And That's What it's All About
Title: And That's What it's All About
Chapter: Team Plus One
Rating: K – Just talk of death and mentions of war. Since I saw kids younger than the younglings in the last film watching said film, well… I'm certain anyone can read this.
Genre: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Star Wars exploding drabble-turned-crossover.
Summary: Obi-Wan and Anakin leave for their mission; she's just along for the ride.
Disclaimer: I own neither genre. Joss Whedon owns Buffy the Vampire Slayer. George Lucas owns the Star Wars franchise. All of the actual Star Wars stuff actually came from Wikipedia which likely came from George Lucas's mind to begin with. I'm just a poor post-college graduate working in a dangerous field. I just have my radar.
Spoilers: There are minor spoilers from both stories, especially Star Wars.
Timeline: This takes place after 'The Gift'. In Star Wars verse, it's set between films two and three.
Dedication: I think I've been inspired, Jeeves. What brainpower I had left to write this chapter has been boosted by the person this fic was intended as a gift for.
Notes: I haven't really decided how far this story will go yet. I'm "flying blind" on this one. I usually have a nice outline and everything. Nope… for this one, it's just a list of things I want to happen, a list of references for things that actually happen and the one thing I'm not sure I would want to happen if I actually wrote it. I think the story also took a bit more of a serious turn this time around. This is the first set of chapters in which our heroine goes on vacation… Jedi-style… with two of the greatest troublemakers in the Order. On a second note, the Olympics are finally here!
x-o-x
Team Plus One
The war room was crowded the next morning. Obi-Wan had been called from his meditation at had rushed from his quarters without sparing me a second glance. Just the tone of the Jedi's voice was deadly serious. Something major had happened.
I followed him blindly through the corridors until we reached the war room. The tall, dark-skinned man met Obi-Wan at the door. "Master Kenobi, we must speak."
Obi-Wan gave me a helpless glance before following Mace Windu inside. To be the nice person, I decided to give him his privacy. I stayed by the table as the two gathered in the far corner talking in low, urgent tones. I would just have to trust Obi-Wan to tell me what was going on.
What was usually a normal morning with a lot of pent-up energy and a mouthful of hot air to burn had suddenly become a deflated balloon. I couldn't exactly mock a room full of overly concerned Jedi who spoke as though the world was coming to an end.
Ooh, maybe it was an Apocalypse.
I turned around and politely backed out of the war room. Obi-Wan was too busy to notice I was gone. Anakin and Yoda weren't there so they wouldn't miss me.
I did however find my other ghostly friend waiting for me across the corridor. I took a few tentative steps towards him and finally crossed the hallway. Obi-Wan must still be within a hundred feet or whatever the distance was. It felt nice to be sort of free from him, even if it was only for a few minutes.
"Long time, no see," I greeted him. He just gazed serenely at me. "I really didn't think you would abandon me."
He looked somewhat amused as he replied, "You were never truly abandoned. My former apprentice knows to look after you."
"So you're the one who trained him to be such a tight ass," I surmised, crossing my arms.
He frowned at me. "I don't think it would be wise to insult him. He does have a weapon."
"A weapon that does a lot of good swinging through thin air," I replied tartly. "He can't touch me and you know it."
"There is something more than a physical touch, Buffy," the man said with an air of well-practiced patience. "He could have a greater impact on you if you would just open yourself to it."
"Great," I moaned. "More clichés."
His eyebrows snapped down, but before he could respond two more Jedi rushed into the war room. I felt my feet slide a few feet backwards and stopped right in front of the wall. "I can only ask you to have patience."
"If you knew anything about me, you'd know I don't have any."
"This is not the time for your sarcasm," he replied, a sudden edge to his voice.
"Well, anytime I can do something more than quip with the sarcasm, let me know," I said dryly, glancing behind me. I felt my face sober as the doors closed, showing a group of Jedi inside. "Something big has gone down, hasn't it?"
"To be honest, I do not know," the man replied, joining me at my side and gazing at the wall. "I could assume there was a major setback in the war."
"I thought they were winning," I murmured, puzzled.
"Well, Obi-Wan gave you the half-truth. The full truth lies in the stars."
"And that made the kind of sense that doesn't."
