Disclaimer: Blah blah blah don't sue me. Don't own it.

Summary: You should know this by now.

A/N: Right, so, I've gotten some mixed reviews about that last chapter. But hey, whatever. This story is almost coming to a close anyways. For those of you who do enjoy this story, here's the next chapter.

Washing James' Whites Chapter Eight

Sirius Black was utterly confused.

"What in the bloody hell was that thing?" he asked, not quite sure if he really wanted to know the answer. Chelsea had her head in her hands.

"That, Sirius, was my messed up spell! See, originally this was all supposed to be medieval! A big dragon was supposed to steal Lily away and hide her in a tower and James would don some shiny armor and go and save her…and it'd be like a fairy tale romance, you know?"

"You're such a girl. That crap doesn't work!" Sirius exclaimed, scoffing.

Chelsea glowered, "Lily just wants to be swept off her feet. The only way she'd allow James to be the one to do so is if she's forced into the situation."

"Oh right, forcing your friend into a situation. That's REALLY romantic."

"You know what, Sirius, just sod the bloody hell off, ok? I was trying to help."

"Yes! AND LOOK WHERE WE ARE NOW!"

Silence fell.

"Uh, guys," Remus began timidly, "Where did James go?"

James Potter was stumbling along in the general direction the clothing-dragon had flown. He wasn't quite sure this was his most brilliant idea, but he was vaguely aware that it wasn't his worst. In the distance, he could see a large tower, that was apparently made of stone…but James had a feeling that given what everything else was made of, it was probably laundry-themed. As he pushed on, his mind wandered to Sirius, Chelsea, and Remus. There was no doubt in his mind that they were the root of this entire problem.

The sky was slowly growing darker, but James pressed on. If this was a scheme his friends had concocted, would they really put Lily in danger? No, he thought. But would they also make a world out of laundry? No, definitely not. At least…he didn't think so…Well…Sirius might.

"There he is!" Chelsea exclaimed, motioning the two boys over. They crouched low behind yet another bush.

"He's close to the tower. How are we going to see what's going on in there without being seen?" Remus asked, looking puzzled. Chelsea smirked and pulled some silvery material from her pocket.

Lily Evans had never been so uncomfortable in her life. Being tied to a chair tended to have that effect on people. She was sitting alone in the highest room of the tower. She had given up trying to wriggle free of her binding ropes. Apparently, clothing-dragons are very skilled knot tie-ers. She heard movement behind the door leading into the room and she tensed, unsure of what to expect. Part of her wished that it was James coming to rescue her, and the other part of her wanted to strangle the part of her that thought such ludicrous thoughts.

That was when James Potter burst through the door.

"Ow! You stood on my foot you big oaf!"

"Only because your elbow decided to take up permanent residence in my spleen!"

"Be quiet!"

"YOU be quiet Moony!"

"Don't be such a wanker, Sirius!"

"Chelsea, your insults aren't helping."

"Sorry, Remus, but he's such a prat I can't help myself."

"Me? ME! WHY I OUGHTA---"

"Shut up! Did you hear that?"

"Hear what, Chelsea?"

There was a low grumble from behind them.

"THAT!"

"James, no! Leave me alone! I can get out of this myself!"

"Right, I can see you're making a lot of progress," James said sarcastically as he worked on untying her ropes.

"I demand that you stop that right now! I do NOT need your help!"

"Stop being so stubborn, Lily."

"I am not---"

But Lily never got to say what she was not, as three people stumbled into the room, half covered in an invisibility cloak.

James opened his mouth, ready to reprimand them for the entire scheme when the clothing-dragon appeared in the doorway. Chelsea, Sirius, and Remus scrambled to get further into the room.

"James?" Lily asked softly, her voice etched with worry.

"Yeah?"

"Untie me…RIGHT NOW!"

"But you said-"

"JAMES! I'll kiss you if you do it!"

"Oh well in that case. But just so you know, I would have done it anyways."

James bent down and started untying the knots. The clothing dragon took a step forward. Sirius tilted his head sideways, taking a good look at the dragon.

"You know, it's almost humorous looking."

Chelsea couldn't help but smirk. The dragon let out a deafening roar, showing off it's large, razor sharp teeth.

"Ok, not quite so funny anymore."

Remus shook his head. James finally got Lily untied, and she jumped up and scrambled behind him.

"So where's my kiss, Lily-flower?"

"Now is NOT the time, James."

"Oh fine, be Miss. Prissy Pants."

Lily stepped on his foot. Hard. Chelsea shook her head, "James, you have to slay the dragon, then we'll go back home."

James raised an eyebrow, "Why me?"

"Why do you think?"

The dragon was coming closer, heading for James. James, oddly enough, wasn't afraid, despite the clothing-dragon being the end result of a messed up spell. Well, he wasn't afraid until he discovered the clothing-dragon could breathe fire.

"BLOODY HELL! WHERE YOU PLANNING TO KILL ME WITH THIS CRACK-POT SPELL OF YOURS!" James yelled as he dodged the dragon's tail. The other four were crowded in the corner.

"It crossed my mine once or twice, but I didn't think Lily would appreciate me killing her future husband."

"EXCUSE ME!"

"Oh don't deny it, Lily-kins, we all heard you tell him you'd kiss him."

"Shut up."

The others turned to watch as James dodged yet another blow from the dragon. James did the only thing he could think of and grabbed a torch from the wall and threw it at the dragon. It immediately caught fire and James wasn't sure if his idea was a stroke of brilliance, or extremely obvious. With a pop, the dragon disappeared and the world around them turned blurry, the colours spinning together in a giant kaleidoscopic whirlwind until all four teenagers landed with a thud in the laundry room of the Potter Mansion.

All five of them stood up and stared at one another. Lily's face grew dark as she glared at her best friend.

"I could hurt you right now."

"Which is why I am leaving," Chelsea said, scrambling from the room, followed by Sirius and Remus.

James raised an eyebrow at Lily, "Well that was an interesting adventure, wouldn't you say so, Lily?"

"No. That was the most hair-brained adventure I've ever been on."

There was a pause. Lily fidgeted worse than a fart in a bottle.

"Hair-brained or not, you owe me a kiss."

"I do not," Lilly exclaimed indignantly, stamping her foot on the ground imperiously, "I was under immense stress and wasn't aware of what I was saying. I plead temporary insanity," Lily snapped, leaving the room and slamming the door behind her.

A/N: Ok, so I realize that some of you are angry with me for the turn this story has taken. I never meant for this story to be serious and Laundry land is far from serious. It's a ludicrous idea and it's supposed to be. I even said in my summary for the story that things get out of control. However, others find it highly entertaining and I'm thrilled, so thank you. I know this update is long over-due and dissatisfyingly short, but with summer vacation and my computer having issues and needing to go see the comp doc, time just ran away with me.

Anyways, please review.

---SuperSpy