Disclaimer: The characters are the property of the amazingly talented J.K Rowling! I'm only borrowing the characters and world that she has so brilliantly created.
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Beta by: ilovethedotgame
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Chapter Six: Living on the Edge
"The time has come," Sirius announced as he stepped into the boy's dormitory, "to execute plan BPBLE, otherwise known as "Become Perfect Bloke for Lily Evans."
James looked up from his Charms notes, his stomach clenching at Sirius's words. "So, what's the plan then?" he asked Sirius, feigning interest.
"Here's the general idea so far. While on rounds with her, you ask her some general questions, find out about her likes, dislikes, that sort of stuff. Then, the next day, I engage her in conversation based around what you tell me."
James opened his mouth to reply, but Remus beat him to it.
"Are you completely mad?"
"Excuse me?" Sirius asked, shocked at Remus's outburst.
"First of all, do you honestly think that Lily will be stupid enough to not realize what you're doing, dragging James into this whole thing?"
"Well, I –"
"And secondly, if you like Lily so much why don't you talk to her yourself? You've never had a problem talking to girls before. Why should Lily bother you?"
Sirius scowled and threw his Defense book and notes on his bed. "Because I'm getting the impression that she's a tad cross with me."
"And why is that, I wonder?!" Remus replied sarcastically. "You should have gotten to know her better before you kissed her in the middle of the hallway."
Sirius narrowed his eyes and swept his hair out of his face with the back of his hand. "Yeah, well, it works on most girls."
Remus emitted a strangled sound and brought his hands up to cover his eyes. Bringing his hands down, Remus grabbed his books and hastily left the dorm, making excessive amounts of noise on the stairs.
"What's with him?" Sirius asked a few seconds after Remus had disappeared.
James jerked his head towards the calendar. There was a thin red line under the date of a day only a few days away. The full moon.
"Ah," Sirius drew the word out and nodded. "He always gets rather touchy this time of the month."
James pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose. "He's got a point though, Sirius. You need to talk to Lily yourself."
Merlin, it was painful to say those words, James thought. Lily and Sirius…that sounded downright awful. Now Lily and James - that sounded just perfect….
"But you're my best mate! You can help me out, can't you?" Sirius insisted.
"Sirius –" James began wearily, but Sirius cut him off.
"You two are Head students together! You get to spend some quality time with her! Surely you can just find out a couple of things for me?"
Sirius made it sound so easy, as though he could ask without any emotional involvement whatsoever. On the other hand, to refuse would look suspicious, and James couldn't risk that.
Closing his eyes briefly, he nodded once. "What do you want to know?"
L … J
"Are you planning on going to Hogsmeade next weekend?" James asked Lily as they were patrolling the halls one night.
"I was thinking I'd stay here this time," Lily responded vaguely with a shrug.
"But you love Hogsmeade!" James exclaimed, surprised at her answer. He had expected his question to be a rhetorical one. Lily had never missed a Hogsmeade visit. She seemed to love everything about the village from the quaint shops to the narrow, winding streets.
Lily sighed. "I know, but it's not as though it's going anywhere, is it? Besides, I've been there loads of times."
"Yeah, but what about your friends? Things won't always be the same, you know. With that nutter Voldemort running about, who knows what could happen? And people change, move away, grow apart, normal life stuff. Who knows when we'll all be together after this year?"
"I know that," Lily responded quietly as they turned a corner, "but…"
"But what?" James prompted. "I'm sure you're doing absolutely brilliant in all of your classes, so what could be more important than spending time with friends while you can?"
Lily bit her lip and looked away.
"Come on, what is it?" James questioned gently. "I'm your friend, you can tell me." When he received no answer, he decided to change tactics.
"Let me think," James pondered in mock seriousness. "You have a secret date you don't want anyone to know about. He's in Ravenclaw, and you met him while studying in the library. That's why you spend so much time in there!"
Lily laughed. "No, no date. I promise."
James internally breathed a sigh of relief.
"How about detention? You have detention with McGonagall for passing notes with your friends during Transfiguration. Instead of going to Hogsmeade, you're being forced to clean the trophy room."
"McGonagall only told us off for the note passing," Lily rolled her eyes. "She didn't give us detention."
"That's because you're a teacher's pet," James responded casually.
"I am not!" Lily protested.
James snorted in disbelief. "Please. All of the teachers adore you. You always do well in class, you always do your assignments, you always take notes, and you always follow the rules."
"I do not."
"When's the last time you had detention, then?" James challenged with a smirk.
Lily's face turned a deep shade of red, and she muttered something inaudible.
"What was that?" James asked, grinning as he placed a hand to his ear. "I didn't quite catch that."
Lily crossed her arms defensively. "I said, 'never'. Are you happy? I've never had detention in my life. But that doesn't mean I've never broken any rules, Mr. Potter. I'm just smart enough to avoid getting caught. And I hardly think that detention is something to be proud of."
James felt the corner of his mouth turn upwards. "I never said it was, Miss Evans. So, all these rules that you've broken…"
"I never said there were that many," Lily interjected. "I just said I had broken some."
"All right," James allowed, "Name the last devious act you've committed."
Lily thought for a moment. "Well, at home I –"
"No, no," James wave his hand dismissively. "I mean here at Hogwarts. When's the last time you defied a teacher? When's the last time you made up some complete rubbish and handed it in as an essay? When's the last time you skived off Binns' class because you felt like kipping on the common room couch instead of on a wooden desk?"
