Author's Note: Well I'm very glad you guys approve. To daisy617: In the future Oliver told a 25 year old Lily they didn't have any children at age 35 on September 24, 2026. Now I begin chapter 13 a few days after that event. So I told everyone they didn't have any kids not that they couldn't have them. Yes, one of the nurses in chapter 5 told them it was very unlikely but never no. Does that make any sense? I hope I somewhat answered your question. Anyway, I have a very small favor to ask of you readers. Names! I would like people's inputs on baby names. I have a few ideas myself but I just wanted to keep it open. And in the final product if I don't end up using your given name please don't take it personally.
……
(November 1, 2026 Lily and Oliver: 35)
LILY: Well I don't feel much different. I'm standing in front of the mirror just staring at myself. I'm still wearing my big red t-shirt I wore to bed last night and my hair is down and frizzy. Oliver and I haven't told anyone about the baby.
Part of me is scared to tell everyone. Maybe what I saw wasn't real? Maybe this is all a big joke of some kind and I'll end up loosing this baby like the last one. If I let the cat out of the bag then it might all just disappear. And if I loose this child Oliver and I won't be the only ones hurt in the end.
"What do you want for breakfast?!" Oliver yells from the kitchen downstairs.
"Oatmeal!" I shout still looking in the mirror. I need to tell them. But most of all I need to tell Cindy. She and I really need to talk…but I'm scared.
After a long hot shower I find Oliver dancing around the kitchen to our small red radio on the counter. He's frying up eggs and heating the oatmeal all while wearing a white apron.
"Wow it's like Mr. Mom." I laugh taking a seat.
Quickly he jerks the apron off and smiles sheepishly. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine… no puking yet…. Oliver I want to tell people now."
"You do!" He's excited I've been the one holding back. I'm the scared one.
"Yes, I want to my mom first." After I say this I feel only a little better. Oliver sets down the breakfast and we eat with smiles…
"You can do this." Oliver tells me while rubbing my shoulders as I reach for the phone. I'm going to call my mother up and ask her to come to our house and there I'll let my family know.
"Wait!" I say backing up. I turn around and bump into Oliver. "I don't know… I mean Oliver?" I'm not sure what I'm asking. I'm just scared. I can't loose this.
"It's going to be fine. You are the most courageous woman I know. Lily we are not going to loose this baby. It is different. I have complete faith in this." He cups my face and strokes my cheeks with his thumbs.
I feel a little better. But then it comes, a panic attack. My palms begin to sweat and I tear myself away from Oliver. I clutch my stomach and wait for the disappearing act. I close my eyes tightly and grit my teeth. Instead of crashing to a hard surface I feel warm hands wrap around me.
"Look at me Lily." He pleads. I open my eyes and find Oliver's worried face staring back at me. "You are here." He says. And I' am. My daughter and I are connected. We will not travel during these nine mouths. I can just stay here, with Oliver.
I walk over to the phone and dial my parent's number. Next Oliver calls his parents and later we invite the Ryan's. We are planning a dinner party and some time during the evening we will share our news.
(November 2, 2026 Lily and Oliver: 35)
LILY: Cindy's office is very cold. Her thermostat is broken and I'm wrapped up in my old winter coat. She is writing a few things down and paying no mind to me. Oliver is in the waiting room. I didn't want him in here.
"Alright now I can talk, sorry about all of that." She doesn't smile at me. Instead she gets up and unlocks her drawer. She takes out all of my paperwork and sets in down on the desk between us. It's raining outside. I hear it pounding on the window. The sound soothes me.
"Now what is it you wanted to talk about?" Cindy asks clasping her hands and placing them on her desk. She leans forward a little too eager. I tried out a billion ways to tell her. I've never been good at saying things at the right time and the right way. So I do it my way, the Lily way.
"I'm pregnant."
Everything gets a little quieter. The rain is still pouring hard outside and beating the windows and walls. I can hear another doctor in the other room speaking with a patient. I can't make out the words; it's all muffled and soft.
"Excuse me?" That is Cindy's most intelligent responds. "How… how did this happen?"
"Well when a man and woman love each other they-"
"Lily!"
