Author's Note: The POVs are going to keep changing from here on out. As much as you all like to read from Bella's point of view (and I like to write from it) I have to change it….so be warned. Anyway, thanks for all the spectacular reviews! Now on with the story!

After Emmett's crippling loss to Jasper and Alice, we all headed downstairs. I noticed that Esme was not back from her lunch with Carlisle. I asked Edward where she was, and Edward's eyes darted to the clock on the wall. "Um, I really don't know where they would be. It's two o'clock now, and his lunch ended an hour ago."

"She went shopping in Seattle. She told me she was going before she left." Rosalie shouted from the kitchen. "She offered to Alice and I, but we had more pressing matters at hand." Her voice was full of laughter.

"Ha ha. You guys are next to read the fan fiction, and I don't think you should be laughing about 'pressing matters' because I got a good look at what was written about you. And it's not pretty." Edward's voice was full of venom.

Emmett scowled from the living room. He was sprawled on the couch, and all of a sudden, his face went from scowl-y to smiley. His eyes lit up. "Hey, Edward, you never told us what was written about you and Bella." His eyes darted from Edward to me, and back. "Care to share?"

"Not really. It's none of your business, and just to make sure, I blocked all the stories pertaining to Bella and I. So there." And in a totally un-Edward moment, he stuck his tongue out at Emmett. My mouth dropped open, as Rosalie stepped into the room.

"What happened?" She sounded puzzled.

"Edward stuck his tongue out at me. I'm surprised at you Edward. OH! That reminds me. We need to have that talk about your slang. And how it's in dire need of updating."

Edward sauntered into the room, and sat himself down on a sofa. I followed, and as soon as I sat down, I felt his arms around me. Rosalie sat near Emmett, and his arms were around her too. I'd never seen them act like a couple before, so this was new to my eyes. Edward broke the silence. "Let the slang lesson begin." He sounded so excited. Not.

Emmett looked surprised. "Okay. First of all, we need to talk about the word intimate. Old people say that word. People who were born in the early 1900's say that word. You, shouldn't be saying that word. That word" He got cut off by Edward.

"That word is entirely acceptable. It's not vulgar. I have a feeling some of the words you're going to attempt to get me to use are very vulgar. End of speech."

"Thank god for that. Anyway, nerds use words like intimate" Emmett looked at Edward poignantly. Edward scowled back. "Now, some alternate cool words would be: Sexual, copulate, cozy, hot, together,"

"Enough! I've heard enough. Hot? Why hot?" Edward had a strange look on his face.

"No clue, I threw it in on a whim."

"Smart, Emmett. Real smart."

"Shut up, Edward, I'm just as smart, and I'm just as much of a gentleman. I'm just a little more with it. I'm a little bit cooler."

"When you say things like 'with it', it really makes me doubt that your cool factor is as high as you say it is." Edward smirked.

"Bella, have you had enough of the boy's bickering? I certainly have." Rosalie was looking directly at me." I nodded fervently.

"We are men!" Edward and Emmett said simultaneously. Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Sure you are. Whatever you say. Come with me, Bella." I untangled myself from Edward, and hopped up. Rosalie rose fluidly, and took my arm. We went up the stairs together.

"What was that all about? Rose and Bella don't usually hang out." I heard Emmett say to Edward.

Rosalie and I looked at each other, and laughed. In fact, since the Cullens had returned to Forks, Rosalie and I had become quite close. Alice, Rosalie and I formed a great group of friends. They were great shopping partners, and they never tired of doing my hair or dressing me up, which was something I didn't like, but Edward appreciated. We headed up to her room, and her cavernous bathroom. I had the feeling I was in for some primping.

Alice's POV

Jasper and I made it to the room. Yes! Jasper had successfully tripped Emmett, slowing them down. Rosalie had snapped at Jasper's head. She missed. Doesn't she know that Jasper's faster than her? I laughed to myself, and turned to lock the door. I heard Rose chastise Emmett. Rough break. Oh well, they would get their turn soon enough. I turned to the computer area. Jasper was reading something already.

"Hey, I thought we were going to read it together! Jasper!"

