Treehouse of Horror: Naruto style
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror
Outside the tree house, Guy had been listening to Naruto's story and couldn't help but feel a little scared; partly because of the scary voice Naruto was making for effect, but carried on listening.
Inside the tree house
"You idiot, that wasn't scary at all." said Sasuke.
"Oh yeah well how about THIS SEVERED FINGER?!" Naruto exclaimed while pulling out a box that had a severed finger in it, surrounded by blood.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" scream everybody, including Guy who was still spying on them, fortunately everyone was screaming so loud that they didn't hear him.
The only people who weren't screaming were Sasuke and Kiba, instead Kiba started smirking.
"Severed eh?" he asked as he put Akamaru up to the finger. Said dog then began to lick up the blood on the finger.
"EWWW DOG SLOBBER!!" screamed Naruto as he retracted his hand and began wiping his thumb of dog slobber and blood, aka ketchup.
"Heh heh I knew it." said Kiba as he pet Akamaru's head.
"Naruto you jerk don't scare us like that!" exclaimed Sakura while smacking Naruto on the head.
"Yeah you made me spill my chips!" said Choji with tears in his eyes.
"All you ever do is eat chips, know wonder your a blimp and girls don't talk to you!" exclaimed Naruto.
"HEY!" screamed Choji in outrage and began to grab a near by pillow to hit Naruto with it, but was stopped by Shikamaru.
"Calm down Choji, it's troublesome to let Naruto get you mad."
"Yeah but what you can do is show him up with a better ghost story," said Ino. "After all you haven't told one yet."
"WOO HOO ANOTHER YOUTHFUL TALE OF TERROR!" exclaimed Lee, raising his fists in triumph.
"That is if he could tell a good one, after all the only thing Naruto can do right is tell a half decent story." commented Neji with a smirk.
'I thought it was scary.' thought Hinata.
"I still whooped your butt in the Chunnin Exams, zombie eyes!" retorted Naruto in come back. Neji responded to this by throwing popcorn at the younger boy.
"Hey!"
"Quite, Choji's gonna start!" said Ino while handing said boy the flashlight. Choji took it and put it up to his face.
"Well let's just say that Naruto's story was just a warm up for this next tale that I like to call: 'Hungry Are The Damned!'"
(Story begins)
It was a nice evening in Konoha and our very own Team Ten just got back from completing a B ranked mission and were celebrating a job well done at Asuma-sensei's house with a big barbeque cook out in the backyard.
"Are you done yet sensei? I'm starving." whined Choji while holding his plump stomach.
"Just hold on Choji I have to turn on the bug zapper, you don't want flies in your burger do you?" replied Asuma while turning on the bug zapper and walking towards the table to get the lighter fluid when he heard a loud zap.
KURRR ZAP!!
"Whoa that was a big mama!" exclaimed Asuma after hearing the sound of said bug get electrocuted.
(Back to reality)
While Choji was telling the story, Shino was sitting in the back of the tree house and made the sign of the cross in respect for the dead fictional bug.
(Back to the story)
Asuma began squirting lighter fluid inside the grill, unfortunately it was a little to much lighter fluid.
"There we go, man alive there's nothing better then a hamburger grilled to perfection." as soon as he said that he threw a match into the grill, only for the fire to shoot out straight into the air so high that the whole village could see.
"Cool!" exclaimed Ino at the sight before her.
"Could we please hurry up." Choji whined again. While two feet away, Shikamaru was lying on the grass looking up at the sun setting sky chewing on a weed. Just as he was about to relax something caught his eye, a large flying sauser.
Shikamaru shot up from his position and got into a fighters stance while Ino and Asuma ran towards him to the amazing by scary sight. Choji walked casually towards the group as well while biting into a hamburger.
"Your burgers are getting cold guys--" Choji was taken aback at the sight before him.
"Holy moly..." he stated, but that didn't stop him from taking another bite from his burger.
The flying saucer opened up a hole at the bottom, releasing a beam of light that shot towards Shikamaru and abducted him.
"WAAAHHHH!" he screamed.
The light then shot at Ino.
"AAAHHHHHH!" she screamed.
The light then shot towards Asuma.
"AAAAHHHHHH!" he screamed.
Last but not least the beam shot towards Choji, who didn't seem to be scared at what was happening but instead continued to eat his burger.
As the light began to beam up Choji it started to have a difficult time actually lifting him up, which was partially do to his size. Frustrated at the task the ship shot down another beam of light to help the other beam lift the chubby ninja onto the ship, once the task had been down the ship took off flying into space.
