And That's What it's All About

Title: And That's What it's All About

Chapter: If I Could Only See Her Face

Rating: K – Just talk of death and mentions of war. Since I saw kids younger than the younglings in the last film, well… I'm certain anyone can read this.

Genre: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Star Wars crossover. Once a drabble, it has now apparently exploded. Oh my gosh, I think this is a plot!

Summary: One Jedi can see her. The other just thinks his former Padawan is acting psychotic. Buffy just thinks the whole Powers That Be are screwing her over again.

Disclaimer: I own neither genre. Joss Whedon owns Buffy the Vampire Slayer. George Lucas owns the Star Wars franchise. I'm just a poor post-college graduate working in a dangerous field. I just have my radar.

Spoilers: There are minor spoilers from both stories, especially Star Wars.

Timeline: This takes place over the after 'The Gift'. In Star Wars verse, it's set between films two and three.

Dedication: This is still for Grace, who has been my friend and beta for three years now. This is also for those of you who appreciate the story.

Notes: Yeah, Buffy's glowing compatriot is Qui-Gon Jinn. After his rather abrupt mentioning in the film, I figured he deserved better. The novel did it much, much better. He was one of the two reasons I continued this. It should be noted that there is a lot of dialogue in this chapter. It took too long to do it the other way. I know I have a zillion other things I could be writing. But this comes almost naturally. I will get other projects done, I promise.

x-o-x

If I Could Only See Her Face

"Where?"

"Where, Master?"

Where?

"What are you going on about, Anakin?" Obi-Wan asked, his soft expression of puzzlement turning into a rather bemused smirk as he stared at some point to my left.

"She… she's standing right there!" Anakin cried, pointing at me. Obi-Wan seemed to look where he was pointing and his bemused look intensified.

"He obviously can't see me," I decided to speak, turning to glare at Anakin. His eyes darkened as he saw that I actually understood him. Well, I may be a blonde, but at least I'm not completely mental. "I guess you're it."

"It was not by choice," he replied, folding his arms. Obi-Wan's expression of bemusement seemed to melt because he was watching his former Padawan talk to thin air. I couldn't blame him a bit. "Who are you?"

"Who are you?" I was being a smartass. I couldn't help it. How many days had I been here without a proper explanation? How many days had I been standing here without a change of my clothes or a shower with which to wash all this Jedi stench off?

"Anakin Skywalker," he replied, a defensive tone to his voice.

I snorted derisively, folding my arms to mimic his pose. "All right, Anakin… can you tell me why I'm here?"

"You… you don't know?"

"Sure don't."

"Anakin, what is this?"

"It's okay, Anakin. He can't see me."

"But… wait, Master," Anakin said, holding a hand out to Obi-Wan to stop him from asking any more stupid questions. He turned back to face me. "Who are you?"

"Dead, obviously. Couldn't you tell that yourself?" I could tell my answers were frustrating him because he stomped his foot down and started prancing a bit. What a pony.

"Can you understand me?"

"The way I see it, you don't have horns growing out of your ears. You're not blue in color. You don't waddle unless there is some part of you I haven't seen yet…" My eyes slid over to Obi-Wan and my smirk widened. "Unlike some people…"

"Master…"

"Oh, don't tell him!" I snapped, quickly jumping between him and Obi-Wan. "You're no fun."

"You call this fun?" he asked weakly. "What exactly are you doing here?"

Okay. I'm about at my own wit's end here. It was time to blow up… Buffy-style. "Why don't you tell me?" I replied quietly. "I opened my eyes and suddenly I was in your Council room. What kind of Council do you morons have anyway? All talk and no action? At least my Council bossed me around, giving me orders until I fired their sorry butts. Next thing I know, I'm standing in the middle of a chair. Then my butt's hanging out the window. And then Obi-Wan over here decides to play curious and walks right through me. Do you know how many people have been walking through me?"

"I…" Words utterly failed him. He hadn't heard a good, long rant in a long time, obviously.

"Fifty six… counting you four times. Four times! How can you walk through someone four times and not realize they're not there? Do I look like a wall to you?"

"Anakin, who are you talking to?"

"Sorry, Master… but the who is a she and I think she is rather testy."