"I must ask you to have—"
"Patience, yeah, yeah, yeah," I grumbled. After a moment, I turned back to him. "How do you do it?"
"How do I do what exactly?" he asked, blinking down at me.
"Exist in this world and not want to run screaming in circles," I replied incredulously.
"I once existed here," he replied unnecessarily. "I was a Jedi."
"Well, thank you for that Master Obvious, but how can you stand there knowing what happens and not be able to do anything about it?"
There was a sudden pained look in his face as he glanced away. After a moment, he replied so softly that were it not for my enhanced hearing I never would have heard him. "That's the price we pay."
"So you died some heroic death, too?"
"A great apprentice of the Sith killed me. My death was not heroic."
"And yet here you are."
"I chose this."
"Well, I didn't."
"But I chose you."
This took me aback. "You chose me?" I asked softly. "Was I like the last person in the universe or something? I mean..."
"If you mean do I regret my decision…" His voice trailed off delicately as he glanced down at me. "I have yet to make that decision."
"Huh."
"This was not meant to insult you," he said gently. "It was meant to give you the opportunity."
I shook my head, his words sinking in. "What are you giving me the opportunity to do? I can't exactly show you my style unless I have actual hands. I don't really get what you're trying to say. I think it'd be better if I got you."
He shook his own head, sighing under his breath. "You will understand."
"When my so-called patience kicks in, I'm sure I will."
"Again—"
"Not the time for sarcasm, check. But what are you really expecting me to do here? I mean, what can I do?"
"I don't know."
That was so not the answer I was looking for.
"You don't know?"
He looked at me. "You must understand that Jedi do not always seek the easy answers," he replied calmly.
"But I'm not one of your Jedi," I protested. He was wearing his serious face. I could feel another clichéd reaction coming on.
"You cannot ask these Jedi why you are here. They do not know nor can they particularly discover the truth. They have enough to face without the distraction you will undoubtedly bring."
"Now I know where Obi-Wan got it."
He just placed his hand to his eyes. "Could you for one moment—"
"Okay, I'll be serious."
"Thank you."
"Not a problem. But I think you should know that I still have nothing whatsoever to contribute to this whole Jedi thing. And I thought Yoda was vague."
"Just know that this was not an attempt to deprive you of a rightful afterlife."
"Really?" I asked, glancing over at him and smirking. "The Powers That Be just screwed me over again, that's all. I don't blame you. I blame them."
"They were perfectly willing to give you that which you earned," the man replied, wincing slightly at the storm he knew he was going to cause.
"So basically this was your attempt to say that I didn't earn my afterlife?" I asked. My tone was light, but inside I was bubbling with anger. Figuratively, of course.
"I was hoping you would rather accomplish great deeds in your afterlife instead of floating on clouds," he replied. "To become part of the Living Force… few have accomplished what we have. You have been awarded a great honor."
"Really? Because right now I feel like I was duped against my will."
"That was not my intentions."
"And I'm supposed to believe you? I don't even know your name. To me, you're just the tall glowing guy."
"My name is Qui-Gon Jinn."
"Your name was Qui-Gon J—"
"No, unless I decide to alter my name to… what did you call it, a tall glowing guy? I hardly think I would gain respect by being called 'tall glowing guy'."
"Could be a catchy nickname."
His smile faded. "If you have not noticed… Obi-Wan approaches."
I turned around, feeling Qui-Gon fade behind me. Obi-Wan was walking directly at me. And he looked like he had plenty to say.
Which he did.
I think my jaw even fell twice.
"I thought you said we were winning the war," I whispered. I couldn't believe he had just told me what he had… an entire planetary division plus four Jedi commanders… wiped out on a world so close to Coruscant? I couldn't quite twist my mind around the 'off world' part, but the wiping out part I could. I felt a strange chill overcome me as I looked away. I couldn't look at his face.
For a moment there he looked so sad.
"It just means that our mission became twice as important," he said, a steely edge of determination in his voice. "We must leave soon. I must find Anakin."
"I haven't seen him," I offered helplessly. There was one thing to lose a war; but to lose a war you have never fought was just completely overwhelming to me. I had never been a part of a war in which I'd lost before.
He stopped to look at me, blinking. "Was that an actual offer of help?"
"I'll do what I can, even if it isn't much." That and to get the tall glowing guy off of my back. Or… Qui-Gon. Yeah, his name is Qui-Gon.
