Author's Note:
CraftyNotePad: You do know that you're killing me, right? And those chains are pretty damn tight. I suppose I really don't have a life because when I'm not writing this story I'm thinking about it non-stop. Talk about pathetic. Now here's the thing: Lily is already dead. She can't change it. It is inevitable, but that doesn't mean I can't play with the idea. There's always room to mix things up. Of course Beatrix is going to have a bigger role (I think this is the seventh time I've changed my outline for this story). She will come in handy but can she save her mother? Can she beat time and death, the thieves that snatch away her mom?! … I can't tell it's a mystery, even to me.
Lilerin91: To be honest I've changed my ending so many times I don't know what to choose anymore. But I'm happy to know you're pumped and ready for anything. Thanks.
Summer1994: Well I hope you have a wonderful day too! And really I don't intent on making people cry. Sorry about that. I'm looking forward to reading your 'depressing' story. I looked on your profile but didn't see it (It was probably there I'm just extremely slow). Give me the title when you post it. I'd love to read it.
Spencer-Sweetie: That's not weird at all to be happy and sad at the same time reading this. Because the present is so light and wonderful but the future seems dark and gray… or maybe not? Keep reading.
200Hannahfan4ever002: I'm happy to know you're enjoying this. Although I couldn't help but blush a little when you thought it was the best story you've read. Believe me, there are much better stories out there. But in any case I'm humbled and thankful.
Simplypink: Summer school sucks! I remember having to go once many moons ago. I'm very happy to hear I'm made your day better.
Daisy617: Doctor Brown is one of my favorite characters to write for, so cutting her off was difficult for me. I'm actually considering bringing her back. But anyway, I'm always happy to hear from you to know your still reading. Even though it's getting a little upsetting.
Valx3: Hey your back! Glad to see you've been caught up. And please I'm not that magnificent, although I don't mind being called that every once in a while. And no way was I going to kill off Lily in chapter 18! What are ya nuts? (Joking) I'm actually thinking of going back in time again to when they were teenagers. What do you think?
JulX27XluvsXHM: Sorry this chapter won't be very happy. But I'm going to be putting up a few more fluffy chapters just because I like writing them. And I'm pretty sure you guys don't mind reading them. Once again to you and everyone else, sorry about the crying. I didn't mean too. I'm happy to know you love reading this story, I love writing it.
Simply Sarah: Wow… fantastic comment. I love Colin Hay's Overkill too! I hope you enjoyed the one I recommended. Don't worry I've already read Wuthering Heights you've spoiled nothing. I actually ran off, after reading your comment, and re-read it. I would have never thought of that connection with the poem. It's fascinating because now I can't stop thinking about it. I also haven't seen any commercials for that TV program you spoke of. Interesting, I'll have to keep a look out for it. I'm also very thankful that you understand why Lily must die. Although I'm toying with other ideas now so who knows. Also I did make these kids a little out of character. Sorry but they don't go around reading Rilke like I do. But a few quirks in here are all the TV producers doing I just added on. I adored your comment and I hope you stop in again after this chapter.
LovesNature: It was a tad bit scary in the last chapter but for me it was so much fun to write. I had a blast while everyone else was crying. By the way I know this is completely off the subject and a little weird but… I love nature too! There, I had to get that out.
……..
(November 20, 2033 Lily/Oliver: 42 and Beatrix: 7)
LILY: There are many things that horrify parents. On the top of the list is waking up and walking into their bedroom to find them gone. My heart leapt out of my chest and I checked in all of Bee's usual places: In the closet, under the bed, behind the door. Little Bee finds it comical to scare her mommy by hiding.
She gets that from Oliver, I'm sure. But today there is no trace of her. I'm becoming very impatient. Oliver is making coffee and trying to get through the crossword puzzle. I'm sitting on the edge of my chair and tapping my foot.
"Please stop. You're making me tense." Oliver groans. I glare at him and he just sighs and pours himself a cup of joe.
I hear someone giggling and I jump up. "Beatrix!?" I shout. She comes out from the pantry naked and laughs. I shake my head and smile along with her.
"Where'd you go?" I ask suddenly very curious. "I saw you and daddy at the park." She says taking a seat.
"Really? When?" This is new, Oliver and I haven't been to the park lately.
"You were little." She tells me still smiling from ear to ear. "I was…" I can't believe it. "You went that far back! But how?" I'm bubbling with questions. Oliver stays quiet and I know something is bothering him. But I'm going to ignore it for the moment.
"I need to tell Doctor Brown that. I mean I can only go through my own timeline but Beatrix can go anywhere." I'm so envious. "Oliver? Babe say something."
He stands and pushes his seat back to the table and walks away. Ok, now I'm pissed. "Excuse us Bumble Bee." I smile at her. She nods and answers with, "You are excused." I give her a grin but as soon as I turn the hallway I frown and go running after Oliver.
