I greet you heartily and thank those of you who reviewed with a dramatic flailing of the arms. Now—to business. Today's menu consists of another flashback, more back story, and Sirius Black (probably the coolest mix of godfather and ex-con ever—well, not so much the ex-con part in this world, though…)

Chapter Five: Only a Bit of Paper

"Honestly, James, Slytherin? How'd he manage to fall into that bunch of Snivelluses?" Sirius's harsh voice carried up the stairs to where Harry was crouched, already squeezed into his Christmas sweater.

"Bugger off, Sirius. Quit talking like Harry's joined the Dark side. It's not that big of a deal," James retorted.

"Not that big of a deal! We're talking about the house that spawned the filthiest maggot that ever stalked the earth."

"You mean Snape?"

"No, I mean Bellatrix. Of course I mean—well, actually, Bellatrix, too, now that I bring it up. You're seriously under-reacting here, Prongs."

"Maybe if your parents had under-reacted when you got put in Gryffindor, you'd be less of a maniac today, Sirius Black."

"That was different."

"Oh? How?"

"Well, for one, my father wasn't a weak little shrimp in glasses…" Sirius said. James laughed in spite of himself.

Harry leaned his head against the banister. He could still remember what that patchy hat had said to him when he'd been Sorted several months back.

"You could be great in Slytherin, you know…"

Okay, Harry had thought. Okay, put me in Slytherin.

And the hat had opened up its brim of a mouth and finally bellowed, "SLYTHERIN!"

Even the disappointed look Harry expected on his dad's face couldn't dim the delight he felt hearing Malfoy cheer for him as he made his way to the table.

Back in the present, Harry heard his mother call them all for Christmas dinner and scrambled down the stairs, met with a defiant look from his dad and a forced grin from the still bristling Sirius.

After dinner, Harry's dad drew him away from all the others. Sirius broke away from Harry's mum and Lupin, joining the two in the shadows of the hallway.

"Now, Harry," James began in a conspiratorial whisper. "I haven't given you a Christmas present yet. Have I, Padfoot?"

"No, Prongs, you haven't. The poor boy," Sirius said with a sly smile. Harry, who'd spent nearly twelve years around these two, knew that when his dad or his godfather smiled that way, something grand was going to happen.

James rummaged in his cloak and his hand emerged holding a rather tattered piece of parchment. "What's that, dad? My present's old parchment?" Harry asked, feeling disappointed. Parchment for Christmas? That was a new low.

"Harry, Harry, Harry, this is not merely a piece of parchment. This, my boy, is," James began, looking over his shoulder to make sure Lily and Lupin were still in the kitchen, "the Marauder's Map. The pride and joy of our school days. Hard time I had sneaking it out of Filch's office last summer, too," James said with a hint of pride. "Just, er, don't tell your mum about this."

"Or Remus, the old party-pooping coot." Sirius took the parchment, stuck his wand at it, and declared, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Suddenly, thin lines snaked around the page until they formed the words:

Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs

Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers

are proud to present

The Marauder's Map

And under this banner lay the entire map of Hogwarts.

"It shows you everything, Harry. The people, the rooms, even that bloody Mrs. Norris," Sirius said. "Look, there, it's showing some boy named Ronald Weasley in the Hufflepuff common room—"

"—And Dumbledore and the staff eating dinner in the Great Hall—"

"—And Snivellus alone in his slimy dungeons!" Sirius and James howled with laughter and Harry grinned at them. Then Lily's voice came.

"James? What are you doing over there?" As Harry's mum came over to see, James quickly said "Mischief managed" (the map went blank again), and gave it to Harry to hide.

Later that evening, when Lily was seeing to Lupin's guest room, Harry asked his father, "Is it…safe?"

James gaped at him, then at Sirius, then back. "Safe?"

"Can I trust it? It seems…smart…"

The two men laughed it off. "Harry, just because it's intelligent doesn't mean it's dangerous. It's only a bit of paper, really," his godfather explained as James laughed in the background.

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A-hah! Foreshadowing, which will make sense later, I hope. How was it, oh kind and gentle readers? Am I butchering things up, or doing not quite so badly?

Leave it in a REVIEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! (Let's try for ten this time, shall we?)