Author's Note: sighs loudly and rubs temples Every time I read a comment by CraftyNotePad or Simply Sarah I suddenly have a change of mind. You guys are seriously killing me! I love your comments (as I do everyone else's) but I mean really, cut me some slack. I feel like I'm playing tug of war. Also you guys don't know what is to come. I have (fairly reasonable) explanations. And of course another traumatic event.
CraftyNotePad: AHHH!!!... Ok I adore all of your comments and you've been such a dear. But I would never ever end with Lily's death. Please you insult my writing abilities. Also, stop being so damn smart! Ok, I lied never stop being an intelligent individual but still it's like I can never get away with anything without you noticing. Which I love and hate (but love a little bit more.) Anyway, I always get a little giddy when I see you've made another intriguing observation. P.S: Still enjoying everything you say.
Simply Sarah: I love Kurt Vonnegut! I have (almost) all of his books. So when I saw that quote I just burst out laughing because I've heard it many times before from a friend of mine. Also I adore Rachael Yamagata. And I have heard that song many of times. I write to music and I usually have one of her songs playing in the background. Don't worry, Lily will get her spark back, sooner or later. And thank-you for pointing out a few mistakes of mine. To be honest I'm a little embarrassed I should have double checked everything.
…….
(November 22, 2033 Lily/Oliver: 42 and Beatrix: 7)
LILY: I'm bobbing my head to my music. I've got my headphones on and I'm sweeping the hardwood floor in the dinning room. Bee is at a play date for the afternoon and Miley should be coming over soon.
She's decided that we need more girl time, I agreed because Oliver's been busy with work so I can't have any fun with him.
I'm in a pretty good mood considering everything else. I take my headphones off and run a hand over my sweaty forehead. I'm leisurely making my way around the house. I stop by the bookshelf.
My CD's are all stacked according to the genera. I skim over a few covers till I find Komeda. I take the disk out and place it in the stereo. I flip to my favorite song: It's Alright Baby. As the song begins I flout into the kitchen with a small smile and begin making myself some lunch.
I'm munching on some potato chips and looking outside when I see her. It's a so fast that I have to look back and blink a few times to understand what I'm seeing. Bee skits across the grass and lands right on her face.
I jump up leaving my food behind and open the back glass door. "Beatrix!" I shout waving at her. I take off my sweatshirt and throw it to her. I straighten out my small pink shirt underneath. It's a little wrinkled but no- "Oomph." I say as she flings her long arms around me crying?
"Mom! Mom! Mom!" She's sobbing and kissing my cheeks and forehead. "Oh God!" She cries. I pull away and look at her tear stained face.
"Bee? Bee what's wrong?" I'm worried. What the hell is going?
"I couldn't stop it. I c-couldn't bring you back." She grimaces and looks away from me. Beatrix lets go of me and collapses on the ground. She wipes her nose and hangs her head. I carefully sit next to her and sigh. "How old are you?"
"Seventeen." She whispers. I run my fingers through her mangled hair and notice the blood on her hands and under her fingernails. She lifts her head and looks at me with a sudden jolt. "Where is Doctor Brown?"
"At her office I suppose." I say rubbing the tears from her cheeks. "We should go there! Right now let's go!" She jumps up and grabs me by the arm. I grunt as she pulls me up, a little too fast.
"I need to talk to her!" Bee is frantic and has a mad look about her blue eyes. "I can reason with her! Give her information or, or something!"
"Bee stop!" I yell. I'm getting very frustrated.
"No! I won't I just saw you die… do you have any idea how horrible that was? My heart aches. I can't breathe. Mom, please, just please help me."
I'm about to try by best and comfort her when the question stirs inside of me. "Wait a minute. How could you have seen me die? Beatrix I die alone in an alleyway. You aren't there."
Bee looks at me strangely. "You die at home from the drugs Doctor Brown prescribed for you." I shake my head. "No, Cindy has already told me that there was no hope. She's cut me off."
