Author's Note: Wow! Thanks for all the reviews! I love all this response to my story! I'm glad you all like it; because I didn't think my comic chops were anything special. Can anyone tell me what a beta is, and if I need one? Thanks.
Edward dashed up the stairs, his insulted siblings close behind. This might have made me laugh, if it weren't for the sheer fact that Edward and his siblings were vampires with superhuman speed and strength. That made me a little nervous. We reached the top of the staircase, and Edward rounded the corner. He was moving so swiftly down the hall, that I couldn't see anything. He made a run for Alice's room, and was in and slammed the door before I could blink. He set me down, and turned around to lock it.
"Isn't locking that door a bit pointless? Someone could rip that door off the hinges as easily as ripping a piece of paper." The pounding on the door was deafening. I almost, okay, scratch that. I did expect a fist to come through the thick wood of the door.
Edward smiled. "They wouldn't dare. Esme would kill them."
"Do you mind telling me why we're in Alice's room, instead of yours?" I was a little confused by that.
He looked at me like I was stupid. "The computer's in here. If we're going to read some fan fiction about ourselves, we might as well do it together. I need someone to bounce my thoughts off of, and who better to bounce them off, than you? Besides, I'd feel really awkward reading fan fiction about sex with, say, Alice or Emmett." He cringed and narrowed his eyes. "Especially Emmett."
From the hallway, I could hear Emmett's hurt response "Hey! I've always been your go to guy about intimate things. God, Edward, remind me that I really, really need to talk to you about your slang." After that, there were assorted giggles from the others. Edward sighed and dragged me further into the room.
"Maybe we should look up the stories that go along with the titles you found online," he said. The laughter and pounding in the hallway suddenly stopped. I would have bet money that their ears were pressed up to the door. "Because those were pretty interesting, especially because they weren't about us." He emphasized the last three words, and it was obvious that they weren't for me. The pounding on the door started up again double time. Edward sighed, and crossed the room to the door, flung it open, and stood in the frame. I stood behind him, jumping to try to see over his shoulder. When I finally achieved that, I burst into laughter. All four of them were crowded in a two square foot space. Emmett and Rosalie were holding each other with one arm, and pounding on the door with the other. Alice and Jasper were pounding on the door with both hands. Edward cracked up, too.
"Okay, guys, let me say a couple things, before you try to maul me." Judging from the looks on their faces right then, I would have to say that it took a lot of control not to maul him. "First, Emmett, you are not my go to guy about sex, or anything related to it. Sports, yes, but not sex." He said this quickly, before Emmett could interrupt him "Next, I have a proposal. Each of us couples gets two hours in the room to read the fan fiction about us. Bella and I go first, because we made it up here first. After that, it's up to you who goes next. Just be careful not to break anything, okay?"
Everyone looked at him like he was on drugs. Then Alice nodded her head. Jasper followed suit. Emmett looked agreeable, and Rosalie said "That would work."
"Good, now everyone go downstairs so we can talk about this privately. I mean it, go!" He turned and shut the door, and turned the lock. He crossed the room again, and sat in the computer chair. I went over to him. There was nowhere to sit. I looked around, and saw nothing. I settled for the floor. Edward looked down, and rolled his eyes. "What am I going to do with you?" He mocked impatience. He grabbed a remote from the desk, and pressed a button. Music flowed into the room, and I couldn't quite tell from where.
"Um, I don't know. What are you going to do with me?" I played along. Edward rolled his eyes again, and picked me up from the floor. He sat me on his lap. Then, he opened several windows in the computer. Fan fictions about Edward and I popped up. He read them aloud for me. At one point in the middle of a story, I burst out laughing. I would never do that with my hands! This stuff was really graphic, and I didn't like the way they made me out to be so clumsy. I didn't fall down all the time. Edward didn't have to be constantly picking me up. I looked over at him a couple of times. The first time, he looked like he was going to laugh. The second time, during a story about bondage, he didn't look so happy. Considering it was him that was being dominated, I would hope not. We got a really good look at what was being written about us. I asked Edward if that was how it really was, he gave me the 'are you on crack?' look again.
"Of course not! It's….different. I asked Carlisle how it was." He stopped, obviously embarrassed. Our two hours were almost up, and we hadn't made quite the dent I would have liked. There were so many stories! Why were people so interested in us? I didn't understand. Edward got up, and was pacing the room, and I clicked on a new story. It had taken place after Edward left me, and we had reunited, and he changed me. It was about our first time as a vampire couple. I read, amused, and then I felt Edward's presence over my shoulder. "That's not how it would go. You would be too out of control to even think about sex. You'd be fixed on finding food."
"Oh. That doesn't sound very….."
"Appealing?" He finished my thought.
"Exactly. Not very appealing. I think I like these versions better. Especially the bondage one." I played with him, dancing around him, and poking his stomach. He laughed, and tackled me. Both of us sunk to the floor. I had my legs wrapped around his waist, and he was leaning in to kiss me, when the pounding started again. I sighed, and Edward sighed, and we got up off the floor. Well, Edward got up, I was picked up. I flung the door open this time, and they were all standing there.
"Your two hours are up. It's time for you to come out." Emmett said. He was obviously anxious to read the stuff about him. "And time for Rose and I to go in."
Alice gave him a look. "Who says it's your turn?" She elbowed him in the ribs. Emmett doubled over, and Rosalie shot Alice a death glare before bending down to help her husband up. Alice and Jasper traded conspiratorial winks and hi-fives.
"Okay. If you really want to come in here and read the stuff about you, then you can. But you have to go to the end of the hallway, and line up. Give Edward a chance to get out. We'll go to the end of the hall, and I'll say go. It'll be like a race, and whoever wins, gets the two hours." Edward was behind me by now. He walked out of the door, grabbing my hand, and towing me out of the room. Everyone else followed. We reached the end of the hallway, and they lined up. Edward signaled to me, and I said go. They took off so fast that I couldn't see them. Someone must have tripped Emmett, because he tumbled and fell against a door frame. But faster than I could see, he was back in action. There was snapping, and growling, and exchanged insults. They had reached the end of the hallway, and were trying to get past each other, and into the room. Only one couple made it in, though. They slammed the door, and I could faintly hear the lock turning.
The two losers stood in the darkened hallway. The woman's voice was chastising. "I can't believe you lost. Now, we're going to be the last couple to see the stories! God!" She stomped toward us, and into the light. I was surprised that they hadn't won. I really thought they would. She brushed past us, and down the stairs. Edward and I traded smug looks.
"C'mon, give them their privacy. They deserve it. After all, they won the race." Edward motioned to the man, who was still in the darkened hallway. "I can't believe you lost."
Emmett scowled.