What Were You Thinking?

Shippou decided that he would need to plan ahead in order to make his reappearance easier on Kagome and for that he would need Kilala's help. He quickly picked up his phone and dialed her number knowing that his friend would still be awake. He smiled when he heard her voice on the phone and asked, "What would you like for a late night snack?"

Kilala sighed as she placed her phone back onto its charger. She should have expected this from Shippou. Anyone would need a friend to talk to after meeting with Sesshoumaru. Shippou was no exception, despite the years they had spent together helping to protect Sango's and Rin's family. She knew Shippou severed all ties with Japan when the last member of their friends' family died during World War II. He blamed himself for failing to protect them. She had watched Shippou grow up and knew his sense of responsibility was very strong. He had prided himself on taking after Kagome in that respect and had proven that fact by protecting Inuyasha and Kikyo when it was clear that Shippou had only tolerated them for Kagome's sake.

Kilala shook her head, she too, had done her duty in helping to protect Sango's and Rin's family. After all, they were her kin in a sense, having to gone through so much together. But she chose to remain in her neko form throughout each generation, since it was so much easier to be in close proximity with the family in her kitten form. However, she took to protecting them in the shadows when both families ceased to train the children in youkai extermination and the times began to modernize. But it was not until after the war that Kilala decided to take a human form instead.

The doorbell rang effectively breaking Kilala's musings of the past. She opened the door and revealed a very laden down Shippou. It looked as if the kitsune had swept clean the prepared foods aisle at the supermarket. Shippou grinned sheepishly at his old friend and said, "I hope I have bought enough."

Kilala giggled and proceeded to relieve some of the burden from Shippou. When all the food had been unpacked from the shopping bags, it seemed like the kitsune missed the traditional and authentic Japanese food during his time abroad. Shippou had wasted no time in devouring the various types of sushi and other dishes.

When Shippou decimated the majority of the food, he leaned back with a content groan and thankfully accepted a cup of green tea that Kilala handed him. "From the way you ate, it looked like you haven't been eating for years." Kilala said, a twinkle in her eyes.

Using the tea to wash down the remains of his midnight binge, Shippou put his cup down with a sigh. "You have no idea how difficult it was to find decent Japanese food there. Not even the expensive and imported stuff taste anything like the stuff we have here and that we didn't get until of late." Shippou complained.

Kilala smiled into her cup and remembered that Shippou complained about the lack of decent western junk food fifty years ago while still in Japan.

"I can't believe it's been fifty years already." Shippou said, looking around Kilala's kitchen. "You kept to the traditional style kitchen, except now you have a better gas stove and refrigerator. I remember sitting in your kitchen fifty years ago when you first became a vet and I told you that I would be leaving."

Kilala refilled Shippou's and her cup before answering her friend. "You know we both made choices that would be the best for us at the time. Your grief would not have ceased if you remained here." Kilala said slowly. "I decided to become who I am because it was the best road I could have chosen. It was my way to survive and deal with the grief for failing to protect Sango's and Kohaku's descendents. By becoming a vet, I could heal youkai and animals' and heal the hearts of their owners at the same time. I understand how it felt to see someone you watched over get sick and died with you powerless to stop it. Now, at least I can make it a little easier for everyone. "

Shippou looked at his friend who had clasped her delicate claws around her cup. He had no idea that she would be affected that greatly either. He thought that being the companion to the great Midoriko and countless generations of youkai exterminators would prepare Kilala for facing the death of her charges. "Why didn't you tell us? Sesshoumaru and I could have helped you so there was no need for you to have to constantly move around and change your name."

Kilala shook her head, Shippou was lucky to have Sesshoumaru take him under his wing and being a taiyoukai, Shippou had wealth himself. Besides not having lands of her own, serving and protecting the youkai exterminators for generations had made Kilala become accustomed to having contact with people. Becoming a vet was the closest thing that for her to have contact with different people all the time but not the emotional burden that came with guarding one particular family.

