Slash Warning: Once again, the slash warning applies. There are two men doing shaggy things in this chapter - be warned!

oOoOoOo

The Bodyguard

Chapter 18: The Virginity Trap

Ron Weasley stood by the attic bedroom door, wearing his patched old pyjamas and an expression that made him look like he'd just swallowed a whole boxful of Puking Pastilles.

Harry stared back in speechless horror. Unaware of Ron's presence, Draco sucked enthusiastically away at Harry's cock, until he felt Harry's hands loosen on his head, and then, with a noise like a plunger being drawn from a blocked sink, Draco lifted his head and looked up into Harry's eyes.

"What's the matter?" Draco asked. He took in Harry's frozen expression, turned his head to follow Harry's gaze and saw Ron.

"OH!" yelped Draco and in one rapid movement he reached down and pulled the blankets back up over himself and Harry. Then he draped an arm over Harry's chest and gave Ron a possessive glare. In the most priggish, upper class voice Harry had ever heard him use, Draco drawled, "Good morning, Ronald Weasley. Would you kindly please KNOCK next time, before you enter my boyfriend's room?"

Ron stared at Draco and tried to speak but he only managed to make a sound like a mouse being trodden on. Then his lips formed the word, 'Boyfriend', but no sound came out. His lower jaw worked up and down ridiculously and his eyes were as wide as saucers. At length, he found his voice. "Sorry," he said. "I came in to wake you two up so that Draco could do that virginity detector spell on my brothers. I had no idea you'd be..." He stared at Harry and Draco lying together in bed and reality seemed to hit him. Suddenly Ron turned on the spot and fled; slamming the door shut behind him.

Harry heard his running footsteps going down the stairs and stared, red-faced, at the closed door. "Poor Ron..." he breathed. "I wanted to break it to him gently. I didn't want to make the fact that we've been shagging so obvious..."

Draco gave a humourless laugh and turned his head away. "You're ashamed of me, Harry."

"No, I'm not! I'm sorry, that was an awful thing to say!" said Harry sharply and reached out a hand to cup Draco's cheek and gently turn his head around. He took in Draco's flushed cheeks and insecure grey eyes over glistening lips and he reached up to stroke a lock of soft, silvery-blond hair off his forehead. He gave Draco a tender smile. "I'm crazy about you. But so much has changed in the past couple of days. It's so strange. Two days ago, you hated me, but now-" He broke off and lost his train of thought when Draco grabbed his head and pulled him into a passionate kiss that set his body tingling.

"-I love you," Draco finished for Harry, when the kiss finally ended. Harry saw him smirk. "I don't know about strange. My taste has always been superb, so I can't be wrong about you." He caressed Harry's neck. "And if you're worried about letting everyone know we've been shagging, then you've got no choice but to stay up here all day."

"What do you mean?"

"Your neck, Harry. It's covered in love bites!" Draco grinned in triumph. "Everyone will know that you're mine!"

Harry laughed and felt his throat. He could feel the slight pain of the bruises and when his eyes strayed to Draco's neck, he gave a snort of laughter. "I think I left more on you," he insisted, refusing to be outdone. "We'll have to cure them before we go downstairs. Frendocuro is the spell."

"Good. I'll fix you later," purred Draco. His pale eyes burned, and his hand drifted down Harry's chest. "Now what were we doing before we were so rudely interrupted?"

Harry glanced at the door and the hand on his chest froze.

"Later then, when we have privacy," said Draco ruefully. "I wouldn't put it past Ron to come back in again, if he doesn't get his Virginity Trap soon." A spark of amusement glittered in his eyes. "At least YOU don't have to worry about being caught by it now, Harry..."

oOoOoOo

The sun had just risen by the time Harry and Draco had washed and dressed and were tiptoeing down the stairs. They could hear the Order stirring as they passed by their doors, but no one, apart from Ron, appeared to have left their rooms yet. Harry took Draco's hand as they crept along, and Draco beamed. With a rush of a rush of happiness and confidence Harry thought - to think I was single and a virgin when I walked up these stairs! What a difference a night can make!

As they reached the last flight of stairs, Draco let go of Harry's hand and motioned for him to stop. Harry could hear Ron's gloomy voice in the kitchen.

"What a night, Hermione! I slept alone, on a pillow that Draco had warmed his crotch on and when I woke up, I had a ... misunderstanding. I thought Harry had taken Polyjuice potion and had turned into Mad-Eye Moody."

Hermione's reply was inaudible, but Ron's was easy to hear.

"I'd just woken up, okay? I was confused. Anyway, after I'd sorted it out, and Moody had taken the jinx off me, he told me that Harry and Draco had moved up into the attic room while I slept, so I went up there and-" Ron started to splutter. "Like I told you. I-I found ... Draco M-Malfoy's face lodged in Harry's crotch-"

Hermione's laughter rang out in the kitchen but Ron raised his voice petulantly. "Stop laughing at me! I'll never get over this, Hermione. Never! I need something to take away the memory of Draco giving Harry a blowjob!"

