Author Notes: None
Pairing: Tosh/Mary; Mention of Owen/Gwen
Summary: Tosh thinks about Mary.
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters.
Rate: PG
Season: 1
Category: Character Reflections; Romance
Spoilers: Up to They Keep Killing Suzie
Series: Catchphrase
Toshiko Sato"It is better to love and lost than never to love at all."
-English Proverb
Tosh was angry, well maybe not angry but she was upset. She had plans for today, set plans that included testing a new program for Torchwood. But since Jack had decided to play the good boss she now had nothing to do. She fall back on her bed, she could always go back to sleep. How long had it been since she had more then three hours sleep. Hitting the bed she knew when, since Jack killed Mary.
Mary was not a good person, she was a villain. She was the thing they were supposes to stop, she killed innocent lives. Yet Tosh knew that she had loved her, she was the first person since joining Torchwood that got her. Those few nights lying in this bed with her were the best for Tosh. Because she knew, she knew what Tosh did. She knew when she went to work, what she was actually doing. At that point she didn't think there were any lies between them, for the first time someone was being honest with her.
Mary had loved her; she could feel that could sense that. Making love to her was the greatest experience Tosh had felt, and in one moment that was gone. She could still hear Mary's voice in her head saying her name. It was like a whisper now but then it was the loudest voice in the room. She wiped the tears away as flung herself out of the bed. She would not think about this today or tomorrow. She had loved and she had lost end of story.
Mary had unchained her heart she had been closed off to the whole world. Owen was the man she thought she wanted, the one she thought she wanted. Now she knew that it would never have worked, they were just too different. Gwen on the other hand was right for him. She had seen them grow closer over the past weeks, she was afraid of what Owen would do when he realized how close.
Standing up she grabbed her clothing before heading to the shower. She had the whole day off, and instead of working she was going to enjoy it. The sun was shinning today despite the time a year. Christmas was in a few weeks and she had not done any shopping yet. For the first time in along time Tosh smiled a real smile--today was a brand new day. Picking up her phone she dialed Gwen's number, no reason she should go alone. Tosh only laughed when it was Owen's voice the grumbled a sleepy hello.
The End