"Sorry."
She runs her fingers through her graying brown hair and stares at the desk top. "This can never work out Lily."
"Why not?" I'm completely calm. I can't get too frustrated.
"Lily have you forgotten why I'm even involved in your life? It's impossible it's a miracle you could even conceive. How do you know this won't turn out the same way it did with your miscarriage?"
"Because I saw her, I saw my daughter!" I shout back forgetting all thought about being calm.
Doctor Brown sighs. "I know before you said during sex you can't travel correct?"
I nod. "So I thought it could somehow correspond with my baby, minis the sex. When I'm connected with someone physically weather that be with Oliver or my daughter with an umbilical cord I won't leave. I'll stay here until she's born."
"But you can't know that for a fact." Doctor Brown fights back.
"Can't you put a little faith in me?"
"I don't think you get this. I can't test on you or work with you for nine months. It would be such a waste of time! Lily we need to do everything we can to fight this."
I feel like she just spit in my face. "A waste of time?" I hiss at her. My temper is burning. "Is that what you think?"
She locks eyes with me. "I didn't mean it like that Lily. I was only speaking from scientific terms."
"Well save it. I'm having this baby and it won't be a waste."
Doctor Brown shakes her head. I lunge across the table and grab her by the collar of her white lab coat. "I'm dying Doctor Brown and when I'm gone I want Oliver to have something to live for. I want a little girl that looks like me to help him coup. So if you think I'm wasting time then so be it!" I let her go with my eyes still burning towards hers. I'm feud up.
Brown sits down and holds her head in her hands. "Do you know if she travels too?"
"Yes, and she does." I say reaching for the doorknob.
"I'm going to give you a good doctor. She delivered both of my girls. I'm going to give her all of your paperwork so she knows what's coming." Cindy quickly grabs a post-it and writes the lady's name down I wait.
Cindy hands me the piece of paper and waits. "Thank-you."
"Welcome Lily and I'm happy for you."
"Which side of you is saying that?"
I watch her lips curl up into what I think is a small smile. "The scientist in me is saying your crazy and I shouldn't let you go. The human in me… well I'm happy for you."
OLIVER: The door opens and I jump up. Lily walks out with a small yellow post-it in her hand and tears in her eyes.
"Did you two have a fight?" I ask ready and willing to beat up Doctor Brown.
"Yes and no." Lily smiles swiping a tear away. I don't understand but I'm just glad to see her smiling so I don't question it.
"Come on let's go get ready for tonight." She says taking my hand. In the elevator Lily leans on my chest and I wrap my arms around her. I love her body, I love her hair. I like running my hands down her sides and feeling her curves.
I tell Lily that I'll do the running around and all the cooking. She needs to rest. There are bags under her eyes. After making sure she is safe and sleeping soundly in our bedroom I get to work. I set out eight places at the table. Two for my parents and Lily's then Miley, Jake and lastly me and Lily.
Our dinner guests won't be arriving till eight. I still have two hours to do whatever. The chicken is in the oven and the vegetables are simmering. The kitchen smells heavenly. I have a quick swig of beer and then I head into the den where my books lay waiting to be read.
I pick up my copy of The Light of Day by Graham Swift and collapse in my arm chair. I flip through it and find my page. I sigh with a smile and drift into another world.
"Reading, reading when did you and I get so cultured?"
I turn my head around slowly and find Lily leaning up against the doorframe with her arms folded over her chest. She looks so perfect that I can't speak at first. "Come here." I say after a while. She walks over slowly taking her time and I move my book aside and she squeezes in beside me.
I lean in and kiss the side of her neck. I breathe in the scent of her skin and listen to the November rain fall. She lets me run my hands up her shirt and onto her breasts. Lily closes her eyes and rests her head back on the top of the arm chair.
I kiss her chin and move back down. Outside it's cloudy and I feel her soft smooth skin through the dark. I know her body as well as I do my own. We make one complete person together. Adam and Eve. Part of a whole. Together forever… even in death…
I change into more formal clothes and brush my teeth quickly. My parents are sitting in the living room waiting. Lily is currently trying her best to entertain them but failing miserably I walk in during the knock, knock jokes.
