Yo, wazzup readers?? Finally wrote a new chapter... Took me a while to get over my mood... (If you don't know what I'm talking about, read "Pissed") So just read this one and it may be offensive to some of you little dudes...
NEWS HEADLINES: SpongeBob's mother has just passed away. Mr. Krabs is the most disappointed because this means that Spongebob will be taking a very long leave... These are some off the things that Mr. Krabs did at the funeral...
Told SpongeBob's dad that his wife's last wish was that she made love with you.
Told the undertaker that he couldn't close the coffin until he found his contact lens.
Punched the body and told people that it hit you first.
Told SpongeBob's dad that he was the deceased's gay lover.
Asked someone to take a snapshot of him shaking hands with the deceased.
At the cemetery, played taps on a kazoo.
Walked around telling people that he had seen the will and they're not in it.
Asked SpongeBob's dad to give him a kiss.
Drove behind SpongeBob's dad's limo and kept honking your horn.
Told the undertaker that his worm just died and asked if he could sneak it into the coffin.
Put a hard-boiled egg in the mouth of the deceased.
Put a whoopee cushion under SpongeBob's dad.
Left some phony dog poop on top of the deceased.
Told SpongeBob's dad that he had to leave early and asked if the will could be read before the funeral was over.
Urged SpongeBob's dad to give the deceased's wooden leg (a/n: Now how did SpongeBob's mom get a wooden leg??) to someone poor who can't afford firewood.
Walked around telling people that the deceased didn't like them.
Used the deceased's tongue to lick a stamp.
Asked SpongeBob's dad for money which the deceased owed him.
Took up a collection to pay off the deceased's gambling debts.
Asked SpongeBob's dad if he could have the body to practice tattooing on.
Put Super Glue on the deceased's lips just before SpongeBob's dad's last kiss.
Showed up at the funeral services in a clown suit.
When SpongeBob's dad cried, Mr. Krabs blew a trumpet every time he wiped his nose.
When no-one's was looking, slipped plastic vampire-teeth into the deceased's mouth.
Tossed a handful of cooked rice on the deceased and screamed "MAGGOTS! MAGGOTS!" and pretended to faint.
At the cemetery took bets on how long it would take the body to decompose.
Got Squidward to call him on his cell phone during the ceremony and pretended that he was talking to the deceased person.
Pushed SpongeBob's dad as he bent over to throw dirt on the coffin.
Circulated a petition to have the body stuffed instead of buried.
Told everyone that he was from the IRS and that he was confiscating the coffin for back-taxes.
Promised the minister a hundred dollars if he didn't keep a straight face while praising the deceased.
Wrote "Best before last week" on the top of the coffin when nobody was looking.
Accidentally sneezed on the deceased, and literally wiped the smile off SpongeBob's mom's face.