Chapter 3: Technical Difficulties

"I hardly touched him!" Mal protested; his hands spread defensively.

"He's dead, Captain."

Mal bent to take a closer look at the man's face. He was a white man with a scraggly half-mature beard which seemed in-growing in more than a dozen places, which appeared to be causing a speckled rash over the man's neck.

"He didn't even fall that far!" Mal said, tilting his head to make sense of the fellow's additionally odd discolouration.

Simon came to stand next to his Captain. "You see here?" He said, pointing to the strange purple swelling that traversed most of the dead man's arms and neck. "That was my first clue that the fall wasn't the thing that killed him."
"So … I hit him too hard?" Mal seemed to puff up with manly pride.

The doctor shook his head, "Actually, it was neither the punch nor the fall that did it."

Jayne pointed a large, wide digit at the Doctor. "Yeah I heard that it's the ground that'll kick yer, not the fall. Aint it right, Doc?"

"Very astute." Simon almost grimaced. "But not what I meant. When this man hit the floor, he did more than bruised his spine. He ruptured a silicone pack inside of his lower abdomen."

Mal frowned. "He was smuggling something?"

"Yes. What that substance is … well it could be a number of things. But it was evidently a narcotic so potent that the high dosage killed him within minutes. He died of massive heart failure."

Mal turned to Jayne, "Get up top and keep an eye on the rest of 'em. No telling how many of these bei nanmin are carrying these things, and what lengths they'll go to keep it a secret."

Jayne flexed his right bicep and slapped his tensed arm, "I'm on it."

The Captain turned around just as River was entering the infirmary. Her expression was spacey as always. Like a curious wandering puppy, seeing wonder and intrigue in all new things, cocking her head in puzzlement as she tried to fully understand things as complex as death.

"This one doesn't make a sound."

Mal studied her for a second. "Dead people tend to do that. What with them being dead and all."

"That's what I said. He died wishing he hadn't left home … he wished he hadn't met who he met, and gone to where he went." Her voice was stoic and wistful as spoke as if reciting poetry. "He wished he could have seen his Mother one last time."

"Aint that touching." Mal grunted. "What about the others? What sound do they make? An ode to their grandpa's maybe? A full 3 verses of amazing grace?"

River squinted. "Too many to say. Like a hundred gulls all asking for different fish." She shook her head, flapping her oily hair about her face, "I could go ask them?"

"Go with Jayne. Don't talk to any of 'em, just stand by and try to find out what they're thinkin'."

River nodded and scampered off. Simon looked after her as if he was about to tell her to be careful, and then he seemed to remember who she was. He turned his gaze back to his cadaver, which he was currently prodding with various instruments.

"Doctor, I wanna know exactly what drug these people want to keep a secret from us smugglers. I get the firm impression that the job paid so well 'cos it included danger money."

"It shouldn't take me more than ten minutes to identify."

"Good. I'll be in the cockpit. Our new pilot doesn't like to stay where she's put."

---

Mal came up into the main corridor before the cockpit.

"Trouble?" Said Zoe, who fell into step behind him.

"Might be." The Captain said as he walked quickly up to the navpanel to check how far along they were.

There was a pause as Mal's face turned quickly from confusion, the shock, to disbelief, to anger.

"Da-shiong bao-jah-shr duh la doo-tze!" He swore.

"Elephant?" Zoe asked, not quite getting Mal's Chinese.

Mal pointed to the console, "She changed my gorram flight plan! The little punk!"

"That bad, Sir?"

Mal leaned into the console and frowned some more. "She's taking us straight to Bernadette instead of 'round the edge of the system like I set it."

The Captain had deliberately charted a slightly longer course to avoid any common law patrol areas that were typical within this area of the core system. His aim at been to head outwards and round the span of the system, before coming back in to meet the moon of Bernadette, but River had put them on the most direct route possible, even when he had ordered her not to.

"Sir…" Zoe said.

Mal was still staring at the console. "Me and the little one are gonna have some words after this is finished."

"Sir…"

"I might have to re-think her promotion …"

"Sir!"

Mal looked up at Zoe and followed her gaze right out of the front window. There, in the distance but closing, was a high-bulk Alliance fed squad ship running right for them.

The com transmission crackled to life. "Firefly class vessel. You are entering Bernadette air-space. Respond."

Mal closed his eyes and breathed deep, attempting to dispel the anger and frustration of yet another job that appeared to be going horribly wrong. He flicked a switch and the monitor blinked on, revealing a grey-headed federal officer in full uniform. He looked like he was having a long day, which Mal could relate to.

"This is the Captain speaking, what can I do you gentlemen for?"

"Cut your engines, Captain. We're conducting a random check of all inbound freighters and transporters."

"This is kinda irregular, Captain." Mal responded. "Don't the Alliance have some pretty strict rules about boarding merchant vessels in this zone? I believe you need a warrant if you suspect us of smuggling."

"New amendments. We have jurisdiction to search any ship we believe could be harbouring illegal aliens."

Zoe folded her arms and muttered something in Mandarin about the Alliance and their "amendments".

"Illegal aliens? They posing some sort of security issue recently? Terrorists or such…"

"Never mind, Captain. Power down your engines immediately or we will open fire."

Mal stared at the screen. "What ever you say." He flicked the switch back down and the monitor turned off.

"What now?" Zoe asked.

"We're humped." The Captain replied as he reached for the intercom. He pressed the button and spoke: "This is your Captain speaking; we're experiencing some technical difficulties with the feds right now, please run and hide. I repeat, please run, and then hide … in that order."

The intercom crackled and then a Simon's voice could be heard. "Captain, we need to talk."

"Not now, Doctor, I've got the feds threatening to open fire and a ship full of insane sword-brandishing drug-smugglers to hide. Zoe, power down the engines."

"Knives." Zoe corrected as she slipped into the helm seat.

"About the drug-smuggling part…" Simon replied.

Mal clenched his jaw, "Make it quick."

"It's phaerrapropraline."

"That what I think it is?"

"I believe the street name for it is "Bliss". But it's also known as "Special Brew", "Duce", "Liquid Fire" and "Huggy Bear"."

"That's … not what I thought it was."

"It's commonly known that pherrapropraline is the most addictive drug in the known system, but what's not know about it is that prolonged use causes gradual insanity, homicidal tendencies, and if you're lucky, death. This drug has no medicinal purposes, Captain."

Zoe came out of the chair and pulled free her handgun, already moving toward the door. Mal was close behind, his expression furious.

"We kill them before the feds board and then claim a reward."

"Understood, Sir."

But as they passed into the dining area, they stopped in their tracks as the slight form of River rolled across the floor, gagged and bound, and unconscious. The immigrants filed into the room, armed with guns, swords, knives and clubs without exception. Jayne stumbled out from the back of the crowd, his arms tied and his shoulder streaming with blood from a nasty gash that appeared dangerously deep. His lip and nose were busted. It took two men to keep him in check, but one of the men held a gun firmly pointed at the giant's temple.

"Drop your weapons, both of you." The oriental man said. This was the one who had been defiant earlier on when Mal had threatened the food thief. "Or this brainless, malodorous, oath gets even less brainless."

Mal and Zoe gave each other a glace.

"When he puts it like that…" Mal said, his gun pointed at the nearest enemy.

"Well, don't stand there thinkin' 'bout it!" Jayne whined. "Do as he ruttin' says!"