"I'd never skive off class!" Lily cried, seemingly scandalized at the very thought.
"Why not? What about Binns? We're not even learning anything practical in there!" James reasoned. "Can you honestly tell me that in five years, even next year, you're going to know about the never ending Goblin Wars and who Gringleholf was and what he did?"
"There is no Goblin leader named Grin-" Lily began, but James cut her off.
"You're missing the point, Lily!"
"All right, all right, I'll probably never need to know any of that stuff," Lily consented, "but how will I know the material for the exams if I'm not in class? I'm not like you, James. I don't take risks. I don't live on the edge."
"I thought you wanted to be an Auror?" James asked, tilting his head to the side.
"Well, yes, but -"
"Then we'd better get you acquainted with the edge," James said, inspiration striking him like a bludger to the head. "Come on," he grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her along behind him as he raced up a flight of stairs and down a dark corridor, ignoring Lily's protest and questions about where they were headed. He stopped in front of a large, floor length mirror, dropped Lily's hand, and pulled a piece of parchment from the pocket of his robes.
"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," James recited, placing his wand to the parchment. From the tip of his wand, ink spread out to form a map of Hogwarts. He quickly scanned the parchment, and when he saw that Filch and Mrs. Norris were two floors below, he tapped the map again with his wand ("Mischief managed") and stuffed the parchment back into his pocket.
"What was that all about?" Lily asked, gesturing to his pocket. James noted that she looked very pretty when she was confused.
"I'm teaching you to live on the edge," James responded in a matter of fact voice.
"Puertus," James whispered, touching the wand to the mirror. The surface of the mirror began to shimmer with a white glow, and suddenly they were able to see through the mirror into a passageway that had been previously invisible.
He turned to Lily. "Coming?"
"Where?" Lily asked, staring at the mirror and into the passageway behind it in awe.
"Hogsmeade of course," James replied, not feeling nearly as calm as he hoped he sounded. He was, after all asking her to break at least a dozen school rules.
"What about rounds?" Lily asked hesitantly, still staring into the mirror.
James shrugged. "No one will notice we're gone. Besides," he added before Lily could protest, "rounds end in two minutes anyway."
When Lily still didn't answer, James offered her his hand. "Come on, Lily. Take a risk. Live on the edge."
Lily's hand was a tad chilly as she slid her small hand into his larger one, and the sensation still caused James' stomach to do cartwheels.
L … J
"Have you seen Prongs?" Sirius asked as he approached Remus in the common room. "I have to show him something," he motioned to the book he was holding. Jixes, Hexes, Curses, and Other Ways to Harm Your Enemies was written on the spine in gold lettering.
"No, I haven't," Remus answered, setting down his quill and pushing his potions essay to the side. "He's on rounds with Lily."
"Ah, I forgot that was tonight."
"Have either of you two seen Lily?" Hestia asked, as she came up to the table holding a small stack of parchment. "I need her help with the Charms assignment."
"She's on rounds," Sirius and Remus answered simultaneously.
"Oh, honestly," Hestia pointed at the clock over the fireplace mantle. "Rounds ended half an hour ago."
"What?" Remus asked incredulously, turning to see the clock for himself. "Where are they, then?"
"I was hoping that you'd know," Hestia sighed, pulling out a chair and sitting down across from Remus.
"Maybe," Sirius suggested, "they're in some dark corner sno- er…" he stopped as he realized who he was talking about, and who he was saying it in front of. "Er…sorry, Hestia. Perhaps they're off hexing Slytherins?"
Remus rolled his eyes. "As likely as that suggestion is, I'm sure they just lost track of the time or something equally as probable."
L …J
"Here you are, two butterbeers," Madam Rosmerta said as she placed a tankard of butterbeer in front of both Lily and James. "Where are the other three?" she asked James, looking between the two students with a knowing smile as she leaned forward across the bar. "Or is this a date?"
Lily felt her face grow warm. "Oh no," she hastened to assure Madam Rosmerta.
"We're just friends," James added, his face also a bit pink. "I'm teaching Lily how to skive off Head duties."
"Oh, I see. Well, enjoy your drinks, you two," Madam Rosmerta laughed as Lily and James made their way to an empty table in the far corner of the room.
"So, now that we're here," James said as he sipped his drink, "mind telling me why you aren't going to Hogsmeade this weekend?"
"Is that why you dragged me all the way here?" Lily demanded, setting her tankard down with a loud clunk.
"Not entirely," James grinned. "I told you; I'm teaching you to live on the edge."
"What's so great about the edge? What is it that makes you want to take so many risks?" Lily asked, trying to understand.
James sat back in his seat a bit. "I like taking risks: the more danger the better. I think it's because of my parents, really. You met them, they're…very stiff and formal. Well, not so much Mother, she's a sweet lady. But they're extremely traditional – surely you've noticed how I say mother and father instead of mum and dad. I grew up around all of that, and once I came here and was away from their influence, I realized that I didn't want to be like that.
"And you know, living on the edge doesn't necessarily mean breaking the rules. I mean, sure, the guys and I bend and break the rules quite a bit, but other stuff can be viewed as living on the edge; take Quidditch for example. Playing Quidditch is dangerous, but it's fun and thrilling. And what about being an Auror? It's terribly dangerous hunting down and fighting dark wizards. Your life is always hanging in the balance during dark times like these."