"Wait so that means…" Bee stops and closes her eyes shut and begins muttering things under her breath. "Oh we need to see Doctor Brown right now!" She grabs me and we race to the door. "Stop!" I say. "You really need to put some pants on."
Beatrix looks down and blushes, she runs up the stairs and in a blink of an eye she is running back down with a pair of my jeans on. We catch a bus and run the rest of the way. Beatrix bangs on Cindy's office door.
Cindy opens with a surprised face. "Oh Lily! I'm glad you're here I have something to show you." We are ushered inside.
Doctor Brown fumbles through her bags and pulls out a small orange bottle. "No!" Bee shrieks slapping the bottle out of Cindy's hand. "That is the drug! The drug that kills you!" Beatrix informs me and Cindy.
"God! Let me guess your daughter?" Cindy frowns staring at me while holding her hand. I smile slightly and put an arm around my little girl. Beatrix is still crying I stop smiling and make her sit down.
"Tell me exactly what happens." I tell Bee staring at her ready and listening intently as she begins.
"The drug that Cindy was about to give you makes you better, at first. You stop traveling for a little while and everyone starts to think it's all over but then you have a really bad travel. It's like this weight that just crushes you. Dad and I find you lying on the living room floor bleeding and you just…" Bee puts her head in her hands.
I rub her back and whisper comforting words in her hair. Cindy is staring at us. "Ok kids time to tell me what the hell is going on!"
Bee breathes in and pulls herself together. I sit back in my seat and think. I try to comb through my thoughts.
"Wait Bee! How old were you? When you and Oliver find me?"
"I was traveling the me in that time was eight." She answers while taking a tissue that Cindy offered her. I stand up. "Paper, I need paper!" I shout frantically grabbing a pen from Cindy's desk.
Bee takes a piece from Cindy and hands it to me. I jot down a few dates. I was convinced I died on October 27, 1995. "Bee what was the date?" I say quickly drawing a long straight line across the paper.
Beatrix squints, deep in thought. "December 3, 2034." She replies after a moment. I write the two dates down and circle them and smile happily. "Do you know what this means!" I jump.
Cindy looks positively lost and Beatrix is giving me an odd look that clearly states:
Are you crazy? "There's a time loop! This means, there are alternate universes out there! If there are two different ways I die there has to be a place where I survive!" I'm bubbling, I'm ecstatic.
"Is that even possible?" Bee asks. I frown at her. "Please you can time travel anything's possible. Clap if you believe in fairies!" I end sarcastically.
Cindy sits down and looks absolutely over whelmed. "You're implying that we just might be able to save you." She is smiling slightly.
"We need to question everyone. I need to know how old they have seen me. Dates, the whole nine yards. I'm not dying without a fight!"
Bee is looking relived and then poof. I just hope she is returning to a different time where her mother is alive and well.
OLIVER: Is it too late to create a medicine that makes you young again? You'd think with all that damn technology today we could do something as simply as that. I pull out my house key and sigh. Work sucked today. Lily and I haven't been talking like we use to.
Every time I try to make her talk to me she backs away like a scared deer. She hardly ever used to tell me about her travels and now she keeps them top secret. I know something bad is coming. I can feel it like a dark cloud looming over us. I just wish she would tell me so I don't have to assume.
"Oliver!"
That's strange. Lily looks happy. She comes running over to me and plants one right on me. I kiss back just because I've missed those lips and then she pulls back still smiling.
"Good day?" I ask a little nervous that at any second she could change.
"Very good."
I'm just burning with questions. What brought on this change? "Lily, may I ask what's happened?"
She takes my hand and glides into the kitchen where there is a large piece of paper spread across it. There are dates written every where and two are circled. I look at her and she just keeps grinning.
"This is my timeline." She smiles. "Every time I've traveled is right here even soon to be travels are here."
"So what's with the circled ones?" I ask taking a seat and sipping her water that sat on the edge of the table.
"Oh that, that's when I die."
I spit the water out on the floor. "What the hell?!" Lily just keeps scribbling things down and smiling like nothings wrong. "Lily…" Oh god she's finally cracked. My wife has gone insane.