"You're damned right I'm testy!" I shouted, stomping my foot through the floor. "All this time the only person who knows I'm here is Yoda and he won't do a damn thing about it! All he says is that I belong to him! The fate of me, the person who gave her life for her stupid world is resting on a Jedi that doesn't even know I exist!"

Anakin's fear must have shown in his face because Obi-Wan stepped closer to him. "What does she look like?"

"She's… human. I'm not sensing any deception from her."

"Well, duh! Do I look like a Yoda to you? Do I look green or do I have horns growing out of the top of my head?"

Anakin's eyebrows lifted slightly and he frowned before looking down. "What do you mean about the other part?"

"The part where I belong to him?"

"Yes, that part." Obi-Wan stared hard at his former Padawan.

"He found something on the floor of the chamber. He took it to Yoda. Yoda told him that the something belongs to him. He also told him that I belong to him. Do you know what I am?"

"Not remotely."

"Anakin…"

"Not now, Master."

"Why do you keep doing that?"

"Doing what?" Anakin was starting to look as grumpy as Obi-Wan, who was looking pretty putout about being told to shut up. Well, if he could have heard me, I would have made it obvious to him. Too bad I didn't have use of my left hook now. They both would have gotten some.

"Calling him Master."

"He is my Master and mentor. I was once his student."

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me…"

"What is your name?"

"Why do you ask? I'm just a ghost. Why don't you call me that? Call me Ghost."

"Because you are not a ghost."

"Oh yeah?" I walked forward. Anakin tensed slightly as he stood there, but my hand went harmlessly through his face and his chest. "Do I look like I can harm you?"

"Your words are sharp."

"That's the least of your problems."

"Anakin…"

"Master…" Anakin slowly turned to Obi-Wan. "She said you found something… something in the Council chambers. You took it to Master Yoda and he said that whatever it was belonged to you. He also said that whatever went with it belongs to you. This… this woman belongs to you."

Oh, way to go junior. He's going to trust you now.

"I… Anakin, I can't see her face. If I could only see her face, I would be able to—"

"And you would be able to do what?" I asked him curiously. I knew he couldn't hear me. But that look on Anakin's face was priceless. "All you can do is insult me to my face and I hate to say it, but I'm above that."

"Please, stop talking."

"I can't do anything else," I said, turning to Anakin with a pout. "I mean, I can walk through you, that column over there, the windows… but then I'd be forced back. You see… I can't go anywhere he doesn't go."

There was a sudden flash of understanding in Anakin's eyes as he turned back to Obi-Wan, dragging the man backwards. "Obi-Wan…"

"Anakin, you look like you're talking to thin air," Obi-Wan hissed into his shoulder. "If you are talking to someone…"

"I'm talking to her," Anakin replied in a low voice. "And what she said is making sense. You picked up something and Yoda said it belonged to you."

"I picked up a cross, but I… oh…"

"Now do you understand?"

Obi-Wan peered curiously at the sunlit corridor over Anakin's shoulder. "I still can't see her. What does she look like?"

"She's human," Anakin replied softly. "She looks like a child."

"I can still hear you!"

Anakin closed his eyes. "She speaks too much."

"I'm standing right here!"

Anakin shook his head slightly. "Just be glad you can't see—"

"Hey!" He turned as I appeared, my hand jabbing through his chest. "If you're going to insult me, do it to my face."

"It isn't like you can do anything to us," Anakin frowned.

"No, but I can do a few other things. Like talk a lot."

"Obi-Wan…"

"He can't hear me. Only you can. I'm like your Angel in the Jedi temple. No one can see me or hear me but you… and Yoda, for some odd reason. You're just going to have to tell him that I'm a glowing ghost."

"Is she speaking again?"

"Yes, Master."

"Well… what is she saying?"

"She says she is a ghost."

"That much is obvious."

"If you want specifics, I'm part of the so-called Living Force."

"Really?"

I turned to look at Anakin, who was looking at me. Obi-Wan was looking at Anakin.

Well, if this wasn't a good staring contest.

"She says she's part of the Living Force."

"Is she a Jedi?"

Anakin looked at me. I shook my head. Anakin did the same.

Follow the leader.

"Did she say what she was?"

"Tell him he doesn't want to know."

"Master, you don't want to know."

"See," Obi-Wan said slowly, "that's the sort of thing that could arouse suspicion."

"This comes from cranky constipated guy."

Anakin looked at me with widening eyes.

