A/N: Last post didn't go over so well, I guess, seeing as reviews have been down, and I'm not too proud of it myself. Hopefully, I redeem myself here. I'm sorry if it feels rushed now, but there's so much I want to do with this, I don't want it to be one filler after another. And I apologize for my grammatical errors even more now, seeing as my Beta is going to be out of town and without a computer for a couple of weeks now. Here's to hoping this one is more liked. As always, let me know if you're reading. Thanks.
It was late the next morning when she finally stepped out onto the upper deck of the Flying Dutchman, letting the sights and sounds of the sea greet her in full force, and seeing the sun so high above her already, she regretted having slept as long as she did. Being aboard a pirate ship in her current state of mind and having to hide her own secret had been the biggest challenge Elizabeth had faced, and many sleepless nights were a direct result of those conditions. Jack and Captain Barbossa hadn't treated her like one of the crew on this voyage, something she had begged of them more than a decade ago, but she would be forever grateful for their behavior towards her. They realized that she was no longer the same Elizabeth she had been at that time, so they hadn't expected her to act in the same manner the Elizabeth Swann who had not witnessed the death of her love had. Nevertheless, on this particular morning, she had committed the opposite crime and overslept instead of not sleeping at all, and it turned out to be a similar predicament.
As she searched the now crowded surface of the ship for a familiar face, a small smile graced her lips as she thought back to the night before. Despite the tears she had shed in the privacy of Will's quarters and the burden of her secret that she had unwillingly thrust upon him, the thrill of surprising him with her presence was one she would not soon forget. Finally sharing with someone the fact that she was with child was another moment that she would hold close to her like a beloved childhood toy once she would have to depart from Will's company once again. Because she knew now despite how her nightmares ceased when she slept in his arms or the little comfort that she was provided with when she knew he was on the same vessel as herself, her plan had contained an error that she herself and overlooked, and they would once again be forced to part ways.
Her eyes finally landed on the familiar broad-shouldered figure standing on the opposite end of the ship, staring out at the depths of the ocean and the horizon just beyond view, and she quietly made her way to where he was standing. She took in the far away look in his glazed-over eyes, the pure white color of his knuckles as he clamped down on the railing of the ship as if for dear life, and she was forced to look quickly in the other direction for fear that he would see her tears spill over onto her cheeks. She kept her gaze firmly aimed in the other direction as she spoke, her voice soft and too thin, as if it was being carried far away on the breeze before it even reached his ears. "I regret so much about that year of my life… I hate living with the knowledge that if I had just confronted you, we wouldn't have lost so much time that could have been spent together. We would have been married long before that day, and maybe then I would not feel like we have missed out on so much."
"But that's no way to live, Elizabeth. You cannot dwell on the past when there is no way to change it." His voice was filled with a sureness, a sense of security, that betrayed the shock she was sure she would have caused him by having so suddenly appeared at his side. But when she met his light brown eyes straight on, she knew immediately that he had sensed her there beside him long before she spoke aloud. He placed his hands firmly at her waist as he stepped closer, and she could feel her throat tighten as it always did right before her eyes welled with tears. His eyes never strayed from hers as he spoke, not even as the other members of the ship moved about them in a flurry of activity, and it reminded her of their wedding ceremony. The world they had always known was falling apart all around them, yet he looked at her as if she was the only person there with him at all, a feeling that she too had felt so surely in her heart. "We can both find faults in our own actions that led to us not speaking to one another, but regretting that we chose to act that way won't give us a chance to act differently."
She gave a small nod as she ducked her head, looking down to his feet, meeting the familiar black leather of his boots, boots she had worn time and time again. Not even a full minute passed though before she felt his soft finger beneath her chin acting as a lever to force her to look in his direction. He offered her a small smile, one that didn't hide the pain and despair he was experiencing right below the surface. When she spoke to him again, ever so gently, her voice was a whisper as she feared that speaking any louder would reduce her to tears again. "What happens when you cannot change your future as well?"