"Oliver, I think I might have come up with a way to stop all of this. I think I found a way to stay. "
I'm speechless I reach for her hand across the table and squeeze it. I can't control the smile that makes its way around my lips. "Ok what do we do?"
"Well I've already called people with the help of Cindy and the oldest everyone has seen me is 43 and nothing passed October."
"So that means…"
"Either we fix this or…." Lily trails off. "Let's stay positive. Come on we're going down to the police station."
I grab both of our coats and the keys, Lily can explain once we're in the car. After I put the car in drive and we speed off Lily begins. "I need to check old police reports on the unsolved files. I've already called your mom and she told the guys down at the station that we're coming."
The car ride is mostly silent. I try to concentrate on the road but I'm too excited. True, I have no idea what we're doing but Lily is smiling. I park the car and Lily waits for me by the glass doors we walk in together.
"Lily Oken?" A tall skinny man with a mustache asks her. "Indeed." Lily smirks. We follow the man down a few hallways. It's very cold and Lily stays close to me as we walk down a small flight of stairs to the basement. I put my arm around her as she shivers.
"Sergeant Oken didn't tell me exactly what you are looking for so I set up all the unsolved files from the eighties and nineties."
"Thank-you Victor." Lily says politely. Victor leaves us in the dim basement and Lily quickly pulls out her sheet of paper. She pushes all the boxes dated from the eighties aside. "Can I help?" I ask her slowly.
"Sure! Try and find the box that has the files for 1995 in them." Lily tells me pulling out records and checking old newspapers. I dive in. It's a little funny because a few of these documents have my mother's handwriting on them.
I pull the lid off of a brown box and pull out a cream colored folder. Inside there are a few murder cases. I put it down the date is 1993, but I'm close. I bring another large box over to the table. I open it and pull out a few folders. This is it!
"Lily!" I shout waving her over. "I found the files for 1995 cases!" She is at my side quickly and picks up the folder dated 1995 October. She flips through it and bites her lip. I wait, holding my breath.
"It's not here!" She smiles. "It's not here!" Quickly Lily flips open her phone and calls someone. "Hello, Mrs. Oken? Yes it's Lily. Yes, everything was to our satisfaction but I had a question… No, no not that but did you ever have an unsolved case about a disappearing woman? Yes? No! No! Perfect… I understand no, you're no supposed to get it… No, I'm not crazy…Bye."
She hangs up and beams at me. I'm standing now and waiting but my patients are wavering. "I came here two years ago. And there was a large file about a woman who was killed on October 27, 1995 and suddenly disappeared before she could be identified. You're mother was the one who wrote up the file and it's not here anymore and your mother has no idea what I'm talking about!"
I'm completely lost. "Lily I really don't understand where you are going with this."
"Oliver! The woman was me! And now the file is gone! Which means it never happened it won't ever happen! And the drugs that seventeen year old Bee was talking about I won't ever take them! I won't die!"
The information begins to process slowly but I'm not convinced. Did we really beat it? Was it really that simple? "Lily… is it I mean it's over?"
She shrugs. "I don't know all I know is that I'm no going anywhere anytime soon." And suddenly I don't care because Lily, my Lily from years ago is standing before me. She is laughing and her pale face lights up with a brilliant glow.
(December 14, 2033 Lily/Oliver: 42 and Beatrix: 7)
LILY: Oliver and I are doing so well. We are laughing again and acting so silly. We took Bee to the park yesterday afternoon. She enjoyed the swings and I helped her pump her legs back and fourth.
The construction for the upstairs on the music shop should be coming to a close soon. Oliver and I are already fighting over which color to paint it. I'm dead set on an ocean blue but Oliver wants a pastel red.
Currently outside rain is pouring hard and fast. Oliver is out picking up Bee from school and I just finished going over the balance book for the shop. We are in great shape. I'm very proud of Ollie. As I close the folder I hear the front door burst open.
"Lily!" His voice is scared. My eyes widen and my body begins to twist up in itself. "What? What is it?!" I shout. "Where's Bee? Where is she?!"