Draco arched an eyebrow at Harry, hitched up his shoulders, and strutted boldly into the kitchen, with Harry following close behind. "Good morning ... again!" the Slytherin sniggered.

Ron was standing by the table, looking haggard and miserable. He was dressed in a robe and jeans. Hermione was standing nearby, wearing her stripy pink and green pyjamas and she was holding a towel and a clean robe as if she'd been just about to go upstairs to shower when Ron started talking to her. She beamed at Harry and Draco and gave them a sly, knowing wink. "Good morning!" she said brightly. "I hear you two are getting on REALLY well!"

Draco's cheeks went faintly pink. "Better than usual, Hermione." He moved a little closer to Harry, and Harry found himself blushing as well.

Hermione tipped her head on one side, "Draco, what are those daisy shaped bruises on your neck?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I just ... fell on something ... shaped like a daisy," invented Draco quickly and poorly. Harry nodded in support. He didn't dare look at anyone, and he made a mental note to get more Frendocuro training from Tonks.

Hermione looked doubtful. "You must have fallen on it ten times, on both sides of your neck, Draco. And so did you, Harry," she said. Her mouth twitched and Harry thought she had probably guessed how those strangely shaped bruises had gotten there. He wondered if Hermione would tease them. But Hermione saw the haunted look Ron was giving the boys and frowned. "Oh, get over it, Ron," she said bossily. "Stop acting like you're surprised they're together."

"I AM surprised," said Ron. "It's one thing to suspect something about your best mate, Hermione. It's another thing to walk in and see him getting a blowjob off another boy!"

"You shouldn't have walked in like that," said Draco, frowning.

Harry couldn't believe what Ron had just said. "Wait a second! Ron, you ... suspected ... you thought that I ... liked boys?"

Ron shrugged. "I did get that impression, mate. Girls always seemed to be more interested in you than you were in them."

The corners of Draco's lips twitched.

"What gave you that ... why didn't you say anything?" spluttered Harry.

Ron looked startled. "Why would I? I figured you had enough to deal with already. Besides, I didn't want to disappoint Ginny. She'd liked you for years, and I wanted to give you two a chance."

Draco grimaced at the mention of Ginny. With an obvious effort to change the subject, he said: "So where do you want the Virginity Trap, Ron?"

Ron brightened. "TRAP, did you say?"

Hermione swelled up with indignation and folded her arms.

"Yes, Trap. If it works, it will capture your brothers instead of just blocking them," said Draco, carefully avoiding Hermione's furious gaze.

Ron's eyes widened. "Cool! So my brothers won't be able to retaliate if they get caught? That's brilliant!"

"It's terrible!" fumed Hermione.

Harry felt obliged to stick up for Ron and Draco's plan. "It's just a bit of fun Hermione. No one will get hurt." He was taken aback when Hermione stamped her foot.

"Fun? Fine! You want to egg on Draco to use a Death Eater spell in the middle of the Order Headquarters? You boys go right ahead. But I don't want anything to do with it," she said indignantly, with a toss of her bushy mane. She stormed past Harry and Draco and disappeared up the stairs.

Draco watched her go, with a worried expression, but Harry gave him a slap on the shoulder. "Don't worry about Hermione. She's never been one for pranks. She'll be in a better mood once she's had her shower, I promise."

"Go on, make the Virginity Trap, Draco!" ordered Ron excitedly. "Please! Just there on the stairwell. Better do it fast! My brothers get up really early, because of their shop."

Draco still seemed a bit reluctant, but he nodded at Ron and ran his wand over the open air, where the stairwell met the kitchen. While Harry and Ron watching in fascination, he muttered spell words like poetry and he stretched up, so that his wand touched the ceiling, and then he slowly lowered the tip of his wand to the floor, muttering all the while. Harry couldn't see anything different about the stairwell, but his cheeks tingled from the magic being woven. Ron sat down back-to-front in a kitchen chair and leaned his chin on the back of the chair, watching avidly. Harry sat down on the chair next to him. After a few moments, Draco lowered his wand, and fell silent. "It's done," he said, and wiped his forehead with his sleeve.

Ron got up. "Thanks, Draco. So if I walk through, what will happen?"

"Nothing," said Draco. "You're not a virgin."

"I'll test it," said Ron. He walked, very slowly and cautiously, through the Virginity Trap and up a few stairs. Just as Draco had predicted, nothing happened.

Draco smirked and stepped through the Trap himself. "So far, so good," he said.

Then Ron beckoned Harry. "Your turn," he said.