"I know you will," he replied. "But first we must track down Anakin."
It took a surprising amount of time. For someone that was basically the claimed chosen one, he wasn't exactly easy to find. We finally located him, though. Or, rather, Obi-Wan just followed where I was pointing and making odd comments about finding a very tall needle in a haystack shaped like one of those poofy footstool thingies those Jedi liked to meditate on.
"Master Obi-Wan," Anakin said, striding across the room in three long steps. His eyes traveled to my face. "And you."
"That was a lot less rude," I replied daintily.
"We have trouble Anakin," Obi-Wan replied, glancing around to make certain no one was listening to our conversation.
Our conversation.
Meaning all of a sudden I was included in on it.
"What is it?" Anakin asked, leaning closer. As he did, I noticed that his leg was gently brushing through mine. Trying to keep that rather provocative thought out of my head, I edged closer to Obi-Wan. It took me a few moments before I realized there was no way I was going to get out of this with a clean, clear mind.
And now they were both staring at me again. Had I said that out loud? Obi-Wan looked rather amused and Anakin looked affronted.
"What did you just say?"
Crap… I was going to have to watch that. "Nothing," I said, offering my sweetest smile.
Anakin just shook his head, turning to look inquiringly at Obi-Wan. The older Jedi took a deep breath and then plunged into his story. "The Jedi Council has decided to begin to attempt to reclaim planets along the outer rim after General Grievous fortified them."
Anakin's face sobered with sudden understanding. I know mine didn't. "Huh?"
"The General that leads the enemy forces has taken over our planets," Obi-Wan explained hastily. "The Jedi are now preparing to take them back."
"What was the big emergency today?" I asked. Anakin gave me a swift look, his eyes silently telling me to not talk so loud. Like it would really matter; they were the only Jedi who could hear me except for Yoda.
"There is a greater urgency to catch the Viceroy," Obi-Wan replied. For my benefit, he added, "he's one of the leaders of the Separatist army and likely one of their biggest financial contributors. As such, he is well aware of the presence of a Sith Lord and if he were caught, we might be able to question him. We would especially like to know about this mysterious General Grievous."
"I thought you already knew about him…" I responded.
"He is a rising force to be reckoned with," Obi-Wan agreed. "But the problem still lies with the Neimoidians."
Anakin seemed to accept this explanation without question, which was something because I had so many questions in my mind that I was having trouble deciding which one to ask first. Before I could ask any however, Obi-Wan glanced at me. "I would ask that you just accept this for now; all will become clear when you see it."
I shut my mouth and sighed. As Obi-Wan moved away Anakin, sensing my reluctance to follow, came up to my side. "He means well."
"He's confusing."
"He's a General. This is his way of explaining how it is."
For just one teeny, tiny fleeting moment I was tempted to let him in on a little secret in my life. Like, the part about me being a General.
"I just wish he'd be a little clearer. I don't have a life to risk, but if I did I'd be questioning him pretty seriously right now."
Anakin nodded. "I do understand. Really, I do."
Okay. How was that possible?
"Because you're the so-called chosen one?"
"I am the chosen one."
"How many chosen ones can there be?"
"Just the one and I am," Anakin replied, seemingly amused by our little argument.
Okay, so the motivation to spill my guts is now gone. Stupid Anakin for killing my mood!
"So… what's this Catie… er… Nemenoy planet like?"
"Cato Neimoidia is a dangerous planet," Anakin replied blithely, as though he were definitely set to prove his status as the chosen one. "It is built on mostly cities with bridges and is one of the richest planets of the entire Rim." He saw the confusion across my face and added hastily, "You'll have to see it to understand."
"How exactly are we getting there?"
"Commander Cody has star destroyers preparing for us at the airstrip. We will leave when they are ready."
"So I suppose we should be packing?"
Anakin smirked at me, his eyes twinkling. "Why would we be packing?"
Oh, right… these were men. They didn't pack. "I don't suppose you'll fight for a few weeks in those smelly old robes, will you?" I asked disdainfully.
"These smelly old robes are a Jedi's best tool," Anakin replied, his smirk widening.
"Not even clean underwear?"
Anakin snorted and moved forward.