The tone of her voice held the melancholy both of them were finding harder and harder to suppress, and this time he had no response for her. There were no words of comfort he could offer her to soften the blow that was their future, or the way it appeared from where they were standing right now. He didn't hesitate at all before pulling her into his arms and letting her press the side of her face tightly against the worn cotton of his blue shirt, marveling once again for only a moment at how perfectly her body fit against his own, as if they had been made for each other, to fit as if they were interlocking gears, made to form a single unit. Pressing light kisses on the top of her head which had been warmed by the midday sun, he closed his own eyes as he willed himself not to break down in the manner that his body ached to, knowing that tears of his own would only cause her to shed more.
When she finally gazed back up at him, her big brown irises held that same question for him, and he had to look much too far to find a remnant of the brave, strong, carefree woman she had once been. Recalling a memory from that era of their lives together proved to be an even more difficult task, something that didn't pass by him. He watched the way her lips moved but no sound came out, and he felt as if he could see the many questions that were running through her mind at that time, along with her frustration that came with not knowing which one to speak aloud first. Any question that was asked of him or of her would be one that would go unanswered, any answer too tragic, too disheartening to speak aloud. He did not wait for her to finally say something else, an answer to her own question or another one for him to supply a response. Instead, he pressed his lips firmly against her own, his hand falling to rest at her abdomen, his thumb caressing it softly through the thick fabric of her skirt, reminding them each of the tiny life she was now carrying, and Elizabeth was forced to choke back a sob.
In the moments that followed, she wouldn't be sure if it was the soft hand he had laid at her waist with no warning, the tears she was trying so hard to ward off before they fell in narrow streams down her porcelain cheeks, or the sound of another member of the crew, a third person, clearing his throat that caused her to pull back, but when she was met with the soft, worn eyes of Bill Turner, she felt her cheeks turn a fair shade of crimson and her voice catch in her throat. The elderly man offered up a sheepish and apologetic smile as if it might make up for the moment he had just brought to an end, but she was relieved when it was he who spoke first, not waiting for an explanation for her presence on the ship from either herself or Will. "Elizabeth, my dear, it is very good to see you."
Elizabeth offered a friendly smile in return despite the way her heart raced beneath her ribcage, and she turned ever so slightly in Will's arms so his hand rested at her side instead of her abdomen, not entirely sure that anybody else should have reason to know the secret of the child they had conceived just yet. "As it is to see you, Mr. Turner." She relaxed a little in his embrace as she felt the way Will's hand that rested on her hip tightened a small amount, the tiny gesture letting her know that he was overwhelmed with the same uncomfortable feeling caused by the situation they were now in. She moved her hand to the one that hung limp at his side, lacing her fingers through his and giving it a gentle squeeze as if to let him know she was there for him, more so than the physical sense that was quite obvious.
The hearty laugh the older Turner gave seemed to warm her heart in the smallest manner and he gave a wave of his hands as if her words were like a mosquito that one could shoo away with this one gesture. "I do not know if I would say that. I seem to be a sore sight for eyes as beautiful as your own these days." His kind words caused her cheeks to flush with that same vibrant pink color, standing out against the pale, languid color her skin had taken on from staying locked in her bedchambers, away from the world for so long. Bill took a step closer to the pair, and instinctively she went to take a step back, only to find Will's foot already there. Before she could apologize for her action, try to come up with a reason as to why she would fear the man in front of her, the one that had been willing to stay aboard a ship in the command of such a monster for her happiness, he was speaking again. His voice was soft and steady, but it was quiet all the same, and Elizabeth was grateful that he realized her being aboard the ship was meant to be a secret. "I must ask, my dear child, why you are here in my presence. Why would one who loved life as much as yourself want to be a part of the crew of the Flying Dutchman?"
The reason for her stay on the ship was an easy explanation, starting with the discovery of her pregnancy and ending with her arrival on the ship with the help of Jack and Captain Barbossa, but when faced with the bluntness of his interrogation, it did not seem so simple. She opened her mouth to start the lamentable story that led to this moment in time now, but no words came out, no words felt right as they stayed on the tip of her tongue. Instead, she looked back into Will's familiar eyes, not surprised to find him already gazing lovingly down at her, nor to find the comfort that she needed in that one glance. It was he who tightened the gri p on her hand this time, bending his head down to leave a feather-light kiss on the nape of her neck, right below her earlobe, and whisper softly in her ear. "You should return to my quarters. I will talk to my father."