Inside the ship, Team Ten was huddled up together and shivered in fear as a strange figure came towards them. The figure was really scary looking, it was tall at least ten feet tall with green skin a large head, black oval shaped eye and four long fingers, it was also clad in black spandex with a silver belt.
"Greetings humans, I am Jorell," it said. "Do not be alarmed, we mean you no harm." it said while taking notice of there shivering.
"Y-you speak English." stated Asuma with a shiver while pulling out his trench knives from his pouch in case he needed them.
"Actually I am speaking Gorlockian, but by astonishing coincidence both of our languages are exactly the same." replied Jorell.
"W-what are you going to do to us?" asked Choji while taking cover behind Asuma.
"Cronus and I-" he said directing to the identical alien next to him. "are taking you to Charta Seven, a peaceful prosperous planet that challenges your inferior intellect.
"Look I know to you we ninjas are a lower order of life," stated Shikamaru startling everybody. "We face that prejudice every day of our lives, but we are happy on our little planet." By this time Shikamaru got down on his knees.
"We throw ourselves at your mercy, please return us to-" but before he could voice anymore of his protest an alien pushed a hovering table of dinner dishes with covering in front of them.
"Dinner time." said Jorell.
"Hey get a load of that spread!" exclaimed Choji with pure dilight.
"Here you go Earthlings take all you want, but eat all you take." said the third alien who brought them the table.
"Why thank you very much mister..." began Ino but was stopped by the third alien.
"To pronounce it correctly, I would have to pull out your tongue." he said.
"Eeeee..." exclaimed Ino.
The team sat down at the table as the covers from their lids were pulled of. Shikamaru's was pulled off first.
"Miso braised mackerel!"
Then Choji's and Asuma's where lifted up
"Korean barbeque!"
And finally Ino's
"Cherry tomatoes! They know all our favorite foods, they're a very advanced race...or their just stalkers." she said uncertainly.
"Come Earthlings eat, grow large with food." said Jorell, with that said Team Ten wasted no time in shoveling food into there mouths. Shikamaru stopped half way into his meal.
"There's something not quite right about this." he said, sounding a bit concerned.
"The boy's right lets get some sauce out here for these ribs!" demanded Asuma. Cronus went to the kitchen to get Asuma's order while the third alien began staring at Ino, Asuma took notice of this.
"What are you looking at?" he asked rather rudely.
"You're kunoichi is quite a dish." said the third alien. Asuma stared at Ino for a moment (who was currently shoveling cherry tomatoes in her mouth like an animal) and back at the alien.
"Um, thanks."
(Time jump: Twenty minutes later inside the aliens' entertainment room)
Shikamaru stared out the window of the space ship as they passed by different planets while in the background the aliens where showing the rest of the team around the room.
"It is our great pleasure to provide you with unlimited entertainment on your intergalactic journey," said Jorell as he turned on the TV.
"Here we get all of your human stations from every corner of the globe, all three thousand channels!"
"Do you get HBO?" asked Choji.
"No that would cost extra." replied Jorell plan and simple as they moved on to the next screen. The screen reviled a checkered pattern board and small circles all over it.
"Here we have an electronic version of what you call Shogi, here your primitive pieces have been replaced by-"
"Hey that's just computer checkers, get with the times!" Choji pointed out.
"I use to play that old game when I was attending the Ninja Academy." stated Asuma while Ino merly giggled at the aliens' silliness.
"Well we did build this spaceship," said Jorell, feeling a little insulted.
"Anyone whose from a species that has mastered intergalactic travel raise your hand." said Cronus as he and Jorell raised their hands. Being silly, Choji raised his hand as well only for Asuma to gently slap it away.
"Alright then," said Cronus smugly seeing that no one else has raised their hands.
"Sorry, your game is very nice." said Ino apologetically. Just then the third alien came into the room with another table of food.
"Dinner time." said Cronus.
"Hey, how come we never see you guys eat?" asked Shikamaru rather skeptically.
"Oh, well we wouldn't want to spoil our appetite for, the great feast when we land on Charta Seven." said Jorell.
"Oh boy, a feast!" exclaimed Choji getting excited about the idea.
"Will we be invited?" asked Asuma as the aliens pull the covering off their food.
"Oh you will be, I have a feeling you'll be the guests of honor." said Jorell while the team began to eat.
"Tell us more about this feast." said Ino getting more excited about the event.
"No no eat now," replied Jorell.
"When we arrive there will be plenty of time to, chew the fat." said the third alien as he and the other two started giggling.
Team Ten had begun to eat while all the while Shikamaru was having inner doubt.
'There's something going on around here, and as troubling as it may be I'm gonna have to be the one to find out.'