Feeling his cheeks burn, but also feeling very pleased that he had something to show, Harry got up and hurried through the Trap to Ron's side. Ron laughed. "Good on you, Harry. So who was it then? Cho?" He looked a little thoughtful. "Ginny?" Harry shook his head fractionally and glanced at his boyfriend, who grinned from ear to ear and draped a possessive arm around him.

Ron went white, then red. "I see..." he said faintly.

"It's lucky you didn't come wandering into our room a few hours earlier," said Draco.

Ron looked shaken "That's far too much information ... I think I need to sit down now," he said and staggered back to his chair.

Draco and Harry followed him and sat down as well. "Hermione's right. You need to get over this, Ron," said Harry, with a flash of annoyance.

"I will, mate. I will. Just give me time," gabbled Ron. He took a deep breath. "So, the Trap's ready. Now all we need to do is wait for Fred and George."

All three of them turned their heads at once, as the sound of footsteps came from the stairwell. But the person who turned the corner was not Fred or George.

It was Hermione. She was dressed in the robe and carrying her damp towel and pyjamas. From the top of the stairs, she spotted their intense, watchful expressions and sighed in resignation. "It's up, isn't it?" she asked.

"Sure is," said Draco, leaning back in his chair. Hermione looked hesitant, and Draco hastened to add: "It's harmless. It only captures virgins. You'll be able to walk through without any trouble."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yes, it's not like my lack of virginity is any secret, is it? Thanks to Ron," she said testily. She imitated Ron's voice. "You all know I've managed to get shagging!" Harry and Draco snickered and looked at Ron, and Ron, at least, had the grace to look embarrassed. A wicked glint came into Hermione's eyes, and she walked down a few more steps, until she stood right in front of the Trap, and then she started to pant and moan theatrically. Ron's face went crimson, Harry laughed and Draco jammed his hand in front of his mouth in an effort to stop sniggering.

Squeezing her eyes shut orgasmically, Hermione ran her free hand through her hair. "Oh, Ron! Yes, Ron, yes!" she moaned. Then she opened her eyes and beamed at her boyfriend's embarrassed expression, and walked straight through the Trap and into the kitchen. Harry and Draco gave her a round of applause.

"You asked for that, Ron," Hermione said, sitting down next to Harry and a still sniggering Draco. "So whose idea was it to put the Virginity Trap on a public thoroughfare?" she asked.

Ron looked guilty and Hermione rolled her eyes in frustration.

"You should take it down at once and put it up on the twin's bedroom door," she scolded. "If you leave the Virginity Trap here you're going to ... oh no! Did you hear that? Someone's coming!"

Harry could hear thudding footsteps coming down the stairs.

"It's Moody!" gasped Draco in alarm, and he got to his feet and took out his wand to remove the Virginity Trap, just as a tall, limping figure came into view. Harry saw Moody stiffen as his madly spinning magical eye spotted the invisible barrier and Draco, who was standing at the foot of the stairs with his wand raised. Moody snatched out his own wand and his scarred face knitted into a frown.

There wasn't a moment to lose. Harry leaped up and stood in front of Draco so that Moody couldn't shoot him down. "It's all right, Moody. The barrier is completely harmless!" he shouted.

"I'll be the judge of that, Harry," Moody growled, looking from Harry to Draco and back again. "Recognising and destroying Dark Magic was my job for forty years!" He limped closer to the Virginity Trap with his wand raised.

"It's not Dark-" began Draco nervously but he shut up when Moody flicked his wand in midair, as if testing the spell.

"YOU made this," said Moody softly, and both of his eyes rolled in the direction of Draco. Draco swallowed hard. "This is a Death Eater barrier."

"You're good! How can you tell?" asked Draco, looking flustered. Harry drew protectively closer to him.

Moody's wand slid over the invisible barrier. "Of course I'm good. I'm the best Auror the Ministry ever had," he boasted. He looked at Draco. "If you must know, I can tell a Death Eater made it, because the spell covers the entire door. Most wizards only use a line." His wand flicked and Moody's scarred face twisted into an expression of curiosity. "But this isn't a normal Death Eater barrier. I've never seen anything like it. It traps its victims, it doesn't just keep them out, and it doesn't detect Dark Marks. It detects..." Moody's real eye widened in astonishment, and he doubled over with coarse laughter.

Draco tensed.

"You little pervert!" Moody bellowed happily at the blond ex-Death Eater. "Why do you want to know if I'm a virgin?"

Pure horror crept over Draco's face. "I don't!" he said quickly.

Hermione looked smugly amused, as if she were itching to say, 'I told you so', but she said nothing aloud.

"It's my responsibility, Moody," said Ron. "I made Draco put the spell there because I wanted try it out on my brothers."