Lily sat for a moment, considering what James was saying. "So…you're saying that living on the edge is only about the dangerous and exciting?" she asked, taking another sip of her butterbeer, savoring its warmness.
James shook his head. "No, it's not only that. It can be…well, take you for instance."
Lily blinked. "Me? How do I possibly qualify as living on the edge? I wouldn't say I'm a complete rule stickler, but I'm certainly nothing like you."
James just smiled. "Rules have nothing to do with it. You came to Hogwarts, didn't you? You came from a muggle family with no prior knowledge of the magical world. That had to be huge leap of faith."
"Yes, yes it was," Lily said slowly, realizing what James was saying. "I was terrified, but I wanted to learn magic, so I came. Compared to the rest of my family, I am living on the edge."
"You see," James grinned, making Lily's heart beat faster in her chest. "It's all a matter of perspective." Draining his mug, he reached into his pockets and pulled out several coins and threw them on the table. "Shall we go?"
"We should be getting back to the castle," Lily agreed, standing up and moving out of the booth.
"Who said anything about going back?" James asked with a grin.
"But – but, we can't," Lily argued. "I mean, our friends are bound to notice that we're missing, aren't they?"
James shrugged and held the door open for Lily. "Let them wonder for a while."
Lily sighed and turned to face James. "And what, may I ask, are we going to tell them? What do I tell Hestia when she asks me where I was? That I was at Hogsmeade with her boyfriend?"
"Tell them…er…" James paused, biting his lip as he thought. "Tell them you were living on the edge. Come on, let's walk this way."
"What's this way?" Lily asked, falling into step beside James.
"The Hog's Head."
"But we've just had drinks!" Lily exclaimed. "And there is no way in Merlin's name that I'm going into a filthy bar like the Hog's Head. Three Broomsticks is enough for me, thank you very much."
"We're not going in," James assured Lily with a smirk. "We're just going to stand outside."
"Outside?" Lily echoed incredulously. "Are you trying to take the mickey out of me or something, James? It's freezing out here."
"Use a warming spell," James replied simply. "And no, I'm not taking the mickey, I'm serious. Well, no I'm not, I'm James, but I mean what I say. We're going to stand outside."
Following James' advice, Lily pulled out her wand and preformed a warming charm, feeling much better as she did so. The two continued to walk in a comfortable silence until Lily heard music. Lily's forehead furrowed as she listened to the familiar music. "Is that…"
"Bagpipes and a hand drum," James supplied. "Come on, he's only one street over."
"Who's only one street over?" Lily asked, but at that moment, they turned a corner and Lily saw for herself. The man wore a red and black kilt, with a length of tartan thrown over his left shoulder and tied around his waist. On his feet were a pair of thick soled boots with dull silver buckles, and he was stomping in time to the beat of a drum, which was obviously enchanted, as there was no one playing it.
The man may have looked ancient, but his fingers flew over the openings of his pipes with great dexterity and accuracy. Lily found herself tapping her foot to the beat, and next to her, she noticed James doing the same. When the man finished his tune, she and James applauded, and the man bowed, grinning as he did so.
"Good tae see ye, lad," he greeted James. "An' I see ye brocht a fine lass wi' ye this time."
"Aye," James agreed with a laugh. "Hamish, this is my friend Lily Evans. Lily, this is Hamish."
"Nice to meet you," Lily told the man, wondering why in the world James had brought her to meet this man.
He put his instrument to his mouth again, turning towards James. "The usual, lad?"
James grinned in response, and the man breathed in deeply before striking up a fast paced reel.
"How often do you come here to listen to him play?" Lily asked James over the sound of the music.
"Oh, I dunno. Whenever I get the chance. Hamish and I go back a ways; I met him in second year," James explained, leaning close to Lily in order to be heard. James paused for a moment. "Want some more practice at living on the edge?" he offered, his warm breath on her face causing her senses to become blurry.
Lily turned her head to look at him, searching his eyes. His hazel eyes were gleaming with laughter, but yet there was a seriousness about them that assured Lily that he was not simply having a go at her at her expense.
"Why not?" Lily agreed, smiling, yet unsure of what James was asking her to do.
For the second time that night, James offered her his hand. "Dance with me."
"I – I don't know how to dance to this kind of music," Lily stammered.
"There's no set way," James shook his head. "You just – jump and whirl and move to the music."
"It sounds pagan," Lily said as she placed her hand in James'.
James grinned widely, showing his perfectly aligned white teeth. "It is."
L … J
The dormitory was dark when Lily finally made it back. She moved quietly through the room, taking extra care to avoid making noises that would wake anyone. Closing the bathroom door gently, Lily lit the candles on the wall with her wand.
Looking at her watch, Lily realized that she hadn't been gone nearly as long as she'd thought. It was only shortly after midnight. She'd had such a wonderful evening time had seemed to slow down to give her longer to enjoy her time with James.
Dragging a brush through her windswept hair, Lily smiled at memory of her dance with James. It was probably the most out-of-her-comfort-zone thing that she'd ever done in her life, yet Lily supposed that it was the most fun she'd had in a great while. It had been a tad embarrassing at first, dancing wildly with James, but after a bit it had seemed almost natural.
Extinguishing the candles, Lily opened the door and stepped into the dormitory. She froze when she realized that Hestia's curtains were open and she was sitting up in her bed, apparently waiting for Lily.
"Where have you been?" Hestia whispered, tapping her wrist to indicate the hour.