She spun around to face him as she heard his words, her shock displayed plainly across her features, but he only nodded as if to enforce what he had just said, and she had no choice but to comply. She left a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth before plastering on a weak smile and retreating down the stairs that led to the many rooms below the deck. Will watched her figure disappear, his eyes lingering on the space she had just left much longer than was necessary, and his eyes stayed on that same spot in the distance to the left of his father when he finally spoke aloud. "I know what this must look like to you, but I was not the one to make Elizabeth come here. I did not know she was planning to come to me until last night."
"And how do I know that what you tell me is the truth?" Bill moved to the side of the ship, gazing down at the depths of the clear blue sea instead of his son's face, not wanting to see the disappointment that flashed across his face when he admitted his skepticism. "I want to trust you, William, I really do, but I also know what you were planning. And you also know..."
"That this ship is no place for her, but she came to me. How could I just turn her away in the middle of the night, especially when…" Will's voice, now thick with emotion, trailed off as he sighed softly to himself, turning around to place his hands on the railing of the ship and support his weight now that his knees buckled under him. His eyes stayed glued to a spot above the horizon, a focal point to keep him from falling to his knees. He wondered for a moment what Elizabeth would think if he told his father now of the many secrets they were both harboring: the baby, the plan, Jack. Before he had a chance to even consider the consequences of his actions, he found himself speaking aloud the one small detail he had learned the night before that now occupied all of his thoughts. "Elizabeth's pregnant."
He could feel his father's cool gaze fall on him, but he did not turn to look. He could sense the shock, evident in even the air around him in those few short seconds, but he did not acknowledge that he knew of his father's reaction. Will simply cleared his throat and held his gaze steady on the horizon as he fought to keep his voice just as even. "I don't know how long she has known for, but it has been a while. She listened to Jack when he spoke with her, but she did not concede with his request. But… knowing that she was with child changed her view on the situation, and she enlisted his help, along with Captain Barbossa's to come here. She was going to ask you to take over as captain, and I would accompany the crew of the Black Pearl to the Fountain of Youth where the immortal who guards it would restore my own mortality, but her plan was faulty." Turning back around, Will pressed his back against the railing as his gaze fell to rest on two crew members a few feet away who were fighting over a small golden object, more for a distraction than because either of the two truly cared for the tiny possession. His voice was barely a whisper when he finally voiced his thoughts aloud, still not able to meet his father's eyes. "There's no one to take my place."
Bill Turner's eyes grew wide as he turned away from the water below to look back at his son, studying something farther off, but as he shook his head, Will finally turned to look his way. "That's not true, William. I can take your place. I can save you, just like you saved me." His son went to protest, to tell him that it was not necessary or fair or a combination of the two, but Bill raised a hand and Will pressed his lips together in a tight line. "What do I have to go back to, besides yourself and Elizabeth, and this family that you will be starting together? I've been at sea for so long now, I have no desire to return to the land. And I truly am already dead, there is no return one day for me. I know I always told you not to lose hope, but for me, there is no hope left to be found. But you have Elizabeth, you're going to have a child, William. Now, tell me. Is there anything that you wouldn't do for that child of yours already?"
Will ducked his head, his eyes falling to rest on the smooth black leather of his boot, another constant reminder of Elizabeth who was just below the deck and waiting for his return. And hadn't he picked Elizabeth before his death, when he had married her aboard the Black Pearl? But was it fair to have his father meet this fate, force him to take his place on the ship? It was a question he could not answer because a decision would mean hurting someone he loved, but his father had already made that decision for him. Clamping a strong, weathered hand on his shoulder, Bill Turner met his son's gaze with one that expressed the feelings that he felt towards him, the same ones a warm embrace would convey to him. "You don't have to answer that question because I know your answer would be yes. I am your father, you are my son, and I would do anything to make you happy, no matter what the consequences."
The older man squeezed his son's shoulder just slightly before moving past again, calling out an order and then pulling that same golden object away from the two fighting pirates before reprimanding them. But Will Turner remained at the edge of the ship, watching the scene in front of him and trying his hardest to picture it without himself there. Then, he tried to picture himself in that same mansion alongside Elizabeth, a small infant in her arms, both of them happy and finally at peace. Their plan was risky, he knew that. There were numerous opportunities for things to go terribly wrong, for things to become worse than they already were. But he had already decided his future, and there was no going back, no matter how immense this newfound fear was. He belonged with his family. He belonged with Elizabeth.