Harry Potter and the Last Summer

YAY! Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix at midnight on the tenth! I'm SO excited!!!! And then Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows on the twenty-first at midnight again! So excited I can not describe, but of course you guys understand! I can't believe, though, that this series I've been reading for over half my life is ending…it's so bizarre!

I'm going to try to finish this before the new book. I thought maybe if I didn't I would still continue, but then I thought that I would just be using ideas from the book and that's not going to work out well. But I'm really going to try to finish it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I wouldn't be so excited for the books and movies since I would already know what happens. Nor do I own The Nightmare Before Christmas, which is an EXCELLENT movie, nor do I own the most FUMAZING Brit-com ever, Red Dwarf. And yet again, I do not own The Wizard of Oz or The Pajama Game.

Chapter 7: Cousins, Gay Lovers, and Twins, Oh My!

Diagon Alley isn't what it used to be. Hermione couldn't help but think. She had been there last year and knew it was now much more miserable, but it seemed even worse now, if that was possible (though this wasn't bothering her to much since Ron was holding her hand). She just wished that Jackie wouldn't be put off by it, but she was too excited to notice that it wasn't as happy as Hermione had described it.

Jackie's excitement was even higher when she saw Gringotts and all the goblins inside. Thankfully Bill got them around the whole security fast and they got over two hundred pounds in Wizarding money. They left the bank noticing that the security line they got to skip had only moved up a few people.

First they went to find all of Jackie's books. The witches and wizards around got a bit of a chuckle when Jackie picked up a book, looked inside, and then dropped it on the ground.

"The pictures…are they moving??!"

Jackie looked relieved after an explanation. She took up the book and then did something that made all the Weasleys laugh. Looking almost like a mini Hermione—they both had their father's looks—she opened her The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts and dug her nose in deep.

"Hermione!" Ron gasped in fake shock, "Why didn't you ever tell me you had a twin?"

Hermione looked at him with a mix of laughter and you're-so-stupid and hit him lightly over the head. The she retorted, "Well, when were you going to tell my family about your twin? Just because you're not identical doesn't mean you aren't twins, you know. He will be very hurt that you didn't tell your girlfriend's family that you had a twin; Harry will think that you're embarrassed by the whole Chosen One deal."

Ron stuck at his tongue while the Weasleys and Hermione's parents laughed. The other members of the Granger family weren't paying attention and having their own conversation. Mrs. Weasley then turned around and started a conversation with Hermione's parents.

"Too true," Bill said with a laugh as they walked down the streets of Diagon Alley to get potions ingredients and a cauldron. "I thought about that the other day. You can't say Fred without George and vice versa. The same goes for you and Harry."

"Eet ees zo ztrange," Fleur commented. "You both zeem to 'ave affections for uzzer girlz and zuch, but mozt at 'ome with a friendship like yourz don't chase after ze girlz at all."

Hermione, Bill, Fleur, and—surprisingly—Ginny laughed so loud that the whole group stopped and turned around. Hermione thought Ginny might be hurt too much to laugh at that, but it was truly funny. Hermione and Ginny were on their knees with tears coming out of their eyes at that point. Ron looked as if all the blood in his body was now in his head. After a few seconds they got off the ground and the group kept walking down the street. Ginny, Fleur, Bill, Hermione, and Ron kept to the back and continued the conversation.

Ginny saw Ron's red face and rolled her eyes. "Come on, Ron! I'm glad someone's finally said it!" Hermione nodded through her laughter and Ginny went on, "You should hear people talk about you two! There were so many bets around when you two would finally admit it!" Ron gaped at her, "Of course, people who know you guys know that that is false, but there was so much pointing to it! People just aren't used to two guys being so close to each other at this age."

Hermione nodded and swallowed. She had stopped laughing, but she was now red in the face and was smiling brightly. The five of them waited outside the Apothecary while the Grangers and Mrs. Weasley went inside the building. Hermione then said logically, "Just look at how it looks to everyone on the outside of the friendship. You two were closer than everyone after just one train ride…"

"Hermione joined your group, but none of you ever made any moves on her," Ginny continued.

"You two spent every holiday together," Hermione added, "During the beginning of the Triwizard Tournament, Harry was more miserable than ever because you two weren't talking."

"Then you were what he would miss most in the Second Task while the two guys had a girl and Fleur had her sister." Ginny said with a sly smile. "People stopped asking questions after that; they just considered you guys a couple."

Ron was still bright red, but he seemed to have more confidence since Hermione still held his hand. In fact, he said in mock sadness, "We didn't want to tell you guys until after the wedding!" Ginny, Bill, and Hermione were shocked for a moment that Ron actually made a joke at his own expense, but then they joined Fleur in laughter.