"Clean socks? A hair brush? Shampoo?" My voice trailed off as I realized just exactly what I was dealing with. "Oh, this is going to be so disgusting!"
"Relax," Obi-Wan said, turning to look at me as I jogged up beside him. His eyes widened when he saw how quickly I could move for a ghost. I was so tempted to jab back that he should have seen me in person.
"How can you ask me to relax?" I thundered, aghast. "You're asking me to travel with two dirty Jedi to some planet and back?"
"It isn't like you have a sense of smell," Anakin replied. I looked at him; he was truly enjoying this.
I was so going to have to get something on him… something that I could use to torture him to no end.
"No, but I still have eyes and your hair looks like it could support a flea colony."
That snapped his mouth shut. Fixing me with a stern look, Anakin stormed past us and down the corridor.
"And you know that bar on the side of the tub? It's called soap!" I shouted after his retreating back. "It actually does do something more than just sit like a decoration!"
"You really must lay off of him," Obi-Wan said, though his amusement was clear in his twitching face.
"Uh huh," I replied stoically. "And what exactly would I do otherwise? I could just stand here and mock you."
"Would you?" he asked quietly.
"Only if I was in the mood. Which I'm not now…" I stopped, standing in the middle of a pool of sunlight. "How come you didn't tell Anakin what that tall dark-skinned guy said?"
He stopped, staring out the window for a long while before replying, "Because he will know precisely when he needs to." He turned to look at me. "Why did you not enter the war room? You would have gone unnoticed."
I thought about telling him about Qui-Gon Jinn, but held my tongue. "I thought you'd like your privacy."
"Oh," he said, his eyes narrowing, "and you just considered giving me privacy now?"
"I haven't peeped since the first time I saw you," I replied defensively. "I'm not some stalker. I do have standards, you know. And although you fit them, you're still a human being and in my world watching a human being be all naked and bathing constitutes as a serious stalking crime."
I was willing to bet he understood only half of what I said as he shook his head and glanced down, his fingers subtly brushing his beard. "Were you just teasing me before?"
"Yes," I replied. He seemed to cheer slightly at that and turned, continuing his walk. After a moment, he stopped again.
"May I confide in you?"
"Oh… okay…"
He gave me that smile again, the one that sort of made my ghostly knees weaken and my false breath quicken. Oh, yes, when he was smiling like that, he was just very aesthetically pleasing.
"I'm worried."
Well… so much for Captain Obvious. General Repetitive was starting to take over. "About…?" I prompted, coming to rest beside him.
"This mission, for one. A lot rests on our skills to capture Viceroy Gunray to plight our case that the Sith have a more substantial role in this than first expected. Our first assumption of the Sith did not go according to plan. Sora Bulq is not a Sith lord according to Master Windu's latest intelligence, which leaves the original thought that the Dark Lord of the Sith is a lot closer than comfort."
Okay. And yet I was still clueless.
"And…?"
He looked at me again, as though assuming I meant he had something else to say. As it turns out, I was right. "I'm worried about Anakin."
For a moment, he looked miserable again. I thought about reaching out to him, but I kept my hand at my side. "What about him?"
He just shook his head and gave me a pained look. "I do not wish to talk about it now. There is enough riding on this mission that speaking about Anakin would only distract me."
Good excuse, I thought. "All right." Then, feeling like I needed to say something more, I added, "But if you ever want to… I'm here, you know. I'm not going anywhere."
"I'm sorry we cannot help you find out why you're here."
After hearing Qui-Gon say basically that they'd never be able to figure it out, it was easy to forgive him. "I know," I replied, adding a slight smile of my own. "Just worry about your mission. I'll worry about the other stuff. And if you want me to keep an eye on Anakin, I could do that too."
Obi-Wan let out a long breath and gazed at me. "For someone who has become a thorn in my side, you do have your moments. There may not be many, but when you do have them…"
As he turned away, I promptly ran my hand through the back of his head. It almost felt as good as hitting him.
Several hours later, Anakin joined us again. For once, he looked clean. I gave him a brilliant smile and a thumb's up, which he promptly ignored as he stomped past us on the way to the launch.
Once we were seated inside, Obi-Wan began to discuss the mission again. Anakin just leaned down, frowning at the floor as he concentrated on what Obi-Wan was saying. I just sort of tuned him out. At this point, he was sounding like Giles. There was a lot of talk about different types of clone assault aircraft and vehicles they could use. Commander Cody's name came up a few more times.
