x-o-o-x

Chapter 23

The Mourning After

x-o-o-x

"If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream."

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

x-o-o-x

For hours after the school had stopped quaking, there was utter chaos. Students were rushed from their Common Rooms onto the grounds so as to avoid falling debris as the ancient castle itself seemed to fall apart. Their voices cried out in dismay as they saw the shambles of Hogsmeade in the distance and saw what had become of the forest where a hard-fought battle between centaurs and vampires had occurred. Even know smoke settled like a blanket over the lake. In the distance, three broomsticks touched down and three students came forward to join their peers.

As the students were rushed out, the wounded were rushed back in. Madam Pomfrey was up to her neck in wounded and more kept coming in.

"Poppy," Professor McGonagall said, weaving her way in and out of the throngs of students outside the infirmary's doors, "where did all of these come from?"

"Most are bruises from the shaking," Madam Pomfrey replied briskly, sticking a spoon roughly into one student's mouth. "But there are more serious injuries coming in now. We should clear away most of these to the Great Hall—"

"The Great Hall is in no condition to accommodate students," Professor McGonagall said quietly. At the nurse's surprised look, the Deputy Headmistress put a finger to her lips, not wanting to frighten the younger students. "But we need to get them from here… there are others that need seeing to, others with more serious conditions."

Madam Pomfrey nodded and quickly had the older students take the injured younger students down towards the Library. As they continued away, Professor Snape suddenly arrived, his gaze serious. "Severus!" McGonagall breathed, seeing the professor and feeling an almost-giddy relief at his survival. "I thought for certain you were dead."

Snape smirked; he knew that he would defeat Travers, but it didn't mean that the rest of his fellow staff members had such faith in him. "Just alive enough to see what I can do, Minerva," he said quietly, glancing back and forth at those cradling their heads or wincing with broken bones. "Is this the extent of it?"

"I fear not," McGonagall murmured. "There are other students that are injured worse I fear. When I passed by the Great Hall there were…" Her voice failed her and she pressed a hand to her chest, as though her heart couldn't take the thought of her beloved students buried beneath the rubble.

"I found Miss Potter on the fourth floor, but when I went back to retrieve her, she was gone," Snape replied.

"She survived the fight at Hogsmeade," McGonagall said pensively, staring off into the distance.

"Not everyone did," a different voice piped in. The two turned to a pair of individuals. There was a man propped between them, a gaping hole in his chest where his heart used to be. One of the pair was a Watcher and the other was one of the girls from California, her dark hair streaked with blood.

Professor McGonagall realized that Rupert Giles was the first of their deceased.

"He isn't the only one," Wesley murmured after Rupert had been set upon a stretcher, a sheet drawn over his head. "There are others in Hogsmeade."

"There are others everywhere," Cordelia replied sharply.

"Is either of you two seriously injured?" At their shaking heads, McGonagall made up her mind. "Perhaps you two would care to assist with recovery?"

"We will find as many as we can to help," Wesley assured her before turning to Cordelia. "I thought I saw Faith's brother and Remus headed upstairs."

"When I ran across Willow and Tara, they were looking for Buffy," Cordelia added. "But we'll do what we can."

Professor McGonagall bowed her head gratefully. "That is all I ask."

She watched as the pair left. Already, her gaze filled with sorrow as she carefully stepped past the stretcher, gazing out the large windows that overlooked the grounds. Already the sun was beginning to dip towards the horizon, signaling the end of the day. She closed her eyes as an immense exhaustion filled her. She wanted to close her eyes and stay asleep for days, but there wasn't enough time.

Already, she could hear the singing…

x-o-x

"Blimey, look at the damage," Sirius commented to Remus as the two continued their painfully slow movement to the Astronomy Tower.

"Brings back memories, doesn't it?" Remus asked quietly. At Sirius' sudden pensive look, he couldn't help but laugh. "I didn't mean to make you all moody, Padfoot."

"Ah, Moony, you read my mind," Sirius replied jovially. "I think we should get to remember the last time we were all up here together."

Remus couldn't stop laughing at the memory of the two of them, Peter and James coming up here on the night before their leaving ceremony to carve their names into the notch of stone on the tower.

"We're getting closer," Sirius said as they walked through a hallway, gazing at the amazing amount of glass and debris littering the ground. "I think we should—"

"Sirius!" Remus's voice was sharp, direct. The other man turned to follow Remus' gaze until he realized just what his friend was looking at. He felt his heart stop beating, felt as though time had stopped. His eyes widened as he fell to his knees, his mouth stretching into an endless scream.