Lily's mind raced as she tried to think of an excuse. She couldn't tell Hestia that she had been in Hogsmeade with James...James…
Lily sighed happily and smiled. "I've been living on the edge."
L … J
"So," Sirius said as he plopped himself down next to James at breakfast the next morning. "What did you find out for me, eh? Does she have any plans for Hogsmeade? Places she wants to visit where I can coincidently bump into her?"
"Er…not exactly," James replied, his insides squirming uncomfortably. "She…uh…might not go to Hogsmeade at all."
"What?" Sirius cried, nearly spilling the pitcher of pumpkin juice he had just picked up. "But…but she has to go! How am I supposed to prove to her that I'm the perfect bloke for her if she isn't there?"
"How is Lily being in Hogsmeade going to help you prove that you're the perfect bloke?" James asked as he selected a piece of toast and spread a thick layer of jam over it.
"Think about it, James! Hogsmeade is full of chivalrous opportunities! Paying for her drink, holding doors open for her, protecting her from Slytherins…"
James had the sudden urge to hit his best friend over the head with the platter of bacon in front of him. "Sirius…with the exception of paying for her drink, you can do all of that right here at the castle. I don't think whether or not she goes to Hogsmeade this weekend is going to be the be all or end all of any potential relationship you two may have. I'm sure you could prove to her that you're a decent bloke whether she goes or stays. And besides - "
James stopped speaking at the strange, narrow eyed look he was getting from Sirius.
"Go on," Sirius instructed, sounding mildly curious, yet at the same time a bit defensive.
"Well," James cleared his throat, "Honestly, mate, I don't think things like door opening or 'Slytherin protecting' are going to make her like you. They might help to a degree, but in the end it's your personality that she's either drawn to or not. You can't make her fancy you."
Sirius scratched his head. "Are you, by any chance, channeling Remus?"
James couldn't help but laugh. "I guess if you listen to Remus long enough, you start to pick up on some of the things he says." James's smile faded as he grew serious. "He's right though, you know, about you talking to Lily for yourself. I feel like I'm using her, Sirius. She'll think I'm asking her things because I'm her friend, not because my best mate wants a bit of trivial information. I don't want there to be ulterior motives lurking in the background when I ask her things or just engage her in conversation … I don't want to her hurt her."
"You won't!" Sirius insisted as he loaded his plate with sausage and bacon. "She won't even find out. But if she does, just tell her it was my idea."
"I can't do that. I'm not lying to her."
"Look, James," Sirius said through a mouth full of bacon, "All I want to know is purely harmless stuff. Her favorite color, what she's looking for in a guy, stuff like that."
James took a long drink of his juice and set the empty goblet down firmly on the table. "Sirius, I am not asking her any more questions on your behalf, and that's final."
With that statement, James rose to his feet and, standing to his full height, walked out of the Great Hall, leaving a very confused Sirius Black in his wake.
L … J
"Stir for seven minutes in a clockwise direction," Lily instructed Alice.
Alice nodded and began stirring the potion. "What should it look like when it's finished?"
"It should have a mother of pearl sheen, and the smoke is supposed to rise in 'characteristic spirals'," Lily read out of the book.
"You were with James last night, weren't you?" Alice asked in a rhetorical kind of manner. "Frank said that James got in a bit past midnight."
Lily paused. She bit her lip, reluctant to admit that she had been with James. How much information could she divulge to Alice? It wasn't that Alice wasn't to be trusted -she was - it was merely the idea of multiple people knowing. Lily had greatly enjoyed her adventure with James and had hoped to keep it a secret between the two of them. It was silly of her to have thought so, she now realized. Someone was bound to have noticed her absence coupled with James'.
Looking in Professor Slughorn's direction to make sure he wasn't watching, she pulled her wand out of her pocket. "Muffliato," Lily preformed the spell nonverbally, then turned back to face Alice.
"Yes," she admitted softly. "But I swear Alice, there was nothing inappropriate going on. I just…we were on rounds, and he said I had to learn to live on the edge if I'm going to become an Auror, so we snuck out to Hogsmeade. All we did was have a drink at Three Broomsticks and dance to some bagpipes an old warlock was playing. It's not really a big deal."
"Wait…" Alice held up her hand. "You danced to bagpipes played by a warlock?"
"Er…yes," Lily answered, feeling a bit foolish about the entire ordeal now.
"Like…like a date?" Alice whispered, leaning closer to Lily and glancing around the surrounding area for eavesdroppers even though the muffling spell was in place.
"No!" Lily protested loudly, nearly dropping her textbook. Of course, now that she looked back on the incident, it did rather look like a date - a guy and a girl, sneaking out of school for drinks and to dance to bagpipes played by a warlock. It screamed date. But it hadn't been a date. Not at all.
"It wasn't like that," Lily assured Alice. "He said that I should learn to live on the edge, so we snuck out through a secret passageway he and his mates know about. We just went to Three Broomsticks out of habit. All of us always go on school visits."
"And the dancing?" Alice prompted, still stirring the potion.
Lily felt her face flush. "It wasn't meant like that," she insisted. "You know I'd never normally dance like that in public. Like I said, James was just trying to get me to live on the edge. And dancing like a madwoman in the middle of the street is definitely on the edge."
"The edge of insanity," Alice smirked, taking the stirring stick out of the potion, tapping it twice on the edge of the cauldron, and setting it to the side.
"You – you believe me?" Lily asked, dumbstruck by Alice's comment.