And then I heard my name. Snapping out of my stupor, I turned to them. "What about me?"
"We were just discussing what you would be able to do."
"Obviously not much."
"No," Anakin replied, his eyes twinkling. "But you could do surveillance."
Spying? Like, for real? Sweet! "I guess I could," I yawned, attempting to muster enough enthusiasm into my answer. Obi-Wan apparently didn't think it was enough, judging by his scowl.
The transport we were riding set down a few moments later. Though I had no body, I still had that full-bodied sensation when it came to landing, complete with the stomach flutter during freefall. I was such a lucky ghost.
Obi-Wan led us up another ramp and into a ship the size of a city block. It was so big I knew my mom's house could fit into it several times over. Just the large circular things on the back of it were larger than that house. Anakin chuckled at the expression on my face but chose wisely not to comment.
"If you've never seen it, you would appreciate it too," I murmured in my own defense.
Anakin shrugged and gestured me on.
The inside of the space ship was like nothing I had ever seen before. Even when Obi-Wan quietly announced "Welcome to Commander Cody's star destroyer" I was in a state of complete shock. It looked like one of those things from Star Trek, only much, much cooler.
"And this," Anakin muttered behind me, "is Commander Cody."
A sudden figure stepped forward, white helmet tucked under his arm. "Master Kenobi, Commander Skywalker, welcome back to my ship." The man spoke in a quiet, yet determined voice. He was somewhat normal looking with dark hair and eyes, but there was something almost exotic about him.
"Thanks, Cody," Obi-Wan replied, sitting down and examining the panel in front of him.
"Your star fighters are in the hangar bay," Cody advised, setting his helmet down as he bent over the display. Glancing over Obi-Wan's shoulder, I saw something that looked like a multi-colored etch-a-sketch board superimposed on what looked more like a chess board than anything else. Then again, I really had nothing to compare it to.
Damned technology.
"We will arrive shortly after you do," Cody said, pointing at a tiny dot on the map. It immediately expanded to something that resembled a flat rock. "We'll commence the attack on all droid defenses then."
"And we'll go in and pluck out Gunray," Anakin said pleasantly from behind me, causing me to jump slightly.
Obi-Wan gave Anakin a long-suffering look. "You and I both know that it will take a lot more than that to capture the Viceroy."
"But, Master, politicians are our specialties."
I snorted. I couldn't help myself. Both Obi-Wan and Anakin glanced at me before turning back to Cody.
"Take us into orbit," Obi-Wan said quickly. Cody nodded and flagged down another figure moving towards us. At first, I thought I was looking at Cody again with the same distinct and yet bland features. But the more I looked around, the more I saw that nearly every single figure inside this ship were identical down to the determined brown eyes. Even their uniforms were the same. They all were the same heights, moved in the same fashion and even wore the same facial expressions.
But before I could ask what it was, Anakin leaned down and whispered, "They're clones."
"Oh." That explained it, I thought. Otherwise I would have felt sorry for all the nasty inbreeding. I saw that Obi-Wan was looking warily at me. All I knew is that they still had a lot of explaining to do.
I felt the ship buckle and I swung my hand through Anakin in the attempt to steady myself. If I wasn't careful, I was going to get a close-up view of the ship's exterior and that was the very last thing I wanted to do. It was bad enough to be a ghost going into a battle situation, but to be a ghost sitting in a star ship traveling into space without space to hold onto… the thought of floating through the stars sort of terrified me. I forced myself to sit down, hovering inches above the bench, staring hard at the twinkling map as though it were the only thing binding me here.
"Settle into a low orbit. We'll take it from there."
Correction… this was the man that I guess I sort of belonged to. Older and grumpy though he was, it seemed he had a lot of weight sitting on his shoulders. He was frowning, stroking his beard in that loving fashion.
Turning my head, I caught a porthole view of the outside and gasped. Anakin watched with a fond, knowing smile as I rose, walking towards the clear glass, gazing out. "Oh, my God."
It was the most wonderful view I had had in a long while, not counting pretty Jedi men. It was so surreal to be standing here, slightly floating about the ground while staring as a planet disappeared from beneath my feet. Stars that seemed far away were suddenly gleaming far brighter than I could have ever imagined.