"I don't know if your brothers are virgins, Ron, but I do know that they're not the only people using these stairs. Didn't that occur to you?" said Moody, still shaking with laughter. "Quite a few of the Order are going to be walking through this barrier soon and we're all going to know their deepest secret." But before Ron could reply, a sly grin spread over Moody's scarred face. "Though it's not like I'VE got anything to hide!" He raised both arms in triumph and sauntered, limping, through the Trap, which did not stop him. "Go me! I lost my virginity decades ago and I've been putting it about ever since!" Moody bellowed proudly.

Ron moaned and covered his face with his hands. "That is TOO much information!" Hermione, Harry and Draco laughed, and Harry pulled his wide-eyed boyfriend back to the kitchen table and they both sat down again.

Moody limped over, and threw himself in the chair next to Ron. The chair creaked at the onslaught. "If you didn't want to know the truth, you shouldn't have forced it out of me with magic!" he cackled. Then he glanced at Draco. "He Who Must Not Be Named will kill you, boy, when he finds out you've corrupted his Dark Mark barrier like that."

Draco winced in fear, then straightened up on his chair with a look of determination on his face. "I figured as much. I'll just have to add my Virginity Trap to the long list of things the Dark Lord wants to kill me for," he said brazenly. He added, "He's got no sense of humour. Screw him!"

Moody's real eye positively twinkled at Draco. "That's the spirit!" he growled. "I had doubts about you at first, but you seem to be coming along nicely. For a Death Eater under an Unbreakable Vow, anyway." Moody's expression became sober, apparently at the thought of the Unbreakable Vow, and he gazed thoughtfully at Draco. Harry thought Moody was taking particular note of the daisy shaped bruises on Draco's neck. Draco gave Moody a nervous look in return and opened his mouth to speak, but Moody raised a hand. "Quiet!" He put his scarred head on one side and listened like a predator and then he grinned. "There are two people coming down the stairs!"

Draco got to his feet. "I'll take the Virginity Trap down!"

"No! I absolutely forbid it!" exclaimed Moody. Draco froze. The quartet looked at Moody in surprise and Draco slowly sat down again.

"This is the perfect chance for the Order to prove themselves," said Moody. "We're fighting a war here! Everyone needs to be on guard at all times and in all places for Dark Magic. Constant vigilance!" he bellowed and Ron and Draco flinched. "Those who don't spot the Trap, and work out what it is, should leave the Order. I'm going to enjoy watching this!"

The footsteps grew louder, and Fred and George appeared at the top of the stairs. "Morning!" shouted Fred. At least, Harry thought it was Fred. He'd never managed to work out which twin was which.

"What are you all sitting around for?" asked George. Harry realised that they must look odd, the five of them sitting in a row of chairs facing the stairs, so early in the morning.

Moody glared at the quartet to keep them quiet. Then he looked back at Fred and George. "We're waiting for the show..." he said.

"What show is that?" asked George, incautiously trotting down the stairs with Fred beside him.

Moody did not reply right away. He watched Fred and George draw closer, entirely oblivious to the Virginity Trap, until both of them tried to take another step and Harry saw their cheeks go white and flat, as if they'd pressed their faces up against a solid, invisible wall. Both twins yelped and tried to step backwards, but the spell caught them, and lifted them off the ground. They thrashed helplessly about in midair.

"...that show," finished Moody, with a leer.

Ron leaped to his feet and punched the air in victory. "You're VIRGINS!"

Fred and George struggled against the Virginity Trap. "No, we're not!" they yelled. But their ears and faces were turning crimson, and Harry could tell they were lying. Ron was doing a sort of victory dance all around the kitchen, involving much arm waving, leaping up and down and whooping.

"You bloody ARE virgins! And you walked right into a Dark Magic barrier without even spotting it! Pathetic! I wouldn't let you two join the Order if you paid me!" shouted Moody.

Fred and George yelled abuse at everyone, and hurled threats of violence against Ron, who was still dancing joyfully, but as they were still dangling in midair, their threats weren't very intimidating. Harry, Ron and Draco howled with laughter and Hermione's lips twitched, but otherwise she managed to maintain her disapproving expression.

"You can't deny that you're virgins. You're caught in a Virginity Trap! Look, it doesn't catch me!" laughed Ron, stepping forwards and backwards through the Trap.

"A woman would have to be mental to sleep with you!" yelled Fred. He winced and added, "I didn't really mean that!" when Hermione hurled her wet towel at him and it hit him in the face.

"All right, so we are virgins. We admit it! So what?" shouted George.

"Yeah, we've been too busy at the store to have time for ... oh, shut up Ron!" snarled Fred at his brother, who was on the floor on his hands and knees, thumping the floor with one fist and laughing so hard that he was crying. "Just you wait! We'll kill you when we get down!"

Ron looked up, alarmed, but Moody chuckled. "We can't have them killing you. You'll have to leave them up there, Ron! Good morning, Lupin! Tonks!"

"What's going on, Moody?" came Lupin's hoarse voice from the top of the stairs. Harry waved a cheery good morning to him and Tonks. He hadn't heard them walking down the stairs but that was hardly surprising, given all the noise Fred and George were making.

