There Are bad things I can do (to the tune of "There are worse things I could do" from "Grease")
Sung by the Phantom:
There are bad things I can do
Like kill a guy, or two
Even though they all think I'm crazy, weird, and no good
I suppose that it is true
But there are worse things I could do
I could seduce all the girls
Play around with Christine's curls
Put her in a hypnotic trance
Teach her the chicken dance
And kill of that darn fop
Or destroy my laptop
I could sit here
In Box 5
And write the music
Of the night
Kidnap Christine Daae
And kill during the ballet
Boy, my mask is cool…
I could hang Joseph Buquet
Listen to my monkey all day
Go to the masquerade
In a jealous rage
And threaten Carlotta
And that bitch, Jane Fonda
I don't steal, but I do lie
I can feel and I can cry
a fact I'll bet you never knew
all this is completely true
there are bad things I could do…