Hello, Goodbye ( to the tune of "Sunrise, Sunset" from "Fiddler on the Roof")
Sung by the cast:
Madame Giry:
Is this the little girl I taught to
Dance to the overture of Faust
And the little girl I brought here
She is now lost…
Hello, Goodbye
Hello, Goodbye
At least I still have Meg
The opera house is now burning
This place is a powder keg!
Raoul:
Where have I heard that powder keg line?
I think from another show.
Oh, well Christine went with him
Where, I want to know…
Hello, Goodbye
Hello, Goodbye
Tell the managers to stop stalking me!
Get rid of that bitch Carlotta
And replace her with Christine!
Erik:
For once I agree with the vicompte
Who knew he had such good taste?
I guess that's why Christine left me
I need to buy more toothpaste…
Hello, Goodbye
Hello, Goodbye
Maybe I'll see a cosmetic surgeon
And then I'll be sexy
Too bad I'm still a virgin…
Christine:
How do they expect me to choose
Between my teacher and my friend
Why is this song so long?
Will it ever end?
Hello, Goodbye
Hello, Goodbye
I need to stop curling my hair
It always looks so terribly frizzy
Why did I follow him in my underwear?
Managers:
Why did we hire Carlotta
And that stooge of hers, Piangi?
Why is our hair so bad?
I better put a hat on me…
Hello, Goodbye
Hello, Goodbye
Swiftly through the scenes
One opera following another
Laiden murders and broken chandeliers…
Meg:
Why did my mom suggest her?
I'm not that bad!
There are all of the dancers
Scantily-clad…
Hello, Goodbye
Hello, Goodbye
Mabye I should go
Flirt with the vicomptes brother
Maybe he can give me a ride home…
Phillipe:
Who is that little blondie
Who keeps trying to flirt with me?
Why should I give her a ride home?
What's she ever done for me?
Hello, Goodbye
Hello, Goodbye
I think my bro is weird
It must be because of his haircut
Perhaps he should grow a beard…
Piangi:
Why did I ever marry her
When I could've had that other chick
I thought my movie deserved Best Picture
Damn, what an awesome flick!
Hello, Goodbye
Hello, Goodbye
This song is getting long
Ok, maybe a few more verses…
EW! Carlotta wearing a thong!
Joseph Buquet:
Why didn't I finish college?
Why didn't I pay the rent?
Oh, well, this job isn't so bad
If you know what I mean, hint-hint…
Hello, Goodbye
Hello, Goodbye
Making fun of the Phantom is fun!
Hey, what are you doing with that lasso?
What have I ever done?
Darius:
How come me, my boss, and Phillipe
Aren't featured in the movie?
I like to listen to The Beatles
Man, are they groovy!
Hello, Goodbye
Hello, Goodbye
I'm singing my verse
Maybe I'll watch the Cubs game
Even though they are cursed…
Nadir:
Well, it's about time now
That I got to sing
If you're wondering, it came from Persia
That creepy monkey thing…
Hello, Goodbye
Hello, Goodbye
Damn it, Carlotta is next
Why is she even in the movie?
I am so vexed!
Carlotta:
I love to be the Prima Donna
And to boss everyone around
Why did the backdrop fall down
And knock me to the ground?
Hello, Goodbye
Hello, Goodbye
Reyer is next in line…
Then one final verse will do
Until next time…
Reyer ( the conductor):
Why am I such a minor character?
Why does my hair look like Firman's?
The movie didn't get many Oscars
But it did good at Cannes!
Hello, Goodbye
Hello, Goodbye
One final verse to come
Gerard Butler also starred in
A movie about Attila, the Hun!
All:
Finally, this song is over!
I'm getting out of breath!
I think I'll talk to manager about this.
His name is Seth…
Hello, Goodbye
Hello, Goodbye
I'm running out of rhymes!
This song has bashed Carlotta
Way too few times!