"You're supposed to work it out for yourself. These idiots didn't!" said Moody, pointing a thick finger at the struggling, swearing Weasley twins.

Lupin and Tonks glanced at the twins and walked towards the Virginity Trap with their wands out. Harry saw them both glance at Draco after a moment of testing the barrier, but then Lupin, followed by Tonks, burst out laughing.

"So you're virgins? I never would have guessed," said Lupin mildly, to the twins, as he strolled through the barrier hand in hand with Tonks.

"Err, maybe I should let you both down?" said Tonks. But Harry saw Moody wink at her and shake his head and Tonks shrugged and sat down at the kitchen table next to Lupin.

Harry was relieved to see, as more and more Order members came down the stairs, that every single one of them found the Virginity Trap funny. No one else was trapped, and the Order members who had found their way through first, sat at the kitchen table and watched and waved cheekily at those still walking down the stairs. Some of them even gave Draco a pat on the back before they sat down. They all seemed to share Moody's opinion that the Virginity Trap would put Draco into Voldemort's bad books, and this made Draco seem more trustworthy and safer to have around.

Unfortunately, Ron had climbed back onto his feet and was taunting his brothers when his mother came down the stairs.

"RONALD WEASLEY!"

Before long, Harry found himself, along with Draco and Ron, preparing breakfast for the entire Order as a punishment, under the watchful and furious eyes of Mrs Weasley. Moody had freed the twins, but this hadn't satisfied Mrs Weasley, who now had him passing out cutlery and plates. Moody wasn't the slightest bit penitent, and he winked his real eye at Harry across the room as Harry mixed a big pan of scrambled eggs. Ron, who was stirring a big pan filled with frying bacon and mushrooms, kept bursting out laughing for no apparent reason, and when he laughed, he set Harry and Draco off laughing as well. Mrs Weasley glared at them and muttered under her breath.

The twins sat sulkily by themselves. Harry could see them discussing something in quiet, urgent tones, but he couldn't hear them. The rest of the Order, apart from Mrs Weasley, seemed much more cheerful than they had the night before, and the kitchen was full of talking and laughter.

Harry, Ron and Draco were still bursting out laughing at random intervals when they sat down to eat. Hermione gave a little sniff to show that she wasn't speaking to any them, but Harry was pleased to see that Ron and Draco were now talking to each other as if they'd been friends all their lives. There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and proving that abusive older brothers are still virgins is one of them.

oOoOoOo

"We want to buy your Virginity Trap, Draco," chorused Fred and George.

Draco looked up coolly. He'd been chatting with Ron and Harry, over the last of their breakfast, about the relative merits of the Chudley Cannons versus the Falmouth Falcons Quidditch teams, and Harry saw that the Slytherin didn't look the least bit surprised at the twin's demand.

"You want to sell my Virginity Trap in your joke shop," stated Draco. His eyes were cool and unperturbed.

"That's right," said George. "We were just talking about it. We reckon we'll sell hundreds of them."

"But we think the real money will be in hats that make the wearer appear to NOT be a virgin, when they are," said Fred. "They'll be a huge demand, once we start selling Virginity Traps. The virgins won't want to be caught!"

Draco drummed his fingertips on the table and looked slyly at Fred and George. "You've clearly thought this all out. Sounds like my spell could make you a fortune," he said, leaning in his chair. "I MIGHT be open to negotiations. IF you're polite to me from now on, and Harry, Hermione, Ron and I get a share of the Virginity Trap profits." Fred and George spluttered, Hermione looked irritated, but Ron beamed. "And if you do the washing up instead of us," added Draco with a smirk, pushing his empty plate towards Fred, with one finger.

Muttering mutinously about manipulative Slytherins and a certain blond one in particular, the twins picked up all the empty plates and glasses on the table and headed for the sink.

"Wicked!" exclaimed Ron, watching his brothers doing Draco's bidding with delight.

"You've never had a Slytherin friend before, have you Ron?" asked Draco. His eyes glittered. "We're good value!"

"I see that!" said Ron happily. "I'm starting to think that there's nothing wrong with Slytherins - when they're on your side!"

Hermione gave a furious sigh. "If you boys have quite finished humiliating Fred and George and talking about Quidditch, we should get back to work," she said, impatiently. "Remember, V-Voldemort is still out there."

Ron and Draco flinched at the name, and Harry saw their faces fall. The quartet's mood suddenly became very serious.

"You're right, Hermione. We shouldn't be mucking around like this when we could be getting rid of HIM," said Ron, sounding chastened.

"So, how is the Order fighting him, may I ask?" said Draco. His grey eyes became fierce. "Why haven't you KILLED him yet?"