"Oh, did I say that out loud?"

He nodded slightly before frowning at my innocent expression.

I sighed dramatically. "You don't want to know where I came from. Just believe me when I say that what I did I did for love. I saved my world and suddenly woke up here. I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask for any of this."

"I… I know," Anakin said quietly.

"I just need to know why I'm here."

"We'll find out," Anakin replied. "If it's one thing we do well, it's find things we need to."

"Thank you."

"Anakin…"

"I just told her we'd help her find out why she's here."

"She doesn't know?"

"No, Master, she doesn't know."

"If I were her, I'd be a little testy."

"You think?"

"You're not helping," Anakin said, turning his face towards me and lifting up his hand. As he turned back to Obi-Wan, I began waving my hand through his. After a moment, he turned to me. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to hit you, but it isn't working."

"Why would you wish to do that?"

"Because I'm annoyed!"

"Master, I think we should—"

"No, you can't. Because wherever he goes, I have to go. Don't try and walk away from me because if you do, I'll follow you."

Anakin looked startled for a moment. A second later, his lips quivered. A few seconds after that, he burst out laughing.

"What?" Two voices at once. I stared at Obi-Wan. He was staring at Anakin. Following the leader.

Anakin just shook his head and began to back away. "Perhaps you should take this up with Yoda."

"I intend to." Obi-Wan was sounding amused again.

I just stomped my foot through the floor again as Anakin walked off, laughing his head off. Obi-Wan just glanced in my direction and started going in the other. I really had no choice but to follow. I could save my tantrum for a rainy day… if it ever rained on Coruscant, that is.

He wasn't so cute anymore. He was just an annoying kid who happened to have nice eyes and a rather deep, mysterious voice. Nothing alluring about that… right…

Several hours later, Obi-Wan was standing in front of Yoda. I was standing slightly behind him. Neither one of us were smiling.

"Come, why have you?" Yoda asked patiently, glancing up at Obi-Wan with his endearing look.

"Anakin…" He paused, cleared this throat and tried again. "Anakin said that he could see someone… a ghost, if such a thing exists."

"Oh, but I do exist," I whispered.

"He said that she somehow belonged to me."

"Belongs to you, she does."

"Master Yoda?"

Again with the Master thing. I was starting to get visions of leather-clad dominatrix Jedi running around with whips. Let's see if I can't get that out of my head while I'm at it.

"I told you so."

"Her presence unusual it is not."

I suddenly loved the little green guy.

"But why is she here Master? Why is she, well, mine?"

"Did you not take the cross?"

"I did…" Obi-Wan frowned thoughtfully as he regarded Yoda. "But she… she belongs to it?"

"To her, it belongs."

"And I would really like it back."

"Hear you, he cannot."

"That's because he's a man… just like talking to a brick wall and here's the obvious proof."

"Amusing this is not."

"Master Yoda, you can see her too?"

"See her, I can. Speak with her I can. Accept her you must before you speak."

"See you in ten years," I muttered under my breath. I was really tempted to call in the other glowing guy and start yelling at him again. It was far better than watching Obi-Wan standing there and playing dumb.

"Very well, Master. I will try."

"Do, or do not," Yoda said in his cryptic voice, his ears fluttering back as he lifted his clear gaze to stare at me. "There is no try."

I'll definitely keep that one in mind, I thought.

Obi-Wan bowed his head and walked out of the war room. Again, I looked around and saw the large table with hunched over Jedi just begging for arthritis. At least as a ghost I wouldn't have to worry about that.

"Have patience, young Slayer, you must."

"You know what?" I asked, half-turning to face Yoda who was stumping towards me on his little walking stick. "I've been here three days. I'm still wearing the clothes I wore when I dove off that platform. I haven't had a shower in three days. My hair, if it existed, would feel like wire right now. I died to save my sister and the world and this is the thanks I get? I'd rather be in Hell."

Yoda's ears drooped a bit as he glanced down. His tone was almost sad. "You will see," he said in that mysterious croak of him. "You will see."

I wasn't sure exactly what I would see, but I didn't have a choice. My feet were moving against their will again and I dropped all resistance, floating backwards through the door as Obi-Wan hastened somewhere fantastic that I was sure to follow. Touching my head, I longed to feel my hair again. I longed to feel anything again. I couldn't feel anything. Oh, sure, I felt annoyed. But I wanted to feel something other than these crazy emotions that were just jumping out at me. I wanted to feel the cold floor or the warmth of the sun. I wanted to feel alive again.