"NO!"

With an angry bellow, he pulled his sister's body into his arms. "No, no, no, no, no, no…" Sirius murmured, pushing her hair from her face and patting at her pale cheeks. "No, no, no, no…"

Remus calmly placed his hand on Faith's neck but felt nothing. Judging by the anxious expression on her face and the fact her eyes were still open, he could only assume she had been taken by a Killing Curse. "Sirius, she's gone."

"No, no, no…" the other man wept. "Not now… not now… too soon… NO!"

Remus allowed Sirius a moment in his grief as he held his sister, her cold body solid against his quivering warmth. He longed to hear her voice again, to hear her laughter, to hear anything! They had had such precious little time together… he never got to know her at all… her favorite color, her favorite biscuit, whether or not she actually cared for dogs…

"Sirius," Remus said, gently putting his hand on Sirius's shoulder as the man cried out again, all of his grief and pain accumulating into an endless shout that seemed to echo all around them. "We must find Harry."

Sirius tearfully set Faith to the ground, using a trembling hand to brush her eyes closed. His face tightened in agony as he stood as though in great physical pain before he turned to Remus. "I… I hardly knew her…"

"I know," Remus replied, not knowing what he could say that would attempt to comfort his dearest friend. "But we must look for Harry."

Sirius nodded, his gaze sliding past Remus and along the floor. His stricken look was enough to let Remus know that he had found what they were looking for. Remus turned and lifted several beams that had fallen from the ceiling. His eyes narrowed as he saw Harry's face. His scar was bright red against his pale skin and there was no movement. "Harry?" Remus said softly, tapping at the younger boy's face. "Harry?"

"Oh, please, not them both," Sirius begged as he dropped to his knees, assisting Remus as they lifted Harry from the rubble. "Please, not him too!"

Harry's body was not nearly as firm as Faith's. When Remus pressed his fingers to Harry's neck, he let out a soft sigh as he felt a weak tremble beneath his fingertips. "He's alive."

Sirius started tearing up again as they got Harry propped between them. But it was nothing compared to the look of tender agony on his face as they again passed Faith's body. "We can come for her later, all right?" Remus asked his friend as they began the long journey back to the infirmary.

"Right," Sirius replied in a woolen tone. "I can come and I can take her home again."

Remus felt his heart break for his friend as they continued on. There was little that could be said. But knowing that Voldemort was dead and his dark forces scattered was enough to give him a small moment of triumph. They heard the songs of the students sung outside from the broken windows. It was lovely, joyous… as soothing as the song from a phoenix.

Two floors down, Willow and Tara moved carefully from room to room, wincing at the amount of ceiling, wall or a combination of the two blocking their way. Tara used a small enchantment to push some of the larger chunks from their path as they ducked into another room. This room was also strewn with blood, two bodies on the floor. From what they saw, they had both been gutted by Inferi.

"This is horrible," Willow whispered as she and Tara quickly left the room.

"I never knew anything could be capable of such evil," Tara admitted.

"I guess you've never hung out with a vampire Slayer before," Willow said with quiet conviction.

"I guess I'll have to find time for it."

"Oh, no, I didn't mean you had to… I'm just saying that you probably don't get to see these things everyday. I only did because of Buffy. I didn't mean that you didn't see anything."

"I didn't mean to set you off," Tara replied cheekily. "You are too cute when you babble."

Willow's mouth opened and closed as her face tinted pink. "I like babbling," she protested under her breath as they approached another room. After they pushed the door open, they found that there was a body against one of the columns. Willow was about to turn away when she noticed a familiar wand against Tara's shoe.

"Oh, goddess," Tara murmured as she glanced at the bloodied form before them.

"Buffy?" Willow gasped, rushing forward. Buffy was leaning on a column that was slick with blood. She sat in a large pool of it. Her eyes were half-closed and a thin trail of fluid ran from the corner of her mouth, dripping softly to the marble tile. Her chest had been pried open and her once lovely corset top had been nearly shredded. It looked as though half of her innards were hanging out. "Buffy?"

"Willow…"

"No!" Willow murmured, getting to her feet and backing away. "We… we need…"

"Wil…"

"No!" Willow shouted indignantly. "She is my best friend. I'm not… not…" Turning on her heel, she sped towards the back of the classroom and kicked the door open, screaming out into the hall, "Help! Somebody help us!" She repeated it until her throat ached and tears burned in her eyes. "HELP!"

