear up some rumors. Katarina has told me some of the terrible things they're spreading around the school, and I hope to inform her of the truth so she can enlighten her friends. Surely you don't want your former classmates to think you forced the Weasley girl into anything," the woman said, speaking as though she really did think she was doing him a great service.
Neville swallowed hard, too stunned to do anything besides stand there stupidly. He had thought they had heard the last of this type of talk. It was ridiculous – the woman had treated him as some sort of predator. The irony was too cruel, really. She walked away haughtily, leaving Neville standing there with a hard look on his face.
Ginny soon returned with a much happier looking James and eyed him quizzically. "Is something wrong?" she asked.
"Let's go see if they'll let us into Hermione's room yet," Neville said coldly.
The Healer on duty, who was thankfully not Katarina of Ravenclaw's mother, gave them the OK to enter, though she did frown a little when she saw James. Hermione was smiling as they entered the room, though, and Ron was seated right next to her. He appeared to be stroking her hand. Neville would have smiled if he hadn't been in such a foul mood; if nothing else, it looked as though this had sparked Ron into action regarding his future with Hermione.
"How are you feeling?" Ginny asked.
"I'll be better if you let me hold my nephew," Hermione answered, beaming. Ron's ears turned rather pink.
"I feel fine though, really. The Aurors got there before Bellatrix could do much damage," Hermione continued.
"Bellatrix Lestrange was there?" Neville said, his jaw tightening.
"Yeah, we think she was their leader. It was a fairly large operation – eight Death Eaters in total, including the ones scoping the perimeter. Mad-Eye thinks they were desperate for some sort of revenge, as the whole thing was rather poorly planned and obviously targeted at someone close to Harry. I talked to Kingsley earlier; they brought everyone in. It seems to be the last of the really dangerous Death Eaters," Ron said, his eyes dark. "They'll sit trial, of course, even those who previously escaped from Azkaban, but there's no doubt about what sentence the Lestranges will receive, at least."
"I wish that wasn't necessary," Hermione said softly as she played with one of James's coat buttons.
"She deserves it," Neville said through clenched teeth. He could feel everyone looking at him, but he didn't care. "You'd feel the same way if you were me."
No one spoke for several minutes, until James broke the silence by whimpering softly.
"Okay, back to Mummy," Hermione said. Ginny took James from Hermione's arms, and the conversation shifted to focus on the baby.
Molly and Arthur returned from the tearoom with a tray of teacups and scones. Ron helped himself to a scone, and the others all took cups of tea, but Neville sat there, his appetite completely gone.
Ginny had taken off James's coat, since it looked like they would be visiting for awhile. Today he was wearing a tiny shirt with a picture of a dragon on it and green trousers. Molly cooed over him for awhile, clearly smitten with her small grandson.
"Is he sleeping through the night yet?" she asked, looking up at Ginny.
"For the most part," Ginny answered. "We moved him to the nursery, at least."
"I just can't believe how big he's getting," Molly said. "Sometimes it seems like just yesterday that you were a baby, Ginny."
Ginny rolled her eyes, and Ron quickly stifled a laugh. Shaking her head, Hermione turned to Neville. "How has work been?" she asked.
"Fine," he replied, his arms crossed over his chest.
"It sounds pretty exciting to me," Hermione continued. "I always liked Herbology."
Neville just shrugged. Ginny shot him a questioning look, but he shook his head. He didn't feel much like chatting. The conversation turned to Ron's Auror training, and Neville kept quiet. His thoughts were full of that Healer's comments and Bellatrix Lestrange.
The Healer on duty in Hermione's ward came to kick them out around three o'clock, claiming they were disturbing other patients. They all said their goodbyes to Hermione, who was going to be released in the morning anyway, and Ron, who was apparently staying with her.
Neville and Ginny returned home, and Ginny fed James before putting him down for a nap. Neville sat moodily at the kitchen table, nursing a mug of hot cocoa.
"Okay," Ginny said, taking the seat across from him. "What's up with you? You've been in an unusually bad mood today."
"Do you know the Ravenclaw in your year named Katarina?" Ginny nodded. "I met her mother today. Charming woman – asked me if I was proud of myself for ruining your life," Neville said bitterly.
"Well, it was awful I'm sure, but you've heard it before. We both ha – "
"She told me my parents would be disappointed with what I've done with my life, how terrible I've made things for you," Neville continued, feeling himself growing more angry than he could ever remember being.
Ginny's face fell. "You know that's not true; they'd be proud of you, I know it. And anyway, who is she to tell you what your parents would think? Just ignore it."
"She practically accused me of being a rapist," Neville said, his voice rising. Whether due to the stress of the day or just his general frustration, Neville knew he had to get this off his chest. "I married you willingly – it was my idea, even. But ever since then, I've taken most of the blame for ruining you, and…and I'm still a bloody virgin!"
Ginny's mouth dropped open, but Neville wasn't finished. "A-and it really frustrates me that people wouldn't say such awful things about Harry if they knew the truth."
He paused, red-faced and breathing heavily. Ginny's face was just as red, and Neville could tell she was livid and hurt all at the same time.
"That's a really terrible thing to say," she said, her voice low and intense.
"It's the truth and you know it," Neville retorted. "But you know what? It wouldn't bother me so much if I thought you really wanted to be with me. I thought now that James was in his own room, well…"
Neville suddenly felt incredibly stupid, wishing he hadn't brought this up.
Ginny looked shocked and shook her head. "Neville, I – "
"Just forget it. And anyway, you heard what Ron said. They've got the really dangerous Death Eaters now, you don't need me to protect you anymore. If you don't want to be married to me, well...I guess I understand."
"Neville, I chose to marry you! I have no intention of leaving," Ginny said desperately.
Neville shoved his hands in his pockets. "You have a funny way of showing it."
"I'm trying! I want this to work, Neville, I really do. You're so good with the baby, and I just…I just need…"
"Time," Neville answered dully. "I get it. Let's just drop it."
"Can we talk about this?" Ginny pleaded. "I can explain – "
"You don't have to explain. I've given you time, I've been patient, and it hasn't been enough. But I understand, really..who wants me when they've had so much better?" Neville said, a tinge of uncharacteristic sarcasm creeping into his voice. As soon as he said it, he knew it had been a mistake. For months he had told himself he wouldn't push her, and now here he was, doing just that.
If possible, Ginny had grown even angrier at his last words, her wand raised. At this point, Neville didn't even care if she hexed him – he deserved it.
What she said surprised him even more. "What are you trying to say, Neville? You really want me to leave? Fine."
Before Neville could stop her, she had stomped upstairs to fetch James and Flooed away. He rubbed his temples, furious with himself. After kicking one of the kitchen table legs and stubbing his toe rather badly, he slouched into the tiny conservatory and collapsed on a bench, fully believing that he had just destroyed his marriage beyond repair. He stared at his now fully-grown Mimbulus mimbletonia, realizing with a twinge of regret that it was the only thing at which he hadn't completely failed.
A/N: I'm still not completely happy with this chapter, but I hope you all enjoyed it nonetheless. Feedback is appreciated!