Oliver hangs his head and let's the rain from his hair and jacket drop on the floor making small puddles. "She's gone…"
Gone where? Gone where?! My baby oh my baby! There is always a short panic attack when I know she's left. Questions spew from the depths of my mind. Is she hurt? Scared? Lonely? Part of me always hopes and prays she is with Oliver in some time or maybe even me.
I pace around the house. Oliver looks at the floor and does not speak. I glance at him and he is just as worried as me. I cannot do this alone. I cannot shut him out. I grab his hand; he is surprised at first but then embraces me.
He is wet and smells of mud but as I stand on my tip toes I can detect the faintest scent of his soap on his skin. We pull away and Oliver sniffs it's not till this very moment that I realize he is cold as ice and is shaking. I shed his flimsy jacket and find the wool blanket on the couch and wrap it around him.
He sits on the couch and sneezes. I begin making hot chocolate. I'm happy to have something to do, something to keep my hands and mind busy. As I'm filling the mugs with water I look outside and a small girl is in the grass crying, she's naked.
"Oliver!" I shout, he snaps his head up, scared, at the sudden sound. I rush outside not giving a damn about shoes or a jacket. I run to Bee.
She is sitting on the front lawn whimpering and looking lost. "Beatrix!" I shout. I get to her and wrap my whole body around her. I want to cover her from the rain and every terrible thing out in the world.
"M-My cheek h-hurts." She sobs in my side. I pull away, but still holding her tightly by the shoulders. I see a dark bruise forming on her left cheek and I cringe. Oliver runs out and stands next to me.
He is holding an umbrella over us. I pick Bee up and carry her inside. Oliver puts his free arm around my waist. Once inside, I lay my little girl on the couch and Oliver wraps her up in his blanket. "I'll get her some clothes." He says quietly.
I sit down and curl up with her. "Do you want to talk about it?" I ask softly as I stroke her damp curls. She shakes her head and burrows deeper into my side. "Ok then… we don't have to talk at all… just rest."
After I make sure she is asleep I slowly pry myself from her tight grasp and walk into the kitchen to find Oliver sitting and staring outside at the evening sky and falling rain. "A penny for your thoughts?"
Oliver shrugs and looks up at me. I run my hand over his over his chin and across the tiny scare on his cheek. He needs to shave. But for an odd reason I like his small beard.
"I need to shave." He says letting me sit in his lap.
"Don't, I kind of like it. It gives you a very wise literature professor look. Besides I think that's what's in these days."
"Oh well if it's 'in'." Oliver chuckles quietly. I love his laugh. I kiss him and he slowly circles his arms around me. I feel someone tap me gently on the shoulder. I stop kissing Oliver and look down to find Bee standing in her night gown looking upset.
"Can I talk about it now?"
I get up off Oliver's lap and usher Beatrix to a seat between me and Oliver. She folds her hands in her lap. I wait willing and preparing myself. Oliver pulls her to him and she snuggles into his chest.
"I'm not sure where I was." She starts. "Once second I was waiting for daddy and the next I was laying on concert and I hit my cheek hard." She says rubbing the bruise. I take her hand and give it a soft squeeze.
"Can I ask you something baby?" She nods at me and sniffs loudly, rubbing her nose on the sleeve of her night gown. "I thought you could choose where you wanted to go."
Bee looks at her feet. "Not always, this time it came so fast I couldn't even think of a place… mommy it was so scary."
I feel my chest tighten. "I know Bee I know." She leans forward and I hug her closely. "But we'll get through it together, okay?" I feel her nod against my shoulder. I look up at Oliver and he has the same fear running wild through his eyes as me.
(December 16, 2033 Oliver/Lily: 42 and Beatrix: 7)
LILY: I'm cutting up carrots for the salad that Oliver was supposed to be making for dinner. But today, while hunting and pecking through the bookstore he found a copy of Wuthering Heights.
Now of course we already own a copy but it's mine. And it has all of my favorite lines marked and underlined not to mention notes written along side the pages. Oliver hates it when I do that. He has told me time and time again that books should be treasured and not written in.