She heard footsteps approaching as two figures suddenly appeared, their identical faces somber. Willow stopped screaming and stared at them in disbelief. This was exactly the last thing she needed, the two twins that apparently never took a day seriously in her life.

"What is it?" one of the two asked while the other paused to clutch a stitch in his side. "What happened?"

"In there," Willow replied in a hoarse tone, gesturing into the classroom. The twins led her back in. She heard them both gasp audibly and, the next thing she knew, Buffy was in their arms.

"Teeny? Teeny?"

"She can't hear you." Tara was calmly standing against another column, Buffy's wand in her hand. "She can't hear you."

But one of the twin's shook his head, angry tears visible in his eyes. "Dad!" he shouted out. "Dad!"

There was another moment before two more men came running into the room. The elder of the two stopped, his eyes widening in horror. "Merlin's beard," he muttered under his breath. The younger of the two stole forward and gently pried the woman from his younger brother's arms. "How can she be—"

Willow could barely breathe as she fell back to Tara, watching as the four men started their work on Buffy. She saw bits of colors, flashes of light and soft thumps but never did she hear Buffy take a gasping breath or give any other indication that she was still alive. She felt Tara reach for her hand and let her friend take it, knowing that she would need the strength now more than ever.

With a groan, Ron Weasley stepped back into the school. His sister was propped between him and Seamus as they helped Ginny up to the steps. They were quickly led aside by Aurors who were protecting the doorway, looking grave. As they slipped past the Great Hall, Ron gaped at the damage inside. The doors had been blown apart, leaving a gaping hole. The tables were either in splinters or else they were still smoldering. Ron wasn't paying attention to where he was walking and his foot brushed something soft. He looked down and leapt back in horror when he realized he nearly stepped on an arm.

"Who is that?" Seamus asked, realizing that Ron had found someone.

"I don't know," Ginny answered groggily. "But I need to sit down or I'm going to throw up." Seamus quickly set Ginny on the steps and helped Ron move large bits of rubble from the floor. His eyes widened as he realized just how deep this body went. His heart leapt in his throat as he suddenly realized who was being pulled from the rubble.

"Hermione?" Ron gasped as Aurors and members of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement came forward to assist in getting her out. There was no mistaking her wild hair or the shiny Head Girl pin on her school robes. He felt as though time stopped as she was carried past him. He heard Ginny cry out and fall over as her injured foot gave out. As his sister started wailing in pain, he went to help her.

"It was Hermione, Ron! Hermione! How can that be?" Ginny sounded stricken, her face pale under her freckles. "Ron!" She pressed her face into her older brother's robes. He held for a moment, his hand gently stroking her hair.

"Shh… I know."

And together, the two siblings helped the other up the steps to the infirmary. They had a feeling they would be more needed there than they were down here.

x-o-x

Buffy calmly walked. It didn't matter where she was going. But the sand was soft and grainy beneath her toes. The sun felt warm on her shoulders, felt good on her face. For some reason, her chest hurt but she wasn't going to give it a second thought. It just felt too good to be here with the sand and the sun and the warmth. Oh, and the ocean. The smell of the water was intoxicating.

She finally found a place to rest and sat, staring out over the horizon as endless waves came up around her. She smiled at the distant sound of birds and the slight disturbance on the sand as she felt someone approach her. A shadow lingered over her shoulder and she turned her neck, smiling at the figure that dropped down next to her.

"It's pretty here," Harry said solemnly.

"I know," Buffy replied with a soft smile. "There's just something about the ocean… it's so calm here, so peaceful."

"It's quiet," Harry agreed. "I can almost hear myself think. But… what does this mean? What happens now?"

"I don't know."

Harry shook his head, inhaling the warm air and letting it soothe him. "How… what…?"

"Shh," Buffy whispered, smirking over her shoulder at him. "You won. Come on… bask in your moment of glory."

"But…"

"Harry, listen to me," Buffy said, turning in the sand to face him, squinting in the light. "Don't ask questions you know I can't answer. I don't know anything… I've been here awhile." Harry followed her gaze and saw the long line of footprints.

"She's right," a third voice piped in. "And are you two the sorriest lot I've ever seen."

Both Buffy and Harry turned to look over their shoulders. A dark-haired woman in a white slip dress stood there, waving at them. "I guess you're surprised to see me?"

