And That's What it's All About

Title: And That's What it's All About

Chapter: That's the Guy!

Rating: K – Just talk of death and mentions of war. Since I saw kids younger than the younglings in the last film watching said film, well… I'm certain anyone can read this.

Genre: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Star Wars exploding drabble-turned-crossover.

Summary: Buffy finds out about the war Jedi-style.

Disclaimer: I own neither genre. Joss Whedon owns Buffy the Vampire Slayer. George Lucas owns the Star Wars franchise. I'm just a poor post-college graduate working in a dangerous field. I just have my radar.

Spoilers: There are minor spoilers from both stories, especially Star Wars.

Timeline: This takes place after 'The Gift'. In Star Wars verse, it's set between films two and three.

Dedication: Cripes… for you who are actually enjoying this story… well, have a fifth helping of chaos.

Notes: Just a few quick things… as of now, I have no plans to turn Buffy corporeal again, meaning she will remain a ghost with the Living Force. The reasons for that will become shockingly obvious soon enough. I will continue updating this every week because right now this is the greatest release of all the pent-up sarcasm. As for the future, keep in mind that this is months before the beginning of the third film, so I'm either using what little I have read or else I'm using my writer's license and imagination. This chapter seems to be the precursor of things to come…

Notes II: Things at work just exploded… literally. I've got a large aggravated assault case I'm working on, along with a fatal fire and criminal conduct. Basically the past week has been hell for me. I'm also of the belief that this chapter isn't up to the standards of the others, but without sleep my brain just isn't working right. Hopefully the next chapter will be a little bit, err, clearer.

x-o-x

That's the Guy!

The next morning found more brilliant artificial sunlight streaming through panes of glass. I stood underneath them, marveling the sight of hundreds of transports scurrying too and fro. I had a feeling that no one really took the time to appreciate the technology they had. I know I didn't. Next time I would take that alarm clock seriously. If I had a next time…

There was a Council meeting this morning. Obi-Wan was behind him, conversing quietly with a few other Jedi. I could hear every word they were saying, but there was no way I was going to tell him that. That would lead to uncomfortable questions I wasn't ready to answer yet. I just stood there, staring. Obi-Wan knew I was there. He knew if he moved I would have to follow him. I had already expressed my discomfort at floating through solid objects, especially breathing ones.

Anakin, on the other hand, had veered off into another corridor when he saw Obi-Wan approaching. Apparently he was still afraid of me.

It was kind of weird… he was afraid of me because I could talk. I was sort of curious to figure out how he'd feel if I could ever lift an axe or a troll-sized hammer or something and let loose, Slayer-style. Wouldn't that be something?

"Hello, there."

I turned my head slightly to see Obi-Wan standing slightly behind me. His face wore that familiar grumpy expression. I longed to comment on it, but I knew he'd be able to hear me. "What now?"

"The Council is preparing to meet," he replied unnecessarily.

"I know."

"You know?"

"Well, I was standing right here. And you weren't exactly trying to keep things private."

"I see." His eyes were crinkling again as he gazed at me. I shifted uncomfortably. He couldn't really tell other than he saw a ghostly figure move left and right. I could blame it on the floating thing. "Shall we?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Likely not."

"Lead the way."

He started moving and I trailed behind him. "You know, I'd respond better if you didn't look so pissy."

"I beg your pardon?"

"What's with the frown?"

"I'm thinking."

"Really? To me, it looks like you're trying to—"

"Master Obi-Wan."

I turned and stifled a groan as Anakin suddenly appeared. We were at a crossing corridor and Anakin had just come veering quickly from the left. I noticed that he kept his voice low and looked obviously at Obi-Wan.

"Relax, Anakin," I muttered. "He can see me now."

"You can?" Anakin asked, a little too hopefully. I just smirked at him until the hopeful look fell from his face. "You're teasing me."

"Would I do that?" I asked innocently. At Anakin's slight frown, I added, "Of course I would. I've been doing it since I got here… it's not my fault you decided to listen finally."

His jaw neatly dropped as I turned cheerfully back to Obi-Wan. "So! Meeting with selfless politicians? An oxy-moron if I ever heard one…"

"We should get going," Obi-Wan said smoothly, ever the peacemaker. "Anakin, I will speak with you after the meeting. We have a lot to discuss before we head to Cato Neimoidia." At my puzzled expression, he simply held out his arm and gestured forward.

"Trust me," I muttered as I passed Anakin, who was still looking put out about my comments, "this is one meeting you'll be glad you're missing. All they do is sit there and come up with new ways to say nothing."