"Of course I do," Alice responded with a small frown. "I'm your friend, Lily. I trust you when you say it wasn't a date. But," she lowered her voice, "that doesn't mean that you don't wish that it was."
Lily swallowed thickly. "Is it that obvious?"
"No," Alice answered simply. "It's probably only even remotely obvious to those who know you extremely well. You hide it very well. I wasn't even sure until just now."
Lily's mouth dropped open. "You tricked me?"
Alice smiled shyly. "Don't you feel better that someone knows now, Lily? I can't even imagine pretending that I didn't fancy Frank. And you're hiding your feelings for the most unselfish reasons possible, Lily. Oh bugger, here comes Slughorn."
Lily glanced up to see that Alice was right. Taking her wand from her pocket as inconspicuously as she could, she held it under the table and swished her wand once, nonverbally removing the sound muffling charm.
"Well, well, ladies," Professor Slughorn said, slowly approaching their cauldron. "Let's see…" he plunged his hands into the pockets of his robes and pulled out a small vial filled with green liquid. Carefully adding two drops, he waited until the potion turned a deep purple, then returned to its original mother of pearl color.
"Well done, Miss Evans! Well done, Miss Bennett!" Professor Slughorn congratulated the girls. "A perfect Amortentia potion! Not that I expected any less from you two, but I think ten points to Gryffindor is in order. And what –" he smiled, small eyes glinting, "may I ask, does the potion smell like for each of you?"
Alice leaned forward towards the spiraling steam. "It smells like…the outdoors, Drooble's Best Blowing Gum and…Frank's cologne," she ended, blushing heavily.
"Good, good," Slughorn praised, ignoring Alice's red face. He turned to face Lily. "And you, Miss Evans? What does the Amortentia potion smell like for you?"
"Well," Lily began, leaning forward to smell the potion. Her nose was instantly filled three scents, mingled together yet at the same time unique. "I smell a kind of a woodsy, earthy scent, something that smells like some sort of wood polish and… mint toothpaste."
"Very good," Slughorn smiled, and moved on to inspect another pair's cauldron.
"Well, if I hadn't known before, I'd know now," Alice grinned.
Lily titled her head to the right in question. "What do you mean?"
"The way the Amortentia potion smells to you," Alice explained softly with a smile. "The woodsy, earthy smell is his scent, and the wood polish is broom polish."
"And the mint toothpaste?"
"One can only suspect that you prefer blokes with minty fresh breath," Alice replied with a giggle.
L … J
"Hm…" Sirius sniffed as he leaned over the simmering cauldron. "Smells like a broomstick, some berry scent, and chocolate. What's it smell like to you?"
James leaned forward a bit in order to better catch the scent of the potion.
"Well?" Sirius prompted impatiently.
"Vanilla, new parchment, and something that smells like fruity shampoo," James announced.
"Is this supposed to smell like the person we're attracted to? Or just what attracts us?"
"Uh…" James consulted his textbook. "I think it's what attracts us, but that could be a person, couldn't it?"
Sirius looked rather put out at this information. "Broomsticks and chocolate doesn't remind me of Lily."
James heart soared at this information, but he managed to keep his facial expression neutral.
"I mean, yours smells more like Lily than mine does!" Sirius pointed at James. "Why doesn't mine smell like the girl I'm attracted to?"
"Er…maybe you're not attracted to Lily?" James suggested, hoping that his voice didn't betray any sense of happiness at the idea.
"Of course I'm attracted to Lily!" Sirius protested loudly, causing the group working next to their cauldron to snicker softly. "I'd think I'd know who I'm attracted to."
L … J
The fire was crackling in the grate as Lily entered the Prefect's Meeting Room. She was surprised to find James already there, sprawled out on his stomach in front of the fire, a book and several sheets of parchment spread out in front of him. A quill was tucked behind his ear, and he was tapping his index finger against his lower lip as he read.
"'Lo, Lily," he said without looking up.
"How did you know it was me?" Lily asked, astonished.
James finally looked up and grinned. "Considering we're the only ones who come in here to do homework – or are allowed to – it wasn't too terribly difficult to figure out. What are you here to work on?"
"The transfiguration essay," Lily answered setting her school bag on the meeting table.
"You don't have to sit up there by yourself," James said, pushing himself up on his elbows. "You can come over here. I'm working on that essay too. We can pool our resources. Two heads are better than one."
"That would be wonderful," Lily admitted, taking her bag and moving to sit across from James on the floor. "I don't quite understand the bit about animate objects, and I was hoping to get this essay done tonight so I have plenty of time to-"
Lily stopped as she realized that she had almost spilled the beans. She inwardly kicked herself as she felt her face grow warm.
"You do realize," James said, donning a smirk, "that you never did tell me why you aren't going to Hogsmeade this weekend, don't you?"
"No," Lily lied, opening her book to the desired page.
"Don't lie to me, Lily."
"Are you going to bother me about until I give in and tell you?" Lily sighed.
"It is probable," James grinned, eyes twinkling with mirth.
Lily covered her face with her hands. "You'll laugh at me."
"I will not, James insisted, leaning forward, closer to Lily. "No matter what you tell me, I promise I won't laugh."
Lily's fingers parted, revealing her eyes. "I was thinking that I should start studying for N.E.W.T.s."
Lily watched as James opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. "Lily…N.E.W.T.s are in June. This is January."
"I know that."
"But…but…you're Head Girl; you're brilliant. Why in the name of Merlin are you going to start studying now?"
