Author's note: Well you've waited long enough. I mean this doesn't take so long to write, the only thing what should happen more frequent is to open the document and actually write it. Right? Well here's the next part. Read, enjoy and push the bottom 'review'.
Jade The Orkkiller

HAVING CHILDREN: A GUIDE FROM A TO Z

By Harry Potter

Fifth step: How to survive a delivery?

Never let your wife hold your hand during a delivery, she will crush it and if you even dare to wince she'll yell at you. Oh and don't startle when she uses er- dirty language, 'cause they like to swear a lot, but that's normal. But after the delivery I was glad that I'm a man. Because if they really suffer as much as they yell than ... ouch.

"Mrs Potter, you now are fully dilated!" the healer announced after eight hours of labour, which is not so long as I've come to understand. Although it's long enough to turn your wife into a bloodthirsty monster. Really Ginny was as scary as facing Voldemort and an entire army dementors.

"Fuck you and your fully dilated crap, pull this thing this instant out of me!!!" Ginny screamed.

"There won't be any pulling, but you'll be pushing it out yourself," the healer said cheerfully.

Man didn't this guy knew any better, he was playing with fire.

"You Up-the-ass-fucker! What are you smiling at huh! I'm suffering you Son of a whore and all you do is smile!" Ginny yelled at the top of her lungs.

I wouldn't be surprised if the entire neighbourhood had heard her yelling.

"Now now, Mrs Potter, there's no need to make a fuss of this," ther healer tried to calm her.

"Don't tell me what I should do! Jerk!" Ginny yelled even louder.

"I'm afraid I have to ask you to push," the healer said.

Ginny pushed and yelled and screamed, man I almost wet my pants in fear.

"Aaaah-I-HATE-YOU!" Ginny said through gritted teeth. I swallowed.

"It'll be all over soon," I promised her and took her hand in mine to show her I meant it.

That must have been 'the' mistake of the year. Because she squeezed my hand so hard that I couldn't feel the blood circulating in my hand andymore.

"We're almost there-" the healer said, but he was interrupted by Ginny.

"We? We?! WE?! You mean I, you son of a bitch! You're not doing anything besides looking at my vagina!"

While yelling that she squeezed my hand another time. I winced softly, but audible for Ginny.

"You dare to wince now, Harry James Potter? You dare to wince, while I'm trying to expel this child out of me! That got in there because of you! Oh I promise you that next time when you try something like this again, I'll make sure you can't pee while standing anymore."

I swallowed again.

"One push Mrs Potter," the healer announced.

Ginny pushed and then ... then I can't remember a thing, because I passed out. Apparently Ginny had squeezed my hand hard enough to crush all the bones.

So when I woke up, I was sitting in a chair, my hand hurt and was taped so I couldn't use it too much. Ginny was lying in bed nursing a little black haired baby. I stood up and walked toward her.

"Doesn't she look perfect?" Ginny asked cheerfully.

Wow since when is she doing so nice?

A/N: Well that was another part of the Guide book. Hope you liked it. R&R.

Jade The Orkkiller