"We mean to," said Harry. He wondered how much he should tell Draco about Horcruxes, and decided it would be safest to say as little as possible. "There are certain things we have to do first."

"What things?" exclaimed Draco, "What could possibly be more important than killing that-?"

"Trust us, Draco," said Harry interrupted. "We know what we're doing and there are certain, unavoidable things that we need to do first." He took a deep breath and decided to take a small risk. "There are things that we must find."

"Things that will kill him?" demanded Draco.

Harry took a deep breath. "Yes," he said. It wasn't entirely true, but Harry reasoned that if he told Draco that destroying the things would leave Voldemort mortal, Draco might guess what kind of object they were. It didn't feel good to be keeping things from Draco. Harry had a strong impulse to trust him utterly and tell him everything.

"So where are those ... things?" asked Draco, looking vindicated.

"One of them Voldemort keeps by his side at all times, and we haven't been able to get close enough to him to get it," piped up Ron.

"There were other things too, but they've gone missing. Someone - we don't know who - has stolen them," said Hermione.

Draco looked at each of them in turn and took a deep breath. "I want to help you. But I don't know how much help I can be, if I don't even know what those things are," he admitted.

"Maybe there are other ways you can help us. Do you know where Voldemort is?" asked Harry.

Flinching at the name, Draco said, "No. I only ever saw him when he called me to his side through the Dark Mark. I never knew where he went afterwards." His expression hardened. "If I knew where he was, Harry, I'd tell you."

Harry nodded. Draco's eyes were unshielded by Occlumency and he looked highly desirable. Harry felt a small tingle of desire welling up and saw an answering gleam in Draco's pale eyes.

"Surely you have some idea who the thief is?" asked Draco.

"We think it's Voldemort," said Harry, and Draco and Ron winced. "Not many people knew about ... the things. I knew, and Dumbledore knew. A few of the top ranking Order knew about them as well. But that's all. And none of the Order members would have taken those things without telling anyone else."

"The thief actually stole one of the things directly from an Order member. Dumbledore's brother. The thief stupefied and robbed him," said Hermione.

Draco looked stunned, then jubilant. "Dumbledore has a brother?" he shouted, and some of the Order members in the kitchen turned their heads to glance at him.

Harry looked at Draco's ecstatic face. "Don't get too excited," he said dully. "He's not like Albus Dumbledore at all. He won't fight Voldemort for us, if that's what you think."

Draco flinched and looked disappointed. "What a shame! But, at least that proves one thing. If the thief left Dumbledore's brother alive, then the thief isn't V..." Draco choked on the name, and seemed frustrated with himself. "I mean, the thief isn't the Dark Lord."

"Maybe V-Voldemort didn't want to kill that day?" suggested Hermione.

"No," sneered Draco, in a tone of absolute certainty. "The Dark Lord and the Death Eaters kill every chance that they get. I-I saw it. They leave no one alive." Draco looked sickened at the memories. "Except you, Harry." Harry saw the quartet turn their heads to look at him in curiosity. "We had orders. The Dark Lord wants to k-kill you personally. On p-pain of death, we weren't allowed to h-harm you." Draco's voice shook, as if the thought of Harry being killed was horrifying.

"Strange," said Ron. "If He Who Must Not Be Named wants you dead, Harry, why would it matter who did it?"

"I don't know, but I've heard about those orders before," said Harry. "I heard Snape shouting at the Death Eaters, just after he'd killed Dumbledore." His hands clenched into angry fists.

"So the thief can't be V-Voldemort," said Hermione. "But if it's not a member of the Order, who else could it be?"

"Could someone have taken those things by accident?" asked Draco. "Just a random witch or wizard, or a Muggle?"

"No," said Hermione. "Some of them were hidden away with magic. Only a very, very powerful wizard or witch, with lots of practice at finding and fighting Dark Magic, could have taken them." She picked at her hair, as if remembering the seaweed that had been tangled up in it, from the sea cave she and Ron had fought their way through.

"Powerfully magical, but not the Dark Lord. Close to Dumbledore or they wouldn't have known about ... the things, whatever they are. But not a member of the Order," said Draco thoughtfully. A smug, triumphant smile spread over his face. "I can't believe you three. You're stumped? Isn't it OBVIOUS who the thief is?"

"It might be obvious to you, but no, it's not to us! Harry was saying yesterday that we needed a fresh perspective," said Hermione. "So, who do you think it is, Draco?"

Draco sat up straight, looking every inch the superior, pure-blood aristocrat. He grinned at the three of them. "It was your lucky day when I came along! I can help you after all," he boasted. "The wizard I'm thinking about is one of the most powerful in the world, and he was one of Dumbledore's best friends for years. I bet he's gathering those things so that he can use them against the Dark Lord." Draco glanced around with satisfaction at their fascinated faces, and leaned forward conspiratorially. Harry, Hermione and Ron leaned forward too, with eager looks on their faces. "The thief is Severus Snape!" Draco whispered dramatically.