"What the hell is your problem?"
Oliver doesn't look back at me his shoulders are hunched down and he begins pacing around our bedroom. "I'm upset because you are so flip floppy!"
"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" I shoot back.
"It means one second you are against having Bee tested with Doctor Brown and the next you want to tell her things about our daughter." He snarls.
"I think she should know! I never ever said anything about Cindy coming near Bee with any kind of drugs or special shots." I yell my temper boiling.
"But it's the same thing! Doctor Brown will want to run tests, give her shots, take blood, and before we know it she'll end up like you!" Oliver's eyes are hard and very dark.
"What do you mean she'll end up like me?"
"Have you looked in the mirror lately Lily?! You're dead! This isn't you!" Oliver says sitting on the bed clearly exhausted.
The worst part is that he's right. I hate losing. I look like a cross between cancer thin and drug addict thin. I have noticed; it's my body for god's sake of course I know what I look like! Of course I see the bags under my eyes! I'm tired, I'm scared, I'm dying.
But Oliver is sensitive, no matter how many times he tires to be Mister Manly Man, he's not. He is a giver and a kind man who loves his family. I sit next to Oliver and put my hand on his shoulder.
"Is it alright if I changed my mind? I'm not saying that Cindy can poke Bee with needles and unauthorized drugs. All I'm saying is that I want to give Bee a safety net. I need to give her this. If we start setting up a file now then when she does turn eighteen Doctor Brown might have already found something for her. Think about it Oliver." I wait; he has his head in his hands and rocking back and fourth. And then, "Fine." He tells me standing up and walking out the door. "Fine."
When I get downstairs Bee is already dressed and flipping through the paper. Oliver is sipping his cold coffee and munching on a bagel. Just a usual morning.
OLIVER: Lily kills me sometimes. She keeps changing her mind about these things- rather important things. It's always after one of her travels that she gets a little lost and changing her way of thinking. I wonder who is in the future telling her all these things. I can't help but wonder if maybe it's me.
Lily is working in the back today. I can hear her music playing and her voice singing along with the ever annoying B52's. I've got front desk duty and it's boring. No one is coming in today. I tap my fingers on the wooden counter and stare out the large bay window at people passing by.
I'm still mad at Lily. I'm not in the mood to go back and see if we can fool around together like usual. I love that woman to death but we fight so much. We've always been stubborn. In school we would constantly be at each other's throats.
Everyday there's always a little tiff we go through. Who gets to pick the music that will play in the shop? Who's going to cook dinner? Who will put Bee to bed or pick her up from school? Again and again.
But make-up sex is how it always ends up. At night I'll rub her back and whisper an apologize. On rare occasions Lily will bow her head and look away from me and mutter a quick sorry and then we attack each other like animals.
I smile now and think of Lily. The way her hair is early in the morning. Her body in the middle of a high climax and the way she moans my name. I shudder at the thought and find myself humming along with the song Love Shack, damn B52's.
I walk briskly around the counter. Maybe Lily will be in a very good mood. As I open the back office door I see her crotched down on the floor. Not good, not good.
"Lily?" I'm frantic again. My insides twist up and become knotted together.
"This hurts like hell!" She gasps before she disappears. Her clothes fall in a pile and I bend down and pick them up. I sit at the wooden desk and turn off the radio. I fold her clothes slowly. I pause at her shirt and bring it to my nose and breathe in deeply.
"Strawberries…"
Later.
"Where's mommy?"
"I don't know."
"When will she be back?"
"I don't know!"
Bee shrikes down in the kitchen chair and her eyes turn to ice. She is angry with me and as soon as the harsh words flew out of my mouth I instantly recreated them.
"Well fine! Be that way!" Beatrix yells back at me and stomps off. Just like Lily. I sigh loudly and try not to think. My head is already pounding. I need her to be here. I need her warmth. I need her love.
(October 23, 2034 Lily: 42/ Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)
LILY: I hate disappearing as I'm listening to a great song. I even thought I heard Oliver walking in to apologize to me. That would have been nice because I was in the mood to push Oliver down on that table and straddle him.
But, instead I'm lying in Miley's living room. And James is staring at me with his mouth wide open. Yikes.
"Shut it James." I hear Rose sigh from behind me. She throws a blanket over me and I nod in thank-you.
"Where's your mom and dad?"
"Mom is in the kitchen and dad is at work." Rose informs me sitting down next to James who is staring intently at the TV. "Hey has anyone seen my coloring pencils?" Robert yells from the stairs.
"No!" James and Rose shout together. I get up and walk into the kitchen. Miley is stirring a cup of tea. "Hey." I wave at her.
"Oh hi Lily, you here to pick up Bee?" Miley says taking a long sip of her tea.