Lily sighed. "James…I'm muggle-born. I have to do well on the N.E.W.T. tests to get in to the Auror training program. You'll get in because your dad's the Head of the Department, but I'm a girl and a muggle-born. The deck is stacked against me James, I have to try and even it out any way I can, and this is the only way I know how."
James was silent for a moment. "Lily…yes, N.E.W.Ts are going to be difficult, but there's plenty of time to study. Don't you remember all the prep work the professors had us do for our O.W.Ls? They'll help us again. And your deck is not nearly as stacked against you as you think. It's true that there aren't as many women Aurors as male ones, but the women Aurors I know are perfectly capable. You're Head Girl, and that counts for something. The ministry knows that Dumbledore doesn't give the position to just anyone. I know the people who choose who gets into the program and who doesn't. They're tough but they're fair. You'll get in Lily."
"You can't guarantee that, James!" Lily cried. "I have to make sure that I will!"
"I tell you what," James offered. "We can start studying in March. That's much sooner than most people start studying. Most people start in May. We could meet in here every other night, or something like that."
"Wait a minute," Lily put a hand to her forehead. "We?"
"Yes, we," James explained gently. "I'm offering to help you study. You know, be like a study partner."
"Don't you want to study with your friends?" Lily asked.
The corners of James' mouth turned up in a small smile. "Lily, you are my friend. But, if by friends, you mean the guys, we could have a really big study group with all of us. Of course, they won't start studying until mid-May. Well, Remus will start sooner, but he's the exception."
Lily smiled slightly. "I would love that, James," she paused. "Thank you. I just…get so worried about the future."
"So do I," James nodded with a strange look in his eyes.
"But your future is…" Lily began, but stopped, feeling uncomfortable with the subject of James' future.
"Planned by my father," James finished hollowly. "That's why I worry."
L … J
Sirius took a deep breath, squared his shoulders and opened the doors. The smell of books greeted him and he wrinkled his nose in an unappreciating manner. He couldn't quite believe that he was here in the library to talk to Lily Evans.
Scanning the tables he spotted her towards the back sitting at a table with her friends. Frowning slightly, he shook his head and decided to go ahead with his plan. With any luck, her friends would get up and leave.
"Hiya Lily! Girls!" he greeted them cheerfully.
"Hello, Sirius," the girls each greeted him.
"Sirius Black in the library?" Emmeline asked with a faint smile. "What is the world coming to?"
"Shocking, I know," Sirius said, throwing Emmeline one of his famous smiles. "What are you working on?" he asked Lily as he pulled out a chair and sat down next to her.
"Charms," Lily answered, not bothering to look up from what she was writing.
"Really?" Sirius commented. "I haven't started that yet. I was planning to do that later on tonight."
"Hm," Lily responded. "You'd better get busy. It is due tomorrow, you know."
"Nah," Sirius grinned, leaning back in his chair so it was balanced on two legs. "I've got plenty of time tonight, and besides, there's always lunch tomorrow."
"I wish I could do my essays during lunch and still pass," Hestia commented dryly. "I'll be right back," She pushed her chair back and made her way to the Transfiguration section.
"So…how much longer are you going to be in here?" Sirius asked, running a hand through his hair much the same way James did.
"Until I'm done."
"And when will that be?"
Lily opened her mouth to respond, but how long she would be writing her essay Sirius never found out because at that moment, James waltzed up to the table with a friendly "Hello ladies". The girls, Lily especially, greeted him with a smile and hello of their own.
"Charms essay, hmm?" James asked Lily as he leaned across the table to read the title of Lily's parchment.
"Yeah," Lily responded. "Household spells are fascinating."
"Household spells!" Sirius cut in, thankful for a chance to talk with Lily about something relevant. "How in the name of Merlin is that rubbish interesting!"
"I grew up in the muggle world, remember?" Lily explained calmly. "I think that dusting and dish washing spells are brilliant. Think how much time they'll save me in the future. I'll never have to pick up a dust rag again."
"She's right, Sirius," James added with a cheeky grin. "When you finally get a place of your own you are going to have to clean it once and a while, you know."
Sirius held in hands in up in front of him. "You win, you win. They're useful."
Much to Sirius' chagrin, James engaged Lily in a conversation about the upcoming Prefect's meeting of which Sirius, not being a Prefect, knew absolutely nothing about. Instead of trying to butt into a conversation to which he did not belong, Sirius decided to lend Alice and Hestia a helping hand on their Transfiguration essays.
"So that's the only difference between human and animal transfiguration?" Alice asked. "Just the incantation and wrist movement?"
Sirius nodded. "It's the same basic principle, since we're all technically mammals. But since animals are structured a bit different, you need the different wrist movement."
"Hey, I found that book we were looking for the other day!" Hestia announced happily as she returned to the group. "Where did Lily and James run off to?"
Sirius whipped his head around, and found that Hestia was quite right. While he had had his back turned, Lily and James had up and left.
Sirius rubbed his eyes in a tired manner. "I finally try to talk to her, and my best mate runs off with her."
L …J
She had never noticed how black his hair truly was…it was like looking up at the night sky out in the middle of the country where there were no lights, just time and space.
She fought down a smile as he ran a hand through his hair, causing it to sick up even more in the back. In all the time that she'd known him, she'd never seen his hair lay flat. Even when wet, his hair somehow managed to remain untidy.
"Hestia."
It was remarkable really, how his hair seemed to have its own personality –
"Hestia!"