"I'm a slower reader than you."

"Oh, please. You finish books in a matter of minutes." I was hearing none of his excuses. I'd been married to him for some time now. I knew him better than he knew himself. I crossed the room, and turned on my charm. I pushed in the keyboard, and turned the big black leather chair toward me. Jasper did look surprised. I straddled him. Come to think of it, I didn't really know why I was doing this. I quickly planted a line of kisses along his neck and jaw, ending at his lips. I kissed him deeply, and then turned the chair back around, and started to speed read to catch up with him. I turned back to him. He looked dazed. "Jasper? Are you okay?"

He shook his head. "Yeah, I'm fine." He concentrated on the screen.

I smiled. He would never admit the affect I had on him. Just like I would never admit the effect he has on me. Every time I look into his eyes, or he reaches out to touch me, every cell in my body sings. If my heart worked, I'm sure it would stop. I loved him. And I would never leave him.

All of a sudden, he started laughing. I looked at him, and he pointed to a spot on the screen. Wow! People were so kinky! Whipped cream?

Jasper and I spent the next two hours alternately cracking up, and being very annoyed. I was not the shopping addict/ditzy little pixie people were making me out to be. True, I did enjoy shopping, but not that much. Jasper was annoyed at how quiet he was made out to be, and how he always went along with the program. He was kind of a back round character. I felt for him. But, that's not how he is. In fact, he's very loud when he wants to be, and stubborn too. That's what I love about him: his many facets.

We laughed a lot. The words people used! Snap, whiff, dominate, wicked. I have to admit, the people who write these things sure are creative. I couldn't believe some of the things they wrote about! And they seriously underestimate Edward's ability to block out certain voices. He'd never listen to us while we were….well, you know. He told me once that he blocks everyone's thoughts when he comes into the house. He doesn't listen to us here. He says it's not fair. And he's right.

With about 20 minutes in our 2 hour time slot left, Jasper and I decided we'd had enough. We'd read about 300 stories, and all that explicit content was making me nervous. I quickly blocked all the stories about us from the rest of the family. I didn't really want them reading about us. Especially when a very few of those stories were kind of accurate.

I closed the windows we'd been looking at, and then Jasper and I settled down on the bed to talk. In his arms, I felt like I had no worries. I rested my head on his shoulder, and closed my eyes. As he talked, I could feel his voice rumbling in his chest.

"Alice? Are you listening?"

"No, sorry. What did you say?"

"Nothing, it doesn't matter."

"Okay…" I was going to say something more, but there was knocking at the door. I jumped off the bed, and quickly turned the lock. Bella was standing there.

"The 2 hours are up, guys. It's Rose and Emmett's turn." She peeked around the corner. Jasper waved at her. She waved back, and then turned to me again. "Could you possibly finish what Rose started? I don't really feel comfortable walking around like this." Her hair was half done. The right side was curled, and the left side was twisted up in a pink claw clip. Her makeup was halfway done as well. What was Rose doing to her? She looked awful. But, again, she was only halfway done. The current look was somewhat comical.

"Of course Bella, go to Rosalie's bathroom, and I'll be there in a minute." I shut the door, and turned to Jasper. "It's Rose and Emmett's turn."

"I figured as much." He smiled.

"What?"

I'm just thinking about how pissed Rose and Emmett are going to be once they read those stories. Rose sort of comes off as a hag, and Emmett comes off as really stupid." He started laughing. I did too.

"Yeah, that's something we can't miss."

Jasper feigned shock. "You mean eavesdrop?"

"That's exactly what I mean. But, I have to go help Bella. Rose left when she was halfway done with her hair and makeup. I have to finish it."

"So I'm going to be minus my partner in crime?" he looked sad.

"Looks like it for the moment. I'm sorry, Jasper." I kissed him on the lips, and headed towards Rosalie's bathroom. Bella was in need of my help. As I entered the bathroom, I could hear Jasper yell.

"Rooms free!" Then I heard running. Rose and Emmett slammed my door, and locked it.

I sighed. It was going to be a long two hours. More waiting.