"I actually think that's how the whole Won-Won situation started. I'm pretty sure Lavender actually had a crush on you but also wanted to see if you were gay or not." Ginny stated as if it was normal to talk about you're ex-boyfriend and your brother being a rumored couple.

Hermione rolled her eyes as Ron looked horrified but a bit mad that Lavender wasn't just in it because of him, "But people really should look at the facts. No one at Hogwarts really knows how bad his aunt and uncle and cousin treat him, so they don't realize that you're probably his first friend."

Bill looked at her, puzzled. "He told you that he didn't have friends? His family is that bad?" Fleur looked shocked as well.

"Well, his cousin scared all of the kids they knew. Dudley still scares the neighborhood children more than anyone else, even though their parents have warned them about the Potter boy who goes to a school for criminals and the insane." Hermione said like she was talking about the weather. "He never said that he never had friends, but if you read between the lines you see that."

"Yeah, he doesn't even expect anything nice to happen. I mean, now he does since he's gotten used to it," Ron added, "But on that first Christmas he actually turned to me and said, in his high, squeaky, un-changed voice, 'I have presents?' If the students really knew him they wouldn't think he was stuck up at all. Stubborn and hot tempered, yes, but now stuck up."

"Well, there's just more proof that he's your twin, Ron," Bill said with a smile, "No one does stubbornness and temper tantrums quite like the two of you. Well, at least from what I've heard about Harry."

Once again, Ron stuck out his tongue. Bill continued, "Of course, we knew you weren't like that. The family, I mean. I had suspicions when I heard you talk about all the things you did, which really meant all the things you and Harry did. But after I met him, I realized that it was just a friendship. Plus Hogwarts must have gotten really stupid because anyone could notice the sexual tension between you and Hermione within a mile."

Hermione joined Ron on the blushing train. But before they could continue, two figures ran over to them. One was a young woman with a pale, heart-shaped face with bright pink hair. She was holding hands with an older man with long, shaggy hair in patched robes. Despite the fact that Remus Lupin looked sick, he looked very happy to be holding Tonks' hand.

"Hey, Tonks, Remus," Bill greeted with a small smile, showing sharp fangs. "Someone's watching over Harry I hope?"

Tonks smiled. "Yeah, Kingsley Shacklebolt is since the Prime Minister made him take the day off."

"Have you talked to him?"

"Yeah, we had a pretty interesting time. Apparently the Ministry of Magic is still trying to get him to be their mascot, so he was more angst-ridden than usual." She said with her eyes tinkling, "But after we went on the swings and I beat him easily at jumping off, I walked him home. There was a Brightside of his angst, apparently; he accidentally spoke to a snake in his aunt's garden and started swearing in Parseltongue. After a few more shifts I noticed that now they won't go near him, even more than before, and he doesn't even have to do the gardening or wash the dishes or follow his cousins diet." She paused for a moment, "It's funny how much you find out when you pretend to be Arabella Figg's niece, therefore a good influence that can watch Harry if they go on vacation."

Tonks smiled at Ginny, Hermione, and Ron before continuing, "Which, in fact, they are going on starting today. Apparently they don't want his Aunt Marge blowing up again, so he's staying at their house and I'm watching him as Rose Figg to make sure that Harry doesn't break anything." Before their eyes, Tonks' hair grew out and turned blond; her eyes turned sapphire blue; and her lips grew a bit bigger. She smiled and bowed, "Rose Figg, niece of Arabella Figg, and English major at the University."

As soon as she finished her statement, the rest of the Grangers and Mrs. Weasley stepped out of the Apothecary. Mrs. Weasley looked a bit confused for a moment but then beamed as if a light bulb had gone on in her brain. She rushed over, "Tonks! Remus!" She hugged both of them. "I'm so glad you're here! Did you tell them the news yet?"

Before Ron, Hermione, or Ginny could answer, Tonks did. "I was just getting there, Molly," she said kindly as she transformed back to her normal look. Bretta glared in jealousy and the twins gaped and Jackie gasped. Tonks turned and smiled at her. "I assume you're Jackie?" Jackie nodded, "I'm Tonks, and this is Remus Lupin. I was born with this power of shape-shifting, but seeing as your Hermione's cousin—"

"And twin!" Ginny said with a grin.

"I'm sure you'd have found out sooner or later about that. Congratulations on the acceptance by the way." She winked and turned around.