(The next day)
The aliens had called Team Ten out to weight them.
'Weight us?! Why would they need to weight us?' thought Shikamaru getting more suspicious. Asuma had just gotten off the scale; he was a good 140 pounds, all muscle.
Ino then stepped onto the scale. The arrow pointed to 120.
"Very good earth girl." said Jorell as Ino stepped off the scale.
'Probable congratulating me on having such a great body!' thought Ino while unconsciously flipping her hair.
Choji then stepped onto the scale. The arrow pointed to 150.
"Oooooh...!" exclaimed the aliens with great delight.
"Excellent Choji." said Jorell making Choji blush.
'At least someone thinks I'm just big boned.'
(Time jump: Dinner time)
Shikamaru had snuck away from dinner to do a little investigating. He made his way into the electronic hallway which leads to the kitchen. As the electronic door opened the third aliens back was shown to Shikamaru. The shadow boy immediately took cover behind a wall while eavesdropping on the alien.
"This will give the ninjas the perfect flavor," said the alien while flipping pages in a book and putting some kind of spice into the pot he was boiling. Picking up the pot he licked his lips and carried it over to the oven. As he left Shikamaru snuck in and grabbed the book the alien was previously reading, he only had to take on look at the book to figure it all out.
How to Cook Ninjas
Shikamaru ran through the corridor back to his team while clutching the book to his chest. When he reached the dinning room he noticed his team was enjoying a sushi dinner.
"STOP!" he shouted to his team, making them spit out their food and look at him.
"Don't you see what's going on?! Their fattening us up so they can eat us!"
"What?!" exclaimed Ino.
"No way!" shouted Choji.
"Oh, come on Shikamaru!" exclaimed Asuma.
"If you don't believe me then just look at this book that I found!" stated the shadow boy, showing the book to everybody, making them gasps. Jorell then came up from behind Shikamaru.
"Gaah! He's right!" shouted Choji.
"Humans, you have stopped eating." said Jorell.
"Listen you disgusting alien slime! Nobody, but nobody eats Team Ten!" shouted Asuma while he Ino and Choji pulled out their weapons preparing to attack.
"What are you talking about?!" asked Jorell in surprise.
"Don't play dumb with us we found you're book!" said Ino.
"What this?" asked Jorell while taking the book from Shikamaru. "It's just a harmless cook book, it's just a little dusty." with that said Jorell blew on the book and turned it around to show the humans the real title.
How to Cook for Ninjas
The team breath in a sight of relive and began to put there weapons away.
"Wait a minute," said Shikamaru while blowing on the book again to reveal more.
How to Cook forty Ninjas
"AHA!" he stated while pointing to the title.
The team gasped and pulled out there weapons again, this time read to attack.
"Wait, there's still more dust on here." said Jorell while blowing on the book one final time to reveal the book's one true title.
How to Cook for fourty Ninjas
"Let me get this straight, you thought-"
"They thought we were going to eat them!" exclaimed Cronus, making his way into the dinning room.
"Ah, good God is this some kind of joke?!" asked Jorell in shock.
"No, their serious!" exclaimed Cronus.
"Well why were you trying to make us eat all the time?" asked Shikamaru, who was beyond confused.
"Make you eat?!" shouted Cronus while pointing an accusing finger at the overly suspicious boy. "We merely provided an edible banquet, and frankly you people made pigs of yourselves! Especially that boy with the swirls on his cheeks!" he directed the last part to Choji, who put his head down in shame.
"I slaved in the kitchen for days for you people and..." the third alien began sobbing while Jorell put his arm around him.
"Well, if you wanted to make Tarff the preparer cry-mission accomplished!"
"Y-you aren't the only being with emotions you know." he said, making Team Ten feel guiltier then they had ever felt, especially Shikamaru.
Back on earth the space ship landed in Asuma's backyard, as the stairs descended the team began making their way down the steps and onto the ground. Before they left Jorell began to speak.
"We offered you paradise, you would have experienced emotions a thousand times greater then fun and a thousand times greater then what you call love, you would have been treated like gods and lived forever in beauty; but because of your distrustful nature that can never be."
"Hmmm for a superior race they really rub it." said Ino to Asuma.
As the space ship began to take flight and head for outer space the team stood and looked up into the sky.
"There were monsters on that ship, and truly we were them." said Shikamaru.
"Shikamaru, you see what we mean when we say your too smart for your own good?" asked Asuma.
"Way to go Shikamaru!" stated Ino angerly.
"Yeah thanks Shikamaru!" seconded Choji.
"Herrrmm..." groaned Asuma in annoyance.
(Story ends)