Hello, fellow fan fiction addicts! Here is a much procrastinated update!
Miss Daae ( to the tune of "Keep It Gay" from "The Producers")
Sung by Erik and Raoul:
Andre and Firmin:
Did you get a chance yet to hear Carlotta sing?
Erik:
Hear her? I wen tdeaf because of her!
Raoul:
And I find her annoying! ANNOYING!
Erik:
Then you'll fire her...
Andre and Firmin:
OF COURSE NOT! She's what the public loves!
Raoul:
Carlotta? Excuse me? Ooh...to squeaky, too high pitched...
The opera's so obsessed
with Erik so depressed...
Erik:
HEY!
Raoul:
It's amazing you still have a full house
Erik:
The lead soprano should be more pretty
with a voice that is not shitty
Raoul:
She should be more...What's her name?
Erik:
Christine
Raoul:
That's right!
Erik:
No matter what opera you do,
cast Miss Daae. Miss Daae, Miss Daae
Whether it's Don Juan, Il Muto , or Faust
Let her sing, do her thing
Miss Daae
Raoul:
People want Christine when they see a show
the last thing they want is Carlotta as the countess in Il Muto
Both:
A Swedish brunette will make your day!
Erik:
Hannibal won't bomb
Raoul:
and neither will Don Juan!
Both:
Miss Daae!
Miss Daae!
Miss Daae!
Raoul:
I couldn't agree more with you on your opinions of Christine. And you have my blessing to stalk her as much as you want...so...will you do it?
Erik:
Of course I will, even though you're not really my cup of tea. Still, fair is fair, perhaps I should ask some of the phantom cast members what they think...
Raoul:
Phantom cast members? Who are they?
Erik:
You'll see, they all sing here. GUYS! GET THE HELL OVER HERE BEFORE I PUNJAB YOU!
This is a ballet dancer...MEG!
Meg:
What a play!
A grade "A"
Miss Daae!
Erik:
This is my Persian friend, NADIR!
Nadir:
Hello! Cast Christine
She's the song Queen!
Miss Daae!
Meg and Nadir:
We're really quite sure she is the right choice?
How could you not cast her with that gorgeous voice?
Erik:
MADAME GIRY! The ballet mistress!
Madame Giry:
HI THERE!
(dances)
Erik:
And finally, last, and least, a guy I murdered, JOSEPH BUQUET!
Joe:
MISS DAAE!
MISS DAAE!
MISS DAAE!
Erik:
Now you all just heard Carlotta sing. What did you guys think of her?
Madame Giry:
She needs lessons
Meg:
and song
Nadir:
This song is
Joseph Buquet:
TOO LONG!
Raoul:
Ladies and Gentlemen, I think this would be a marvelous opportunity for the opera populaire.
So come on...cast her, please?
Andre:
I'm sorry, monseurs. She's just a chorus girl!
Erik:
Think of the respect!
Firmin:
No.
Raoul:
Think of the prestige!
Andre and Firmin:
NO!
Erik and Raoul:
Think of...THE MONEY!
Andre and Firmin:
MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY!
Raoul:
AT LAST! A soprano people will actually want to listen to!
Erik:
Raoul de Chagny presents Christine Daae!
Of course signora whats-her-name will hafta be cast as the page boy!
Her as the countess excuse me?
That would be absolutely ghastly!
Raoul:
Monseur O.G. Presents Chrsitine Daae!
Erik:
Wait a minute...ooohhh...it's a wild idea but it just might work!
I...see...a...
line of ballet dancers,
DRESSED AS FLOWERS!
And dancing with a sheep!
With white tutus and
moss green corsets
its risque
dare I say!
Raoul:
HES GONE MAD!
Erik:
She's the greatest singer in all of France!
And she'll be backed by men in girly-colored pants!
AND WAIT THERES MORE!
PIANGI IS NO MORE!
I just knew she had to be the ingenue!
LALALALALALALALALALA!
SHE IS GREAT!
MISS DAAE!
MISS...
Raoul:
YOU ARE CORRECT! CORRECT!
I think I speak for everyone at the opera populaire,
when I say that you are absolutely right in your opinions of Miss Daae!
So will you write any more notes?
Erik:
WAIT! This is a very big decision! It may affect the very plot of this entire musical! I shall hafta think about it!...NO! ILL STILL WRITE NOTES!
Opera Populaire cast and crew:
If you do not wish to be punjabbed...
Cast
Miss Daae!
Miss Daae!
Miss Daae!
Whether is Don Juan, Carmen or Faust,
For your play,
don't delay,
Miss Daae!
Raoul:
Christine's voice is a constant delight!
Carlotta's annoys us, and starts up fights!
All:
So if you want to live to see another day...
(Reading note)
Raoul:
Signed...
Andre:
Singed...
Firmin:
Siigned...
Girys, Nadir, and Buquet:
Singed...
Erik:
SIGNED!
Your obedient servant O.G.!
All:
MISS DAAE!
Raoul:
MASQUERADE!
All:
Lalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalalalalalalala
so if you want to keep
Monseur O.G. At bay
MISS DAAE!
MISS DAAE!
MISS DAAE!