Harry saw a flare of understanding in Hermione's eyes. Ron merely looked confused.

But Harry frowned angrily. "SNAPE?" he bellowed and the rest of the quartet winced at the yell so close to their ears. They leaned back.

Heads turned in the kitchen. Even Fred and George looked up from the washing up.

"Harry, keep your voice down," said Hermione uncomfortably.

Harry made an effort to lower his voice. It took a lot of effort. Hot rage was bubbling up inside him, at the very thought of the old head of Slytherin. "Snape is a cold-blooded murderer and he's Voldemort's second-in-command, Draco. You can't seriously believe that he's on our side and collecting ... the things ... for our benefit. If he's collecting them, he's probably giving them to Voldemort."

Draco made an obvious effort to out stare Harry and not flinch at the name. "Professor Snape isn't a cold-blooded murderer. He was forced to kill Dumbledore. We've talked about this before," he said bravely.

"Yes we have, and I said-" Harry began but Hermione cut him off, though Harry's anger was clearly making her nervous.

"I think you're right, Draco," she said. "Snape really is the only person it could be. But how can we know for sure he's got those ... things?"

"Send him a letter by owl and ask him," said Draco instantly.

Harry snorted and Ron said, "He's a high ranking Death Eater, Draco. He's got anti-tracking spells and all sorts of security. Highly-trained Ministry Aurors can't find Snape, let alone an owl."

"My owl would find him," said Draco. "He's a close friend of my family."

Hermione's face lit up.

Harry gave a humourless laugh and stared incredulously at Hermione and Draco. "I don't believe it! You're both actually entertaining the idea that Snape could still be working for the Order - even though he killed Dumbledore right in front of me! What does Snape have to do to prove he's evil to you two? Get on a broomstick and skywrite, 'I, Severus Snape, am a slimy, greasy, evil, murdering git. Bwahahahaha!'?" Harry's voice rose and Hermione and Ron winced.

"Steady on, Harry. You're being a bit silly," said Ron. Harry glared at him and Ron fidgeted.

Hermione looked frightened.

But Draco's face was furious and implacable. "He's not evil, Harry, and I'll soon have proof," he said, giving Harry a quelling look. "I sent Professor Snape a letter last night with Hedwig. If owl post takes the usual amount of time, I should have his reply within two hours."

Harry felt his stomach drop to his feet. "You sent my owl to the man who killed Dumbledore? Draco - you've killed her! I had Hedwig since first year! She was my pet!" he choked.

"I haven't killed her, Harry," said Draco, in a voice of forced calm. "You'll see her soon."

"Draco, why did you send Snape a letter?" asked Hermione, in a fluttery, nervous voice.

"To let him know I'm okay," said Draco. "He's the closest thing to a parent I've got now."

"How could you?" snarled Harry, who wasn't really listening anymore. "Poor Hedwig!"

"He's determined to hate Snape," said Hermione to Draco. "He always has been."

"Dumbledore said that to me once, and look what happened to him!" shouted Harry.

"Harry, Hedwig is probably okay. I'm SURE she's okay, and this letter could be very helpful to us," said Hermione There was a bit of anger mixed up with her nervousness. "Please! Give Hedwig a chance! At least wait until the two hours is up before you go into mourning."

Abruptly, Harry got to his feet. "Fine! I will! But don't expect me to wait near you three!" he spat and stormed off up the stairs.

oOoOoOo

Author's Notes: Just a subtle, quiet request - I LOVE REVIEWS! PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! Go oooon! The review field is only a couple of seconds of scroll down away, and you'll make my day! ;-)

