Author's Note:
CraftyNotePad: I hate it when pomes are not capitalized so that's why I didn't leave E E Cummings things in lower case. Sorry, It just really bothers me I know that's a lame excuse. Also I don't think I'll add little Bee. She's not really going to be a major character, but then again I think it's all in the way you look at it. There will be more interaction with her as an adult or teen (I haven't quiet decided on the exact age I want it to mean something.) As always I still love your thoughts and sharp eye.
Simplypink: Well I'm very sorry I made you cry. Believe me it's wasn't my intention. But I'm happy you're still enjoying it.
X Miss Magic X: You're right. Even the somewhat happy scenes are a tad depressing knowing that a dark future is to come. But I hope you'll keep reading.
LovesNature: Ai! Ai Captain! Here is your next chapter. So I guess this means your enjoying the story?
Lilerin91: Believe it or not I don't want Lily to die but it's just too good to pass up. I do hope though that the over all ending will make you happy, you'll understand when I finish.
Daisy617: Yes, yes sad but true. Although Lily will be there through out most of her daughter's life. But I know it's just not the same. I'm very happy to see that your still reading even though your not a big Oliver/Lily fan. Thanks.
To those of you guys who are reading this but not commenting: Hello and thank-you for wasting your summer on me. And if you happen to feel like it, comment. What you say doesn't matter I just like hearing that people are still happily reading.
…….
(October 27, 2033 Lily and Oliver: 42)
LILY: The music is loud. I don't want to think. I want to drown and never come up from the strong melodies and words. I' am perfectly aware of my whole body. My senses are perked and everything in me tingles. It is early evening, twilight. I'm lying in our backyard on the grass. I' am one with the earth.
I was given life from the ground. God breathed life into me from the dirt. I run my hands over the soft green grass. I have accepted it. I understand it. I know how it ends, now. It goes like this: I will be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Always, always the wrong time for me. I will not see it coming.
It will be late at night on an autumn evening. It will be cold and it will be drizzling all in the year 1995. Oliver will be asleep, he will be four years old. There will be five men, big and strong. There will be an argument outside of the local bar.
I will land right in the middle of it. The men won't see me until after the first few punches until after the gun shot. It will be quick and I thank the heavens for that. The wind will pick up as I lie there. I'll smell the rusted and iron scent of my blood.
And I will think nothing, I will not breath, I will not move. I'll lie in a curled position screaming, screaming his name: Oliver! Oliver! Because just like a thief time and death work together side by side.
And then: Dear God. Dear God. Dear God. Hush! Hide! I'll disappear. I sit up from my lounging spot on the grass. My body has made an imprint in the ground. The grass is bent at a funny angle. I' am the grass. Imprinted in this life but always the grass will straighten. And I will be erased.
I walk to the house's back door. As I twist the knob the thought comes to me and I stare up at the sky as an airplane flies by: Somewhere out there I' am dying…
(October 31, 2033 Lily and Oliver: 42)
OLIVER: I have taken Beatrix out tricker treating. She is passed out on the kitchen table with thousands of candy wrappers around her.
"Maybe we should have taught her about self control?" Lily offers standing next to me looking at her with her arms wrapped around her waist.
"Nah." I smile. "She had a blast."
I watch as Lily picks her up and carries her to her room, I follow silently. Once setting her on the bed Lily begins to peel the bumble bee costume off of our daughter. Beatrix groans as Lily pulls down her black tights.
"Just leave it." Bee yawns turning over. Lily and I share a laugh. I turn off the light and kiss her good night.
"How was your day?" I ask Lily sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling my socks off.
"So-so. I hung out and read a little more of my book. We only got three costumers I think Miley told everyone how bad our candy was."
"Those damn Ryan's." I laugh falling back my legs still dangling off the edge of the bed. Lily is acting strange. She is standing in the bathroom just staring at herself in the mirror. I want to know what is going through her head. Where has she been? I stay put on the bed waiting for her to come to bed.
She looks too thin, it bothers me. She looks sick. "Hey Lily? You wanna get some sleep?"
She doesn't answer. She keeps staring, and standing very still. I'm getting scared. "Lily? Lily?" I rush to her my heart pounding hard in my chest.
"Stand back!" She commands. "Close your eyes!"
I recoil my hands and wait. Lily leans towards the sink her eyes shut tight. She lets out a low growl and begins convulsing as though she is being electrified. Her head begins nodding violently and she screams "Oliver!" And I shut my eyes. There is a noise like a bed sheet being snapped but much louder.
I open my eyes and the mirror has a long crack running down the middle. Our bathroom is a disaster. Towels, clothes from the laundry basket all scattered around the small white bathroom. I take a step back to afraid to touch anything, to move anything. I run to Bee. She is sitting up in her bed crying.
"Daddy?" She squeaks softly. I walk over and put her head to my chest. She wraps her tiny hands around me and sniffs into my gray t-shirt. What can we do? What can we do other then wait, worry, and fear?
"You're bleeding." Bee tells me when she pulls back. She runs a finger across my cheek. I get up and go to the half bathroom that is down the hall from my daughter's room. I flick the lights on and look at my face. And sure enough there is a trail of blood and long scratch where a piece of glass must have gotten too.
I hear an exceptionally loud crash in the kitchen. "Stay in bed!" I yell to Bee as I run to where I heard the loud noise. I brace myself for whatever I could find. I see the blood before I find her. I see the glass all over the floor from our cups and dishes.
"Lily?" I whisper. There is a short soft whimper. I peer from around the table. She is lying on the cold tile. Lily is curled up in a tight ball. Her arms are wrapped around her legs which are pulled up to her chest.