Hestia jerked out her reverie to see Emmeline staring at her with a knowing smile.
Hestia felt the color rise in her face. "Sorry, guess I wasn't paying attention."
Emmeline's eyes sparkled as she tapped her quill on her parchment. "It's completely understandable to be ogling the back of your boyfriends head."
"I was not ogling!" Hestia protested in a harsh whisper as she resumed her note taking.
Emmeline laughed softly, earning a stern look from Professor Slughorn. "It's okay, Hestia. It's perfectly natural to find your boyfriend attractive."
Hestia chose not to respond to Emmeline's comment, but continued to debate the issue in her mind as she took down notes. Emmeline was right, it was only natural. She and James were dating after all.
She frowned slightly. They might have been dating, but Hestia never felt like she was in a relationship. Didn't being someone's girlfriend mean you got to hold hands, or spend time with just your significant other? She and James didn't do any of that. And she wanted to, Hestia realized with a start. She wanted to be properly dating James. She wanted to feel like his girlfriend.
L … J
The two Head students had been working on school work for the better part of two hours when James suddenly spun around to look at the clock over the fireplace mantle. Twisting to take a peek out the window, he smiled.
Remus would be making his way out to the Shrieking Shack right about now. In a few minutes, he, Sirius, and Peter would join him there by way of the tunnel underneath the Whomping Willow. Then once the sun had set Remus would transform and they would be free to explore the school grounds. There were some caves to the west of the school that the four were planning on visiting.
"There's something I need from the library; I won't be back," James told Lily as he got up from the table, grabbing his rucksack which held the Marauder's Map and his invisibility cloak, but leaving his schoolbooks behind. "I'm leaving my books here. I'll get them in the morning."
Lily glanced at James's bag without his books, then looked out the window at the sun setting rapidly in the sky.
"Whatever you're doing – be careful."
"I don't know what you're talking about," James replied diplomatically, refusing to incriminate himself.
Lily smiled wryly. "I've known about Remus for ages, James. It's not that difficult to figure out, you know. There were plenty of clues. I don't know how you can be with him, but however you do manage it – be careful."
"I will," James promised, and then he was gone.
L … J
James, Sirius, and Peter all trooped into the hospital wing the next morning to see Remus. He was sitting up, looking better than he had when they had left him at the Shrieking Shack.
"How you doing, Moony?" Sirius asked tossing a slab of Honeyduke's chocolate into his friend's lap.
Remus merely shrugged as he opened the chocolate. "I've been better, but Merlin knows I've been worse."
The other three nodded, remembering the times before they had become animagi, when Remus had nearly torn himself to shreds every month.
James glanced furtively around the hospital wing. They were the only ones there, and Madam Pomfrey was busy in her office. He cleared his throat.
"Lily knows, mate," As the words left James's mouth, he noticed Remus pale instantly.
"She-she knows?" he choked out. "How long?"
"She said she's known for ages, whatever that means. Years, I suppose. She also….she knows that we," he motioned to himself, Sirius and Peter, "that we're with you somehow."
"What?" Peter nearly squeaked.
Sirius looked floored. "Just how much does she know about…us?"
"She doesn't know how," James shook his head. "Only that somehow we're with Moony."
"You want to tell her," Remus said, a statement rather than a question.
James nodded. "Lily's our friend; she's not going to tell. She's known about you for a long time, and she's never even treated you differently because of it. I won't tell her your animal forms. I'll leave that up to you if you so choose."
Sirius' hands fisted as he internally debated the issue. Finally he nodded. "If she knows this much, we might as well fill her in the rest."
Peter nodded in agreement. "We can trust Lily."
All looked to Remus.
"Of course you can tell her. Why do you need my permission?"
"Because," James crossed his arms in front of him. "We do it for you, and you have a say in who we trust with this secret."
Taking a bite out of his chocolate, Remus nodded in consent. "I agree that we tell her. If she's known for this long, and we didn't even have any suspicions that she knew, we can trust her."
L … J
"And finally, I'd like to remind everyone to sign up for hall patrols for next month. That will be all. Have a good week, see you next week, same time."
Lily stood up and pushed her chair back, gathering up her notes as she did so. There was a light touch on her shoulder, and Lily looked up to see James standing next to her. Her heart fluttered in her chest, beating an irregular rhythm.
"We need to talk."
His voice was tight, and he was more serious than she'd ever seen him in her life. She nodded. "Once everyone's gone."
They busied themselves with shuffling papers and organizing notes while they waited for the last Prefect to leave the meeting room.
There was a moment of silence, then James spoke. "About yesterday…how long have you known about Remus?"
"Since fourth year when I did a report on werewolves for Defense. It just fell into place – his mysterious monthly sickness, the bruises and scratches he'll sometimes have after he's 'sick'. It didn't take too long for me to put two and two together."
James ran a hand over his face. "Do any of the other girls know?"
"If they do, they're not saying," Lily shrugged. "Look, James, I've kept his secret this long, I'm not about to tell anyone now. Remus is my friend too."
"I know; it's just that I've spent the better part of my Hogwarts career trying to keep people from finding out about, you know… his condition. It's not that I don't trust you, I do – I'm just protective of him."
"I understand, James," Lily smiled slightly. "You're just trying to be the best friend to him that you can. I admire that."
"Thanks," James replied softly, then paused. "How…how did you figure out that we're with him when he transforms?"
