A/N: Okie dokie! Here's the other chapter, is has been finished for a long time, but due to difficulties and my computer's hatred of me, it took me a while to type it and post.

Warnings: 1+2 for now. Shounen ai.

Declaimer: I am money-less, so you can't sue me, besides, I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its characters.

Side Notes: \/ Lyrics, (#) Explanation at bottom, sound, Flashback

Extra Side Note: I couldn't find any other songs by Incubus that would go with where I want this story to head, so sorry, I just hope you like Hoobastank too!

Train of Thought …Wish You Were Here, continued…

By: Lemony Sickness

Lyrics by: Hoobastank, Up and Gone (HOOBASTANK)

\Staring at the white above.

Can't tell if I'm alive or am I dead.

or is it in my head./

The sky moves flawlessly above me. I feel weird and desolate as I sit in my usual spot upon Mortemer. I just got off the phone with the last person I ever expected to call: Une. I knew she could tell I was confused by my startled tone, but like usual, she didn't waste time and pressed bluntly forward.

"The war may be over Heero, but there are still those who find being rebellious humorous," Une stated plainly, a hint of anger edging her normal business tone.

"Hn"

"It's needless to say, but... I need you. You and every other able soldier to help stamp out these rekindling flames of war."

"When do you need me?"

"Ah. I am happy with your compliance, your help is appreciated. I will send the needed information through another resource."

"How many are..."

Une cut him off, "You are the first I have contacted prier to this mission. Well, good day."

It ended as quickly as it began, leaving me in a confused state of mind. Agreeing to partake in the job had it's pro's and con's: I would be fighting for a cause, making me feel needed again, and I would have a plausible excuse for missing Quatre's get-together. But do I want to be the cause of more innocent civilians deaths? ...Hopefully it won't come to that.

Now I sit here wondering if my decision was biased, while the wind blows against my skin bringing laughter wafting to my ears. When you and I used to sit here and look at the clear sky we would try deciphering the shapes of the white cottony looking clouds above us. During these moments I would wonder if I was dead or alive, but I would never question that aloud, afraid of your laughter of how dense I would have sounded. I glance at the spot where you would sit beside me and see nothing, and sigh.

\Staring at the white above one day

I closed by eyes and here I am

a cold unhappy man/

I lose my thoughts focus as a beach ball flies into my view; it was coming straight at me and on reflex I caught the ball and sat up and glanced around for the owners. Two anxious looking kids approached cautiously and laughed sheepishly, asking if they could have their ball back. Tossing the colorful ball down to them, I watched them wave and smile their thanks before romping off towards their awaiting friends.

I lean back on my elbows again and close my eyes sharply when the sun peeks out from around a cloud and shines its brilliant light at me. I can tell the sun has decided to go into hiding again, but I keep my eye's shut anyway. Those kids brought other thoughts to my mind I didn't want to broach.

Where I was, I had no family, no friends, no pets, and no children. What is it like to be truly happy?

\I've come to realize the life I have I hate.

The plus I need is slowly fading

until I've lost it all./

To be happy is something else, but for now I'm content. I'm content to hate my life in peace. Besides, I'm only 21; I have the rest of my goddamned life to start a family... Right?

I've come so close to death so many times. Skirting the edges of losing my soul, but always managing to make a "full recovery". Full recovery my ass, for I've got scars that would give children nightmares... They give me nightmares. I can easily say I'm immune to death, because to die is just simply an end to my biggest and longest mission. But to die would also mean I failed that mission, which would be "not acceptable" on my part. So I've got nothing to lose, but nothing to gain.

\I've been waiting for an inspiration,

for a chance I never got to take,

before it's much to late./

I've been waiting for someone or something to come and change my life. I've been hoping that it would be you, but to no avail, for you're not here, and I'm still uninspired. I've been rejected my whole life, but to have you do it, would shatter my dreams.

\Where did I go wrong?/

Tell me please, how did we grow so far apart?

\Where's the boy that used to run?

Could it be he's up and gone away?

He seems so far away.

And all the things I could have done

could it be they've up and gone away?

They seem so far away./

They say a wandering mind only makes things worse. Maybe it does, but it's all I've got to pass the time.

What would I be like if I hadn't been a soldier? Would I be like the kids over there, with friends, family, laughter, and love? Or would I have been like you, a war orphan left to fend for myself. Or would I have grown up to be a doctor or a teacher, earning my pay by other means than killing and causing explosions. But the kid inside me has gone, never to return; beyond reach.

\It feels as if the boy in me has left

and been replaced with a cheap and bitter imposter of myself./

Relena seems to think that the old me can be coached out. Maybe. Not likely. For he has been pushed aside and shunned. Or maybe he's frightened of the new me. The cold, machine-like shell, that's taken his place in life and overruled his existence, like a bad virus that's unable to be deleted.

\I must find the one that used to be.

Approach him slow,

don't be afraid to say,

"Can he come out and play?"/

Relena tried to make light of the subject on my childhood, telling me I should make it a mission to retrieve and rescue my former self. I chuckled at the playfulness, but now the thought doesn't sound as desperate as it once did. Maybe if I win, you'll find something in me.

But as I jumped down from my perch on the old rock, I shake my head at the turn of events my mind has taken.

\Where'd I do wrong?/

But I'm willing to try.

TBC…

Thanks all for reading. Please someone leave a review!!! I have no idea if you all even like this and if I should even continue to post it or finish up the chapters!!!