As it turned out, I was only partially right.

I just sort of stood behind Obi-Wan's chair as the Council met. Though I wasn't exactly invited I really had no choice. I would have been stuck floating in the wall had I not actually taken the initiative and come forward. Besides, Yoda didn't really object. He didn't really do anything at all except sit there and blink at me quietly for a few seconds before the tall dark-skinned guy on the opposite side called the meeting to order.

It was sort of fascinating. I did see at least four other Jedi hovering above their chairs, apparently broadcasting from a remote location. It was like television of the new age. Instead of talking about doing nothing to incense the Senate, they actually talked about something called the Outer Rim. Obi-Wan had apparently been assigned with Anakin to go to one of the planets on the Outer Rim and search for leaders of some Separatist movement. It was all Greek to me. Sumerian, even. The Jedi with the blue skin said something about a planet that sounded like she sneezed and before I could stop myself I murmured, "Bless you."

Obi-Wan nearly choked into his palm. He couldn't risk gazing over his shoulder at me. He just slowly moved his hand aside and gazed forward.

Before I knew it, the meeting was over. Obi-Wan lingered a moment. I had the feeling he had a lot to say to Yoda. Luckily Yoda too fell behind. "Obi-Wan, something more have you?"

"Yes, Master," he replied, before gesturing behind him. "Her."

"See her, you can?"

"I think it'd be less rude if you didn't refer to me in the third person," I said snidely, leaning up against the back of the chair. Or, rather, I sort of floated into it.

"I apologize," Obi-Wan said gently. "I did not mean to insult you."

"Well, you did," I snapped. "What difference does it make what you see or what you can't see?"

"This does not help us."

"My whining doesn't help you? Oh, isn't that a shock?"

"If you would stop speaking for a moment, I might be able to—"

"If I stop speaking?" I replied, aghast. "How dare you!"

"Obi-Wan," Yoda began, but Obi-Wan neatly interrupted him, turning to frown at me.

"I dare speak because it is you who encroached on the Jedi."

Oh, boy. Ooh. He just said the magic words…

"I encroached on the Jedi?" I asked, too angry to even care that I stormed through yet another solid object. "I didn't do anything here! I died saving my world, no less, and the next thing I know I'm stuck in this place. Do you know how it feels to be the strongest person you know and do something so great, so beautiful that it made you glad you sacrificed everything to save the one person who meant the world to you? And then you lose everything you've ever counted on. I've lost everything in the matter of seconds. And don't you tell me that I earned this because if this is what it's like to be dead, I'd rather have the real deal and not be stuck as a ghost in this place I can't begin to get."

Yoda looked as though he were expecting my rant. He just leaned on his walking stick and sighed. Obi-Wan looked stunned at my outburst but recovered quickly. "You don't know why you're here, do you?"

"It has something to do with him," I replied, glaring at Yoda.

"Wish to speak of this, do you?"

"Of course I don't," I said, suddenly uncomfortable. "But at least we're not yelling anymore."

Yoda gazed at me, a look of total compassion on his face. "Understand your need for reasoning, I do."

"I have a feeling you two met before."

"Wasn't under the best circumstances," I replied evenly, glancing at the other Jedi. "He… he helped me…"

"Part of the Living Force, you are," Yoda interjected my rather embarrassing ramble. I just shook my head. "Doubts of yourself, you may have but trust you, I do."

"Master Yoda?"

Why did he have to sound so surprised?

"Been through much, she has. In time trust her, you will."

Great. Just great. Now he was going to force me to talk to the man I belonged to. For being so advanced, there certainly was an embarrassing bit of caveman-ism going on here.

"What about the mission?"

Yoda glanced down, closing his eyes. We both waited on bated breath. Well, Obi-Wan did. I still couldn't breathe. Instead I kept opening my mouth and then closing it, waiting for the answer I knew was coming. You have no choice but to go, no matter what.

"That's so unfair," I thundered as we left the Council room. Obi-Wan turned around and watched as I walked through the closing doors, his eyebrows rising in surprise.

"What is it now?"

"I have to go on a mission with you? Me? Do you know what I used to be?"

"Unfortunately, you have refused to tell us."

"With good reason, too! I can really trust you, Obi-Wan. Oh, yes. Notice how Yoda wasn't exactly all embracing you with the trust."

Obi-Wan winced slightly. "I wouldn't be a negotiator if I wasn't good at what I do."

"And I wouldn't be here if I wasn't dead. Aren't we a match?"

"You don't have to be so sarcastic."

"And you could actually have a personality."

"Why do you insult me so?"

"Because it's fun."

