Third step: How to deal with a pregnant wife?
Put this in the back of your head: If your wife asks you if she looks fat. Never ever answer yes or no at that point. You really need to find a smartass answer. Because this is happens when you answer with yes or no.
4 months pregnant:
Ginny was standing in front of the mirror, looking at her reflection when I entered (bad timing). Ginny turned toward me.
"Harry, do you think I'm fat?" I raised my eyebrows.
"No of course not, Honey!" I answered. Ginny started to cry.
"You're lying, I'm ugly, I'm so fat. Why don't you just admit it."
5 months pregnant:
"I'm so ungly, look at my stomach it so big. I'm sooo fat!" Ginny cried.
"Yes, indeed your fat, but-" WACK! Ginny had hit me hard on my head. And now I was moaning in pain.
"You think you're suffering right now? Look at me, I SUFFER! And don't you dare call me fat again, Harry James Potter!"
6 months pregnant:
"Harry does dis dress make me look fat?" I was stunned as she asked me, 'no' was not the right answer and nor was 'yes'.
"Err-"
"Yes, I'm fat, otherwise you wouldn't think so long." Ginny cried.
"I hate you!" she yelled hysterically.
7 months pregnant:
"Harry do I look-"
"Nononono!" I cried as I ran out of the room as fast as my legs could carry me.
8 months pregnant:
"I'm fat! I eat to much and I can't help it, because I'm always hungry."
"Ginny listen to me, you're pregnant, all pregnant woman look like this. You still look so beautiful," I said in my most dreamy voice.
"Really?" Ginny asked uncertainly.
"Yes, really. I love you so much!" I said and I kissed her. Mmm I'm impressed by myself. I found the smartass answer muwhaha!