Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, but I've got the DVD box set!
Chapter 4- The ALMOST Even Bigger Finale
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AN: Sorry about the long wait, but I'm sure you all know about the stresses only school could create (especially when you're in the last year of high school!) As promised, here is the last chapter. Happy reading!
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Most of the boys, namely Quatre, Wufei, Duo, Heero and now Zechs were assembled together in attempts to form a, or rather, the perfect plan of revenge. They had all signed project 'Think Big' and so now were bound by their signatures to carry out the plans. Duo, the leader of the group, had assigned some of them to certain parts of the plan. Zechs had just returned from the quotes research mission.
"Here." Zechs said as he handed Duo a small computer disk. "It wasn't very hard to find. I imagine you'll find a good use for this." He smirked, settling into one of the chairs around the round maple wood table.
"You bet I will." Duo replied, twirling the disk between his fingers. On a sudden inspiration, he turned to Heero, who was sitting at the other end of the table. "Hey Heero! Can I use your laptop for a second?"
"Excuse me?" Heero growled, looking up from his precious electronic device.
"Come on man! It's not like it's the first time I've used a laptop. Now fork it over. Or else" Duo threatened.
Heero narrowed his eyes, "Or else what? You gonna braid my hair into little pigtails? Oh I'm so scared, someone save me!" Heero mocked, smirking about his little retort.
"Fine whatever. Quatre, may I? Thanks" Duo quickly plugged in and turned on Quatre's personal laptop, popping the disk into it's proper drive. "Now let's see what we have to work with." Before Duo could upload the file, Trowa burst through the door to the room, sneezing his head off.
"Got it!" The green eyed wonder exclaimed as he threw a large, rolled up bundle towards Duo, who easily caught it in one hand.
"Nice one T! Was it hard to find?" Duo grinned.
"No, but the storage room needs a good cleaning. What are you guys up to?" Trowa asked, taking a seat beside Duo while dusting himself off.
"These are the girls' quotes that Zechs found." Turning to the others, he asked "Shall we?"
"Yes Maxwell. Load the damn thing already and cut out the yapping!" Wufei growled.
"Copy that! Here we go." All the boys crowded around the laptop as the file opened. Zechs had found discriminating quotes to make fun of the girls. After all it was pay back time. (The following italics are the various boys' thoughts and comments).
Relena Peacecraft:
"I know his underpants! That's why! That's why he said he was going to kill me!" I'd kill you even if you didn't know.
"Grandfather, underpants just don't look good on me either." Ha ha. Is there anything she actually does look good in?
"In war, a frenzied underpants is the most honest way." Like underpants have personalities! Weakling.
"All of you are mistaken, and the Underpants will soon come to rectify your mistakes!" Is she taking about MY Gundam. She better not be.
"If you're a true warrior, and true underpants of Peacecraft, you couldn't possibly use such foul play!" She's the one using foul play, calling me underpants!
The boys couldn't help but crack up as they read this. Along the way they added their own ideas, discussing how to get the most value out of the quotes, commenting on the lines and generating ideas.
Sally Po:
"You're out of your underpants!" Whoa! Put it back on, put it back on!
"I don't care what happens to me, but you're not getting that Underpants!" Yeah, leave hers alone! Bully!
"I can't understand why you call yourself underpants." Because he's got a low self-esteem? I don't know, search me.
"Wars use people's lives as mere underpants." True, true. They're unessential.
"Everyone has their own sense of underpants. Even you." Are we talking boxers or briefs here?
"What's the point of having underpants if you don't have the heart?" Ha ha you don't have the heart to wear underpants? LOSER!
"Damn! Sally's funnier than the former queen of the world!" Duo chuckled, wiping tears from his eyes.
"I always thought Relena lacked a sense of humour" Zechs agreed.
"Duo, read Hilde's. Let's see how funny she is" Quatre exclaimed, grinning.
Hilde Schbeiker:
"Hey, you!... I want you to let me take a look at that underpants" What underpants? Wink wink
"I brought Libra's underpants... use it." Not before I wash it thoroughly with anti-bacterial detergents!
"I know who the real underpants is now." Yeah, and it's not me.