"Now, you three," Ginny was confused at first since she wasn't normally part of "you three" with Ron and Hermione, but she caught up quickly. "Since the Dursleys are going to be gone for a few days, I'm sure Harry would love some, er, friendly company." Mrs. Weasley snorted at the mention of the Dursleys, but Tonks continued "So we thought you three could stay over there for a few days (along with me and Remus), starting tonight, and leave on next Saturday before his family returns. Ron and Ginny, your parents are obviously okay or else I wouldn't be bringing this up."

Hermione looked at her parents with a pleading look. Of course, her parents had to embarrass her somehow.

"Will there be separate sleeping situations for them? You know teenagers and their hormones…" Hermione's dad said. Obviously he thought it was funny since he added, "I don't need any redheaded grandchildren yet." Hermione turned bright red and smacked her forehead with her hand. Ron looked sheepish and rubbed his neck with his hand. Ginny tried her best not to laugh out loud.

Lupin smiled at them and said, "Trust me, nothing of that nature will happen under our watch. You should've met their friend Harry's parents; believe me, I've stopped wilder hormones."

Hermione's parents agreed. So they spent a bit longer getting Jackie's robes and dress robes and a wand (ten inches of yew with a dragon heartstring core) from a new wand shop that took over Ollivander's supplies. Jackie had enough galleons left, so her parents let her buy a black owl that she christened Midnight. They went to the Leaky Cauldron to relax for a bit and give Jackie her first butter beer and bought a few cases to take to the big sleepover (as Ron refused to call it) at Privet Drive.

The huge group then headed over to Weasley Wizard Wheezes. Penny and Jenny stared in awe at all of the marvelous items they could never even dream up; it was clear that if they went to Hogwarts they would follow in Fred and George's footsteps. Bretta eyed the love potions and zit zappers and hair removers while Jackie actually looking up from her book to coo over the Pygmy Puffs.

They talked briefly with the owners just to inform them that they would be Flooing from their apartment. However, when they saw Ron and Hermione's intertwined hands, they had to make a big deal out of it. They both exclaimed that they thought Hermione was actually smart. Fred put his hand to her forehead to make sure she didn't have a fever while George checked the records to make sure that Ron hadn't ordered a love potion. Fred went on to make sure she didn't have a concussion and George asked if Ron had used the Imperious curse. Ron brought out his wand and the twins stopped.

"Geez, just kidding, mate," George said with a smile.

"Yeah, we've been waiting for how many years now, George?"

"At least one hundred, Fred,"

"Ah yes, since it was written in a prophecy—"

"One redheaded prat will hook up with a smart Muggle-born…"

"Ergo finishing the Weasley pureblood line,"

"Thank God we won't have to be like Malfoys in our bloodline anymore…"

"Okay, we've got to go now, boys," Lupin said with a grin. "See you soon, Fred and George."

Hermione bade goodbye to her parents and the rest of her family while Ginny and Ron were getting bone crushing hugs from their mother who was afraid to part from them for another day. Finally the tree of them as well as Tonks and Lupin made it upstairs to the older twins' apartment and Flooed to the Burrow.

Tonks walked outside with Hermione and Apparated with her a little ways from her house. They ran over and Hermione packed quickly, double and triple checking that she got everything she needed. Once she was sure, she wrote a note to her parents.

Dear Mum and Dad,

I should be back, as you know, on Saturday, but I'm not quite sure on the time since we want to hurry over there. I'll let you know as soon as I can. Tonks and I are Apparating back to the Burrow and then all of us our Apparating near Harry's house. I don't know if I'll get to writing much, so I wanted to write something before I go.

Love,

Hermione

P.S. Dad, did you have to say that??

—

Harry Potter. The Boy Who Lived. The Chosen One. Harry couldn't help but wonder what the Wizarding world would think about him if they could see him right now. Since the Dursleys had left in the morning, Harry didn't even bother changing out of his pajamas—consisting of old shorts of Dudley's he had shrunk down to fit his skinny frame and a Hogwarts T-shirt he found at Hogsmeade—despite the fact that it was six o'clock in the evening. He hadn't even bothered doing anything to his hair so it was messier than normal. Anyone could see the dark stubble poking around his chin and neck since he hadn't shaved since the day before. And to top it off, he had his plates from earlier in the day on the floor in front of the couch, where for some crazy reason he had decided to lie sprawled out across. He had no idea why he even left his sanctuary of a room, but he thought he might as well watch TV since he probably wouldn't again after the summer ended.

First he watched the news programs, but nothing seemed to be happening that really caught his attention. Then he looked at the guide and flipped through channels until he found a station playing this cool movie called The Nightmare Before Christmas. He had never seen anything like it since it was in clay animation and the songs were very catchy and creepy. It was definitely at the top of his favorite movies, but that wasn't saying much since the only other movie he had ever seen was some stupid movie Dudley wanted to watch for his tenth birthday.