"You find it amusing to insult someone you do not know?"

"You think I haven't seen what you're all about? I spent two days in your shadow before you even knew I existed."

"Two days is hardly enough…"

"Are you kidding me? You get up, you meditate. You meet with the Masters, you meditate. You eat, you travel, you sleep and you meditate. Not to mention the talking… and you complain about me."

Obi-Wan's face darkened. "I wish you knew how truly idyllic that vision of my life sounds."

"Well, I picked up on other things, like this war you Masters can't get enough of…"

"Right," Obi-Wan replied heavily. "That."

"You might as well tell me before I have to actually see something that'll make me blush."

"Something tells me it takes quite a bit to make you blush."

I just gazed at him. His face reddened slightly before he turned away. "Right," he said softly. "About the war…"

"I'd really like to know who you're fighting. It makes it far easier to cheer on the winning team since that's about the only thing I can do at this point. Unless you guys are the bad guys."

"We are far from being the 'bad guys'," Obi-Wan said, but for some reason he was doing that frown again. "The Republic is at war against the Separatists."

"And the Jedi are the soldiers?"

"Actually, no… we lead our troops into war."

"Troops?"

"You'll see what I mean."

"So you guys are like the super-soldier Generals and stuff."

"That would be a way to explain it, yes."

"Ah. Continue, please."

"The war has gone on for over two years now."

"And…"

"And, what?"

"Who's winning?"

"We are."

I grinned at him. "Go team Jedi."

"It isn't like that," Obi-Wan replied, looking uncomfortable. "We're not killers."

I felt my own face sober. "I didn't say you were."

"I just want to find an end to this war so that the Republic can prosper again."

"You have to actually look like you believe it in order to convince me you do."

He looked at me again. "It isn't like that."

"So you said."

"We just have… questionable leadership."

"Really?"

"Supreme Chancellor Palpatine is the head of the Senate. The Jedi basically do the bidding of the Senate… we do not answer to its leader."

"But he wants you to."

"Is it that obvious?"

"I saw my first Council meeting yesterday, when you decided that Palpatine was either evil or he was close to someone evil. And then you decided to do nothing about it. He's sitting right there and I'm thinking that's the guy… and you still won't do anything about it. Here I thought you guys were the power here."

"We're keepers of the peace, not soldiers."

"Spoken like the tall dark guy with the deep, dramatic voice?"

"Master Windu?"

"Yeah, him. I heard him say that."

"It is true, but all of us believe it."

"I suppose you're all good little well-behaved Jedi too, aren't you?"

"Why are you so sarcastic?"

"I have to make up for what you lack, Obi-Wan. Trust me, it's nothing against you."

"Why do I feel like you're making fun of me?"

"I so wouldn't do that! After all, I belong to you."

"There is precious little I can do about the situation right now."

"Somebody has to know something," I murmured, glaring above me, looking for the strange glowing guy. "Did you hear me? I said somebody has to know something!" Silence. "Stupid men."

I then realized that Obi-Wan looked close to laughing. He quickly choked back his laughter but failed miserably. I just placed my hands on my hips and glared at him. "What?"

"You are rather amusing."

"Gee, thanks. I think that's an actual personality behind all that ice-cold Jedi exterior."

"I think I understand why Anakin is leery of you."

"He's afraid of me you mean?"

"He's a Jedi… he doesn't know fear."

"Oh do I have my work cut out for me."

"Your work?"

"Yeah, you know… the part where I teach you all about my sarcasm and my stuff and you give me yours and we have this whole cliché ending. I never thought of afterlife as a cliché before."

A figure was hurriedly approaching us from behind. "Master, there you are." It was Anakin… again. He was looking at Obi-Wan, trying in vain to ignore me.

"Master and guest, Anakin. We don't want to be rude."

"But I don't know what to call you."

"It is a fair question," Obi-Wan said as he saw my reluctant expression. "We do not know your name."

"It's Buffy Summers."

"No, really."

I just rolled my eyes. "And Obi-Wan is a normal name? And Anakin?"

"All right… Buffy Summers."

"Please, just Buffy."

"It is a rather nice name."

"But, Master, it is an unusual one."

"We're not here to debate about my name!"

"Oh," came the unison response. "Sorry."

"Sorry my butt," I muttered.

"But, still… you have to admit it is unusual."

I just glared at him. He cleared his throat and took a step backwards. I turned to Obi-Wan with a knowing look. The other man was smirking.

"I'm sorry to interrupt Master… Buffy… but I have to meet with Chancellor Palpatine."