She is caked in blood. It's dried and crushed over her pale skin. I feel like throwing up but instead I get on the floor and lean forward to her. I hold out my hand to touch her but I'm scared that I might hurt her more. "Lily? Lily can you move? Can you hear me?" My mind is frazzled and I can't quite get it together.
"Oliver?" She answers weakly. I stand up and grab the phone. I press nine and then she speaks up. "Don't! Don't call the hospital." Her voice is low and scratchy. She rolls over and I see the damage. Lily has been beaten. I run to the living room and grab a blanket and drape it over her carefully.
"Do you want me to get you to the bed? Couch? What? You tell me and I'll do it!" I say quickly. Lily shakes her head. "Just shut- up." She seethes while squeezing her eyes shut and putting her hand over her face.
I close my mouth and wait. Lily slowly gets up she wobbles I catch her. I carry her to the couch and lay her down. Next I walk back to the kitchen and grab a dishrag and soak it with warm water. The living room is dark but I can see her pale body from the dim kitchen lights.
I press the cloth over her wounds and wipe the blood away. "Can I talk now?" I ask her still cleaning her up. "Sure." Lily sighs tiredly.
"Where did you go?"
"First, December 16, 1992 and then March 13, 2016." Lily answers me dryly. "And why are you bleeding?" I say cringing.
Lily shrugs. "I woke up in an alleyway naked and there was two men who-" I feel her shudder under the blanket. I kiss her forehead. "You're home now, it's over." I bring out the alcohol and bandages.
"Mommy?" I see Bee standing from behind the couch staring at us with sad eyes.
"Come here Bumble Bee." Lily smiles weakly with open arms. Beatrix climbs onto the couch and over to Lily. She flings her arms around her mother and cries in her neck.
(November 18, 2033 Lily and Oliver: 42)
LILY: What a dreadful day. The sky is cloudy and overcast. Oliver and I took Bee to school today. He and I went shopping at the small grocery store afterwards. We bought a bushel of apples and ate them while setting up the store.
The blue prints for the upstairs of the music shop are finally finished. Oliver has it all planned out. He wants it to a lounge where people can read and listen to their music. I think its great idea and encourage him to pursue it.
It's later in the afternoon now. Around six o'clock. My usual chair in Cindy's office seems even more uncomfortable then it did last time. And what is worse is that Cindy isn't looking at me. She has a very gloomy air about her and I know something positively horrible is coming.
"Lily I…." She pauses and closes my folder, the folder we have gone through again and again. The folder that we have revert back to time and time again. And she's closing it and putting it off to the side.
"Lily I'm very sorry." I wait I knew this was coming and part of me thinks I've always known. "I can't do it. There's nothing more I can do. I've disappoint you and I can't express how deeply and incredibly upset I' am over this. But there is nothing."
It surprises me, I'm not mad at her. I'm not mad at the world or god or whatever I'm just numb. A very small fraction of my heart and mind had high hopes. I kept thinking, maybe, maybe… But now, sitting here in my old sneakers, jeans, and green sweater I'm tired. I'm done. We gave it our best shot. I get up with Cindy and shake her hand. I tell her that she is amazing and I'm not sorry I ever met her.
I walk home. I don't take my usual bus home. I walk slowly and ponder many things. I contemplate my life. I think about Beatrix, she is my one and only pride and joy. And she is perfect. I see her life rolled out like a red carpet.
So many wonderful things will happen in her lifetime. I picture her in my mind. Now, as a child, then a teenager, and finally as a grown woman. She is beautiful and everything I wanted her to be and so much more.
And then my thoughts come to Oliver. Oh Oliver, my best friend, my lover. He is my foundation, my rock. I love him more then I ever imagined possibly. Can one human being, one soul trapped in a body really feel this much compassion towards another? Sometimes I feel like I might burst and little candy hearts will flow from my insides.
When I open the front door I hear Colin Hay's I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You playing loudly. I frown because I know it's Oliver's sad song. I walk slowly into our den. Oliver is seated in the big brown armchair. He's drinking a scotch and has his hand over his face.
"Quel est notre dilemme du bien-aimé de jour ?" I ask him with my soft voice that I use only for French.
"C'est le temps, le jour, l'heure même qui vous et je séparerai à jamais aimera la mer rouge seulement pas Dieu que se réunissons." He says to me with such remorse and deep sadness that I cannot speak. Instead I listen as Mr. Hay sings: "I shook the hand of time and I knew…" Knew what? Knew what?
I sit on the arm of the chair and look out the window with Oliver. I hear Bee in her room laughing as she plays with her dolls. I hear the dishwasher running. I put my arm around Oliver and I play with the ends of his hair. It is getting gray now. Two streaks running along just above his ears.
I realize that we are older now. I' am not sixteen anymore and it burns a whole in my heart. What will become of my Oliver I do not know. I just hope he puts the broken pieces of his scattered heart back together. I just hope he stays so tender and true because that is how he is for me. Gentle and boyish with his funny smile and kind eyes.
His eyes are my security blanket, my home. I never ever want them to loose their spark.
"Come on." Oliver says getting up and turning off the music. "No use sulking. I'll make diner and we'll laugh about the good old days." He takes my hand and leads me to the kitchen. Just as he is about to turn away and preheat the oven I kiss him.
He moves so that he is right in front of me and I press myself further against him. I want to melt into him and make us one full person so that I can never leave. I smile against his lips and pull away but only a little. I can still feel his breathe hot on my face. "We need to make our own time." I tell him. He laughs and I know that no other sound could be as sweet as this.
…..
I'm very sorry that this is so short. But I do have a life and I'm going out for the evening so I'll update when I can. By the way Colin Hay is really cool so you guys should check him out.
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Lazy Days