I agree to disagree. So Oliver has spent a good two hours locked in his study reading. I've tried my best not to disturb him. But I need music while I cook. So my Charlie Parker, Greatest Hits, CD is quietly humming in the background.
The only problem now is I have lines from the novel running through my head. I stop cutting and look out the window at the drizzling rain and recite absentminded: "And I pray one prayer--I repeat it till my tongue stiffens--Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living! You said I killed you--haunt me, then!...Be with me always--take any form--drive me mad! Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!"
"Ah you are well versed young grasshopper." I hear Oliver say from behind me and if I know him well enough he is smirking.
"Now let me try." He says wrapping his arms around my waist. "He wanted all to lie in an ecstasy of peace; I wanted all to sparkle and dance in a glorious jubilee. I said his heaven would be only half alive; and he said mine would be drunk: I said I should fall asleep in his; and he said he could not breathe in mine..."
I laugh and roll my head back. "You finish it?"
"Yes and now I'm dreadfully depressed." Oliver pouts pulling away from me and leaning against the counter. "Poor baby." I tease walking closer to him. I stand up on my tip toes and kiss him. He slouches down so I can stand normally.
He is kissing me differently today. His hand rides up the back of my shirt and I can tell he is simply itching to get it off but Bee could walk in at any moment. I hear the oven beep, the roast beef is finished. But neither of us moves.
I tug at his shirt collar and pull back. I need to stop or I'll end up throwing him on the kitchen table and taking advantage of this rare minute alone. I ruffle his hair and walk around to take out the roast beef.
I hear Oliver chuckle, I can hear him twisting up the newspaper and as I'm bending over to take out the beef I feel a slap on my behind. I snap up and find Oliver holding the rolled up paper in his hands and trying his best not to laugh.
"Oliver Oken you pervert!" I shout but smiling.
"Well what can I say, you're a very cute girl Lily." He smiles showing off his white teeth. I sigh and walk over and pinch his cheek. "Later tonight you'll defiantly pay for that."
"Counting on it." He says while setting the table. Everything is going smoothly. I'm beginning to feel perfectly relaxed…
"Mommy!"
I feel as though someone has just punched me in the gut. Her screams are ear piercing. I run to Bee's room. She is sitting on her bed looking terrified. "Mommy! Stop it! Stop it!"
"Stop what? I don't understand Bee!" I rush to her frantically.
"I don't want to leave! Mommy I don't want to go!" She cries. I grab her and hold her against me.
"You won't! Stay with me Bee. Think about something else think about the park we went to last week!"
Oliver is running up the stairs I hear his feet. I see him just as Bee vanishes and I'm holding nothing but air. I can't help it, I start to cry. It's not far how fast Beatrix's time travels are going. I never experienced anything as horrible as she did till I was fourteen! Oliver sits on the edge of the bed and rubs my back. I hate myself for giving this to her. I hate myself…
(July 7, 2047 Lily: 14 and Oliver: 56)
LILY: I was brushing my teeth when it happened this time. I was getting ready to meet Oliver and Miley and I was excited and nervous. And then I disappeared. I taste blood. The cement is very hot on my skin and it burns.
I get up and realize that the blood is my own. I wipe it from my mouth and hold onto my jaw it hurts so badly. My eyes try and adjust to the bright sun. I'm in the middle of the street. There are cars beeping and people staring.
I feel very self conscious and try my best to cover up. My cheeks burn with embarrassment and I run off. I don't notice until I taste it that I'm crying. Hot salty tears pour down from my eyes onto my cheeks and to my chapped lips. Tears and blood mix together and I spit it out on the cement.
It tastes like metal.
It tastes like iron.
I try to recognize my surroundings but things are so different. I'm in the future of that I'm sure of. I'm completely lost. I can't find clothes. And people are still staring. I can't get away. I find an alley and run behind a trashcan and lean against the cool brick wall.