Then he flipped on BBC 2 and watched some episodes of Red Dwarf, a very funny show he remembered seeing bits of as a child. Now it was even funnier since he could understand the adult humor.

Sadly, they played a few episodes then started showing something else. All the channels seemed to have nothing interesting on at all and it was bothering him. Reluctantly he turned on a movie channel that seemed to be doing a movie-musical marathon for the day. That is how the Savior of the Wizarding world found himself watching The Pajama Game…which was ironic, actually.

Harry used to think that life at Privet Drive would be much better if it didn't include the Dursleys. Now he realized it just bored the crap out of him.

The Pajama Game was coming to an end when the doorbell rang. Harry sprung to the door, hoping to see "Rose Figg" coming in to check that the house was still in one piece. He was surprised to be greeted by not only "Rose" but Lupin, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny.

"Wait…What?" Harry asked. He gaped as they came in and dropped their things by the staircase. "Why are you…what is this…WHAT?" Harry was much to tired after not using his brain all day to comprehend what was going on. Harry followed them into the kitchen and took a butter beer that Tonks offered. "I'm not dreaming, am I?"

Tonks laughed and explained the idea ("Thank God!"). When she finished, Hermione interjected about her cousin getting into Hogwarts ("Wow, another Hermione running around? I don't think Hogwarts can take that."). And when Harry thought he would burst from information, Ginny informed him about Ron and Hermione finally getting together. Ron and Hermione blushed a bit at this information being given.

"Finally! I thought you two would never snog each other and get it over with!" Harry exclaimed with relief, "I mean, you try overhearing your friends almost get together and then one of them goes and makes out with Lavender Brown. Really!"

"I'm assuming that Ron was the one who did that or else I don't think we would be having this conversation." Lupin said with a wry smile.

"Well," Ron said, "I won't make a dirty joke out of that. Guess what, Harry? Apparently the whole school thinks we're gay lovers."

Harry choked on his drink and Lupin had to hit him on the back while he laughed heartily along with Tonks. After Ron stopped laughing from Harry's near-death choke, he told the story about the twin thing and how that evolved to the gay lover thing with help from Ginny and Hermione about remembering all the points.

Lupin smiled wide and said, "Do you have to have every reputation that your father had, Harry?" All the teenagers looked up at him, startled. "James and Sirius were rumored to be lovers as well. They were related on some very distant level but they never talked because James' family was almost as big of blood traitors as the Weasleys," Lupin said, smiling apologetically at Ginny and Ron. "When we met on the Hogwarts Express it was quite an instant connection. Then we had to drag Peter along since he couldn't find other friends." Lupin said with a grim look on his face.

"Anyways, we were so close and so quickly, everyone thought that all of us were part of some gay orgy deal in the Gryffindor Tower." Ron and Harry looked really disgusted, but Lupin continued, "In fact, James dated some slut named Vicki before Lily would go out with him. That was entertaining because she thought every minute she wasn't making out with James and trying to go farther was wasteful."

"I think we all know someone like that," Harry said, thinking of Lavender.

"But for some reason she thought she was underappreciated."

"Déjà vu!" Ginny exclaimed with laughter.

"She probably thought that just because your father wouldn't go as far as she wanted to because he was in love with Lily. Anyway, when they broke up, she told him that she just went out with him for a bet to see if the Marauders really were gay."

"Let me guess," Harry said, "she told the whole school that you guys were, didn't she?"

"Yep," Lupin said, taking a big gulp of his butter beer. "That stopped after we all got girlfriends. Yes, even Peter managed to get one," he responded before Harry could open his mouth. "But between James dating a new girl every five minutes while he waited for Lily to declare his undying passion, Lily did go out with an actual gay guy. She tried to make him jealous and that backfired and he admitted to her that he was gay. Of course, all the guys knew that since it seemed so obvious, but almost all the girls followed him around with the gay male population since they were clueless about his sexuality."

"I've decided," Harry said, "that people are idiots."

"Here, here!" Tonks said with enthusiasm, clunking her glass with Harry's.

"No doubt about it!" Ginny said, locking eyes with Harry as she clunked glasses.

Harry looked down at his lap. Of course he wanted to be with Ginny and she knew that. He knew that Ginny understood but was upset by the whole thing. It made him even angrier at Voldemort and the Death Eaters that he couldn't be with Ginny as much as he wanted to. Even so, he couldn't help but think about the advice Tonks gave him about life being too short, because no one, including Lupin, would want him to go through that like Lupin did.