Instead, I feel lost. I am so lost.

Darkness has fallen over Coruscant now. It looks even more like a video game outside with little lights zooming in all directions. The sound of a fantastic night life sounded in the distance. I wanted to get out and do something, but I was held back.

I resented being held back.

Obi-Wan was in his quarters now. The most fascinating thing in this room was the fact there was a bed and something that looked like a beanbag chair. I just sat on his chair, watching as he meditated at first. Later he moved to his bed to sleep. I just watched as he laid on the cot, deep in thought.

After about an hour, I was bored.

I stood up and walked over, sitting on the edge of the bed. He looked so peaceful when he slept. He was much more pleasant when he wasn't awake. I'd had three days to figure that out. I reached down to touch his face. "Why can't you see me?" I whispered. "Why?"

He stirred under my touch. I pulled my hand away and stared at his face. "You can feel me though, can't you?"

He stirred again as I passed my hand through his head. I was about to do it again when his eyes opened, blinked twice and he stared straight at me. "What do you want?"

"You know I'm here."

"I know you're there."

"I've been here," I insisted, reaching down to touch him again. His hand passed through mine as he reached for his head. And then his eyes narrowed. "Please, please… do something. Tell me something. Tell me a story. I need you to know that I exist. See me for yourself. Please?"

"Whatever you want…"

"I want to exist to you. I wish I could exist to you." I arched one eyebrow and looked around. "Well, it was worth a shot."

He just sighed and rested his head back on his pillows, his arms curling behind his neck as he blinked up at the ceiling. I moved so that I was perched on top of him. Maybe he could feel this. I could sense his body stirring beneath me. I couldn't feel anything other than the discomfort of my body going through his. Okay, those were naughty thoughts. But after three days of no sleep and hardly any contact, my thoughts seemed to go to the gutter far faster than they had before.

"I know you're there and can likely hear me."

"That much is true," I muttered.

I heard a voice in the back of my head. Trust him. Take a chance, he will not disappoint you.

You're about two days too late for that, buddy.

"I'm not going to hurt you," I said, lifting my hand again. "But I'm going to try something." Leaning down, I felt my body pass through his. I could feel the material of his bedding passing through my non-corporeal self as I whispered in his ear, "I'm here now."

He jumped slightly, my body falling completely through the bed.

"Where?"

"What?" I asked, my voice muffled by the fact I was the entire way through a mattress. I pushed myself back up through his body to rest on top of him. He was staring straight at me now.

"Hello, there."

"Hi."

He just smiled and glanced up again. So he was guessing. Stupid men. They could never read minds very well. I just rested my elbows on his stomach and blinked at him nonchalantly. I had to trust him, right? He was a pretty decent Jedi from what I'd seen. Definitely not a disappointment.

A hand suddenly came and passed through my face. Blinking, I glanced up and saw him leaning forward, frowning slightly. "Why are you on top of me?"

"Because of all the things in this room, you are definitely the most exciting."

"Really?"

"Really…" Then it hit me. "You can hear me? You can see me?"

"I can hear you and likely that means I would be able to see you, no?"

I felt like crying with relief. "How?"

"I just listened to what Master Yoda said."

But he wouldn't listen to a woman. Typical. And yet I felt like hugging him.

He didn't even know my name.

"How long have you been here?" he asked, tilting his head as he regarded me. I straightened up so I wasn't straddling him anymore. Thank you very much for those thoughts.

"I've been here a few days now, ever since you picked up my cross." I pointed to the cross that sat with the weird handle thing on a low table nearby. "Since then, I haven't been able to do anything but follow you. See that doorway? That's how close I am to you. If you jump, I jump. It's really not a fun way to live." But then I felt my old familiar grin tugging at my lips. "But I am so, so happy to know that you can see me."

But his eyes had clouded over in concern. "Exactly how much have you seen?" he asked, his mind absorbing my words.

My grin brightened. His eyes widened as he glanced down at himself safely tucked underneath the covers. Or so he thought. "Oh, dear."

x-o-x

You readers are the best! I just had to say that now, because well, you know… it's encouraging.

Comments, suggestions, flaming arrows… yep. I want them. Please.