"I'm not," Buffy said with a warm smile.

"Faith, I—"

"We'll talk later," Faith told him with a gentle look of such tenderness that Harry felt his heart melt. "I've got to talk with big sister first." Bending down, she pulled Buffy to her feet. "Privately, I'm afraid."

Harry watched as Faith and Buffy disappeared before he turned back to the ocean, a small smile sliding across his face.

After they had walked for awhile, Buffy finally decided she had enough drama that she needed to know. "How did it happen?"

"It was quick."

For that, Buffy was grateful. "So is this your dream or my dream or…?"

"Beats me," Faith chuckled. "So much to say, so much I need to do and so little time." Her face turned pensive.

"How much more can there be to say?"

"Come on Buff," Faith smirked, turning back to her sister Slayer. "You're like the closest friend I've ever had. We've shared so much… I can't believe it's over."

"Why?" Buffy asked. "I mean… we're going to see each other a lot in Heaven, right? I don't plan on going to the other place."

"You won't be seeing me, B. You've still got fifty good years ahead of you. There's Quidditch uniforms and pitter-pattering feet in your future. And to say that the future is set in stone is a joke, but when you die, you just know, you know?"

"I think I know what you're saying."

"I think I know where the prophetic dreams come from now," Faith murmured. "I mean, everyone up here is a Slayer and we all see the future… and we can do the dream thing. So, you know, we can hang out again in your dreams."

"You really mean you can see the future?"

"So did you," Faith protested. "That night the Master killed you… when you woke up, you knew you could kill him because you had already seen it. It's a powerful gift to have… one I can't wait to share with the next one."

"The new Slayer," Buffy realized.

"I died so the next one is probably called already. You've got to find her. And you've got to let her know about the world… both of them."

"I will," Buffy promised.

"And I promise that I'll keep good ol' Giles busy. He'll have his hands full, learning about the history of the world and seeing how many books Heaven can hold… he'll still be busy cracking the surface when you come up."

"So, you see a good husband and kiddies in my future?"

Faith winked at her. "I see Quidditch hunks and pitter-pattering toddler feet in your future, yes. I also see a brilliant job, a loving brother and a devoted fanbase committed to your every need."

"What about—"

"What kind of sister would I be if I took you to the end of the journey without you actually getting there?" Faith frowned. "That wouldn't be very wise, would it?"

"I guess not." Buffy let out a long breath as she turned to her sister Slayer and yanked her into a tight hug. "I am so going to miss you."

Faith's arms clasped around Buffy's shoulders as she closed her eyes, allowing herself one last moment with her Slayer and feeling the tears pool in her eyes. "Look after my brother, won't you? He won't get this whole Slayer dream thing, but I know he gets you. You and Harry are important to him… and he needs to know who I am."

"I'll tell him," Buffy said, stepping back with a tight smile, tears shimmering behind those hazel eyes. "I promise I'll tell him who you are."

"You've got a life to live now and a world you just helped save," Faith replied. "Buffy Summers, how do you feel?"

"I think I'm ready."

"That's my girl," Faith whispered, reaching out to touch Buffy's head and smiling as the golden girl disappeared. "That's my good girl." Taking a deep breath, she went to retrieve the younger Potter sibling.

He was still staring at the sea when she sat next to him. A moment passed before his hand found hers in the sand, his thumb brushing over her hand. Her head tipped to his shoulder, inhaling his scent and feeling her heart break all over again.

"What is this place?" he inquired after some moments of silence.

"I don't know… I'm thinking it's a dream."

"I think I'll like these dreams."

Faith gave him a wicked smile as she rose to her feet. "Walk with me?"

"I'll always walk with you."

Faith turned away so he couldn't see her pained expression. They walked for a few moments before he took her hand again. "Is this the kind of vacation you're looking for?"

"No," Faith replied. "It's not quite what I had in mind, but I'll take it."

He was quiet for a moment before he said, "I watched you die."

"You did."

"So…"

"See, there's this thing called a Slayer dream. In the dream, a Slayer sees the future. And I see that you have a future. You've got such great friends and the world right now… I can hear them singing and laughing and praising your name. Its beautiful music and I wish you could hear it. I really wish you could hear it."

"Faith?" he asked, reaching for her. She let him take her arm as his wrapped around her shoulders.