Shippou nodded in understanding, for that was what drove him to leave Japan, to leave behind his home and friends, to leave behind the grief that had threatened to consume him. When Kagome left, he had been devastated. He had expected that his mother would leave, but to leave without saying goodbye had wounded him. As he grew up and became guardian of his friends' families, he experienced first hand the death of his charges with him powerless to stop it. Shippou realized that Kagome must have feared that if the shikon no tama remained in the Sengoku Jedai, there was the chance that she would have to watch them die one by one for her and she loved them all enough to wish for their happiness and leave. Yet, like Kilala, he had become accustomed to working with people and refused to give up the chance of making new friends. That is why he was so invaluable to Sesshoumaru. Since the youkai lord disliked humans, he needed Shippou to deal with the more mundane affairs of networking and public relations.

The two friends sat in silence enjoying the company each other had to offer. Kilala decided that Kagome must be the reason that had brought the kitsune back. "You want to meet Kagome again, don't you?" she asked quietly.

Shippou looked up at the neko, "Yeah, I missed her so much. Kilala," Shippou whispered as his voice begin to crack. "I have really missed her. When Zen and Suki died, I could not bear it any longer. I never got the chance to say good bye to them, they just left me, just like momma." Shippou started to sob the tears that he held back for fifty years.

Kilala reached over the table and gripped the kitsune's hand. It broke her heart to see him like this, to be orphaned once was hard enough, but to endure it twice? She knew that Shippou had relied on his friends' families as his emotional anchor through time until he could see Kagome again. But when the families died out unexpectedly, his emotional world came crashing down, driving him into over whelming grief.

Shippou longed for the protective and comforting arms of his mother. But learning that his mother become so dejected just added to his grief, he had patiently waited for five hundred years hoping that he could be the one who would be comforted instead of comforting. Unfortunately Shippou realized that he would have to continue to play the role of the protector until Kagome was completely healed.

Kilala sensed that Shippou had calm down and drew her hand away. "So what was it that you and Sesshoumaru talked about?" asked Kilala.

The kitsune looked up at the neko with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I told him about Kagome."

Kilala was momentarily stunned by Shippou's answer. What was the kitsune thinking of? True, Sesshoumaru did accept a few selected humans, but Kagome had never been on that list, had she? "But Shippou, he probably doesn't even remember her. I mean it had been five hundred years and they weren't the best of friends back then. Even though he did help us defeat Naraku, what purpose does it serve in telling him the truth about Kagome?" Kilala exclaimed.

Shippou just smiled and Kilala's outburst and said "Oh, Sesshoumaru remembers her." Kilala immediately looked puzzled "How do you know? No one ever said anything about her to him for the past five hundred years and he never mentioned anything about her to you either."

Shippou leaned back into the chair and said simply "Rin."

Kilala groaned, she should have known that. Those three were so close with each other that they became practically inseparable and were the instigators of many pranks over the years. "But Shippou, Kagome doesn't know that youkai still exists in this time. She does notice something is different about my clinic, but she doesn't recognize what is it yet. Letting her know about everyone else might just frighten her…" Kilala trailed off fearing to hurt Kagome even more.

Shippou sat up and leaned towards Kilala, "Don't worry, I won't push for her to remember us, but as you said she notices things, so I doubt before long she would recognize it and ultimately us. I've talked to Kaede about this before she died. Kagome's powers will slowly return as her heart and soul slowly heals. I have waited five hundred years, and for her, I can wait a little longer."

Kilala breathed a sigh of relief, thank Kami, that it was Sesshoumaru and not Inuyasha whom her friend preferred, Sesshoumaru was at least patient and instilled that trait in his protégé.

"I'll come by your office tomorrow." Shippou announced to Kilala as he was leaving.

"You are just using me as an excuse to see Kagome." Kilala teased. Shippou grinned sheepishly. "Come by around closing time and I'll introduce Kagome to you." Kilala promised.

As she cleaned up the remaining mess from their midnight snack, Kilala hoped that Shippou knows what he's doing.