Lupin! Harry thought, I'm such an idiot! I'll ask Lupin for advice. He'd understand the most, and he's the closest thing to a parent since Sirius died.

His thoughts were interrupted by Tonks asking, "Hey, Remus, what was that bet you were talking about that you made with Sirius and James before Harry was born?"

Harry, who always loved hearing about his parents and their friends, perked up at this question. "What bet?"

Lupin smiled and took a sip of butter beer before speaking.

"Well, James, Sirius, and I were out having a drink to celebrate Lily being pregnant. Somehow the topic turned to sex…imagine that, sex and pregnancy coming up in the same conversation…" he chuckled with the others and carried on, "And we all said when we lost our virginity since we were still very young at this point, so this was always on our mind. I don't remember how the bet started since I was very drunk at the time…But sometime in our drunken stupor we had a bet for if you turned out to be a boy. See, in the double standard of parenting, if you were a girl, James would make sure that this didn't happen until you married. But if you were a boy, which, well, you are, the bet would go on strong.

"So, if you haven't guessed already, the bet was on what age you would lose your virginity."

For the second time that night, Harry was hit on the back by Remus as he almost died again. Ron was roaring with laughter while Tonks grinned and chuckled. Hermione and Ginny were laughing a bit, mainly at Harry making a fool of himself for a second time that night.

Harry recovered with a grin. "Okay then. How studley did you guys think I would be? What were the bets placed at?"

The former professor smiled at the memory. "We all based it off our own age and the morals and ethics we thought James would teach you. So basically we based it off our own age when we lost it.

"Sirius hoped you would…what were his words…ah yes, 'learn the real ladies charm and not just the begging you did on Evans, James,' at which point James hit him on the head and told him to just place the bet. So Sirius thought he would bet that you it would happen on the average age, sixteen."

Well, I've let Sirius down, he thought with a half smile.

"Then I said that hopefully Lily would instill some manners on you even if James didn't. I bet that it wouldn't be until you married or possibly before but to the person you would end up marrying. That was the case with James."

Harry started to realize how uncomfortable it was in there. He wouldn't mind it if Ginny and Hermione and Tonks weren't in there. Sadly, they were listening intently with smiles on their face.

"James yelled at me for stealing what he wanted to bet on, so he chose the age he lost his at, seventeen."

Harry was at a loss for words. This had to be the weirdest thing ever. So, to break the silence, he said that. "That has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had with an adult."

The table sniggered and they all did their "cheers". Nothing as interesting as that conversation happened for the rest of the night. Occasionally Hermione or Tonks would tune into the TV, but they mainly talked about the wedding and more comfortable subjects. They ordered a pizza to be delivered and they sat around the table eating, creating a few comfortable silences.

After so more talking and laughter, they decided to turn in. Harry turned off the TV and showed everyone where they would be sleeping. Tonks and Remus shared Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon's room; Hermione and Ginny slept on the twin beds in the guest bedroom; and they managed to pull out the mattress from Dudley's bed so Ron could sleep on it in Harry's room.

The girls and the boys had to share a bathroom for the week, so it got a bit crowded when they were all trying to get ready for bed. Harry figured it was too crowded to shave at that moment so he just brushed his teeth and washed his face, thought his just involved normal soap. Ron and Harry furrowed their brows in amazement at all the lotions and soap and stuff that the girls brought in, but the girls just carried on the tradition that had been going on for millenniums; they just ignored them.

Hermione took out her contacts and looked Harry in the eye. "Please tell me you are shaving that thing off your chin tomorrow."

Harry grinned, "What, you don't like my scruffy look?" Hermione smiled a bit but then remembered to put on her mean face. "Yes, I am, don't worry."

Tonks and Remus bade the good night and closed the door to the master bedroom. The teenagers left the bathroom and stood in the hall. Hermione hugged Harry and then, before Ron could get that jealous look on his face, she hugged him and gave him a kiss on the lips. "Night boys," before the boys said good night back.

"Good night, Harry," Ginny said, giving him a hug. Harry used a lot of effort so his body wouldn't act on its own. Harry mumbled good night as Ginny turned to her brother, "Good night, Ronnekins," and hugged him, though he struggled for a moment. Must be some sibling thing, Harry thought. Ron told her good night and she walked down the hall into the guest room.

"Cousins, gay lovers, and twins, Oh my!" Hermione said loud enough for everyone to hear.

"What?"

Harry just smiled as Hermione and Ginny walked into their room and he and Ron went into his.

"The Wizard of Oz was on tonight."

—

Yeah, I don't think this is that good, but I hope you like it! I did work hard, seeing as it is now 3:32 AM.

Night-Night. Sleep tight; don't let the bed bugs bite.

R&R