Mr. Baritone ( to the tune of "Mr. Cellophane" from "Chicago")
Sung by Piangi:
Suppose you were a guy
Have thrown in his face, a pie
And whipped crème got in his eye…
You'd notice him
Suppose you were a technician named Joe
Getting strangled by the opera ghost
And you had a bruise on your nose…
You'd notice him!
And even though I'm losing my hair
I still work at the Opera Populaire
And even though I have a good job
I still wonder why… the…patron…is a fop…
Chorus:
Baritone
Mr. Baritone
I'm all alone,
Mr. Baritone
Because my wife Carly
Is getting real snarly
And I think she's angry …
Suppose you were a dancer
Playing the role of Prancer
And you were standing next to Rudolph…
You'd notice him
Suppose you were Madame Giry
With an accent that was eerie
And you were getting notes from the Phantom…
You'd notice him!
And even though I can sing
I wish Carlotta would wear her wedding ring
And, as a matter of fact,
She needs to learn…how…to…act…
Baritone
Mr. Baritone
I'm all alone,
Mr. Baritone
Because my wife Carly
Is getting real snarly,
And I think she's angry…
I tell ya…
Baritone
Mr. Baritone
I'm going home,
Mr. Baritone
Because my complaining
And my singing is getting really old.
Did I … mention… that I… am a baritone?