You Won't Succeed In Opera ( to the tune of " You Won't Succeed On Broadway" from " Monty Python's Spamalot")
Sung by Erik:
Andre, Firmin, I cannot say it enough, but you just won't succeed in opera…
You may have some pretty dances
Chorus girls put in pants-ses
And Willy Wonka wearing a fedora that is red
You may have the finest stagehands
Have the best orchestras and bands
But you won't succeed in opera if Joseph Buquet isn't dead!
You may have a famous diva
Host a concert for Aretha
And have the prettiest sets to see
You may have dramatic lines
Guys swinging from fake vines
But you won't succeed in opera if you don't cast Christine!
You may have some pretty music
A male dancer who's a eunuch
You may have a spectacular backdrop
You may have pretty arias
Drive expensive red Ferrari-as
But you won't succeed in opera if you don't get rid of the fop!
You may have costumes
Actresses wearing perfume
And a Spanish/Italian diva starting to sing
You may have a fat alto
Whose name is Ubaldo
But you won't succeed in opera if you do not cast Christine!