"You are going to hear it… every day for the rest of your life. The world still has its darkness, but it has found its light. And the journey ahead of you… it's the greatest adventure. It's full of mystery and intrigue and drama and light and love… it's the perfect road for a hero to take. And you've got so much power now… it's time to use it for good." Her breath caught in her throat as she realized just how intense his eyes were. "I only wish I could take that journey with you."

She watched the pain cross his face as he turned away, but he never let her go. "What do you mean…?"

"I can't come with you," Faith replied, shrugging. "I'm sorry, but that's how these things work. You've got the rules and you've got me and you've got me following the rules. This is what I've got to do now. There's so much to do and so little time, but we'll be seeing each other again. It'll take awhile though."

"Because you can see my future?" Harry asked skeptically.

"Do you want to know what I saw?" When he didn't answer her, she continued on. "I saw that you were at peace. You had a great career. And you learned to trust your heart again."

"How can I trust my heart when it's telling me I'm in love with you?"

For the first time, Faith felt her perfect control slip. "I… I have never had anyone love me before like that. And I'm pretty sure that every girl who dreams of love and devotion would be lucky to know what it was like to feel like me when you first told me you loved me. But… I knew we wouldn't last forever. I… I had to die for you to live. I knew that. I accepted that. But in my life, I've never loved anyone more."

Harry took that moment to wrap her in his arms and pull her closer, feeling her tremble in his arms. "I will never stop," he vowed, tightening his grip.

She grabbed him by the arms and pushed him away. "Yes, you will. You wanna know why? I've seen your future. If you take this path, you won't live as long as it takes to know what true peace feels like. You are the one the world counts on now. You are the chosen one. You've got so much ahead of you… don't throw it all away for me. Please… please… Harry, you have to let me go."

She watched as his face tensed and he looked away. A moment later, his hand came up to brush the tears from his face. "I…"

"Shh…" she whispered, pressing her finger to his lips. "I only have a moment. I want to spend my last moment in this dream with you." Taking him by the face, she pulled it down to her, brushing her lips to his. He pulled her closer but felt her slipping away, even after she pushed his arms away, smiling. "I'll be seeing you."

Harry watched as Faith turned and walked away, disappearing into the mists a few seconds later. He just turned back to the sea and sat, unable to remove his eyes from the horizon. He felt the numbness from the tips of his fingers to the bottoms of his feet.

This, he thought to himself, was what it felt like to live in a world so close to the light, but never be able to touch it again.

x-o-x

Hundreds of students and others had gathered at the grounds at dusk. Soon the flickering lights of hundreds of candles as well as a solemn chant filled the air, surrounding Hogwarts. Inside, the scene was still somber. The harder cases had been immediately sent to St. Mungo's, including Buffy and Harry. The one wing had been turned into a morgue. Eight Death Eaters were lined in the corridor, but there were eleven in the morgue itself, including star Gryffindor student Hermione Granger. There were ten Slytherin students from the sixth and seventh years that were removed from the dungeons of Snape's classroom and brought to St. Mungo's as well, though there was little that could be done now that they had received a Dementor's kiss. Friends and families had gathered with the fallen.

And, at last, Hagrid approached with a figure slung over his shoulders. It was with great pain that Professor McGonagall saw Professor Dumbledore lowered to the last available cot. Her eyes held compassion as she touched her mentor's face and placed his hands neatly over his chest. "You've done good, old man," she whispered, her eyes filling with tears. "We won."

x-o-x

It was with great effort that Buffy opened her eyes.

The ceiling above her head was white. Remembering her dream during her coma, she felt a slight amount of panic, expecting to see her parents or Cedric hovering over her, telling her things weren't real and that she needed to wake up and face the real world. Instead, she turned her head and found a redheaded figure hunched over her hospital bed, snoring lightly.

"Willow?"

A figure on her opposite side suddenly sat up, a book falling loudly to the floor. "Buffy? You're awake?"

Buffy's head snapped weakly to the other side. "Hi, Wes. Good to see you, too."

Wesley's eyes turned down to Willow as he shook the younger girl. "She's awake!"

Willow sat up, yawning. "Sorry, I just dropped…" Her eyes widened when she saw Buffy smiling at her. "Oh, my… you're alive! You're there… you're really there! I… I found you and Tara said that you were dead, but I didn't want to believe her, but I can't… oh, goddess!" She threw her arms around Buffy and clung to her, weeping. Buffy held her best friend back for a moment before collapsing back into her mountain of pillows.

"What… what happened?"