My heart is beating so hard I'm sure it might just burst from my chest at any moment. I try to calm myself down. My feet are dirty and I feel disgusting. My armpits are wet with sweat and I want clothes.
This is the first time this has happened. I'm all alone. No one is here to help me. I'm alone, alone… I feel my face scrunch up as I cry a little harder. I hear the distant sounds of a busy street; cars zooming by and people walking, walking every which way. So many different people yet none of them are the ones I want and need.
I pull my legs to my chest and place my head gently on my knees. Time take me back! Time let me go! I try to calm myself down. I need to get clothes and find somewhere to stay. It looks like I'm not leaving any time soon.
There is a worn out green door on the wall opposite of me. I quickly stand and walk forward. Maybe there will be something. I hold out my hand and cup the doorknob and pray. Please be open. I twist the knob and it stops, locked.
I pull back and look back at the trashcan. I reach over the top and find a few newspapers. I try to fold one of them around me, hopeless. I throw it on the ground. The green door begins to open I freeze. A husky old man walks out and stretches. He scratches his neck and grumbles.
I stand very still. I try not to breathe, blink, or think. I' am a statue, apart of the alleyway scenery.
"Eh you? Girly what are you doing?"
Shit! Double shit!
"Hello I'm talking to you…. Why are you naked? What is this some kind of dare someone put you up to?"
My mouth won't open. I'm scared. I'm scared and I want to go home. I close my eyes. I'm Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. I have on my ruby slippers. Click you're heels three times. Home. Home. Home.
"Listen kid, you need to get the hell off my property or I'm calling the cops!"
"Can I have something to wear?" I squeak. The old man looks at me strangely. I don't like the way his eyes trail up and down my body. I feel sick.
"Sure girly come inside and I'll get you something."
I shake my head. "I'll wait here." He frowns and walks back inside. I wait for a moment still covering myself as best as I can. When he comes back out I hold my hand out expecting him to just throw the jacket to me. But instead he walks over to me and smiles a yellow tooth grin.
He stops right in front of me. "Come and get it." He sneers. I shiver. Against my better judgment I reach for the jacket. My hands look so little and frail compared to his rough sunburned hands.
"Please…" I whimper. He sighs and tosses it to me. I catch it and quick as lightening I'm wrapped in it. He looks at me again and shrugs and then walks off. I let out a heavy sigh of relief.
It's nightfall and I'm getting nervous. I'm still in the dirty alley. I've been too frightened to go out and search for some where to stay. The jacket is nice when cool air hits me. I sit alone and wait. I hate waiting. I hate-
(July 7, 2005 Lily and Oliver: 14)
OLIVER: I wonder where Lily is. Miley and I didn't see her and she didn't show up for the movie. I tried calling her house but no one answered. And when I went over to her house her parents simply said she was out for the day. What dose that mean?
I'm getting worried. This has been happening a lot lately and Lily won't tell me anything. She usually blows it off with a laugh and says she's been at the skate park or had a dentist appointment. Well I'm not buying that! She's my best friend! She should trust me enough to let me in.
I walk out of my room to brush my teeth and get ready for bed. As I'm pulling my shirt over my head I hear someone. I run back to my room and Lily is sitting on my floor wearing one of my T-shirts… crying…
Panic rushes through my veins. I have never seen Lily cry before! I close the door and she looks up at me with her pretty blue eyes and shudders.
"Lily?" I question.
"Oliver, please can you just… just hold me?"
Her voice is below a whisper and my heat goes out to her. I walk over and get down on the floor next to her and awkwardly put my arms around her. She leans into my chest and I feel something that I've never felt around Lily. Compassion and… love? I don't know this is all so new.
She curls up close to me and my hold on her tightens. What happened today? All I know is that I'll kill the person who did this to her. I'll protect her and be around for her. I've been stupid in the past but I'm done now. Lily needs me.
…..
Author's Note: This chapter truly ran away with itself. To everyone else who I did not leave a personal comment to I'm very sorry. Next chapter I will stop and say hello to each of you. Until then I hope the read was fairly enjoyable and leave your thoughts if you'd like…