"Oh thank god!" She exclaims when I sit down next to her.
"Hello? Someone?" Lily jumps up and runs to her parents. They greet her with wide grins and loving kisses. A moment later Miley and Jake appear in the doorway with baked goods and smiles.
Lily brags about my cooking and makes it known that it was all me. I try to stop her but she claims I'm 'just too modest.' During desert (strawberry cheesecake with a famous strawberry dressing I concocted drizzled onto the top) Lily gently takes my hand, this is it. She nervously fumbles with her napkin and clears her throat.
"There is a reason Oliver and I asked you guys to come tonight." She pauses and I nod to give her support. This is Lily's evening and I will give her the glory of sharing our good news.
"Well I'm… you see oh hell I'm pregnant."
I can't help but laugh; that was a pure Lily moment. The table is quiet before her mother bursts into tears and grabs Lily and hugs her tightly. My dad along with Lily's shake hands and congratulate on being grandfathers. Miley is next after her mother to squeeze the life out of Lily. I feel a little bad. Lily has always hated getting too much attention true; she's crazy and loves parties but never being the center of it all.
Questions begging flying a mile a minute. Lily and I are too over whelmed to answer. Everyone is bubbling over with joy. Lily smiles happily and I know that she has finally realized what I tried to tell her.
"Oh I'll let you barrow a few of Rose's old things! And don't worry Lily I'll help with everything this is going to be very exciting! By the time I had Robert I was an expert at this!" Miley explains.
Jake pats me on the shoulder. "Alright man! Having kids is one of the best feelings. You are in for a great time."
Lily and I exchange glances from across the room. I wink at her and she blushes slightly and turns back to Miley as she babbles about what Lily should expect for the next few months.
Later when everyone leaves I find myself just staring at Lily as she washes the dishes. She look amazing in her light blue fitted dress. Her hair is now tied in a bun and she is drying her hands off with a dish rag.
"What are you doing?" She smirks giving me a funny look.
"Just basking in you beauty." I say with a sigh as if it was nothing.
"Why do I put up with you?" She laughs throwing the towel back on the counter.
"Novelty? My boyish good looks?"
"Dream on."
"Counting on it." I say getting up from the kitchen chair and hugging her closely.
(November 19, 2026 Lily and Oliver: 35)
LILY: I'm waiting for Oliver in our favorite little coffee shop. The room is warm and I feel like passing out on that green couch in the corner and calling it a day. I haven't ordered yet but if that boy doesn't show up soon I'll have too.
Morning sickness has finally gotten to me. Every day I wake and visit the toilet. We're great friends now. I'm craving bread and ice cream twenty four seven and right now I want coffee but I can't have it.
The door opens and I look up hoping to see a familiar face but it's not him. It's a tall blond woman. I sigh and put my head back on the table. I finger with the small salt and pepper shakers and count the seconds till I see my Ollie.
He had to run back to the out store and pick up a few things for the meeting next week. I wonder if-
"Excuse me?"
I lift my head it's the blond woman again. She's smiling so wide I think her lips might fling off her face.
"Yeah?" I say a little annoyed I'm not in the mood to small talk with a stranger.
"Are you…" She stops and shakes her head. "Are you Lily?" I nod and she's looking at me like I'm her own personal Jesus. Man! Did I know her from another time? Do I meet her later because I sure don't remember her.
"I'm your daughter."
Wait, what? "Huh?" I say as she sits down. I look at her. She has good hair nice hair bouncy a little curlier then mine and she is slim and pretty. "Hi." She smiles shaking my hand.
"Hey." I say slowly trying not to fall over.
"I know this is a lot to handle."
"How old are you?" I ask.
"Twenty six."
I really look at her now. My daughter grew up nicely. Like before there are my eyes and hair and skin color but as always when she smiles its all Oliver.
"Can you tell me your name or is it still a secret?" I say Oliver and I have been having the worst time with names.
She shakes her head no. "Sorry mom no can do. I saw you in the window and I just wanted to see you. I've missed you."
This hurts me. "So I guess I disappoint you a lot. Not being able to be with you."
