Inside
Chapter 2: On Dumbledore's Death
At least Harry would be safe. That was the thought running through my mind the entire time, even up to the very end. Poor Draco. I wish he'd listened. I really could have helped him. Alas, he did not have a chance to make up his mind. When Severus arrived, I felt my stomach cramp in anxiety. I felt very, very bad for him. He did what I asked and he did what he promised. I saw the hate on his face as he raised his wand and I saw the anger etched in his eyes as his killing curse hit me. It was quite a painful experience I must admit. But then I was thrown off the tower and hit the ground. That didn't hurt at all because I was already dead.
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Damn. Damn, damn, damn. I just couldn't do it. I know he'll punish me and I'm scared. Yes, imagine that, me scared. But I'd be out of my mind not to be frightened of the Dark Lord. Snape did it for me. Killed the old man right there. I wanted to prove myself but no. I couldn't. Everything I worked so hard for seemed to vanish at that point. My father is still in Azkaban. And I miss him. Yes, I do. It's strange because he was pushy and mean and would patronize me. But I miss him. I really hope the Dark Lord doesn't kill him. Or me. I really would rather not die. I really hope I don't die, I'm only 16 for god's sake. I'm only 16…
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It was like my heart was being torn out. I had just started to get over Sirius's death and then this happens. Dumbledore was my friend, teacher, advisor and protector. And now he's gone. Forever. I can't believe it. I can't get the idea through my head that I'll never ever see him sitting in the Headmaster's chair again. I want to cry for him, but the tears aren't coming. The other night I just sat on my bed and stared at the wall until it got dark, not really seeing anything. It was horrible. Whatever happens, whatever the reason, I will not forgive him. That slimy greaseball of a teacher killed Dumbledore and I will not forget it. I will kill him and avenge my parents, whom he led to their deaths, and Dumbledore who he betrayed. I am through being kind and loving. I am through being understanding and reasonable. Now I'm angry and my wrath will be as permanent as my scar. I am ready.