"An Inferi attempted to pull the same maneuver they did with Giles," Wesley said briskly. "They didn't succeed. You were in bad shape though when they brought you in."

"When who…?"

"That would be us," a somber voice came. Buffy's eyes lit up at seeing Fred and George Weasley. Behind them stood their father and apparently the last brother she had never met.

"Hi," Buffy breathed. "I can't tell you how glad I am to see you. You're both insane!"

"They wouldn't be my sons if they weren't," Arthur Weasley said with a small smile.

In a room across the hall, Harry slowly opened his eyes, wincing at the bright lights directly overhead. He felt a sudden pressure at his waist and looked up to see Mrs. Weasley gently smoothing over his sheet and talking to someone over her shoulder. The person suddenly pointed forward and Harry found himself being lifted painfully from his hospital bed and into Mrs. Weasley's arms. He sighed and relaxed into the embrace, feeling like he had never been that warm or welcomed before. His eyes filled with tears as she gently set him back. As she moved away, he saw both Ron and Ginny standing there. Ginny's arm was in a sling and Ron's face was bruised, but both were alive and all right.

"Harry! You're alive… in one piece!"

"It's good to see you, too," Harry said as Ron patted his arm. He smiled at Ginny, who smiled back, though her smile was more guarded. He heard the distant voices in the background, but he couldn't tell them apart. "And Hermione, she's okay?"

Harry didn't miss the dark look exchanged between the Weasley siblings.

"Ron?"

"She… didn't make it," Ginny said in a small voice.

"What?" Harry felt as though his chest had deflated. "What do you mean, she didn't make it?"

"From what we were able to gather," a new voice stated as Arthur Weasley suddenly appeared over his wife's shoulder, "she died when the entrance doors were blasted in. But we found four unconscious Death Eaters around her. She saved the lives of every single person inside the Great Hall." He gave his son and daughter a significant look. "That includes your lives."

"Oh," Ginny whimpered.

Harry couldn't take it anymore. He felt tears running down his cheeks. "Buffy?" he whispered. He didn't want to know the truth, but Faith hadn't said anything to him about her. For all he knew, she sent his sister off to Heaven before she realized what had happened.

"She's much worse off than you, mate," Ron said quietly. "When they brought her in…" Ginny let out another whimper and Ron wrapped an arm around his sister's shoulder. Harry felt his heart plummet.

"You won't have to worry about that now," Mr. Weasley said quietly. "She's awake."

Harry let out a long breath of relief and sank back into his pillow, closing his eyes. "How…"

"It's a new morning," Mrs. Weasley replied. "There are thousands behind you, even more. There is a vigil outside Hogwarts now, waiting to hear word that you live."

Harry frowned slightly. He was alive. He felt strong… he felt powerful. He held up his bruised hand and flexed his fingers, appreciating the way they moved. "How many did we lose?" he finally choked out.

There was a look exchanged between all in the room. Harry felt his heart lift as Lupin and Sirius both ducked inside, grinning. Lupin held up a large box of chocolates and Sirius held a ridiculously large stuffed black dog. "There are loads more downstairs," Sirius said, knocking aside an empty bottle of potion and a bedpan while Lupin added the gifts to the small table beside the bed.

"Thank you," Harry said, taking his godfather's hand.

"You just get yourself better. You get to be a hero now."

Harry felt his eyes moisten again and he vaguely wondered since when he became such a show of waterworks. It was almost humiliating for him, a young man, tearing up over every little thing.

"To answer your question, we lost a fair few," Lupin said mildly, gently interrupting the calm moment.

"Faith, for one," Sirius said hoarsely.

Harry nodded. "Hermione, from what others are telling me."

The two men exchanged a look. It was obvious neither one had heard this news.

"And Rupert Giles," Ginny filled in, "Buffy's Watcher."

At their wayward glances, Harry knew they were hiding something from him… he felt it. "And…?" he asked lightly.