"I'm not sure exactly," Lily tilted her head to the side. "It wasn't nearly as obvious as Remus's condition, but I suppose that's what triggered the whole idea in my mind. About the middle of fifth year, all four of you would disappear once a month instead of just Remus disappearing. I figured that you had to be with him somehow."
"You're right, we are with him," James nodded. "We… we're…that is…"
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Lily said gently, moving forward to place her hand on James' shoulder. Even through his robes and school sweater she could feel his warmth, and she felt a tingle run up her spine.
"No," James shook his head as though trying to clear his thoughts. "You know this much…I owe you an explanation now. I asked the guys if I could tell you, and they agreed," here he pulled out his wand and cast a silencing charm on the room. "What I'm about to tell you does not leave this room. Besides the four of us, you'll be the only one to know. If anyone were to find out, we're talking life in Azkaban."
Lily found it difficult to swallow, but she nodded. Her heart was racing at what James was about to tell her. Life in Azkaban…what they were doing was serious – more serious than she'd imagined.
"Lily, we're animagi."
Lily was silent for a moment, stunned at the news. "You – you're an animagus? But…James, that's ridiculously advanced magic. I mean, most fully trained witches and wizards can't transform themselves! How in the world….you became an animagus when you were in fifth year? I always knew you were something akin to a transfiguration prodigy, but…?"
Lily's heart was doing summersaults at the idea – James an animagus! Lily had known that James was a loyal friend, Gryffindor to the core, but this? This was beyond anything she had thought him or any other student capable of. Once a month he was risking a life long prison term and death. He was risking everything to help his friend in a time of need.
James smiled slightly at her astonishment and praise of his abilities. "It wasn't easy. We've had our fair share of tight spots, but we made it through. It's the only way we can help Remus. He's not a danger to us when we're in animal form. He's more…it helps him keep a clearer state of mind to have us with him. He doesn't hurt himself like he does when we're not there."
"The scratches and bruises…he used to inflict them on himself?"
James nodded. "Yeah, when it was just him in the Shrieking Shack, he'd bite himself."
Lily began to fully understand. "Of course! The Shrieking Shack! I should have figured that out! It's not really haunted, is it? It's just Remus."
"Dumbledore encouraged the rumor so that no one would go near it."
"With good reason," Lily commented, then stopped as she realized how what she had said sounded. "I just meant that we wouldn't want anyone else to get bit – I'm sure Remus doesn't want anyone else to share his fate. Poor Remus," she added sadly. "Of all the people in the world, it had to happen to one of the nicest people I know."
"That's why we try and help him in whatever ways we can," James replied simply.
"You really do live on the edge, don't you?" Lily commented in awe.
James grinned and ducked his head a bit. "Insanely close to the edge. I'm not asking you to go that far. Although I'm sure dancing in the middle of the streets of Hogsmeade is pretty close to the edge for you."
"James…" Lily suddenly asked, filled with curiosity, "What animal do you change into?"
"Oh…er…a stag," James answered, a faint blush staining his cheeks as he rubbed the back of his neck in an awkward manner.
A stag, Lily's heart sang. The animal a person changed into was a reflection of the person's inner character. Stags were powerful, yet graceful, aggressive when needed, but yet gentle. They were noble, majestic creatures – this was James' inner character.
"James…can I…I mean, can you…" Lily trailed off, feeling a tad embarrassed by her question.
Even though she hadn't finished her request, James seemed to understand what she had been trying to ask. He nodded with a characteristically mischievous smile and glimmer in his hazel eyes. Relaxing his stance, he closed his eyes, apparently concentrating all of his focus and energy on this one thing.
For a moment nothing seemed to happen, but then suddenly, at the top of James' head, antlers began to poke through his ebony hair. Then his body was lengthening and his arms and legs were becoming long and slender. Seemingly all at once, he was a stag. A beautifully handsome stag.
His fur coat was a rich, dark brown color, characteristic of a stag. His laughing hazel eyes were large as deer eyes are, and they observed her in a curious manner before he hesitantly took a step forward.
"Can I…" Lily asked, reaching her hand out towards him. He lowered his head in what Lily took to be a nod and she laid her hand on his head. Stroking her fingers over his head, Lily was shocked to find that his fur was extremely soft, and she wondered vaguely if his hair was just as soft when he was in human form.
He closed his eyes, seeming to enjoy her touch immensely. Then, pulling away from her slightly, he began to transform back into his human self. Just as quickly as he had become a stag, he became James Potter again.
Lily stared at him as he stood in front of her. She had just witnessed human self transfiguration at its highest level. And it was James who had shown her. He was absolutely brilliant.
As she stared at him, Lily noticed for the first time a long red gash on his forehead above his left eye. Moving forward, she reached up and ran a hand over it. "Did you get this as Prongs?" she asked.
"Figured out the nicknames, have you?" James grinned. "Yeah, I got it last night. It's nothing to worry about though."
"You need to be more careful," Lily breathed, suddenly noticing the close proximity between her and James.
"I will…" James replied, his voice sounding slightly husky.
As though under a spell, Lily and James leaned towards each other, closing the distance between them at an agonizingly slow pace. Lily felt one of James' hands come and cup her cheek to guide her face while the other stroked her head, running his fingers through her hair. Hazel met emerald just before their eyes slid shut, and their lips joined in a tender kiss.
And at that moment, Lily supposed that this adrenaline rush she was feeling – this feeling that her every nerve was pulsing, that her body was lighter than air – was what living on the edge must feel like.
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