I was going to open my mouth to when Obi-Wan grimaced with obvious dislike and said, "You must do what you must."

"I take it you don't like him?" I asked Obi-Wan in surprise. After seeing him with the poker playing alien junkie, well… I thought he liked everyone. And I knew everyone else didn't exactly like him because though I knew how much I was liked, I was still iffy on grumpy old Kenobi.

I also knew immediately after I spoke that this was a sore spot between them. The temperature in the room seemed to drop to freezing and I couldn't even feel the cold.

"There is just the certain issue of trust," Obi-Wan said delicately. He glanced at Anakin with a slight frown and I found myself looking at him the same way. He stared at us both for a few seconds before shrugging.

"I have nothing against him. He's been a mentor, a friend to me since I've lived here. You don't know what that's like."

"No?"

Anakin eyed me cautiously for a moment before replying, "You obviously don't count since you're unwilling to share with us."

"I'll share with you as soon as you're not gallivanting off with the evil guy."

"You said he's evil?" Anakin asked, glancing at Obi-Wan, hurt flashing across his rather admirable features.

"I never said anything of the fact," Obi-Wan said, angrily stressing each syllable as he glanced at me. "And you would do well to keep your mouth shut. That was supposed to be kept in confidence."

"How the hell am I supposed to know what's confident and what's not? I don't know you!"

"You can hardly blame her, Master. She is lost here."

Oh yes, so lost. I keep telling myself that this has to be a dream. But, no. I'm standing here with two rather beautiful men who have all the discernable brainpower of a squid. Before I could actually ask what was going to happen next, I noticed they were both looking at me with looks of dawning horror on their faces.

"Squid?"

Crap! I had to stop the whole speaking-my-thoughts-out-loud thing. I just flashed them my most innocent smile. They just eyed each other tiredly and shook their heads. "You should see to Supreme Chancellor Palpatine," Obi-Wan said quietly, looking as though he just swallowed acid.

"Yes, Master," Anakin replied, turning on his heel and gliding towards me. Then, as though he had an afterthought, he turned back and questioned, "Master… when we go to Cato Neimoidia… will she be with us?"

"Unfortunately."

Unfortunately? Unfortunately?

"I don't think I like you," I muttered to Obi-Wan, who found himself distracted yet again as he turned his head to look at me. I just crossed my arms and began to walk away. Anakin just turned and continued on his merry way. I would have given anything, including my old clothing and pretty much all of my non-existent hair to follow him.

"You don't have much of a choice."

"Anyplace is better than this. It has to be better than this."

"Until we find out more about you, we cannot do anything that would jeopardize whatever you've been sent here to do."

"Does it include scoping? All I know is I've seen pretty much all Jedi all the time."

Obi-Wan studied me for a moment before adding, "Perhaps Cato Neimoidia would benefit you."

"So I can watch you fight? I don't think so."

"You could hardly have the skills to take on what we would be facing."

"You'd be surprised," I said darkly, glaring out at the brilliant artificial sunlight.

"Well, what benefits do you have now?"

"I… sense things," I replied defensively. "Like when you started talking to that weird alien guy who was playing poker, I began to see things. You took him out of the game at the wrong time, you know. The other guy was cheating and the alien you picked on had a full house… or whatever that crooked pyramid thingy is called."

"Obviously you do not know the game. Cheating is always involved."

"Ah, so you just picked on the fair one. I get it."

"Do you always talk this much?"

"I don't have much else to do," I smiled. "Besides… the other Jedi will think you're nuts standing in the hallway talking to yourself."

"You mean they can't see you?"

"All of three people can right now. You're the last one on the list, bub. Right now, you look psychotic."

"I can see things are looking better," he replied sarcastically. "First I find out that you exist… then you decidedly pop up at the most inopportune moments—"

"If that includes you showering, I enjoyed the show."

He just glared at me. I gave him my most endearing smile.

"Is nothing I do private anymore?"

"Well, if you count private as sitting in front of a bored blonde who finds her own version of 'fun'," I yawned, glancing around at the Jedi moving about without much interest. "I guess we're stuck with each other whether we want it or not. Just think… if you hadn't been so nosey and picked up my cross…"

He just leveled another look at me and sighed under his breath.

I couldn't blame him. It was all his fault. He brought this on himself.

And that's the guy I ended up with... sometimes life is so, so unfair. Afterlife. Whatever.

x-o-x

I am so not worthy. As usual, your reviews are most welcome. I'll keep updating about once a week until things at work start getting "busy" again. Comments, suggestions, flaming arrows… please?

Next chapter would include Buffy actually getting off of Coruscant.