"Dumbledore," Lupin replied sadly. Harry let out a long breath and stared up at the lights, hearing the sounds of the others moving around him. Nurses seemed to materialize out of nowhere, adding bouquets of flowers, huge potted plants, large stuffed animals, overflowing tins of biscuits and everything to the tables surrounding his bed. He saw Ron sit in one of the chairs. He watched Ginny disappear out into the corridor to talk to someone before coming back, smiling slightly, as she took a seat next to Ron. Ron's parents went next door to check on Percy, who had apparently suffered a serious back injury during the final battle. His eyes gazed every so often at the door across the hall, as though expecting to see his sister walk through it. He saw Sirius' backside and knew that his godfather was looking in on her. He felt grateful, but also sad, knowing what Sirius had lost… what they all had lost…

They all had so much grieving to do.

x-o-x

The next few days showed enormous changes in the Wizarding community. The overnight vigil had grown until three thousand people had gathered around Hogwarts, each holding a candle, each singing in a slow, soft chant until word was given that Harry Potter lived. A great cheer rippled through the crowd and the somber dirge turned into a celebratory song. Cheering broke out in Muggle streets and, at last, the British Prime Minister was able to release the weight that had complicated matters more… the war in the Wizarding world was over. Good had prevailed over evil once again, though with a price. Harry was released from St. Mungo's later that day and had walked out into a crowd of hundreds. Ducking under many advances, he couldn't help but laugh when he saw his familiar Firebolt and a familiar figure standing next to it. Harry gladly flew off with Oliver Wood, who admitted that he had looked in on Buffy after hearing that she had almost died in the final battle.

Since then, it seemed like every day was new and exciting. But, in Harry's mind, every moment he was awake he was aware of the cruelty of the war and what it had cost him. It seemed to him that he couldn't get warm, couldn't bask in the glow of the celebration. He had yet to hoist a drink in his name, but had dumped many from the friends he had lost. Even Ron was somber, turning over a goblet of pumpkin juice when a tearful Parvati Patil read a rather touching eulogy for her dead sister, Padma. Ron had once taken Padma to the Yule Ball and the guilt had obviously not worn down on him as he had gone and embraced a tearful Parvati afterwards.

Then came the worst role of all – burying the dead. Buffy and Wesley had taken care of Giles' arrangements. Buffy had been released from St. Mungo's the day after Harry had been and had been taken by Wesley back to Hogwarts. She had then walked away from a tender moment shared between the Watcher and the klutzy Witch in order to spend time with a grieving Sirius.

But in Harry's world, things went on. Students carefully moved around the pieces were Hogwarts had fallen apart, though it seemed that every single Witch and Wizard with a chainsaw and skill for metallurgy suddenly arrived to assist in putting Hogwarts back together. Classes resumed, but Harry found that his heart wasn't in it.

"Listen to that," Ron said, drawing away from the window. They were in London, at Buffy's flat. Ron was fixing a Muggle tie and making a face. In the distance, Harry could hear singing. He scowled at his reflection in the mirror as he turned to the window, toothbrush in hand.

"Won't they ever stop?"

"Any reason why they should, mate?" Ron asked. "Blimey, I can't wait to burn this suit."

Harry couldn't disagree with him. The last time he had worn the nice Muggle suit Buffy had bought him was Hermione's funeral just two days before. It had been a painful event with nearly every Gryffindor showing up at the plot with Hermione's Muggle parents staring at them in disbelief. Professor McGonagall, looking very out-of-place in a Muggle dress, gave them the Hogwarts flag bearing the Gryffindor crest and told them that her daughter had died with distinction, honor and a posthumous Order of Merlin, First Class. Harry had detached his medal for Special Services to the School and had attached it to Hermione's calm robes. She was buried in her blue dress robes, the color adding little to her pale face. He barely held in his tears as he said a silent goodbye before adding a silent plea to Faith to look after his fallen friend.

Dumbledore's memorial had come the day before classes had resumed, less than a week before. Hagrid had carried Dumbledore to a white table and had set him down. The new Minister for Magic had given a touching speech, followed by one from Harry, but only because the crowd had started cheering when they saw him, despite his attempts to remain hidden.

But this service would be small and, for that, Harry was grateful.

"Are you gentlemen ready?" Buffy asked, coming from her room and hurrying down the steps, pulling on her leather pumps as she went. Harry stared at his sister, completely overwhelmed by how delicate she looked. Obviously she was taking Faith's death hard, too. He gave her a half-smile and turned to fidget with his own tie. Buffy finally took pity on Ron and quickly did up his. "We should hurry… we don't want to keep Sirius waiting."

One thing he was grateful for was the way Buffy had suddenly turned to Sirius for comfort. Harry had tried to throw himself back into a normal routine, but it was hard, especially since he received more than a hundred owls each morning and hundreds more throughout the day. He had two bins full of unread mail, mail he knew Hermione would be reading if she were still here.