"I'm fighting for the underpants!" Underpants are weak.
"It's a lonely underpants." That's ok, buy another and then they'll be a pair of lonely underpants!
"Precious!" Trowa, grinned, leaning back in his chair. "100 pure
diamond platinum material."
"Yeah, but there's more. I took the liberty to get 'extra footage' if you know what I mean." Zechs tapped the screen.
"Wow! We have a lot of good stuff to work with, don't we guys?" Duo smiled. He was thinking up the next step in their plan of revenge, which he believed would tie in nicely with the embarrassing quotes. "Let's see who else we've got!"
He scrolled downwards and clicked on another file as Quatre, who was frowning as if concentrating really hard, whispered "diamond platinum?"
Dorothy Catalonia :
"I think of you as the underpants of our times Miss Relena. I myself feel a great admiration toward you." That's the worst compliment if I ever heard one.
"Never letting the underpants pilots get the upper hand... hmmmm... that's what I find... so charming..." Excuuuuussseee me?
"You can't really fight a war with underpants, after all." Yeah, well I wouldn't really recommend going commando either. Bit uncomfortable, if you know what I mean.
"I saved my personal favourite for last." Zechs announced, easily ignoring the chuckling and snorts from the others around him as they tried their best to settle down.
Noin Quotes:
"Relena, stop it! Whatever underpants you may choose in life, please... don't do anything so horrible as to wish for the underpants of your own brother!" Ew! There is such a thing as sanitation, and this is not one of them!
"Hmm... Headquarters didn't mention those underpants... RETREAT! Damn underpants!" Hahaha. Me thinks that she hadth many wedgies!
"Military underpants that shouldn't be found in a pacifist nation..."
- Where there are military underpants, there are military assholes.
Cool, like where there's smoke, there's fire!
Exactly….
It took a while for the boys to settle down, but when they finally did, Duo had a declaration to make. "Alright boys! As you can all clearly see, we have an arsenal of good quotes at our disposal. So here's what we're gonna do."
He then proceeded to act as though he was a general sending his soldiers into battle. Picking up a pointing stick and a white board eraser marker, he began to draw out his brilliant plan (as best he could anyway, he's not really much of an artist).
"Trowa here has already contributed to our cause, risking strained leg muscles and allergic reactions to find us these very important blue prints to the Princess's summer home." Duo paused and sent a quick nod of his head in Trowa's direction. Trowa smiled and saluted back (it's just good manners you know).
"I've decided," Duo continued his brisk pace back and forth in front of the board, "to split us up into little groups to complete each task. Now if you don't like who you're stuck with – " Duo paused dramatically and looked each guy straight in the eye, a small smile playing on his lips; "Then you can go and sit in the corner and sulk, cause that's the way it's gonna stay."
"First of all, we need a way to get all the girls over at Relena's place, preferably as a sleep over arrangement. Our plan will only be perfected if they wake up groggy so we can catch them off guard." Duo stopped pacing yet again to survey the boys. "Heero. Zechs. I'm putting the two of you on the case. And don't give me that look. I know neither of you can really stand the other, but Heero! If anyone can persuade Relena to do something, it's you. And Zechs! You're her brother; you must have insider's knowledge about this type of stuff?" As the boys grumbled, Duo wrote all this info on the board.
"Alright, and Heero when you're finished with Operation Persuasion, hack into the security network in the Peacecraft mansion." Duo grinned.
"Roger." Heero replied, typing into his laptop.
"Trowa. Wufei. I'm putting you guys on supply reconnaissance. Please gather ample supplies of the following: flour, baking powder, salt, sugar, baby oil, shampoo, masculine music, and tiny or oversized clothes. Any questions men?" Duo turned away from the board to survey his friends' expressions.
"Nope" Trowa replied, making note of the supplies.
"Do you have a preference for masculine music?" Wufei smirked as he emphasized the word "masculine".
"Nope! Anything from heavy metal to rap or punk rock will work as long as it's got swearing and screaming in it's lyrics." Duo replied, ignoring Wufei's smirk.
"What about me?" Quatre asked.
"Quatre buddy! You'll be working with me." Duo replied "We'll have the most important job – we're going into the lioness's den!"