I was really here, in outer space. I really did do something. I really was where no Slayer had gone before.
I touched the glass. Though I had no senses, I could feel the cold behind it.
"You would think she'd never seen a window before," Anakin mused to Obi-Wan, but he too was smiling fondly at my small frame as I stared outside. "Can we get her away from that?"
"We'll have to," Obi-Wan teased. "Otherwise she'll just have to float with the ship."
"And we're done," I replied, turning to face the two of them. "As for this whole star fighter thing… what do you expect me to do?"
A few minutes later, I found out the hard way. Settled in the back of a tiny ship that was obviously meant for a single pilot, I was stuffed behind the chair, the top of my head just visible over Obi-Wan's crown. My entire body was jammed into components I couldn't even see, much less identify. My feet were sticking through the bottom of the ship. My left arm was attached to the droid's system, which was weird because I felt a current of commands flow through me as though I were some electrical conduit. The droid outside seemed to be having the time of its life, beeping and twittering about.
And we hadn't even begun pre-flight yet.
"Comfortable?"
What a question to ask… "Not so much," I replied, shifting my bottom so that it wasn't sitting on a power coupling. It felt like I had a robot jammed up my behind.
"Will you last? It may take some time to reach the planet and more time before we are even on the surface."
"I think I'll manage." I was no wimp. It was time to prove I could outlast.
He smiled fondly as he fit his headset onto the top of his head. "You sound like Anakin when he was younger."
"I think I'm still younger than him."
He paused. "Really?"
"Yeah," I replied, slightly ashamed I had decided to let out that part of my life. My age… honestly! And women were usually so darned protective of that number.
"You still remind me of him," he said quietly, leaning over to switch controls. Feeling a slight vibration in my midsection, I glanced down to see something whirling to life. Great… now I was going to have vibrating electrical components in my body for God knows how long. "Back when we were a great team."
"You're still a great team," I grumbled over the loud noise behind me. I felt like it was drumming through my skull. It took me a moment to realize that I was literally up to my eyeballs in engine components. I shifted again, bobbing my head forward until it was within an inch of Obi-Wan's. "But, now it's like… a team plus one."
"Or maybe about a third," Obi-Wan countered, reaching down to tab another control. This time I felt a fan blast up my legs and I shuddered. Obi-Wan paused, frowning. "You might want to refrain from doing that," he said. "Now that I am aware of your presence, I would be able to feel anytime you would like to move your legs into the rear of my body."
Oh, so I just put my foot somewhere where it didn't belong. If I had been human, my face would have been burning. "Okay," I shouted.
The cabin was suddenly filled with Anakin's voice. "Master?"
"We're all set here."
"Then let's move."
A great silver doorway in front of us opened up. Leaning over so much chin was hovering over Obi-Wan's shoulder, I watched as Anakin's small yellow spaceship suddenly zoomed out, followed by ours.
Ours.
Like we were a team.
The ship didn't fly very far before it reached something that looked like Saturn's rings standing straight up. Obi-Wan neatly piloted the ship into two brackets and after a tremendous lurch that nearly sent me spiraling out of the rear of the ship, it came to a halt.
"Are you ready?" he asked me.
"I'm as ready as I'll ever be," I muttered, my mouth full of oily engine as I pulled myself back forward. As he began pushing more controls, I felt a sudden jump before the ship took off with great speed.
I just forced my eyes to stay on the blurring stars overhead. I couldn't really get sick as I didn't have a stomach, but this was far faster than I had ever traveled in my life.
After this, I think I preferred walking.
Little did I know that a few days from now, I would prefer anything, including putting up with Qui-Gon Jinn, other than facing what we were about to.
x-o-x
This story is now my third most viewed story… and it was five chapters long. This tells me that switching to a new genre of crossover was an intelligent thing to do. It is also inspiring me to get back to doing rewrites. It's nice to know that since switching to my current job I haven't lost my comedic side. Your reviews inspire me, they really do. I appreciate all of them and do intend to reply for those of you who have been kind enough to leave them! I'm not going to beg for reviews, but they really are very nice and motivating!
Buffy is finally off of Coruscant… but she's about to land in a whole new world of trouble.