Replies to Reviews: Fifty-five reviews to reply to this time. Thanks everyone! ;-) Avalene: Thanks for all your reviews! Ch.17 - Ron's not technically a virgin, but I guess he was a slash virgin, up until that point! Ch.14 - Love the crazy fangirl squeal of doom! Ch.13 - Glad you're amused! Ch.11 - Thanks! Same to you! ;-) Ch.10 - This review looks cut off! Ch.9 - Thanks! Ch.8 - Yes, the Vow will be driving them up the wall. But they ain't so little! ;-) Ch.7 - Don't you think a stampede of warthogs would be a rather quick way for Umbridge to die? I've got a method in mind that will take AGES! Bwahahahaha! ;-) Ch.6 - Devious, and loveless (though that's not surprising!) Ch.4 - Thanks! Must read your fic! Ch.3 - Thanks! Ch.2 - Hugs back! GaiazHeart: I think the twins were even more embarrassed than Harry this chapter! Wolf Queen 14: I will kill Umbridge in a later chapter. ;-) silver drgon: Thanks very much! Ron was a bit shaken! HecateDeMort: Thanks! ;-) xoxSasukexox: Thanks! I sent this chapter too, but I haven't heard back from you yet. I'll edit this chapter when I see your reply. I wonder how many times I'll have left out the word 'that' this time? ;-) Darkna: Thanks for your review and putting me in your alerts. Riku-Rocks: Thanks. I haven't read all that many Harry/Draco fics but I'm glad you think my fic is believable. Crowley Black: Thank you! I'll use my evil laughter now. Bwahahahahaha! ;-) GreenEyedCatDragon: Poor Ron was shocked, but he really needs to get over it. Good on you for spotting the fact that Harry's more like Draco's bodyguard than the other way around! ;-) Kit turned Mighty: Heh, heh, thanks for the lovely review! Glad you liked the...progression...in the story! Lily Elizabeth Snape: Grin! Made you swear! ;-) emeraud.silver: Ron really needs to get over it! musicalsilence: What an enthusiastic review! Thanks! I'll try to update faster. Katharina-B: Thank you! I've never read a 'Ron walks in on Harry and Draco shagging' fanfic before. Darn it! I thought I'd invented something new! Oh well... ;-) Ari Maxwell00909: Waaa! My invention has been used before. ;-) Must invent something really new. I guess that means reading more H/D so I know what's out there. Anyone got recommendations? ggggggggggg: Ch.13 - Moody would put a jinx on you for that! ;-) Ch.5 - Thanks! Bishou: Thank you very much for your review! I hope this chapter was suitably cliffhangery! Yellowwolf: Happy New Year! Harry's scar will definitely show up again in this fanfic... Black Padfoot: Thanks. The Vow is still there. There will be more about it in the next chapter. Jane-Lily: Thanks very much! It's very flattering to be told The Bodyguard is one of the best post HBP fics out there. ;-) ElvenTwinLover: Thanks! There will be shaggy stuff in nearly every chapter from now on. Draco just wants Harry... ;-) Shame Ness2: Ron shouldn't be upset, but he is, poor baby! ;-) Thanks for the review! Ladyichabod: Thanks for your review! I set out to write an angst fic but it seems to be turning into a comedy/adventure fic, though there will be some angst later. I don't normally like angst much - I find it frustrating. You look at the characters suffering away with secret loves and problems and you think, "A 30 second conversation would relieve this angst completely! Why don't you two learn how to communicate?" ;-) Draco switches personalities a lot but I made him like that in the hope he'd be more canon. Canon!Draco is a mercurial little bugger. The second time we see him, he goes from asking Harry to be his friend, to giving Harry death threats and trying to steal his food, in under a minute! I agree about what you think about Ron. I always thought Canon!Ron had a lot of growing up to do. anonymous: Thanks letting me know about painless j's Livejournal. I found lots of good HP fics reviewed there. But she hasn't reviewed this fic! I guess it's not good! SOB! ;-) JacobimVonStyluss: Thanks very much! Great review! This fic needs more Mellow!Harry, though I always get worried when I'm writing him that he's not in character and I feel I should make him angry! ;-) Glad you liked the sex scene! I think I should go back and turn all the 'pants' to 'trousers' to make it properly British. ;-) T.Felton: Thanks! Very good guesses there:-) NinjaoftheDarkness: Thank you! Ron would be shocked to hear he's a pervert! Moody's more of a perv! ;-) wizli: Oh, excellent guesses:-) Thanks for your review! And thanks for letting me know about those other fanfiction sites. Witch2b: Oh, yes. Harry's a top all right! Thanks for your review! The Earth Mystic: Oh no! I've sent you crazy! Will that happen every time a chapter has shagging? ;-) fei-yen: Good guess! ;-) 2007 isn't looking bright: Thanks, I'm glad it's not stereotypical. I hope this chapter was funny. ProperT: Yes, they should have remembered Ron wanted them to wake up early. Then they might have remembered to lock the door! Emu Alive and Kicking: Another good guess! Yes, the chapter did move very fast. From enemies to sex to dating to I love you. Interesting that you mentioned the Vow! ;-) Stefania Mo: Bwahahahah! ;-) miME-chan: Thanks! I do know what a lemon is, and I think the last chapter (and probably this one too) qualified as lemons. Lisa: Ummm, I hope it's rated T. Not for children? That would be T, wouldn't it? (I'm not very familiar with the rating system.) Yes, it is strange that Draco loves Harry after only a few days of knowing him. ;-) Crick118: Thanks very much. I consider 'highly realistic' to be the highest praise! ;-) I would love to think that HP/DM could happen in the canon. It's about time that gay relationships in literature went mainstream. Potter's Wifey: Thanks! MayuBlack: Thanks! Yes, something's happening with the Vow. karenelaine: I agree that the entire Ministry should be checked for Dark Marks, but I doubt Umbridge or Percy have them. People don't need to have sworn allegiance to Voldemort in order to be utter scum. Airlady: Thanks very much! More chapters following...