"Oh she's here!" I ask excitedly looking around. "Oh, you're traveling." Miley laughs. "Yes Bee is here she's upstairs drawing with Robert."
I smirk and take a seat. Miley grabs me a cup and pours me some of her herbal tea. It feels good running nice and hot down my throat. "How are things?" I ask leaning in my chair tying the blanket around me.
"Good. It's a little stressful you know with the new company. But being a music producer isn't all that bad and Jake just had a movie come out. So he's in a good mood."
I mull it over and turn my silver spoon around and around in the small red cup. I watch the brown water twist downward in a small spiral. "How am I?"
Miley seems a little uncomfortable with the question. "You are very distant. And you seem tense. It's so hard Lily. No one knows what's wrong, you won't tell us."
I nod and fold my hands in my lap carefully. "Would you really want to know Miley?" she shakes her head. "No, I wouldn't. But I'm scared for you."
"Don't be." I say waving her fear away. "Please just live your life Miley. I've already screwed up Oliver enough. How is he, by the way?"
Miley shrugs. "I wouldn't know he hardly talks to me. He's been spending every second with you. It's like he… knows." My fists curl up and I shake my head I look down then right at Miley. I stare into her worried and ever caring eyes.
"Miley?"
"Yes?"
"I love you." After I make this statement she seems a little thrown off but happy. "I love you too, Lily." She smiles. And as her lips curl up and her white teeth show I know that she will be fine. I hear Beatrix running down the stairs laughing with Robert.
"Mom!" She squeals running to me. "Where are you from?"
"November 20, 2033." I answer quickly to her and she nods. "So what are you and Robert up to?" She smiles widely and Robert blushes. "We are making a novel." She answers.
"Wonderful! Make a million I want to read them all!" I exclaim and kiss her cheek. I hug her and watch her run off with Rob.
"Those two and inseparable." Miley smiles. "Robert really enjoys Beatrix's company. It's nice to seem him break out of his shell every once in a while. I really don't know where he inherited the shyness."
I just keep smirking. "What?" Miley asks noticing me. I shrug. "You want to know?" I know after I say this she understands that it is a future type question and answer. She bites her lip. "Is it good?"
"Very." I reassure her. Miley nods. "Tell all oh wise women."
"Robert and Beatrix."
"Yeah…?" Miley answers not understanding.
"How do you feel about that?" I say and I can't help but let out a large grin as Miley bounces in her seat. "Oh yes!" She cheers. "Yes!"
The phone rings and Miley leans over in her seat and grabs the white phone sitting next to us. "Hello?" She says happily. "What? Oliver! Oliver slow down! She what?" Miley hangs up the phone and frowns at me sadly.
"What have I done now?" I sigh.
"I really and honest don't know Oliver jut told me to get to the hospital as fast as I can. Lily you come too!" Miley runs to the living and shouts, "James you're in charge! Rose take care of Robert and Bee! You guys know the drill!"
I see Bee running to me and I hug her closely. "No worries darling. I'll see you soon." I tell her softly before sprinting after Miley.
She is driving when it hits me. I don't want to know. "Miley drive faster!" I shout.
"What? Lily I have to go the speed limit."
"Miley I don't want to know what happens to me. Please I have this thing about cars and it is a guarantee that I will vanish now drive faster!"
Miley presses down harder on the gas and I look over. She's going 50 on a 40 miles per hour street. I look out the window at the trees flying by. All colors mix together and soon I'm becoming dizzy. I reach out for nothing as I feel my stomach curl up. My head pounds and I scream. And then I'm gone.
(November 20, 2033 Lily/Oliver: 42 and Beatrix: 7)
OLIVER: I'm lying in bed at two in the morning when I hear her creep into the bedroom. "Lily?" My voice is hollow and lonely.
"Oliver." She breathes and crawls in next to me. I run my hand down her back and pull her to me. I kiss her mouth fully and desperately. She returns my want with her own desire. She pulls me on top of her and I crash our bodies together. We are kissing and she lifts up my shirt.
I run my hands down her sides and unbutton her jeans. Her fingers are icy but they feel heavenly mixed with the warm blankets. I smell her hair and kiss her eyelashes. I hear tears pour from her eyes and I kiss each one away. "No sadness here. No bitter thoughts of ending wars. Just stay here and let us share our love." I whisper to her.
"What was that?" She asks.
"Just something I made up." I chuckle and she giggles. I lean into her and she digs her nails in my back.
"An Oliver Oken originally." She exhales as I pull out. We make love quietly long into the early morning and I let myself become lost as she moans my name softly in my ear.
….
Author's Note: Holy crap that took forever to write! I really had no idea how to set things up for what is to come. I have a new idea and I'm sticking with it. I know now how I will end this. But hopefully that won't come till much later. Leave your thoughts. I'll try and update as soon as possible. But right now I'm going to take a nap, I'm beat.