My girl frowns. "No, never you loved me very fiercely." Her voice is so powerful and serious that I wonder if she's really talking about me.
"So how is your life? I know that's stupid but how are you with handling this traveling thing? Do you have any boyfriends?"
She laughs. "Well I'm married actually."
"What!" I shout.
"Last year I got married."
"To who?!" I'm mad she's too young.
"Robert Ryan." She blushes. I can't believe this. My kid falls for a Ryan?! Well if he's anything like Jake then I can't blame her.
"So? What's that like?" I ask not sure if I really want to know.
"It's good he understands my disability and we handle it together. Miley sometimes says we remind her of you and dad. My doctor is Cindy Brown actually. She's good but makes me want to strangle her sometimes." She laughs.
"Tell me about it. So enlighten me about this husband of yours."
"He's sweet. Robert is an artist he works for a publishing company and creates the pictures and covers for books."
I like him already. "What do you do?"
"I dabble in writing. I'm currently working on a novel about well you and dad." She is blushing as am I. She's writing a book about me?
"Why?"
"Because I love you." She says simply and it all makes perfect sense to me.
"It sounds like everything works out…" I stop I have a question that has burning inside of me every since I knew I was going to have a child. I take in a deep breath. "How old were you when… when I died?"
"…Eight."
Oh God. Oh God. I fall back on the chair and try my best not to throw up. This is too much I don't want to know anymore. That isn't enough time! I want to know this wonderful woman before me! I want to know my own daughter! This isn't fair!
"Mom?"
I don't speak.
"Oh mom don't I know what your thinking and you were there! For every time that I truly needed you. You came to my sixteenth birthday. You were at my wedding! You gave me long talks about growing up and getting my period! Mom you were there! You saw me grow up. I'm like this because of you."
We start to cry and get up and hug her. I'm hugging my future little girl. The shop door opens again and in walks Oliver.
"I finally find it. This sucker was under mountains of other paperwork and… who is this?"
I laugh at Oliver and make him sit next to me. "Oliver meet your daughter." He gets very quiet and looks from me to her and then back to me.
"Are you serious?"
"As a heart attack."
"Can I… can I hug you?" He asks bashfully.
"Oh course dad!" She smiles through the tears. As they hug and I watch. Oliver looks overjoyed. His eyes are wide with wonder
"I'll get you two pretty ladies a drink what do you want?" He asks me.
"Water."
"Coffee."
Oliver runs off to the counter.
"What about Ollie?" I ask her once he's out of ear shot. "What is he like afterwards?"
"Sad." She says grimly. I feel faint. "Just sad."
I try not to cry, I really try. I look away from my little girl. "But does he…" I try to take control over my shaky voice. "I mean does he learn to smile or laugh again?"
She shrugs. "Sometimes. When you come to visit on a trip he gets very happy and sad all at the same time. He usually pushes you to me. He likes for you and I to have as much time together as we can. He says is makes him feel selfish when he spends time with you. But he's a great dad. He tries for me. He says I'm the reason he lives."
I put my head in my hands. Oliver oh Oliver.
"Here we go." A cherry voice says setting down my water and our daughter's coffee.
I look up at him as he seats himself next to me. Oliver smiles softly at me and I lean in and kiss him fully on the mouth.
"Uh Lily?" Hr says pulling away. "Not in front of our daughter." She laughs and sips her coffee.
"To be honest dad I really don't mind have at it."
I snuggle closer to Oliver and hold him tightly. I press myself against him and he does not pull back. He grips me and puts his face in my hair.
"I think my time is up."
I look back at my little girl she is looking a little pale. "Safe journey home." I tell her with a soft smile.
As she walks away she shouts. "Always and forever!"
The coffee shop door shuts and I don't see her. Oliver kisses me and I kiss back. We are kissing and I never want to stop. Outside it is gray and cloudy and cold. But in his arms all is safe and warm. I don't want to go.
…….
To be honest I wasn't sure about doing what I did there. Do you hate me? I'm sorry it had to be this way. I've been listening to a lot of RachaelYamagata. For the middle and ending part of this I was humming along with her song: "Would You Please." I like it.
Lazy Days