He felt his eyes glisten and he felt his heart tighten as, once again, he thought of Hermione. Oh, how he missed her! It was like losing a piece of his soul with her no longer there, giving him the answers to everything he needed.

"That and we need to study for our N.E.W.T. tests," Ron pointed out.

Buffy gave him a patient smile. "That too." As the three passed below the steps, Buffy took her bag, nearly losing a slip of paper inside of it. Harry touched the pin on the lapel of his blazer and smiled down at it. Buffy lifted the Hogwarts flag bearing the Slytherin coat of arms, mainly because she had asked Severus for one and because she knew Professor Snape and Sirius would never stand for more than a minute in one another's presence without someone dying.

"Let's go."

Faith's service was small, indeed. Only a few other students showed up. One surprise was Juliet Rosier. She immediately went to Ron, hugging him silently and crying into his shoulder. Ron seemed to suddenly know what to do, patting her shoulder and whispering soft words of comfort. Harry stood alone until Sirius joined him. Buffy had gone forward to the casket in order to drape the flag over. The family mausoleum was waiting for its latest addition, one Sirius wasn't sure about. But Buffy had convinced him that Faith belonged with her family – it was something she had been looking for her entire life and one she had finally found with the Blacks.

The other surprise guest was Draco and his mother. Neither was too happy as they had their own grieving to do. Lucius Malfoy had been killed in the final battle, but Narcissa seemed somewhat nonplussed, even offering her cousin a soft smile and a handshake. Draco had gone immediately to Juliet and the two shared a hug. Ron didn't even bother protesting, seeing as how Draco had somehow, someway, saved Ginny's life in the battle.

For a moment, all stood around the casket. Harry then stepped forward, unpinning the Order of Merlin, First Class from his coat and gently pinning it to Faith's dress. She had been buried in the white dress that both Buffy and Harry had seen in their dreams. It made her look like she was reborn, casting off a life she never loved but finally getting the peace she deserved.

After that, Buffy stepped forward. During Hermione's funeral, she had been in tears, only pausing enough to say that Hermione was the first person in the Wizarding world that made her feel like she wasn't someone to be feared, but rather someone special. Harry had teared up a bit over that on his own, but said nothing to her afterwards.

This time, she smoothed a crumpled bit of paper and read aloud, "My life closed twice before its close; it yet remains to see if immortality unveil a third event to me. So huge, so hopeless to conceive, as those twice befell. Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need of hell. Mirror, shadow, sister, friend… half of what I am was you. A part of my soul is forever gone and what remains is broken, too. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next."

She could hardly speak towards the end, finally breaking off. To Harry's surprise, it was Draco who put the comforting hand on her arm. Harry shook his head, watching as his former arch-enemy comforted his sister. And, the weird part was, it didn't bother him anymore.

Once Faith was lowered into the ground, Harry felt as though a part of his soul had died, too. He remained there, even after all of the others had gone.

It wasn't until Sirius appeared again, looking exhausted, did Harry finally turn away.

"I barely knew her," Harry breathed. "But I…"

"I know," Sirius said, clasping Harry's shoulder. "After what I've seen… I know."

"How can she be gone?" Harry asked, his voice wavering. "How can they be gone? What is this world if all I do is lose the people I love the most and the people who deserve the most don't even get the chance to see the world with light? How is this fair? I wanted a world I could look up to, a world to feel safe in. What kind of world is this? Why do the people I love have to die and suffer? Faith was so good and so wonderful to me and I wanted her to be… and Hermione… she was the strong one, the one who knew every answer, who had read every book. They will never hear the sound of a raindrop, or see the flash of pink as the sun sets, or feel the warmth of the sun. They will never drink a drop of juice or comb their hair or cry or clear their throat or laugh and I… I... I need to know why."

"I don't know," Sirius said quietly. "I don't know. Nobody knows. Nobody can."

Harry shook his head. He just didn't understand how it could go from being against Voldemort, the Wizard who killed his parents to now, a world without Voldemort and a world without his friends. It didn't make any sense to him… and he was done trying to pretend it did. "I don't know how to live in this world."

He felt Sirius grasp his arm tighter before the older man slipped away. "Harry, you're the Boy Who Lived. If you can't find a way, no one can."

x-o-o-x

Author's Note: This is the penultimate chapter, which means the one before the end. This chapter nearly destroyed me. The next is more of an epilogue. Again, many, many, many thanks to Grace, my beta and my friend, for being there with me every step of the way. This story would not be what it is without you.